Hunting Demons: Remastered, Season One
by PyroQueenOfFire
Summary: Lana Meckenzie met the Winchesters and felt an instant connection to them, and they felt it too. With the unearthed secrets, death and the need to be loved and desire to be trusted, can Lana and Dean stay soul mates? Dean/OC; a little Dean/OC/Sam; Sam/OC
1. A Hunting Trio Forms

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

**Okay, so there will be some inconsistencies—like I came up with Hell Hounds for a storyline before Hell Hounds were introduced into the Supernatural world, so I had to make due, haha. Plus, there are things about Lana's character that change—because of lies and such. You don't really fully know the truth about Lana until later on and even then the boys don't.**

**Now, yes parts of this are different. Story lines are going to be a bit different and some things won't happen, or they will happen much later. It just needed to be re-written now that I'm caught up and I really like this version better.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

xxxx

The girl walked through the dark alley, sure that something was following her, but she tried to stay calm. If she stayed calm, then she might be able to get away because they wouldn't think she knew they were following her, and then she would be able to get home safely…right? She'd be able to rejoin her friends and then pretend like the whole bait idea wasn't a bad idea…right?

Sadly for her, that wasn't the case. The footsteps got closer, and she started to run, she knew it was stupid, but she felt that she had to—like it was the only way to get away. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she tried to even out her scared breaths, and when she got to the middle of the alley, she looked behind her to make sure she could get away, and when she didn't see anyone, she closed her eyes happily, and stopped running, letting out a sigh of relief.

She turned around to face someone she had never seen before, and just his presence terrified her. She was going to scream, but his hand shot out to her neck, and his long nails scratched her delicate skin and she swallowed as the large incisors protruded out of his mouth and he bit into her neck. This wasn't how vampires had ever been described to her before and it shocked her, but she knew better than anyone that sometimes a hunting job could turn around and become something else at the drop of a hat.

Relying on her gut instincts as she always did, the girl was going to scream, but the man snapped her neck before she could say anything, and then drank from her until she was dry, and licked off the wound, instantly healing it, discarding her body in the dark alley, licking his lips and walking off as if nothing had happened, shouts of two girls being heard as he hurried off into the night.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

It wasn't the first time weird things had happened here, and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be the last. I was busy researching the most recent death—the girl in the alley—the girl who happened to be my best friend: Chelsea Fields. The wake was today, and so I was in a black dress, wearing a black hat with a black veil attached to it, working on my portable, wireless laptop before I left in my car.

Chelsea was the fourth girl in the last four months that had been found this way—devoid of blood, with no physical wounds but that of the cracking of her neck. I had noticed that each attack was made every month, on the 15th of each of those months, and I was going to figure it out—I was going to need Jen to come back online so that instead of thinking about what had happened when we'd found Chelsea, I could focus on how to kill the monster that did this to her. My cell phone rang as I was looking up dark rituals on the net, and then I looked at the cover and jumped up, shutting the laptop and running to the door as I opened the phone as I remembered why Jen had logged off in the first place.

"I'm on my way, Jen. I just got sidetracked. I'll be on time for the wake. No problem." I told her.

"You better be." She said. "Chelsea's parents have been wondering where you are."

"I'm on my way." I said again, locking the door.

"Good. Get here soon." She told me. "We can't research forever—our best friend was killed while the three of us were on a hunt and her wake is _now_."

"Right, Jen. Right." I sighed. "Bye."

I hung up my phone and then hurried to my silver Lexus, driving all the way to Chelsea's house, parking on the side of the street and taking a moment to let it all sink in. Chelsea, Jen and I had all grown up together and now she was gone…claimed by a hunt…all because I was stupid enough to go along with her bait idea and yet then again, there were only so many of us that I knew of and we were all going to end up a bit dead sooner or later. I sighed and blotted my now wet eyes with a Kleenex from the glove compartment, getting out, locking my car, and hurrying up to the house, running into these two men that looked kind of underdressed, and I blushed.

"Sorry." I told them, ringing the doorbell. "I should really learn to watch where I'm going."

"You look like you're in a hurry." The one with lighter hair and hazel-green eyes told me—he was definitely the most attractive to me of the two.

I nodded slowly. "I'm late to my own best friend's wake. What side of the family are you on?"

"Oh…we're just friends from school." The darker haired one explained to me.

"I don't think I remember Chelsea mentioning you—I don't remember seeing you either." I said, trying to hide my laugh because they were so obviously lying.

"Right…because you went to the same school too." The light haired one told me.

I smirked at that as they realized their story was off. "Yeah, and I don't remember any good-looking men there. It was an all girls' school, guys and even then, we graduated a while ago. Do your research better if you want to snoop around."

The shorted one smacked the taller one in the arm initiating a rather upset reaction as Jen opened the door. The two composed themselves when I hugged her tightly, pulling away from her to see her looking them over. Jen had always been the more hospitable one of us, so I just let her take it from there, even though I was going to talk to the casual dressers about what they were _really_ doing here.

"Who are you guys?" She asked the two men.

I waved the question off. "Friends from school."

She nodded and laughed a little, both of us in on the little joke we had between us since neither of us went to school. Jen had been the hardest to convince to drop out of college, but after the attack on me that happened for the first time in a long time, she agreed. Now she knew through our little code that the two men behind us were just really bad hunters. I had a certain intuition about people, and now was just one of those times when relying on my instincts was key.

"Well how about you take your _friends_ into the study and talk to them there, will you? I need to check on the refreshments table and then I need you to work on _your _duties." Jen told me, squeezing my hand and taking off.

I turned to the men and smiled. "Follow me." I shook my head a little as they thought for a moment, but soon they were following me into the empty study, watching me as I shut the door behind us and locked the door. "I'm Lana…all right cuties, what are your names so I can help you with your cover? Real ones, please, so that I can actually help you out with what you need…"

"I'm Dean." The light haired one told me as he paused, shocked a moment. "And this is my younger brother, Sam."

I smiled. "Well nice to meet you. Just to let you know, I did _not_ go to the all girls' school, and I will pretend I know you, okay? Now why are you _really_ here?" The men looked at each other, and then looked back at me as we sat down and I realized that they thought I wouldn't believe what they were going to say. "Something supernatural, eh? I agree. Jen and I have been researching, but what, I still haven't figured that out. God, what I would do for a scotch!"

"Scotch sounds good." Dean told me with an impressed smirk. "I take it we've encroached on another hunter's territory then?"

I smiled at him. "We're not going to find any scotch here, and no…not _encroach_. Jen and I, as much as we want to do this for revenge, could actually use a fresh pair of eyes and ears. It's our fault Chelsea got ganked, and as weird as it sounds…I think we're dealing with vampires." I explained, lowering my voice a little, just in case someone randomly waltzed into the room. "She was drained of all of her blood, and her neck was snapped—I'm thinking a demon of some kind definitely—or some kind of dark ritual, but my research hasn't really reached any conclusion yet."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "No _wonder_ you need our help: someone needs to explain to you that vampires—"

"—have to be beheaded? I'm aware of that, thank you. What you're not aware of is that some of the really stupid ones that people write about in books actually exist. Perhaps not by name, but definitely by definition." I replied, cutting him off. "Who needs whose help now?"

Dean cleared his throat, but I knew he was intrigued, Sam laughing a little as he watched the two of us verbally go at it.

"What makes you think you can trust _us_ with this?" Dean asked me.

I took the time to make eye contact with him and smiled. "You were trying to be undercover, and you're not dressed for the occasion. Not to mention that you needed an alias, so you were obviously looking for something, and this being the fourth death…in any ritual, there would most likely be one more—pentagrams. We both need each other's help and I figure why not team up for the time being, right?"

Sam and Dean nodded before Sam spoke up. "Could you show us your research?"

I nodded. "After the wake, sure, Sam. As for right now, I need to run on off to do my best friend duties, but since Jen is coming over later to help me some more, I suppose our new eyes and ears should join."

"All right…after the wake then." Sam told me with a smile…a killer one at that.

Four hours later, Sam and Dean followed me in their beautiful Chevy Impala to my house, and when we got out, I opened my door and sighed happily—it was good to be home and practically alone. I'd never really gotten entirely used to a hunter having to be secretive and alone and mostly unattached—the best ones were _completely_ unattached—but with my past, I was learning. I ushered them in and went straight to the mini bar, pouring myself some scotch and Dean as well when he got that look on his face—that happy look I used to wear a lot more often.

"Scotch?" I asked Sam.

He shook his head. "Water's good, thanks."

I nodded, and gave him some ice water, and then I went to the couch and cuddled into it, opening my laptop and then looking up at them as I drank my scotch on the rocks and I giggled. They were standing there stiffly until Dean swooped down into the lazy boy chair near him, Sam rolling his eyes and muttering something under his breath to his brother that Dean rolled his eyes at.

"Make yourselves at home." I told them, mostly to reassure Sam since Dean had already taken the liberty of putting his feet up on the coffee table. "Hey! Use a coaster!"

Dean smirked and grabbed one of the coasters, putting his feet down and coming to sit down next to me on the couch, picking up my notepad. Sam followed suit and sat on the couch across from the one that Dean and I were occupying, waiting for me to pull up the things I had on what possibly could have killed Chelsea. He definitely seemed like the one that took things a little more seriously, while Dean seemed to be in it for the thrill of the hunt—so different and yet…they fascinated me.

"You see," I began, turning the laptop so Dean and Sam could see it, "if it was this ritual here to bring about great evil, it requires blood of five people, and would be able to be complete in two months—something about the moon cycle—which fits with the pattern of the deaths. However, you do not need all of the blood of each victim, and the cracking of the neck makes it a lot harder to draw blood. Jen and I were stuck on that for a while, but that's the way it is sometimes, right? Guess until you get it right?"

"But what if they cracked the neck later on after they died?" Sam asked me, trying to piece it all together.

I shook my head. "The marks indicate that the blood was drained afterwards—the bruising."

"How do you know this?" Dean asked me, genuinely curious and waiting for another answer that would make Jen and I his kind of hunters to work with.

I blushed, and got myself a second glass of scotch. "Jen and I have fake ID's for morgues—it's how all the great hunters do it isn't it?"

Dean beamed at me. "It certainly is. After the wake, Sam and I were going to go and look at the bodies ourselves."

Sam leaned back on the couch as he looked over the notepad Dean had returned to the coffee table and then they both looked at me as I poured myself a third glass of scotch. Sam seemed a little hesitant about me ingesting all of the alcohol, but for some reason the research just reminded me of the confrontation…of Chelsea's death…of my ridiculous plan that got her killed. I was supposed to protect her, and I had practically handed her to the vampire on a silver platter and I was supposed to live myself after that? So what if I got revenge on the vampire that did this? My other best friend was no longer here and it was my fault it had been that way.

"You think you should slow down?" Sam asked me, genuinely concerned for me even though he barely knew me—if he even knew me at all at this point.

I shrugged, and I was actually starting to feel sad. "You don't understand…" I began slowly, "I feel like if I had just told her it was a plan that was most likely going to go wrong—if Jen and I had been straight with her—we could have spared her—I could have handled myself a lot better in that situation but I let her do it…I'm pretty much the worst friend ever."

Tears started to spill out of my eyes as I drank the third scotch down, and then I was sobbing, and grabbed onto Dean who was closest, and Dean hugged me gingerly, trying to comfort me without ruining his manly reputation—I was only assuming he had one of those reputations because he acted like it—it was in the air of the way he walked and everything. He wasn't at all comfortable with the touching, even if I had spotted him checking me out before, and so I let the shift happen—let Sam comfort me instead. Sam was strong, and he held you firm and gentle, and I snuggled into his chest, Dean clearing his throat so as not to be forgotten, but we didn't know each other and he didn't do the crying thing…like at all.

"It's all right. You couldn't have saved her." He said slowly as the doorbell rang.

"That must be Jen." I said, pulling out of Sam's arms and wiping my eyes.

"You want some space?" Sam asked me, looking me over to make sure I was going to be all right—couldn't very well have one of his partners become a basket case of nerves.

I shook my head. "You know, since you guys are going to help me, why don't you just crash here? The whole house is mine and it gets lonely, so feel free to stay as long as you want. Extra blankets and pillows are in the hall closet. My room is the second on the right up the stairs if you need me."

The boys were surprised but Dean nodded, me heading to the front door and pausing a moment to check myself out in the mirror near the door. I knew I shouldn't have started to put alcohol in my system—not when I knew I was a sad drunk and I had things to be sad about. After tousling my hair a bit and then making sure my eyes were as dry as I could get them, I reached for the door knob and opened up the door to reveal my grinning best friend.

"Hey, honey." I greeted.

Jen smiled and then looked sad and sighed. "Have you been crying, Lan?"

I just shrugged a little. "I'm kind of in a funk right now and _might_ have had a couple."

"Oh God, you're such a depressed, horny drunk." Jen laughed loudly.

Jen rolled her eyes and nodded before she hugged me, her eyes widening as she looked past me into the living room at Sam and Dean. She was going to talk to me about how I needed to be more careful when mixing my sorrows with spirits, but now she was focused on the two hunters standing in my living room. I laughed a little and helped her out of her coat, hanging it up on the coat rack and nodding as she found her words.

"What are they doing here?" She asked me, shooting me a look. "Did you open up some kind of hunter inn, or whore house when I wasn't looking?"

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Since they're helping us out, I figured the least I could do for them was spare them a motel stay—you and I both know that I charge more than they can afford." I joked with a wink at the boys and then looked Jen in the eye.

"Fine…at least you're using your head as well as being hospitable…leave it to _you_ to house strange, attractive men." Jen nodded and then waved at them as I smiled and shrugged playfully. "Um…hi guys."

"Nice to see you again, Jen." Sam greeted her warmly, Dean giving her a small wave.

Jen followed me into the living room and I handed her the notebook, her setting to work on my laptop as Sam looked things up on his and I went into the kitchen. Dean followed me and I couldn't say I wasn't happy about it—I'd been practically making eyes at him ever since we'd met, and I had no idea was I was so drawn to the cheeky son of a bitch. I turned to face him as I grabbed the vitamin canister out of the cabinet, and he smirked a little, making me want to jump his bones.

"I never asked you why you were here." I told him. "And I mean, like here—in Kansas."

Dean nodded and looked at me hard before he decided to answer truthfully. "We just finished a case and found this one."

I smiled at him and tucked my brown hair behind my ears. "That's got to be some luck of ours that we found new help—I have to hand it to luck because my karma is amazingly terrible."

"Oh, really? Well I suppose you could thank your luck then…we were in the area, heard about the mysterious deaths over here—and we're from Lawrence." Dean told me, and I could tell he really didn't talk about himself much when he made a little face and then recovered quickly—he was being too honest.

I smiled again though. "Small world."

"That it is." Dean told me with a shrug. "And not like that ridiculous Disney Land ride either."

"God, I hate that song _because_ of that ride," I said with a smile.

I laughed at him and for a moment the two of us made direct eye contact and smiled at one another and I felt pretty good about the current situation. Even though I knew they wouldn't be staying, for the time being I had company and it was the kind of company I was looking forward to. Honestly, it felt to me like we had a connection, and I had a strong feeling that Dean felt it too…and then we heard Jen laughing.

"Sounds to me like Jen and Sam are getting friendly." I told Dean, our eyes still locked.

He chuckled and I suddenly felt tingly all over—in the _best_ way. "She didn't giggle, so I doubt flirting is going on. Why…you jealous for the giant?"

I smirked and shook my head. "One, Jen doesn't giggle, and two, I really don't think I'm interested in either of you, and since Kevin's death is still fresh for Jen, she's not either—your brother just must be funny."

I knew I was lying—I wanted to take Dean then and there, but I was standing my ground since we'd just met, I wasn't easy, and I didn't even know his last name. He was simply another hunter, in the same vicinity, and I had been celibate for quite a long time…my entire existence, actually. Still, something about him was making me feel like I knew him—feel like there was something between us that was completely unexplainable…a connection of some sort. Again…my feelings were almost never wrong.

"Sam's girlfriend died recently too, actually." Dean admitted, motioning his head into the living room. "If you want to ruin both of their chances of getting laid, then be my guest."

I laughed and shook my head at him. "So you're _that_ kind of guy, huh? I mean I know lots of hunters—males and females alike—are rather horny and promiscuous, but some of us actually have some morals…and they include not hooking up to try and get over a death of someone close to you."

Dean smirked and let out a low chuckle that made my entire body tingle again, and I went past him into the living room, smiling as Jen and Sam went over research together. She was simply laughing because Sam had some funny hunting stories to tell—there was no obvious flirting going on, even though Dean and I could tell that Sam and Jen might possibly be interested…at least Jen was. Noticing our entrance, Jen told Sam it was time for her to go and headed out to finish things up for her father, hugging me before she began to head to the door.

"I say we do this bright and early tomorrow morning." Jen explained, looking me directly in the eye. "I have some new research for you, but maybe you should look it over when you're sober."

I nodded and laughed. "All right. I need to sleep anyway, so get your ass home."

She smiled and waved 'bye' to the boys, me showing them to the guest rooms and then giving them a small tour of the house so they knew where things were, and made sure to let them know they could make themselves at home…and made sure to end the tour back in the living room. I grabbed the bottle of scotch even though I knew I shouldn't since we had to hunt the next day, but part of me wished that Chelsea was here arguing with me and Jen about how it should all be done. I looked at Sam who was worried and I couldn't help but already become attached to the two men standing in my living room—hunters or no, they were so protective…and so genuine.

"Sure you don't want to slow down with that stuff?" Sam asked me again. "I mean if you want I can stay up and we can talk."

I smiled at him, noticing Dean shifting a little uncomfortably. "It's just one night and I don't want you to give up sleep for my stupid problems…I'll be okay, I promise."

A few hours later, I had only had two more glasses of scotch, and I was pacing my room, thinking hard about things, tears streaming down my face. Occasionally I would have to blow my nose, and then I looked up to see Dean coming into my room, carrying a bag of cookies—I didn't even care that I was in a short nightgown and I looked like a mess. It was almost as if he was suddenly _trying_ to be an angel, and I wasn't going to stop him.

"Thought maybe you'd want some." Dean said with a shrug, like it was nothing.

I smirked at him. "I've known you less then twenty-four hours, really, and you're already hitting on me."

Dean smirked too. "You've been hitting on me all day…scotch?"

I pointed to the nightstand, and soon I was trying to keep up with him, and the both of us were wasted, and I was crying my heart out, and laughing as well, trying to figure out the murder. Dean was also opening up to me, even though I could tell that he could handle a few more before he _had_ to spill his guts to some random girl he'd only just met…he seemed to actually want to share things with me. Then I hit a nerve when I asked how he and Sam ended up hunting together, and Dean told me how he and Sam had been hunting all kinds of demons before when they were young, but now Sam had dropped out of college because Jessica, his girlfriend, had been murdered, and they were looking for their father who had gone AWOL.

"I'm sorry I brought it up." I told him, lying back on my bed and looking at him.

"It's fine, Lana, really." He turned his head and gazed at me fondly, reaching out to stroke my hair. "You know, you're really beautiful."

I smiled and sat up, my face close to his, way too lonely to deny the poor man a good lay. I'd never done this before, and I certainly had no idea what I was doing, but he was taking care of me in a way and I was never going to see him again. It was one of those opportunities that I couldn't let pass me by, so I kissed him, pulling away right as he started to kiss me back. I bit my lips and ran my fingers through his sandy brown hair, our hazel eyes locking together before his lips crashed into mine and he laid me down on the mattress, his fingers slipping up under my nightgown.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute." I said as he removed my underwear and went for his belt. "I don't even know your last name."

Dean chuckled and ran his thumb over my lip with the hand not up my nightgown, and I knew that even if he didn't tell me, I was going to let him have me. He wasn't even upset I'd stopped; he just ran his fingers along me lightly between my legs making my lust for him grow, and then when I asked him what his last name was, he abandoned trying to simply arouse me and looked me in the eye.

"Dean Winchester and you are?" He asked me.

I smiled at him and gasped when I felt one of his fingers push inside. "Alana Meckenzie."

Sex really wasn't at all what I had imagined it to be ever. There were moments when I wanted to scream it felt so felt so fabulous, but that moment when he finally pushed in was so painful, I had to bite my lip to stop myself from asking him to stop. I fought back the tears, and after a few moments it started to feel a lot better, especially with his mouth and hands trying to please other parts of me along the way, so I sucked it up and the two of us finally got a rhythm down. He had nothing but dirty and coaxing words to say, so we bantered a little, me climaxing first, followed by him, and then afterwards he held me…the ladies man I was pretty sure he was, was spooning me, and when he nuzzled my hair with his nose, I just snuggled into him and fell asleep.

xxxx

Everything hurt the next morning: my head, my privates…and then when I opened my eyes they hurt too when I was practically blinded by the light, and quickly covered my eyes—damn windows! When I looked around, squinting, I saw Dean lying under the covers, the bottom half of him was covered with the sheets, our clothes on the ground. I grabbed a large button up shirt and pulled it on, and then pulled on a fresh pair of panties and pulled my hair back into a ponytail—I was never going to drink again, that was for sure. It was fun, my cherry was popped, but for some reason now I felt like a cheap floozy, and Dean and Sam were gonna pack up and get out of my life when this hunt was over and I didn't want them to leave.

"Oh my." I heard Dean say.

"The joys of scotch." I replied, turning to him with a smile on my face as he laughed.

"Sam's still down there probably." He said, squinting until I closed the curtains.

I shrugged and headed for the door. "I need coffee more than anything—I could care less if your brother sees me like this."

I turned the doorknob, stopping when I heard Dean's voice ask, "So how was it?"

I looked at him with a smile on my face. "It was one big, happy blur. You're kind of better than I thought you would be."

Dean chuckled when I winked at him, and I headed out of the bedroom, going downstairs, putting the ground coffee beans into the coffee maker and then adding water. Then I went into the bathroom and grabbed some Advil, turning around to Dean, and then I gave him my two pills, and got myself two more. He looked used to hangovers, and I certainly wasn't, even though I had been drunk once or twice before, and I envied that he could handle so much more than me.

"When will the coffee be ready?" Dean asked me as he popped the pills down.

I shrugged, and then I felt it—rising chunks. "You might want to leave."

"What?" He asked me with an eyebrow cocked.

I couldn't answer him, because I had lifted up the lid and then leaned over the toilet, throwing up the evidence of what caused me to sleep with Dean the night before, as Dean made a noise and left the room. He knew if he stayed in there with me while I was vomiting he would lose it too, and I really couldn't blame him. When I was done, I flushed the toilet, rinsed my mouth out, and then I grabbed my toothbrush and some toothpaste, and brushed my teeth. Walking out into the kitchen, I poured myself a cup of coffee, and then I went and sat down with my laptop, trying hard to ignore the splitting headache, and the stomach lurches, and then I looked up and saw Sam looking at me funny.

"I figured you guys wouldn't mind if I walked around like this for a little bit. I have the worst hangover." I said, closing my eyes and taking a sip of my coffee.

"It's not like I haven't seen more." Dean said, sitting down on the other end of my couch and drinking coffee too, me really wishing my hangover was as minimal as his as Sam looked at us both a little confused.

Dean cleared his throat. "We, uh…don't judge me, Sammy."

Sam sighed and shook his head. "Real nice of you to take advantage of her, Dean. You know I thought you were the one who said that we weren't supposed to get close to people when we were in this line of work."

"Thank you for the concern, Sam, really, but it's fine." I told him with a fond smile, pleased that he cared enough to try and put Dean in his place. "Dean and I are both consenting adults and it was just one night that made us both feel better—I'm a big girl…I can handle it…even if it was my first time."

I had mumbled the last part into my coffee, but Sam and Dean had both heard it and looked at me as I sipped my coffee. Sam then immediately gave Dean an angry look and would have lectured him then and there if I hadn't been in the room, I was sure, and Dean…I couldn't place his look. He was a little stunned and yet a little proud and yet a little upset with himself, and I instantly knew that he was going to remember me, even when he was off getting ready to hop into bed with someone else.

"You certainly seemed experienced last night, Princess." Dean asked me and then he laughed a little and shook his head. "You really don't mind giving out information, do you?"

"Neither do you." I pointed out and shrugged. "I didn't bring it all up." Sam sighed, and then I set the cup down and dinked around on my laptop as Sam and Dean exchanged looks with each other, Sam wanting to say something but not in front of me, and then I sat up straight, my eyes widening. "Oh my God, I know exactly what we're dealing with! Ritual? Pshh! When we were first researching, Jen told me that she was pretty sure there was a lair around here of demons pretending to be the old school vampires—the stake in the heart ones—but we never found anything. Since no girl died last night…plus Jen kind of tailed a shady looking guy last night and thinks she found a lair."

Sam took the information all in and nodded slowly. "Okay, but…what about the bite marks?"

"Vampire saliva has healing powers." Dean and I said in unison.

We looked at each other for a moment and then looked at Sam, me pleading with him to accept it and help us. Sam and Dean knew they didn't have a reason not to trust Jen and I thus far, so they nodded and we got dressed and headed to the coordinates that Jen texted to me on my cell. I looked up at the building and called Jen, her laughing when she picked it up, Sam and Dean arguing over by the Impala as I stood on the sidewalk.

"So are you sure this abandoned building is the lair, Jen? You've been wrong before." I told Jen as I made a face at having to go in there. "It's just demons pretending to be vampires."

"Look, trust me here. Who bailed who out of the building with the secret plans last time because she was being stupid and didn't listen to her?" Jen asked me, and I knew her eyebrows were raised at me just from her tone.

I sighed and replied in a small voice, "You did."

"Exactly. Now go in the stupid building, Lana." Jen told me with a laugh.

"Okay. Okay. Fine." I said and motioned to Sam and Dean, who joined me.

"Just be careful—don't let anything happen to Sam." Jen said, and hung up on me.

We were standing outside of a huge building in the city, and I had my hands on my hips. I wasn't sure that they were right about this because it only took Sam two hours to find it. Cases rarely ever just dropped into your lap, but sometimes they did and I would just have to be thankful about this one, I supposed. I looked at Dean looking me up and down, and then I just rolled my eyes and went towards the door instead of telling them what I wanted to tell them.

"Wait!" Sam cautioned. "We have to be prepared."

I smiled, and pulled a gun out of my coat pocket. "Holy bullets with crosses etched into them—won't kill them, but it'll hurt like a mother." I explained, and then I pulled two viles of clear liquids out of my pockets and then I handed them to them. "Holy Water. Use it well."

They looked at my funny, and Dean held out his hand for gun. "Hand it over."

"Um…no." I told him. "I get the heavy machinery—I brought it after all."

"Oh please. Like I'm going to let a woman carry the gun." He said and motioned for me to hand it over again. "Like you even know how to operate heavy machinery."

I scoffed and shook my head. "I learn pretty quick—you learned that last night—and for your information, I take offense to that sexist comment. Now are we checking this out or not? You are helping me with my case, and honestly now that I know what needs to be done to finish it, I could really do this without you. There is way more to me than you know."

"No, no. We're good." Sam told me, standing right by my side. "Don't let the fact that he's an ass make you do something stupid."

I smiled and nodded at him. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Sam nodded and kept walking, Dean coming up next to me both of us lagging a little behind. He reached out to grab my hand, me stopping and looking at him as he gave me a look and then Sam turned to look at us. My eyes were focused on Dean though because obviously there was something he wanted to say to me.

"I don't think Sam wanted to know anything else about last night." Dean told me, and I knew it wasn't what he wanted to say, but it was what came out anyway.

I shrugged a little and let go of his hand. "I don't think you ever want to talk about it again. Was it really that bad?"

"I don't think now is the time to talk about this." Sam said suddenly. "After we kill the demons, please?"

I nodded, and led the way into the building, walking slowly and listening hard to the things around me as I walked. Something moved past me quickly, and I turned to the right and started looking around madly, trying to figure out where this thing was. Dean was close to me on my other side, like he was protecting me, and I smiled slightly. He was so mutli-faceted, and I really wished that after this I wouldn't have to see the last of him…I wanted him to stick around.

"Over here!" Sam called out and I turned around and saw a hitch in the wall.

I pulled on it, and then I stepped inside and immediately tried to hold my breath at the stench. There were three dead bodies hanging on the wall—all of them looked like familiar missing girls from the past few months, and I realized how wrong my theory had really been—this thing fed like all the time. It just meant that Jen was pretty much the brains of the operation, and I was just the gung-ho Mistress of Violence.

I whirled around when I heard a noise and I saw the vampire with his hand to Sam's throat, cutting off his airflow, and then the creature looked at me, a sly smile spreading across his face. Dean stepped in between us though, and Sam smashed his vile of Holy Water into the vampire and it screamed releasing Sam as Dean threw his bottle. The vampire started to come at me, and then Dean shook his head and hit the vampire, but it didn't faze him much.

"She's my toy, not yours." Dean told it, and then I grabbed a stake out of my pocket on my pant leg and shoved it into his heart, watching him burst into ashes.

"Let me fix that for you." I told Sam, hurrying over to him as he nodded, and followed me outside.

Once at my house, I cleansed, treated, and wrapped up Sam's hand while Dean sat there and looked at things on my laptop. I was already attached and I knew it, but looking into Sam's chocolate brown eyes while I treated him as best I could made the feeling sink into my gut just a little more. Sam smiled his infectious smile at me and I couldn't help but want to snuggle into him, blushing a little as he chuckled a little and it warmed my insides.

"Thanks." Sam told me, and I just smiled and nodded.

"Anytime. And you." I turned to Dean, walked over to him, and slapped him. "I am nobody's toy."

Dean rubbed his cheek and smirked a little, and we hung out for the rest of the day, me telling them to get a good night's rest here before leaving. It took convincing but Sam caved first, and the next morning I made breakfast as Sam and Dean told me that they should really get going. I nodded, and I realized that my heart was breaking when they gathered up their things to go and packed up the back of the Impala. It was just going to be me again, in this big, empty house, occasionally with Jen over to bond with me. Both of my adopted parents had been murdered by demons, and my siblings…they weren't around and that was simply the way it was so I followed them to the Impala and bit my lip at them.

"You sure you have to go?" I asked them suddenly.

Sam nodded slowly. "We have to find our father."

"You can't stay for like, two more days? One more day?" I tried glad Sam was considering it even though he was shaking his head.

Sam smiled at me. "We would, but we should be heading out."

"It's not like we won't call." Dean told me with a grin.

"Yeah, because I trust you to call me." I said, smiling as he smiled and shrugged. "Look, at least wait for like ten quick minutes, all right?"

"Okay." Sam nodded as Dean sighed, "Fine."

I ran upstairs and packed like the wind, running out with one bag of clothes, and one bag of weapons. It was a rather rash decision on my part, but I couldn't just let them leave me when the connection I felt with them was so strong. Sam smiled a little at me even though Dean stayed surprised the whole time as I stood there in front of them for a moment and then continued to move so that I wouldn't back out.

"I'm coming." I said, opening up the back door of the car and tossing my things in. "I could really help, and I'm in need of an adventure. Jen will always keep in touch, and fighting demons is thoroughly refreshing. I have money too and hunting experience!"

"Just get in, Lana." Sam told me, grinning and motioning to the car.

"Can you wait one moment while I talk to her alone please?" Dean asked Sam, holding up a finger to his brother and then dragging me over to the porch and looking me directly in the eye. "Why would you want to do this? You have a great place here, and beautiful friend, and I don't see why you'd throw your life away on hunting."

I smiled at him and ran my thumb along his hand, surprised when he didn't take his hand away from mine. "I think I made that clear—helping people leaves me with a wonderful feeling inside. Besides…having a normal life is over-rated, and when you know about the existence of monsters…it can't really be 'normal'."

Dean nodded slowly. "You know I was only trying to get to you earlier right? You don't have to do this to get back at me, because last night was amazing and I wouldn't want to take it back…I'm just a dick sometimes."

"It's nice to know, Sweet-Talker, but I'm not doing this to get back at you—and don't worry, I'm not doing this to get _with_ you all the time either—I just want to help, and I don't really have anything here besides Jen, and she's got her own life actually trying to be normal, so without me that's less hunts for her. This isn't about the fact that you want to just leave this as a one-night stand, is it? Because I won't get in your way of other girls at all—I'm over you."

Dean laughed as I winked. "You know what, we could use a change in pace. Come on."

He moved his head in the direction of the car, and I smiled, and followed him, getting into the back seat of the car. I couldn't even begin to describe the joy I was feeling that I was actually going to get to travel with Sam and Dean. They were perfect strangers, and I knew that, but on some level we understood each other because we understood what it was like to be a hunter…what it was like to sacrifice and keep secrets.

"Welcome to the team." Sam told me, and then Dean turned the engine over and the car sped out of the driveway.

**Note: Okay, so there is some more and I think you'll enjoy the new storylines. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	2. Trying to Find Footing

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter changes a little because I have a plan and a purpose for everything, lol.**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

It was actually really surprising to me just how much I felt like I was attached to Lana already given everything. We'd done two hunts already since letting her tag along with us—which was definitely Sam's idea over mine even though I okayed it—and she could handle herself. In fact she seemed to be better at the hunting than I was even sometimes and it made me wonder because she was so much younger than me…okay, only five years younger, but still.

I'd looked her up on the Fed database and I realized that there were some odd inconsistencies in her past. She was certainly a hunter and she had a habit of sometimes going off of the grid for a time or two and I found myself watching her a lot more than other woman. I was used to loving and leaving and here I'd been given an 'out' so I was certainly going to take it. There was no room in this business for getting close to people or for trying to be someone's boyfriend, fiancé, or husband.

It was just that Lana was starting to get under my skin and that was a bad sign—if I got attached then I would feel something when she left and that just wasn't my MO. She was just our friend the hunter and whether or not I loved watching her hips as she stuck a demon with a knife, I had to remember that she was just another hunter. Just another incredibly attractive woman that could…okay, she was one of the only women I knew that could honestly probably kick my ass…

xx

**Lana's POV**

Traveling with the boys was actually rather pleasing and entertaining. I was learning quite a lot about both Sam and Dean, and I was finding myself rather attracted to both of them. I knew it was bad because they were brothers and Dean had totally deflowered me, but I couldn't help it, and they were so different from each other that it kept me intrigued. Dean was definitely the ladies man I thought he had been, while Sam was a gentleman and protective without being overbearing. To be honest, even though I knew there was a connection between Dean and I, Sam was the one I was starting to fall for with his shy smiles, his killer grin when he was entertained, and his dimples—and of course his sweet as sin attitude.

A couple weeks after we had started traveling together—me sleeping in Sam's bed when we got to motel rooms because Dean always tried to cop a feel—we stopped at a gas station. I was rather hungry so I got out of the Impala while Dean tossed Sam his wallet, Sam pulling out one of the fake credit cards and looked at me as I shifted in the backseat. I set my laptop on the seat next to me as I cursed under my breath leaning up and over the middle and shoving the charger for my laptop into the cigarette lighter. Dean was looking at my chest and I knew it, and I just rolled my eyes and then got out to get a newspaper as Sam started to pump the gas.

"Can't you look news up on that precious laptop of yours that you never let anyone touch?" Dean asked me with a chuckle.

If I haven't yet mentioned that Dean Winchester was hot, than I have to mention it now. Sam and Dean Winchester were both very attractive, but for completely different reasons, and I knew it was their differences that made them both so appealing to me. Sam had darker brown hair, was taller, his muscles more defined, and big, strong hands that honestly could touch me anywhere at any time. Dean's hair was lighter, his muscles were leaner, he did amazing things with his tongue, his nose was sexy, his freckles adorable, his arms locked around you and you knew you were safe and protected, and damn was he attractive naked—tack on cheeky and funny as Hell and you got yourself a rather amazing man. It was hard to choose, but Sam didn't look at me like I was simply another warm body and a notch on his belt…which honestly might have been why I was more attracted to Dean.

Don't get me wrong—Sam Winchester struck me as the nice guy that you were supposed to take home to Mom, but he just lost his girlfriend and he treated me like a friend. He treated me almost like a sister sometimes and yet Dean had a way of caring and then just acting like it was because he wanted in your pants. It was annoying as Hell the majority of the time, but I loved that he was sexually attracted to me and yet he actually cared whether or not I died. It had nothing to do with love or actual care, of course, but something about knowing a man wants to do dirty things to you makes a woman feel wanted and Dean made me feel damn wanted.

"The internet doesn't smell like a newspaper, now does it?" I asked smiling.

Dean smiled and shook his head, following close behind me as I headed into the gas station to buy myself something to eat. It was early morning and I had dozed in the backseat of the Impala when I wasn't glued to my computer screen trying to learn more about monsters, demons and ghosts using the sites Sam had showed me. I wasn't quite trusted enough to touch their father's journal and I didn't press them on it—there were things about my family I wasn't comfortable sharing with them either, and when in a tight spot I just lied…something I was damn good at by now—oh! Powdered donuts for cheap!

"What brings such a gorgeous girl to parts like these with two such unworthy men?" The cashier asked.

There was definitely something wrong with me because I normally didn't like blondes, but this man was definitely on my 'Oh-My-God-You're-Fucking-Hot' radar even though he had the worst pick-up lines ever. He had dark blue eyes that twinkled when he smiled at me, looking me up and down and I sighed ever so slightly because I wasn't looking for any more hook-ups—alcohol and I were no longer friends, and I was not picking up any more strangers…even if they were hot strangers. So I just laughed his line off and grabbed the powdered donuts, a couple bags of chips, some gum, and a pack of the power Vitamin Water, dragonfruit flavored, and headed up to the counter, putting it all down.

"For your information, I don't like you hitting on my girlfriend." Dean told him sternly.

I felt my cheeks flush, but I smiled, and looked away so neither of them could see it. If Dean was going to pretend that he was my boyfriend than more power to him, but he definitely wasn't going to bed me again anytime soon—not until I felt like I wasn't just his plaything. The cashier didn't stop smiling at me, but he did smile a little less when Dean's eyes blazed into his when they made eye contact for a brief moment and he swallowed a bit…Dean was a little intimidating when he was protecting his 'property' and I was definitely not his property…

"Sorry dude, I didn't know." The cashier told him, raising his hands up a little in surrender.

"Well now that you do, can you please ring this stuff up for us?" Dean asked him shortly.

I smacked his arm for being so rude, which made him upset and the cashier rather happy, and then pulled out the money to pay for things. Dean, however, wanted this image to stick, and kissed my cheek and paid for it with his own money, even helping me to carry my junk food back out to the Impala. Sam had just put the nozzle back and was getting into the passenger seat, stopping and opening up the back door for me, me smiling at him and him smiling back, and then I sat in the back and put my laptop on my lap after I buckled in.

"You owe me $15.78." Dean told me, and he was serious about it.

I laughed and shook my head. "Actually, you _chose_ to pay for that. Get over it."

Sam frowned at his brother. "Could you at least be nice to her once in a while?"

"But she practically threw herself at that cashier back there!" Dean protested. "I don't have room in this car for another stowaway should they want to hook up!"

"Um…I didn't throw myself at anyone, Winchester. _He_ hit on _me_, and _you_ jumped in and told him to stop hitting on your girlfriend. If anyone's throwing themselves at anyone, it's you throwing yourself at me—I could have been completely independent and paid for my own food, so since you tried to be a gentleman, you gotta reap what you sewed, Buddy." I told him with a smile on my face.

"Yeah, if you offered, it's your loss," Sam said, but he was smiling a little bit.

Dean grumbled and then was quiet, starting the car and getting back on the road, Sam sneaking glances back at me. I smiled at him, our eyes meeting, and then blushed a little and got onto my IM, Jen online. We started to talk about what had happened and what she had been up to, and though she thought Dean was flirting and I did at first, I was pretty sure he was simply marking his territory, and I was no one's property. When I called him a 'jerk', she reminded that he was a jerk that I had a one-night stand with. I giggled, and then I wiped the smirk off my face when Dean turned around, and went back to talking to my best friend, occasionally making eye contact with Sam.

"What do you think that guy meant back there when he said 'these parts'?" I asked as we passed some place the military was blocking off. "Oh, I was just asking Sam something, Jen."

"I don't know. I think it was just a pick up line." Dean said angrily.

"Stop the car, Sam." I told him, and he nodded. "Jen I'll call you back."

I hung up my cell phone, got out of the car, opened Dean's door, and dragged him out. He wasn't happy about it, but he followed me behind a few trees where no one could see us, and I pushed him up against the tree. I was a little sick and tired with Dean being aggressive and acting like he owned me, and like he was jealous about every guy that came onto me—even though not all of them did. Sam was just barely dealing with all of it, and Dean was now smirking at me…one of the other things about Dean Winchester that made him hot and made me all hot and bothered.

"I'm through with you being angry at me for other people hitting on me when I didn't do anything. If you like me, or you're jealous someone else is looking at the thing _you_ slept with, then deal with it and stop taking it out on me!" I told him firmly. "You do _not_ own me, and you do _not_ get to take your jealousy out on me! Just be a man and own up to the sexual feelings so we can both move on."

Dean sighed loudly. "I just—you're part of our team now sort of, and it's not good to go making ties with people."

"I made ties with you guys and it's turning out fine." I told him with a shrug. "And I love our banter, I do, but can we make it a little more playful, please? I like the sex jokes and the wiggling eyebrows and yelling at you for smacking my ass…yelling at you for making me sound easy just because I let you deflower me, not so much."

"All right but only if you promise me on thing." Dean said and when I nodded he took a deep breath. "Just don't get attached to me okay? I tend to hurt people."

I laughed a little and smiled at him, stepping a little closer too him. "Well it's too late for that, because I'm already attached to you…you _and_ Sam."

Dean smiled a little bit too. "I see."

I rolled my eyes, which was becoming a habit with me with him. "Don't even think about getting _any_more from me. I'm attached to Sam too, you know—I _just_ said that…in fact I think I'm rather quite attached to Sam."

The look in Dean's eyes made me think that he was going to kiss me and I held my breath for just a moment, but the second I stressed Sam in the last sentence, Dean pulled back. He nodded and then he got out from between me and the tree and headed back for the car, me biting my lip and staring at the tree instead of watching him go. If they hadn't been brothers it would be so much easier, but they were, and I was about to wedge in between them and I really shouldn't have been trying to do that…so maybe I should just be their platonic friend with boobs—Hey! That's actually a good idea, Lana!

I went towards the car and got into the back seat, Dean already back in the driver's seat, ready to get the car back out onto the road. I couldn't tell if he was jealous about me being attached to Sam _and_ him, but I knew that part of me wanted him to be…I was such a terrible person. Sam looked at me as I buckled myself in, determinedly not looking at either of the Winchester brothers, my eyes focused on my laptop. I could feel his gaze though, and _wanted_ to gaze into his calm and caring chocolate eyes, but I was willing myself to be collected and mature about this…God I wanted them both.

"You know, someday that laptop of yours is going to make your eyesight go." Dean said as I got it out and opened it up, happy Jen was online still.

"Why must you keep making her angry?" Sam asked him with an exasperated sigh. "I mean all you do is pick fights with her—no wonder women only wanna be around you for a night."

I laughed and Dean shot us both looks. "Maybe it is, Sam, but honestly he's not making me mad, he's just trying to banter with me.

Sam smiled as the two of us made eye contact, the beeping from Jen's conversation being the only thing that dropped our gaze. The youngest Winchester was _definitely_ flirting with me, and I was really glad that even though Dean and I had totally slept together already when we were drunk, Sam wasn't shying away because I liked the meaningful eye locks. I felt his gaze leave me as Dean looked over at his brother and grumbled slightly, waving it off when Sam asked him if something was wrong, and soon we had stopped to stay in a hotel for the night, me proposing it because I wanted better room service, and in turn better food, and so Sam told the man at the front desk that we only needed two beds and one room in which I piped up that Sam and I were married. Dean looked a little dejected, but went along with the story as I slipped my arm through Sam's, and then we went up to our rooms after acquiring the key.

"This is so much better than a cheap motel!" I exclaimed, flopping down on the nearest bed and then sitting up, my feet dangling over the foot of the bed. "So…I'm going to sleep here and you two are going to share that giant thing."

Dean laughed. "Oh no, sweetheart—you're going to sleep with Sam since that's what you've been doing the whole time you've been with us and he's your precious_ husband_."

"Someone sounds resentful." Sam told Dean, tossing his duffle at my feet and bending down to rummage through it. "If you want to sleep with her for a night, all you have to do is ask."

"What am I, the Winchester Whore?" I asked with a laugh. "Because, Baby, I expect to be paid for my services if you're just going to be passing me back and forth between the two of you—and you do not get to pimp me out to strangers or fellow hunters."

Dean chuckled and then he sighed. "Damn, because I know a couple hunters that would pay quite the pretty penny to have a night with you, Sweetheart."

I rolled my eyes and then looked at him, trying not to bite my lip as Sam's hair ran along my bare leg, me wearing shorts. Dean noticed the slight flash of pleasure in my eyes though and the eye contact broke between us, Dean opening up the duffle he'd tossed onto the other bed. Sam headed into the bathroom and I pulled my shirt off, Dean looking over at me and eyeing my chest as I searched in my duffle next to me for a tank and my boxer shorts. Dean had already seen me naked, so changing in front of him really wasn't an issue, and when I was dressed, Dean and I heard the shower in the bathroom running and Dean chuckled.

"Poor guy wants to smell all right since you're going to be cuddling up with him." Dean pointed out.

I smirked and shrugged. "I kind of like it when he smells like he's been active."

Dean grumbled a little and nodded. "So…Sam's the kind of guy that you're into?"

"Honestly? Honestly you are both rather attractive and any girl would be lucky to be with you…I choose to sleep in Sam's bed because first time I slept in yours and you copped a feel and rubbed up against me and I liked it." I replied with a laugh. "Just because you're both here, doesn't mean I should be taking advantage of it and we all know it. We're business partners."

Dean nodded. "All right…I can deal with that since you so logically and dotingly explained it the way that you did."

"I'm glad, Dean." I replied, and then set my duffle next to Sam's and got into the bed under the covers, looking up at Sam and smiling as he came out of the room drying off his hair in a t-shirt and boxer shorts. "Someone's getting a snuggling tonight because they smell good."

I knew that the flirting with Dean in the room was totally not the right thing to do, but I couldn't stop myself—the words came out of my mouth and there was no taking them back. Honestly, the grin Sam gave me really made me feel just fine about it, and Dean turned the light off rather quickly when Sam crawled into the bed with me, and once we were bathed in darkness I cuddled up into Sam and blushed when he stroked my hair. In that moment I felt Sam's breath on my face, and beamed at the faint smell of mint—the man smelled damn good and when the kiss was pressed to my forehead, I kissed his cheek in return.

Even though Dean was in the room, in the next bed over—which kind of made it all the more appealing, honestly—Sam's hand slipped down out of my hair and traveled to my right hand, giving it a soft squeeze. I was going to say something, but Sam just kind of turned over so his back was to me and I just nodded because Jessica was fresh in his mind and I wasn't trying to get in the way of anything. Besides, we were business partners and I kind of missed being in Dean's arms and it made me close my eyes.

"Goodnight, Dean." I said loudly, smiling a bit when he just grumbled and I stroked Sam's back through his shirt before keeping my hands to myself. "Goodnight, Sam."

"Goodnight, Lan." He whispered back, and I couldn't help but beam at the nickname because the care and sincerity was behind it and I felt like he actually wanted me there.

I woke up the next morning to Dean's arms wrapped around me, his face buried in my hair, and Sam wasn't in our bed anymore. I was wondering how and why Dean was in Sam's bed, and figured that Sam had gone out to do something, but what if he came back and Dean was here holding me like this? Dean smelled fabulous and he was locking me into that tight embrace with his safe, strong arms, and I couldn't help but shift so that he was completely cuddling me…so that he had me where he wanted me.

"Your hair smells good." Dean whispered in my ear, biting my ear lobe softly which sent pleasant shivers down my whole body.

I groaned happily. "God, you are a horny bastard, Winchester! And thanks…I make it a point to bathe."

Dean chuckled at my joke. "So what would you say if I asked you to let me love you?"

I turned over in his arms to face him and shook my head him pouting which made me instinctively bit his pouting lip softly, widening my eyes as he set his hand on my thigh. First he sleeps with me while we're drunk, then he cops a feel when I joined the team and made the duo a trio and now Dean stroking my thigh, trying to get in my pants again. Fantasy as it could be, yes, I certainly wasn't letting Dean back into my pants _that_ easy…he had to work for it and I had to be sure he wasn't gonna jump any random hussy that came along and still date me at the same time. There were some things that I just would not stand for and sooner or later he would know exactly what those things were.

"Admit that you like me." I said, my hand stopping his.

"What?" He asked, honestly perplexed by the order.

I nodded slowly and repeated in a different way, "Admit that you want me."

Dean sighed and then noting my determined expression, gave in. "Look, I _am_ attracted to you."

"And?" I asked, demanding an actual declaration and running my fingertips along his beautiful damn lips as my leg ran along his under the covers.

"And I may want you." Dean answered me after he swallowed.

I beamed at him and got out of the bed. "Well at least you admitted it."

I knew that I was being a tease and I shouldn't have been, but physical stimulation seemed to be the only thing that Dean understood at this point. He really wasn't very happy with the flirting and then with me leaving the bed when he wanted to jump me, but there were too many things to consider and I needed to think them all over before bedding either of them. Dean made a noise and I looked at him, our eyes meeting as he sat up and raised an eyebrow at me, a little annoyed and a little aroused—well, that made both of us.

"So I admit I might have a physical attraction towards you and you just get up from the bed when we could take advantage of the isolation?" Dean asked me, making sure he got it right.

I rolled my eyes and then reestablished the eye contact. "I'm physically attracted to you too, and you're a funny guy, and you handle yourself well—in all definitions and actions—but I think with more than my lust."

Dean sighed and laid back down on the bed, believing my every word—even though I didn't believe it myself. Honestly if I could just pick between them or keep my flirtatious comments to myself I would have, but I obviously couldn't and that was going to give me some serious trouble. It was then and there that I started to honestly take a good look at my surroundings and remind myself that I had come to be with them…and to hunt. It was totally not like me to do this to men—brothers especially—and I really didn't want to turn into a hussy by any means, so I took a deep breath and sat on the bed, Dean propping himself up on his elbows and looking at me.

"We could talk though…and maybe if we decide farther along down the road that we like each other, something could possibly escalate…" I said slowly.

Dean nodded slowly and I laid down next to him on the bed, both of us looking up at the ceiling, and we began to share random hunts with each other that we had been on. It was actually rather nice to get to know the Winchesters a little better even if it _was_ from Dean's point of view without Sam there to defend himself, and I ended up snuggling into him when he 'stealthily' scooted his body closer to mine. The warmth and the closeness was definitely welcome, and I very much wanted to stay in here and possibly go another round with the man, but I couldn't…I had to focus and use my brain since Dean wasn't using his upstairs one.

"So your dad pretty much bred you to hunt?" I asked Dean, looking up at him as my head now lay on his chest, his steady heartbeat pounding in my ear.

He looked down at me and ran his hand along my arm as our eyes met. "Pretty basically, yes—that's why Sam went to college…to get out."

"Do you want to get out ever?" I asked him, and I knew it was much too heavy of a conversation for us, but he didn't have to answer because we heard the door, and Dean got off of Sam's bed, hurrying to the coffee table and sitting down at it as Sam came in the door and sighed loudly. "What is it, Sam?"

He looked at me wearily. "I think I found a new demon."

"Of course you did." I told him, getting off of the bed and then standing at the foot of it, leaning on the end of it and taking a deep breath. "Can I take a shower first, maybe?"

Sam smiled and nodded at me, Dean shooting me a rather witty and dirty remark, me heading into the bathroom and got into the shower. Thinking about the boys pretty much made me need to take a cold one, and once that was done, I wrapped myself in a towel and blushed when I realized I hadn't grabbed my clothes out of the duffle I needed to change into. I swear to God it wasn't a planned move, but then again Dean had already seen me naked, and I for some reason already found it easy to be around Sam, so I grabbed my brush I had put there the night before, and brushed my hair as I walked out of the bathroom.

The towel was securely in place around me and I opened up and turned on my laptop so it was booting up, my face flushing another shade of crimson as Sam blushed and Dean raked his eyes over my towel-covered body appraisingly. I hurriedly grabbed some clothes out of my duffle and went to put them on in the bathroom, Sam and Dean completely silent in the room, until I emerged and then Sam started to explain about people dying from their worst fears. Dean thought it was a little sketchy, and I kind of did as well, but Sam was so certain that there was something here that I couldn't help but humor him and his adorable puppy dog face as Dean headed into the bathroom for a quick shower.

"So these people are dying from their worst fears? How did you find that out?" I asked Sam, sitting next to him on the couch in the hotel.

He turned to me and looked me in the eye. "I was talking to this woman whose husband and daughter both died—her husband drowned, and her daughter got caught on fire and burned to death—both of those were their fears—the husband's was water, and the daughter's was fire." Sam explained to me slowly.

I nodded and bit my lip. "So it could not only be like a fear demon, but an elemental fear demon?"

"What else would it be? Aren't all fears elemental?" Dean asked, stepping out into the room, a towel wrapped around his bottom half with another towel in his hand drying off his hair.

"I suppose." I told him with a sigh. "You just have to disagree with everything I say, don't you?"

Dean nodded and then Sam stepped in before Dean could retort and said, "Some people are afraid of seran wrap."

"But you could tie that in with air." Dean told his brother, pointing a finger at him and grinning because he'd just won that argument…yeah…except he hadn't.

"But the fear itself isn't air—it is the seran wrap—so not all fears are elemental." I replied, and couldn't resist holding up my hand, grinning more when Sam in fact high-fived it like I was hoping he would. "You can argue that they don't want to be suffocated, but maybe it's the creepy way it clings to everything!"

Dean sighed and shook his head, smirking slightly as I checked out his torso. "So we need to find an elemental demon?"

I nodded, and then started to search the Internet for elemental demons, and all I found were sites for Charmed about Barbos, the Fear Demon. It made me laugh a little quietly, mainly because for some reason looking up demons and finding movies and TV shows reminded me of all the little, silly, random games Jen and I used to make up on hunts to keep ourselves entertained. Hunting was one of those things that Jen and I did because we could, and we rarely went far out of our way to stop something when we knew there were plenty of other hunters out there that could the job just as well or better than we could. Then I found an ancient legend about a man with black wings and an angelic face that preys on the fears of humans, and I decided that it was definitely a better bet than Barbos, so I got up and showed the Internet page to Dean and he nodded slowly.

"Does he have a name?" Dean asked me, searching the page with his eyes.

I turned the screen back to face me and shrugged, shaking my head dismally. "If he does, I'm not finding it."

Sam sighed rather loudly from his heap of nothing in front of him too. "All right…can you call Jen and ask her if she knows anything?"

I beamed at him and dialed Jen's number, closing the top of my laptop and holding up my finger to the boys, going out of the hotel room and standing in the hall. There were things I wanted to talk to her about that weren't related to the 'hunt' at all, and I certainly didn't want the boys to be aware of how perverted I was. It had been a miracle enough to get them to bring me with them, but if they caught wind that I was seriously this close to trying to coerce them into a threesome, it would all be over right then and there and I'd be headed back to Lawrence. So when Jen picked up on the other line, I beat her to the punch line without giving her time to answer or to think.

"I had to take a cold shower today because I want to sleep with both of them _really_ bad." I told her quickly, laughing the joke off and taking a deep breath. "And on another note, I was supposed to call you to ask you about a hunt Sam thinks he found but we're stuck on, Miss Research-Guru."

Jen laughed at that. "Trying to butter me up you horny little freak?"

I blushed and nodded furiously. "I'm trying to butter you up _soooo_ much."

"Well I'm in the middle of solving a case of freak fires, but I guess that I can go ahead and look something up for you since you're research-impaired." Jen told me, and I laughed with her, waiting until I heard the familiar 'hey look, I've got something' sound come from her. "Okay, I know that if you're looking for elemental fear demons, you're probably looking at a sort of shape shifter, but not an actual shape-shifter because this thing though genetically different and driven, is like a…demon mimic. You can kill them by shooting them in the heart with a silver bullet, but they need to have their bodies burned, or they'll just come back."

I nodded. "All right. Thanks, babe…I love you, Jenny, you know that?"

My best friend laughed and I knew she was nodding. "I love you too, Lan."

xxxx

Our search came to a dead end, and so we went to Wisconsin, and I called Jen, and she came and hung out with me because this was her kind of gig—it dealt with water spirits, and Jen was good with those. I pretty much just knew the basics about this case because I hadn't been focusing much lately, and so I wasn't quite sure what was going on. My brain was all jumbled because I'd taken to dreaming about the Winchester brothers, and my showers were pretty much always cold these days. Jen just joked and called me a perv all the time, except when the boys were around, and then she just called me one using her eyes instead of her mouth.

"Let's see, what do _I_ know about this case?" I repeated Jen's question and then nodded slowly. "Well the victim's name was Sophie Carlton. I talked to her brother, Will, yesterday and he said he saw something drag her into the water…he was cute, let me tell you."

Jen just giggled and shook her head. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you. Ever since you lost your virginity to the man slut, you've been a little _too_ flirty. I mean flirty, yes, you always have been, but I think some of him rubbed off on you."

"And in me." I told her, both of us laughing even though she rolled her eyes at me. "Sorry…maybe you're right…that was one sick, hilarious joke that I should have kept to myself." I leaned back into the motel couch and then focused back to the task at hand. "What did you come up with?"

"I talked to the sheriff and his daughter's son, Lucas, is pretty shaken up. You see his father was one of the victims. I came back to do some research, and I found out that there have been 3 drowning victims this year, 6 more over the last 35 years, and their bodies were never recovered." Jen explained to me as I nodded and pointed to the screen on my laptop as she showed me the webpage with some articles on it about the drownings.

"It says here that Christopher was married to Andrea, and he took Lucas out swimming; Lucas was on a floating wooden platform when Chris drowned. It took 2 hours before the kid got rescued. That has to be hard." I said sadly, making a face. "That poor kid is so completely scarred right now…this mean we have to check out the creepy lake?"

Jen nodded and I sighed, getting up to grab my coat since it was nippy out, Jen still on my laptop looking up some things as I got ready to head out. That was my Jen…_always_ researching even when we got to the point where we pretty much knew what was going on and how to deal with it. She was just one of those people that beat the horse even when it was dead—nothing was too carefully planned, too researched, or too explained as far as Jen was concerned, and I loved that we differed in that way. While she relied mostly on the facts and the logic, I relied on my gut—it's what made us such a terrific crime-fighting team…if of course, you know…we _fought_ crime…

"Lan?" Jen asked me as I handed over her coat as well and asked what was up now. "It says here Will died today—I think it's a family tie."

I sighed. "Why do the hot ones always have to bite the dust?"

Jen rolled her eyes at me but couldn't help but laugh, and then she took her coat from me and we hurried to the lake to test out whatever theory was in Jen's head right then. We got there just in time to see Bill Carlton leaving, and we saw Sam and Dean and I smiled and then decided to pretend I was more interested in the lake than in them. If I was ever going to survive Jen leaving my side and not having anyone to talk to about me being a horny perv, I was going to need to learn self control where the boys were concerned.

"Wow, it's such a pretty lake…do you two come around often?" I asked, mentally chastising myself for having to slip into a joke.

Dean smiled at me though. "Only when we know beautiful women will show up. So what brings you here finally?"

I shrugged and gazed down at the water, trying to regain my position. "I just like the scenery. Jen's the one with the answers."

It was in that moment that I looked over at Jen and saw the looks that she was giving Sam, and I suddenly realized that I was jealous. She _knew_ my dilemma, but since I always complained about how I couldn't jeopardize anything by being with either of them lately, I really couldn't complain. Still, why did she have to be interested in Sam when I was interested in Sam? Wasn't that breaking some kind of non-existent best friends code or something…liking the same guy? Whatever—I already told myself that I wasn't going to go there and so I was going to get over it.

"You swim often?" Dean asked me, and I stopped looking between Jen and Sam and looked him in the eye.

"Nah. I just think lakes are pretty." I told him with a wink, trying to mask the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Dean winked back and nodded. "Well it's a good thing you don't swim often, because otherwise you might drown. You know, there have been several people who have drowned lately—know anything about it, or is Jen keeping you in the dark about the details you refuse to learn?"

I looked at him and our hazel eyes met, and I smiled at him genuinely, telling myself for the umpteenth time that I was _not_ getting in the Winchesters' pants. We were simply hunters that were working together, and this whole different gender thing didn't have to be childish if we didn't make it that way. Dean stood a little bit closer to me and I sensed the tension in the air suddenly and smile a little, looking up and making direct eye contact with Sam, both of us sharing a quick smile before I turned my attention back to Dean.

"I am actually quite aware that there's a family connection. Jen didn't have to spell that one out for me." I told Dean with a big grin. "So what exactly brought you guys here? Working on the same part of the case as we are? I thought we split up the different parts since there were four of us."

"Scenery." Dean answered with a shrug, him and me beaming at each other.

I nodded, raising my eyebrows up and down. "Just scenery? Not the mysterious angry spirit in the lake?"

"Well that too, but we have different sources." Sam explained and then shrugged playfully. "Besides, you know Dean—he _hates_ research."

Sam and I laughed and Jen started to explain about the Carlton's and then Dean had to point out the sheriff and he was connected to, Sam nodding. Dean had to remind us that he was just as smart as Sam was, and since Jen was picking up on my annoyance that she was flirting with Sam, she decided to just focus on the hunt. I felt kind of bad being the bitch that I was being at that particular moment, and so I took a deep breath and then decided to go ahead and close this case too.

"I think you should take a look at this and tell me just how angry this spirit is." I told Jen, trying to appeal to her and her knowledge of water spirits. "Of course we can't really tell by just looking now can we?"

"Jump in it." Jen told me.

I turned to her. "So you want me to jump in, and if I don't die, it isn't just lashing out?"

Jen nodded as she shrugged a little bit. "Pretty much…yeah."

"All right. I'm trusting you because you would never let anything truly bad happen to me." I replied, and then took my shirt off, revealing a red halter swimsuit top, and then took off my pants, jumping into the water and then surfacing and wiping the water away, treading it. "How long do you want me to stay like this?"

"Longer if you actually take your clothes off." Dean smirked, Sam smacking him in the arm as I splashed him with water and Jen turned and sat down on the edge of the pier and looked at me.

"Only a couple more moments." Jen said…because if you're gonna get naked, I want to not be here to see it.

"Oh you know you want my body!" I told her as I laughed loudly, her shrugging and laughing too as Dean made a surprised and yet pleased face. "It's kind of freezing in here, Jenny…and why aren't you coming in—besides only wanting one of us in danger in case your theory flops?"

Jen shrugged and replied, "I wasn't going to take my clothes off in front of them."

Dean and I laughed, Sam joining in only softer, and after I got out of the water and started to wring my hair out, Sam came over to double check that I was okay. We were seriously in the middle of some really messed up love square, and it was started to feel kind of juvenile, so I grasped Sam's hand to let him know I was fine, and then wrapped the towel Jen handed me around myself, standing closest to Jen. This was going to be a really interesting ride for me if I stuck it out with Sam and Dean, and I was actually looking forward to it, because I still felt connected to them.

"This spirit obviously wants revenge." I told the three of them as we looked at the lake. "And not just any kind of revenge…Lucas and Jake are in some serious trouble since they're the closest relatives."

Jen sighed loudly and nodded. "We have a job to do, then. Come on, Lan, lets get you all dried off and proper to talk to Lucas' mother."

Dean and Sam nodded and headed off to talk to her, and that was when we found out that the spirit had taken Jake the next day. The spirit was none other than Peter, a young boy that Bill and Jake had accidentally killed when they were younger, and it would no longer terrorize anyone. All it wanted was its revenge and once Jake was dead, there was no one else to lash out at, and the spirit could rest in peace.

"Well I need to be getting home then." Jen told us as we all stood near the Impala. "That was fun, and I feel like I helped, and so I need to go home now."

"Why?" Sam asked her after a moment. "I mean you're a valued part of our strange new team."

Jen smiled at him and shook her head. "My parents—they expect me home soon, and I'm the only thing they have left. I have to be with them, and honestly I don't like hunting so much…I only do it when I have to cause it's close to me, or when Lan asks me to help."

Sam nodded and gave her a soft smile. "I understand."

I hugged Jen and then turned to the boys. "I'm going to see her off, and meet you back at the motel—don't turn down the covers without me."

**Note: Lana is my favorite and while originally this was a love triangle, this isn't really a love triangle anymore. Lana and Dean are my babies and they have their problems, but Sam isn't one of them and I don't want to do that to the three of them at all. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	3. Filtering Feelings

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, so this chapter is really where a lot of the bonding happens.**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I watched Dean as he slept because sleep was evading me and I was kind of a crazy stalker…I mean not really exactly but there was nothing better to do and Sam was out getting coffee. Dean was wearing boxers and a dark T-shirt, and he was absolutely adorable, his sandy brown hair all mussed up and his mouth open a little, but Dean Winchester didn't drool. I just sat on Sam's and my bed across from Dean, and looked up as Sam came in, and Dean reached under his pillow his eye opening as his senses went alert.

"Morning Sunshine!" Sam said, handing me coffee as he spoke to Dean.

I beamed at the tall, attractive Winchester and grasped the coffee cup. "Thank you."

Dean grunted and turned over. "What time is it?"

"Oh it's like 5:45." I replied, sipping my coffee happily.

Dean made a noise and looked at Sam and I surprised. "In the morning?"

"Yep." Sam replied with a nod and a shrug.

Dean looked at both Sam and I and I knew he was concerned, and he really should have been even though Sam and I were trying to hide it. Sam and I had been staying up late and talking since he kept having nightmares, and we'd started to hammer out a few things about this 'relationship' of ours. He was attracted to me, and I to him, but he was lonely since Jessica's death was still so fresh to him, and I was definitely already way too attached to the hunters that had accepted me into their lives. So, we decided that we were just friends, but I was still allowed to find him incredibly hot.

"Did you two sleep last night?" Dean asked, sitting up. "Or did you have another bonding pow-wow of talking and groping?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sam I don't sit up all night and grope each other…we sit up all night and care and share and sometimes I let him braid my hair."

Sam chuckled as Dean grinned at me and then Dena and I broke contact when Sam sat down next to me on the bed, our thighs rubbing together since he sat so close. Over the last couple weeks Dean actually hadn't seemed annoyed at all by Sam's and my closeness, but in that moment I saw the glint of jealousy in his eyes and then it was gone just like that, and he and I were making eye contact again. Sam was the one that had pointed out that he wasn't about to venture into his brother's territory and I just waved it off and gave him the same speech about them being business partners as I had given Dean.

"So you two didn't sleep then?" Dean asked us and he was slightly annoyed.

Sam chuckled and I smiled. "You know, it's nice you're concerned but—"

"—Oh I'm not concerned. You're asses are keeping me alive, so I need you both sharp." Dean told him, cocking an eyebrow.

"Dean…" I began sternly after sipping my coffee.

Dean shrugged and looked at us. "Seriously, when was the last time you got a decent night's sleep? Sam's been having nightmares, and you don't ever sleep a whole night through, Lana."

I shrugged too as Sam looked to me for support. "Sam and I can function just fine the way that we are, thank you very much. Now Sam, hand the man his coffee and explain to him that we don't spook easy."

Sam laughed and did as I said, Dean smirking at his obedience. Honestly I was already rather cozy with the two, and it was definitely the best time I'd ever had in my life. My life had been rough, and so had theirs, and our little adventure together was putting us all in rather fantastic moods, that showed through our hunting. It was nice to be able to hunt like this and not have to worry about what was going to happen when we moved on—we were always going to have each other, even if I was the new addition to the team.

"It's not just the nightmares, Dean…it's everything. I forgot about this, you know? This job gets to you." Sam admitted.

I frowned. "That is really _not_ what I told you to tell him."

Sam shrugged and nudged my ribs playfully with his elbow. "Yeah, but it's the truth."

Dean sipped his coffee. "Well you can't let it. You can't bring it home like that."

"You mean you never get afraid?" Sam asked him, me raising an eyebrow at Dean as he shrugged.

"No, not really." Dean replied as he sipped more coffee.

Sam nodded slowly as I gave Dean a look, both of us not willing to believe that he could be in this profession and _not_ let a certain amount of it get to him. Sighing, Sam reached over and slipped his hand under Dean's pillow, a little hint of tenseness rising up in Dean as he tried not to let the motion get to him. I was a little confused, but then I couldn't help but crack a smile when Sam pulled a knife out from under Dean's pillow. He then proceeded to hold it up and Dean looked for the words to say and I laughed.

"That's not fear. It's precaution." Dean said, and I giggled more as he said it.

"Whatever." Sam replied with a laugh. "I'm too tired to argue with you."

"And I'm just too tired in general." I admitted, yawning and then frowning. "Maybe we should start getting me more shots in my coffees."

Dean laughed loudly. "No thank you—you get rather cheeky when you have lots of caffeine in you, Lana."

I winked at him. "I'm cheeky all the time…coffee must flow through my veins."

Dean probably would have had some sort of comeback to say to that, but his cell phone rang and Dean leaned over to pick it up as I set up my laptop. Mostly I just wanted to see if Jen was online so that I could vent some of my much needed frustration about the tension lately out without having to talk to the boys about it, but that wasn't going to happen because she was sleeping…lucky her. I was just going to have to try and keep the flirting down, and I smiled when Dean told us that the guy on the phone was some guy that Dean and his dad helped a couple years back, and we had to get dressed and go to some plane place for a hunt.

"I'm tired." I pouted as I went to grab my jacket.

Dean leaned in, his face close to mine as he grabbed his jacket from behind me. "Well you should have slept more."

"Yeah?" I asked egging him on and practically begging for a kiss by looking at his lips.

Dean nodded and bit his lip, smirking at the desired effect that it had on me when I moaned a little and then put a cork in it. He was doing this on purpose to get a rise out of me, and I was trying so hard not to have any of it. So what if Dean Winchester was hot? So what if Sam Winchester was also hot? I was the third wheel to the hot fest, and I needed to keep my hormones under control and deal with this in a much more professional hunting way.

"I believe we have a job to do." Sam told us as he rolled his eyes a little.

I couldn't help but blush a little as Dean smiled and then we headed out in the car to meet up with the man. The man talked to us about the poltergeist that Dean and his father helped to get rid of, and then he said he was happy to see Sam because his father had talked about him a lot, and he was happy to meet me, because anyone who did our kind of work for other people was worth knowing. He took us into a room and put in a CD, telling us that he wasn't normally able to get a hold of things like this, but he thought it was up our alley.

"It's the pilot in the cockpit of the United Britannia Airlines, Flight 24-85. It was one of ours." The man said as it played.

We sat there listening, and after the man talking, we heard the scream of a being—this was definitely our thing. It certainly wasn't just some normal flight and I was rather excited that we were going to be doing a hunt. I wanted to focus on something I was good at, and try really hard to keep myself on track doing something that was going to benefit others. In fact, wasn't that the whole point of having hunters? To defeat monsters and to keep the public out of it so they could go on with their normal lives? I had simply lost my way, and now I was going to get back what I had lost.

"Jerry, we're going to need passenger manifests, a list of survivors—" Sam began.

"—and can we see the wreckage?" Dean and I asked at once.

Jerry nodded and said he could get us the rest of the stuff, but he didn't have the kind of clearance we needed to see the wreckage because everything had been locked down. Dean drove us to get fake ids, and Sam and I waited outside by the car and I realized that no matter how hard I tried, I was going to be attracted. The only difference now was that I felt a lot more in control of myself, even as I smelled the fabulous smell that was Sam Winchester because we were friends and that's all it would be.

xx

**Dean's POV**

I honestly didn't know if I was ever going to get used to there being a woman following Sam and I around and helping us with hunting. Sometimes I didn't even notice that she was there—okay, that's a lie. I _always_ knew when Lana was there and it was kind of starting to frustrate me because I felt so comfortable with her and then that feeling disarmed me. So I decided to call Jen because she was the only one I could talk to without wanting to make some kind of dirty, sexual joke.

"Dean Winchester…this is the second time that you've called me since we met." Jen said with a laugh. "What kind of research help do you want?"

I took a deep breath. "It's looking like something we can probably do, but I wanted to make sure that you're open for us to send information to."

"Lana's making eyes at Sam and it's getting in the way of work, of course," Jen responded chuckling. "Alright, well, other than some classes I have the time to help you out so…anything you need, I'm here. Within reason of course."

"Trust me, I'm not going to hit on you," I told her with a smile. "I'll e-mail you what we have right now…well, I'll have Lana do it."

I did like to give such jobs to Lana just to see the look on her face and it made me smile a little bit. At the same time I honestly meant it—I wasn't going to hit on Jen because besides chicks I needed to talk to for cases and the occasional hot waitress, I only seemed to be hitting on Lana. Maybe that was why I was feeling like I was in a bit of a funk right now. Lana was already starting to ruin my game and it hadn't even been a month yet…getting attached to her wasn't even a tiny bit okay.

**Jen's POV**

It was nice to see that Dean was definitely trying here, but I was kind of worried about my best friend because she was in a tight spot. There were things about Lana that only Lana knew, and other things that I knew but that she tried to keep a secret, that the boys certainly didn't know. Now it seemed like Dean was starting to look out for her, for reasons other than her being their hunting partner, and it was making me smile and worry all at once.

"Just keep me posted so that I know what's going on," I said with a smile.

Dean cleared his throat. "Yeah, exactly. Just want you to know how Lana is as often as possible."

"Yes, that's the only reason, I'm sure." I laughed and then shrugged. "Have Lana e-mail me and we'll talk later. Bye, Dean."

I hung up the phone and then chuckled to myself a little bit before I decided to throw caution to the wind and call up someone that I knew could help them. While I didn't entirely agree with her methods, my half sister, Kristin, was kind of a big deal and I knew that Kate wasn't just going to through everything away to come and help us. Kate Newman was Lana's cousin and a rather big deal hunter and she had her own hunts to do and two younger sisters to deal with.

"If it isn't little Jenny," Kristin said as she answered the phone. "We don't talk unless it involves a hunt anymore, so what can I do for you?"

I shrugged a little bit. "I'm just worried about Lan at the moment and while I think it's sweet that she's making ties, we both know what a big mistake that it."

"Is this because you honestly care about Lana's well being right now, or because you're still grieving over Kevin?" Kristin asked me point blank.

"I'm not doing this because I don't want her to be happy!" I exclaimed.

It was one thing to accuse me of being too protective, but to imply that I wanted Lana not to make ties because I wanted her to be miserable and alone was just unacceptable. Lana was my best friend and more than anything I wanted her to be happy and to quit hunting if that was at all possible, so Kristin was already getting on my nerves. Still, I suppose that given the way I worded things, I might have had that coming…

"I meant, are you still grieving and so you don't want Lana to grieve to…" Kristin said slowly and then she laughed. "Look, if you need me to come to you then just say the words, lil' sis."

I nodded slowly. "I need you to come here."

xx

**Lana's POV**

"So how are you?" I asked Sam honestly.

Sam shrugged and we made eye contact. "A little antsy I suppose."

I nodded. "Me too. This could be something big…but I really meant how are you with the nightmares and the coping?"

Sam nodded and smiled a little. "It's a lot easier with you here, honestly, Lan. Dean doesn't really understand it, and it's nice to know there's someone else I can talk to who you know…has a heart."

"Your brother has a heart, he just hates putting his feelings out there." I replied, and reached up to stroke his hair. "Honestly, I'm just glad I can help, Sam."

We were having a moment, and then even though Dean came out and got a look on his face that he wiped off, he came over to us. I slowly pulled my fingers out of Sam's soft locks—even though I didn't want to—and I took the fake ID that he gave me when he gave Sam one too. We both looked at the IDs and then Sam sighed and Dean gave him a look because he'd gone to lengths to get them. Still, it was kind of a place I hadn't really been before seeing as how Sam and Dean were much better at this hunting thing than I was…okay, maybe 'better' is the wrong word—they were more experienced.

"This is really illegal. Even for us." Sam said as he looked at Dean.

I took a deep breath. "So even really experienced hunters don't do this really? I thought this was hella illegal."

"Yeah, well it's something new. You know people haven't seen it a thousand times. So what do you got?" Dean asked us.

Sam and I were supposed to be looking over the cockpit recording and Sam had definitely found something—a hidden message. With further research Sam and I had found that there had been histories of demons and spirits connected to boats and planes, and we decided to visit the survivors—starting with a man named Max that was in a psychiatric hospital. They were the only sure fire way for us to figure out what was going on, and how to solve this hunt once and for all.

"You checked yourself in here, why?" Dean asked Max, but Max didn't want to talk about it.

"Can you tell us what you thought you saw? Please?" Sam asked him as Dean was being sent chastising looks for making him feel bad he was delusional—or so he said he was.

Max took a deep breath. "I saw this man with these um…eyes—these black eyes—and he um…I saw him—I thought I saw him—open the emergency hatch. But that's impossible right? I looked it up and there's like two tons of weight there."

I tried to be as sweet as possible to Max because he was so scared, and once we'd gotten all of the information out of him that we could, we headed to talk to the wife of the man that was thought to have caused the crash. His name was George Phelps and we were very certain he had been possessed by a demon, and so this was going to be one of those cases where we had to figure out the connection before it was too much. Since George was dead now, the demon was going to have to find another body to inhabit to strike again…unless it was done.

"Man, I don't care how strong you are. Even if you're on PCP, no one can open an emergency door in the middle of a flight." Dean said out loud and looked at me as I laughed. "What now, Lana?"

I waved it off as I kept laughing. "It's just that in Buffy that's what they also pin on the vampire killings."

Dean laughed too. "Yeah, you're right...and I stick by my statement."

Sam laughed loudly. "Not if you're human anyway, guys—that demon ripped off a whole door of a plane in flight."

"I really need coffee. So sorry to make you guys do this alone, but I seriously am tired, and if I don't get a pick-me-up, I might die." I told them as we began to head for the freshly widowed Mrs. Phelps' house.

Dean smirked. "Well if you wait, I could _be_ your pick-me-up."

I smirked back but shook my head. "You have a job to do. I'll help—I just need to walk to that café and get myself a latte. When I get back, I'll help you all I can…besides, Winchester…the whore isn't in right now."

Dean laughed while Sam shook his head and laughed too, me heading to the café the next block over and ordering a large latte. I paid the barista and she smiled at me and then I gave a little wave and a tip and headed back to the Impala. It seemed that Sam and Dean were done with their little talk, and I was fine with that—I had taken my sweet time to get back to think about the hunt—yeah, I know, unbelievable. Grinning, I smiled at the boys and then Dean was the first to talk to me when I got up to the car.

"We're going to the NTSP Warehouse." Dean told me with a smile.

I nodded and sipped my coffee. "Cool."

"But first we have to look the part." Sam explained.

I raised an eyebrow but agreed that we needed to dress the part—after all that had been Sam and Dean's dead giveaway when we met, and so the three of us went to 'Mort's for Style', and had to get suits. I changed in the car as Sam and Dean went inside to get some suits fitted and then I tried rather hard to fix my hair and to try and get my skirt to be longer—which probably wasn't going to happen. So I was pretty much stuck in my blouse and my short skirt, and I needed to find my heels. I got distracted from putting them on though as Sam and Dean came out in suits—let me tell you, the boys looked _amazing_ in suits.

"I look like one of the Blue's Brothers." Dean complained.

"No you don't. You look more like a seventh grader at his first dance." Sam said.

I smiled and laughed a little as I came out of the car in my white button-up blouse tucked into my black skirt that was tighter than it used to be on top of being kind of short—it stopped above my knees, and I was in the middle of pulling on the jacket that matched the skirt when Dean finished looking at himself and looked at his brother. Neither of them had noticed me yet and I was actually okay with that even though my hair was doing the flippy thing that made me look so much more attractive than I normally did. Yes, I was freaking vain, and I was kind of wanting to stand next to them and make some joke about how hot the three of us were.

"I hate these things." He said, and began towards the car, but stopped when he saw me. "Wow."

I blushed. "Oh, it's nothing. May I say you two make those suits look good?"

Dean smiled and looked me up and down. "I have to take it back—these things look great on her—the skirt is definitely the best touch of all of it I have to say…and the heels accent your legs."

"You still can't be my pick-me-up," I responded even though I was flattered.

I smiled and blushed, and then we all got into the car, and I wished I wasn't over-thinking about what it was that I could have said to him. There were so many things that I could say about his cheekiness, but at the same time I really just wanted to take the compliment…it had after all come from Dean Winchester. He had somewhat meant for it to be a compliment and maybe it had nothing to do with getting in my pants this time, and as I thought about it, Dean drove us to the warehouse and we flashed our fake ids and went to look at the wreckage. It was amazing—mainly because I'd never seen plane wreckage this close and personal before.

"What is that?" Sam asked his brother as Dean put headphones in his ears.

Dean showed it to his brother. "It's an EMF meter. It reads Electromagnetic Frequencies."

"Yeah, I know what an EMF meter is. Why does it look like a busted up walkman?" Sam asked as I giggled a little and began to walk ahead.

"Because that's what I made it out of. It's homemade." Dean said happily, smiling.

"Yeah. I can see that." Sam said, and I turned because the smile had been wiped off of Dean's face since he said it like he disapproved.

I snorted with laughter though. "Ah, honey, I'm glad you made something with your own two hands. Try it here."

Dean winked at me and my support and brought it over to the emergency door handles, and then Sam scraped off some of the stuff. It was pretty obviously not ectoplasm—it was definitely sulfur, which told us that demon possession was certainly real. W had proof now, but we heard someone coming and hid outside and ran for the car as the alarm went off. We had to jump a fence—which in a skirt sucks—and then ran the rest of the way to the car, and drove over to give the sample to Jerry.

"This stuff is covered in sulfur." Jerry told us as he looked at us.

Dean nodded slowly. "Hmm. There's not too many things that leave a sulfur residue."

"This is big—a demon possessing people to take down an airplane." I nodded as I took a deep breath, Dean nodding as well, and I took off my jacket and unbuttoned my first two buttons, making him smile over at me and I rolled my eyes, but smiled too. "It's not the coolest in here, all right?"

"You might want to button that back up—he's getting a look." Sam told me as I smiled and nodded, and buttoned up my shirt and put the jacket back on.

"Books, books, books." I said as Sam and Dean researched.

"You want to help?" Dean asked me as I randomly looked things up on the computer.

It had been a while since I had truly been in research mode, and lately Sam had been pretty much doing all of the research on his own, and I was simply helping. When Dean shot the question in my direction though, I looked at him from the bed, and agreed with Sam's idea that the Japanese were onto something thinking that each disaster happened with a demon behind it. It was big, and not our normal gig, and somehow the three of us were going to have to stop whatever was going down so that no one else got hurt.

"I wish Dad was here." Dean said, scratching his head.

"Yeah…me too." Sam replied.

I smiled at them sadly. "Hey…eventually we'll find him, we just…we have other things to do right now—other people to protect."

Sam smiled at me as I said it and I smiled back, Dean's phone ringing so he answered it and I broke the eye contact with Sam. It was one of those things now where it was really easy to connect to them, but that was as far as it was going…that was as far as I was going to let it go. We both looked at Dean as we heard that there was another plane crash, and soon Dean had us heading out to Nazareth, and I was getting hungry again because of things I wasn't really ready to reveal about myself to the Winchesters quite yet.

"All right. I'll grab the food and you two just get in the car." I told them both as I shut the top of my laptop.

"You are strange today." Dean said while Sam nodded.

Sam shut his laptop too. "Yeah…you going to be all right?"

"Guys, I'm fine." I told them softly. "I just have the appetite of a teenage boy."

I shrugged as I grabbed the food and headed out to the car, and then I went with them to get stuff from the wreckage and then we found out there was also sulfur on it when we took it back to Jerry. We found out that it was using a biblical number—40—to record death. Normally there were no survivors, and each crash happened 40 minutes in, but now—now it was going after all of the survivors of the crash we had been called out here to investigate for. Dean assured us we would make it to the airport before the next flight, but Sam was certain that even with Dean's driving we wouldn't make it because it was a five hour drive.

"We'll make it." Dean tried to tell us, but when we got there, even Dean speeding into a parking space didn't seem like it was going to help us.

"Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, Dean! We're about to walk into an airport?" He told his brother, both of them looking at each other questioningly before Dean went to the trunk of the car and then emptied himself of his weapons and then shut the trunk before turning to us.

"I feel naked." He said, and then we followed him in.

I was finding it rather packed inside the airport, and told Dean to page Amanda Walker—one of the only survivors of the last crash—and Sam agreed with me. He seemed to be doing pretty well too, except that by the end of the call, Amanda was pretty sure that it was all a prank and hung up on him. It was pretty much our plan and with Dean all upset, Sam and I were the only ones that were even thinking clearly.

"Damn it! I was so close!" Dean exclaimed.

Sam nodded and then he shrugged. "All right. It's time for plan B. We're getting on that plane."

"W—W—now, just hold on a second." Dean said and I noted that there was suddenly some fear in his voice I'd never heard before.

"Dean we have to." I protested earnestly.

"Dean, that plane is leaving with over a hundred passengers on board, and if we're right," Sam paused to quiet himself, "that plane is going to crash."

"I know." Dean told his brother, still terrified of something.

"Well, okay. Then we're getting on that plane, we need to find that demon, and exorcise it. Look, I'll get the tickets, you get whatever you can out of the car—whatever will make it through security and meet me back here in five minutes. Are you okay?" Sam asked concerned Dean was looking a little pale.

"No. Not really." Dean told him.

I studied Dean's face and tried to figure out where the sudden fear was coming from because I'd never seen him like this before. It was actually kind of attractive to see that Dean Winchester was in fact afraid of things, but at the same time Sam and I needed him to be at his best so we could get this done. So I reached out and squeezed his hand even though we were in public and he let me do just that…hold his hand.

"What is it Dean? What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Well I kind of have this problem with um—" Dean made a motion with his hand and then stopped and looked ashamed.

Sam looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Flying?"

"Well it's never really been an issue until now." Dean protested as he looked at the look on his brother's face.

Sam laughed a little. "You're joking, right?"

"Do I look like I'm joking? Why do you think I drive everywhere Sam?" Dean asked in an annoyed voice.

I didn't know why exactly I found Dean Winchester so incredibly attractive right then and there, but I was pretty sure it was the adorable look he made when he was freaked out. I knew that with some of the irrational fears I had that I had never brought up to them, I shouldn't make fun that he was afraid of planes when there was a real threat to them, but part of me was also rather wanting to laugh. Besides, wouldn't you hug Dean Winchester too if he was standing there in front of you making adorable faces and running his fingers through his hair?

Sam looked concerned. "All right. Uh—I'll go."

"What?" Dean asked him like he hadn't heard him properly and I myself was kind of wondering how that was going to work as well.

"I'll do this one on my own." Sam told him with a shrug.

"What are you, nuts? You said it yourself—the plane is going to crash." Dean said frantically as I realized I couldn't let Sam go on a plane with a demon alone.

"Look Dean, we can do it together, I can do this one by myself—I'm not seeing a third option here." Sam said in voice that was growing impatient.

I looked from Dean to Sam. "I could go with you."

"Come on! Really? Man." Dean said, physically looking nervous as ever.

He really didn't want us to go on our own, but it was pretty obvious to him at that point that we were going to do this with or without him. We didn't want to, but if Dean wasn't going to put his feet down on the plane, then I was going to have to go with Sam. It was too dangerous to let Sam go on his own when an exorcism needed to be done, and I really wanted to be there for my adorable puppy, so Dean would have to stay here on his own and be safe while Sam and I did our job.

"It's okay. I'll be there too. And I mean free peanuts—it doesn't get better than that. I'll meet you on the plane—go watch the next victim." I tried to assure Dean.

I was turning to go when Dean took my hand and I turned around and looked him in the eye. For the first time since Dean and I had met, the look in his eyes had been genuine and true…had honestly been pleading. I wanted to melt right then and there as my knees buckled a little underneath me, but tried to stay strong as his thumb ran over my hand and Sam watched us. It just felt so natural for my hand to be in his and his eyes to be locked on mine, and I couldn't stop looking at him.

"Please don't go." He told me.

I had never wanted to kiss Dean more than right then, but I decided not to and I just smiled and stepped up closer to him. He wanted someone to stay with him, but I was kind of wishing that he would see that Sam needed me on that plane with him more than he needed me on the ground with him. Deep down I knew that he knew that, but he was pretty much also being a little selfish and wanted the hot girl to himself—I _did_ mention earlier that I was a little vain, sorry.

"All right, Dean. We'll stay together on this one, but that means you have to come with us. I love flying, so let's let Sam get the tickets, and we'll meet him back here." I told him softly, his face a little closer to mine.

Sam nodded, and Dean and I got what we could out of the car and then rushed back to get on the plane. We walked down the aisle and went to pick some seats, Sam stealing the window seat, and we let Dean have the aisle seat so that I could sit in the middle between them. Dean shook just a little bit when Sam looked over at him and I took Dean's hand again and suddenly felt a little like I had before when I thought about mine and Dean's connection to each other—I felt like this was natural and something I was always meant to do…be there for him when he needed someone.

"Just try to relax." Sam told him.

"Just try to shut up." Dean shot back.

I laughed a little and then caught our flight attendant's attention. "Could I get some peanuts over here?"

"You and peanuts." Dean muttered.

"Keeps my mind off of the flight. Gum?" I asked him, but he shook his head at me. "Seriously—it'll help when your ears pop." I said.

Sam and Dean both refused the gum though, and I had to wait for the peanuts until after the plane took off. I wasn't certain what the deal was with the refusing the gum since it really did help and Dean needed all the help he could get, especially when the plane actually took off. Dean looked very uncomfortable, and since I was right there next to him to comfort him and Sam had stolen my window seat, I really only had Dean to pay attention to. For some reason I really wanted focus attention on him, and he seemed to be all right with that even though he was still really freaked out by the whole thing. He gave me a look and tried to smile but it was hidden by the fear in his eyes and he started to hum, which made Sam laugh.

"You humming Metallica?" Sam asked him, highly amused.

"Calms me down." Dean said quickly, humming some more as I smiled at him.

Sam nodded. "Look man, I get you're nervous all right, but you gotta stay focused."

"Okay." Dean answered.

"I mean we got, thirty minutes and counting to track it down and perform a full exorcism." Sam added.

"Yeah, on a crowded plane." Dean told him unhappily.

I sighed a little and nodded. "It's going to possess someone that's a little messed up—maybe mental or something."

Dean knew that Sam and I were only trying to help, but it was pretty obvious that he needed to be up and about instead of just sitting there. So he nodded vigorously and looked at Sam and I as we tried to make sure that he was actually going to be of help with this, and then Dean seemed to have his mind made up.

"I'll go check on her mental state." Dean said, looking back at Amanda.

"Let's be subtle. If she's possessed, she'll flinch at the name of God." Sam told him.

"Good one." Dean said, unbuckling and getting up.

"Hey!" Sam called in a hushed voice.

Dean stopped and leaned over a little, me glad his face was so close. "What?"

Sam looked at him hard. "Say it in Latin."

"I know." Dean told him in a rather annoyed voice.

"Okay. Hey!" Sam called again in the same hushed voice, as Dean asked him 'what' again and leaned over since his trek back there had been interrupted again. "In Latin it's 'Christo'."

"Dude, I know, I'm not an idiot!" Dean said, and got up to walk, just as there was turbulence.

I laughed a little bit and Sam and I looked back to make sure that Dean was going to be all right even though he was seriously antsy. For some reason even though I'd been flirting with both of them, it was becoming rather obvious to me as the jealousy settled in my stomach that Dean was the one I wanted to call my own. It was probably because I went and got attached to him when he broke my hymen, but he also seemed like he needed someone as much as I did, and I wanted to understand the Winchesters like no one else did…which meant to a certain extent they would need to understand me too.

"Think he's flirting with her?" I asked Sam suddenly. "She is actually rather attractive."

Sam smiled and looked at me. "He knows what to do…are you jealous?"

I rolled my eyes. "Why would I be jealous when I'm just a business partner?"

Sam really didn't believe me anymore than I believed myself, but I put on a rather practiced face and looked up as Dean came back. He didn't look as scared, but he still had that masked terror in his hazel irises and I wanted to make the pain go away, so I reached my hand out and he took it without realizing what he was doing and looked directly at Sam. It was nice…holding the strong, worn hand of the hunter in my own less experienced hand, and I swallowed as he began to speak.

"Okay, well she's got to be the most well adjusted creature on the planet." Dean said, and told us there was no demon in her or getting in her—and that meant it could be anyone—and then the turbulence got worse and Dean freaked out a little more. "Oh come on! That can't be normal!" Dean exclaimed softly.

"Hey, hey—it's just a little turbulence." Sam said calmly.

Dean's eyes flashed angrily. "Sam, this plane is going to crash okay, so quit treating me like I'm freaking four!"

"You need to calm down." Sam said softly.

"Well I'm sorry I can't!" Dean replied hostilely.

"Yes you can." Sam said calmly.

I was starting to feel the tension between the two a lot more than I had been feeling it before, and I was starting to squirm a little myself. There was no way that it was good for Dean to be freaking out this much, and Sam and I knew it and it was Sam's place to talk to him about it and not mine. Dean and Sam were practically my family now but Sam was actually Dean's brother and so I let them hash it out a little.

"Dude, stow the touchy-feely, self-help, yoga crap—it's not helping!" Dean was saying as Sam started to interrupt him.

"Dean, if you're panicked you're wide open for demonic possession so you need to calm yourself down right now." Sam said sternly but lovingly.

I nodded at Dean and he sighed. "Sam's right, Dean…just take some deep breaths—Sam and I won't let anything happen to you, and I think you know that."

I rested my head on Dean's shoulder and held his hand, stroking his skin with my fingers as Sam explained the two parts of the exorcism. First, we had to get the demon out of the body of the victim and then it would manifest and that would make it strong enough to wreak havoc on its own, and then the second part would send it back to Hell once and for all. That meant that we were going to have to figure out who the demon was going to possess and we were going to have to figure it out rather quickly.

"So are you going to be okay finding the demon?" I asked Dean as I lifted my head off of his shoulder and looked at him fondly. "I care about you, you know?"

Dean smiled and then _he_ kissed _me_, and I found the butterflies erupting in my stomach. I hadn't initiated the touching of our lips, but I definitely wasn't going to push him off just because I was set on being platonic. He was thanking me in his own 'Dean' way and I was going to let him because his lips were soft and warm, and I had wanted to kiss him so many times today. Then when he was done he had to make my stomach go insane and run his nose along mine softly and look me in the eye.

xx

**Sam's POV**

Watching Dean and Lana together kind of brought a smile to my face, and no jealous twists in my stomachs or anything. While Lana and I really enjoyed flirting with each other, it was just because she was a playful spirit and I was trying to be happy since I was so sad all the time these days. Jessica was still the only girl for me, dead or not, and so when I looked at my brother sharing a moment with Lana, it made me smile.

Maybe I shouldn't have been watching them because it could be conveyed as creepy or something, but my brother didn't get attached to people. The moment he had gotten scared, however, Lana was right there by his side and it was obvious that he didn't want her to go anywhere and I was alright with that. Besides, when we found the demon that killed our mother we would be done and maybe this way, Dean would have someone to settle down, right?

I just wanted my brother to be happy.

"I'm going to be fine, Lana…thank you." Dean whispered to her.

Lana just blushed and kissed him again. "You're welcome."

Dean closed his eyes and kissed her forehead, me smiling even more because the signs of affection were more than present between them. Even though he hadn't been fully on board with letting Lana come along because he had wanted to spend time with me and not have the 'woman' tag along, he had warmed up to her faster than I had. They bantered constantly and the sexual tension between them was obvious to anyone, so I was trying my best not to make Dean think I had intentions toward her. He and I didn't always see eye to eye, but we were seeing eye to eye on this Lana situation even if Dean didn't want to admit that something was there.

"Feeling any calmer?" Lana asked Dean as she looked him in the eye fondly.

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah…you're a nice distraction."

xx

**Lana's POV**

Dean smiled at me but stopped his hand mid-raise to stroke my hair since Sam was watching us rather closely. When the blush rose in my cheeks, Dean pulled away and suggested we look around, Dean heading around with his homemade EMF meter, and I sat in my seat, looking things up in the documents I had saved to my laptop since I couldn't access the Internet while in flight. I looked up at them a little while into our tasks and saw them in the aisle, instantly knowing that something was up and trying to figure out what it was. I got up and went over to them just in time to see a man turn as Dean said 'Christo', and his eyes were black.

"Oh sweet baby Jesus." I said and followed the boys to go and talk to Amanda.

Sam sighed loudly. "She's not going to believe this."

"There's only twelve minutes, now." Dean told him. "It's this or we all die, Sammy."

When we got back there to see the poor girl, Sam and Dean explained to Amanda that something was wrong and then she said she would help us because we seemed sincere. She went to go and get the co-pilot, and we waited for her and when she came back, Sam and Dean attacked the man to exorcise the demon, and I went to make sure that Amanda was going to be okay. This was a lot for her to take in, and the boys had just effectively attacked a man that she was pretty sure didn't deserve to be attacked…even when things started to go all supernatural on her.

"This is a lot to take in, huh?" I asked her calmly.

Amanda nodded. "I just—what are they doing?"

"Exorcising a demon." I whispered and she looked at me wide-eyed. "Yeah. Crazy. I know. But you saw what the holy water did to his body and you can't tell me that was what you would call normal."

Before we could do anymore talking, the plane began to plummet, and Amanda and I held onto things, and then I made my way back to where Dean was and I planted myself up against the wall near him. He needed some support since this was one of his greatest fears, and since it was ingrained in me practically now to watch over him, I was going to go down with him if we were going to die…but Sam finished the exorcism. Then, as the plane began to regain itself, Dean looked less like he was going to throw up, and I stroked his cheek with my hand.

"You all right?" I asked.

Dean just hugged me to him, and when he pulled away, he kissed me and though confused and surprised, I returned it and pressed my body close to his to let him know that I enjoyed the new closeness. I knew he didn't have the words yet, but I was all right with that because I felt like this was just something he and I had to deal with together and we were going to get through everything that was thrown our way. He went to look through the curtains at Sam, and then shook his head—he was very unhappy and we were all worried about what was going to be said when we got off of the plane.

xx

Lucky for us, Amanda would keep our secret, and so we began to go for the exit once we were back in an airport because Dean wanted out of here, and Sam didn't look so good because the demon had said something about Jessica. Dean told him it was all just a lie the demon came up with because demons can read minds, and Sam said he believed, but I knew part of him didn't. Demons had a way of being almost too convincing, and I had known quite a few of them personally that had a way of telling you just enough truth to get you interested and then getting away before you could get the rest of it.

Dwelling on different things, we went to talk to Jerry who was very proud of us, and then we went to go and get on with it. Sam and Dean were both wishing that their father was there and I knew I was one poor substitute for him, but that they needed me for a completely different reason—and sex had nothing to do with it. So as I leaned on the trunk of the Impala with Dean and Sam, Dean in the middle, I squeezed Dean's hand as he and Sam leaned their heads together and put Dean's phone on speaker so we could hear John's voicemail message even though Sam was certain we'd get nothing.

"This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son Dean. 866-907-3235. He can help." The message said.

Dean hung up the phone as Sam got teary eyed, and then Sam stopped leaning on the trunk of the car, and Dean sat there for a moment. I looked at him and then took Sam's spot and Dean looked over at me as Sam got into the car rather hurt and upset. Neither of them wanted to talk about how their father had reactivated his number and never tried to contact them, and I wasn't about to force them to open up about anything. I knew better than anyone else that sometimes keeping things to yourself meant that you could figure them out and explain them better later when it was a better moment to come clean—I also knew what it was like to have an absent hunter parent.

"You're never going on a plane again as long as you live, are you?" I asked him with a smile on my face.

He smiled and shook his head. "Not unless you're there with me."

I blushed a little and looked at Dean softly. "I kind of like seeing the softer side of you, you know?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Well the softness only lasts so long, Lana."

"Yeah, I'm aware." I told him with a laugh and then I stroked his cheek. "It would be nice to see it a little more when we're alone though."

Dean winked at me as I said it and we both went to get into the Impala, the voicemail on both of their minds as we headed to the nearest motel to stop off. Still rather upset, Sam headed out to grab a bite to eat and to think on his own, and I sat on the end of the bed I was going to share with Sam and I looked up at Dean and he glanced over at me as he ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't want to have a chick flick moment with me at all, but at the same time I could tell how desperately he wanted to talk about what had happened between the two of us on the plane and in the airport, and I wanted to talk about it too.

"So…you really care that much about me?" Dean asked me.

I nodded and shrugged. "Yeah…I consider you and Sam my family. I mean I know it's soon and I'm too attached but…I have you guys' backs and I know that you guys have mine. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?"

Dean nodded and walked over to me. "Yeah…but demons see getting attached as a sign of weakness. Sooner or later one of them is going to find out and use our ties against us—there is a reason I warned you not to get attached."

I stood up and put my hands in my back pockets, looking him in the eye. "Just admit that having someone else to back you up is pleasant, Dean."

Dean replied to that by kissing me, and this time I was definitely more caught off guard than any other time that I had been lip-locked by Dean Winchester. This time the kiss was needy, and the second his fingers slipped into my hair, I wrapped my arms around his neck and I found myself completely caving to him even though I'd been so sure that I wouldn't. He needed the comfort and I wanted to give it to him, even though I was so certain that I could make my way through this without getting romantically involved again…hadn't I promised myself to just be their business partner?

"What are we doing?" I asked him suddenly because I didn't know when to shut my mouth.

He smiled at me and ran his nose against mine. "I believe we're kissing."

I smiled too and kissed him again. "I meant where is this going, Dean? I mean what is this between us? Are we more than some one-night stand, or are you simply in need of a more physical release of your emotional tension?"

Dean stroked my hair. "I refuse to get mushy here, but…this is gratitude for what you did for me today, Lana…you were there for me when you could have just laughed in my face."

"Well it's not like I didn't laugh at you at one point or another." I told him playfully and giggled a little as he rolled his eyes and stopped me with a kiss. "You're welcome by the way."

Dean chuckled and the sound and the way his body shuddered when the sound rumbled out of his body pretty much made my decision for me. Besides, as his hands traveled down my sides, I pretty much found that my own body felt like it needed to be with his, so I tugged on his hair a little and felt him smile into the kiss. He slipped his fingers up a little underneath my shirt and stroked my bare stomach and I gasped a little as I felt his hand slip down into my pants and when I nodded and whispered his name in pleading he slipped his hand out and started unbuttoning his buttons.

I pulled my shirt off and undid my jeans, pushing them off and lying back on Dean's bed as Dean shed the button-up and then the t-shirt, getting his jeans off as well. Then he slipped his boxers off as I got my panties and my bra off and I smiled as he rested his naked body against mine and kissed me slowly and softly this time. I had no idea before just how caring and considerate that Dean Winchester could be, but he knew it was really only my second time and he was going to make it worth my while since I was caving to him. He knew more about me already than I thought that he had, and so when he looked me in the eye and I nodded and wrapped my legs around him, he cupped my face and kissed me, biting my bottom lip as he pushed his flesh inside of mine after a little while.

I gasped and then moaned and Dean chuckled a little and told me I was beautiful and I really couldn't do anything but give in as our bodies started to move to the same rhythm. He didn't seem to want to talk much this time like he had the first time, but it was definitely still just sex for the two of us, even though the kisses were starting to mean something a little more…even if neither of us knew what yet. This wasn't just him showing his appreciation, this was him needing a release and I was willing to give it to him because for some reason I was falling for him. Wait a second…bad confession Lana—bad.

You are not allowed to fall for Dean Winchester. Period.

"We should really shower and everything before Sam comes back." I managed to breathe out when we'd both reached the breaking point a couple times and were too exhausted to go again. "He certainly doesn't want to see _your_ naked ass when he walks in, and I think the nakedness may make him uncomfortable sleeping in the bed next to us."

Dean looked at me as his wet body rested against mine and he smiled a little. "So you're going to sleep in _my_ bed this time?"

I smiled a little at the happiness in his voice and nodded. "Unless you want me to sleep in Sam's…"

Dean shook his head and kissed me swiftly. "You're welcome in my bed any time."

"Good to know." I whispered and kissed him again because I couldn't help it and he kept it soft and caring.

Then I pulled back and the two of us went to get a shower in before Sam got back and for the first night in a very long time, I feel asleep in Dean's arms…and I felt like that was where I was supposed to be. It was a little strange, but at the same time it felt right to be snuggled up against his warm body, and I wondered suddenly what this was going to mean because Dean was right—eventually these bonds would be used against us and I didn't know if I could handle that. I didn't want to see the Winchesters hurt…which meant I was going to need to come clean to them about myself.

**Note: Oh those two. Honestly, they are just too stubborn for their own good. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	4. A Little Acceptance

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xx

Sex with Dean Winchester…sex with Dean Winchester…that's pretty much all you get out of it. I want to tell you that I woke up snuggled in his arms and feeling like it was my place to be beside him, but not so much…I woke up to Sam typing on his laptop. Dean had already gone out to bring us back some diner food, and Sam was kind of ignoring me, like he knew what had happened the night before and felt awkward asking about it. Still, I adored Sam, so I got out of the bed I'd shared with Dean the night before and sat on the edge of his.

He surprised me by looking at me and smiling that dazzling smile of his and I couldn't help but smile back at him. Turning the laptop towards me, I noticed that Sam was trying to track his father down by any means possible and I admired his persistence. The only reason that the two of them had even decided to band together again after all of these years was because John was missing, and now he seemed fine…but didn't want to be found. That didn't sit well with either Sam _or_ Dean, but Sam was more upset about it than Dean was—or at least that's how it appeared on the outside.

"I guess we keep going then, huh?" I asked him. "Where exactly did your brother go?"

Sam shrugged a little. "He was hungry. Would you like to get some coffee before we head out?"

I smiled at him. "You know me pretty damn well already don't you, Sammy?"

Honestly at first I thought Sam was going to get on my case for calling him that, and I hadn't meant to, but he seemed rather happy about it. I guess I was enough a part of their little family that I was allowed to call him by a nickname now. To be fair, Sam had been the first one to call _me_ by a nickname, and until Dean called me by one, I wouldn't be completely part of their little 'club'. If Dean and I were going to take this business partner relationship and turn it into a 'sometimes we sleep together arrangement' then he was going to have the first move in the feelings department.

"I think I know you well enough." Sam replied with a grin, Dean waltzing into the motel room rather happily.

I looked at him and laughed a little. "You nice enough to bring back food for me and Sam too?"

Dean shrugged a little. "Why wouldn't I bring you two food?"

I smiled and reached out for the bag he was handing out to me and I was honestly surprised at how easy it was to deal with Dean even after we'd slept together _again_ with no strings attached. He didn't seem too attached so that was fine, I guess, and I pointed out what Sam had been doing and after eating a bit we got back on the road to look for John some more and after a few hours ended up at some coffee place. It was definitely mostly my idea to stop there because I was jonesing for my caffeine fix, and Sam was researching while Dean watched me.

Honestly Dean watching me made me feel pretty good about myself, but at the same time I was kind of wondering about what this meant about us…_if_ it meant anything at all about us. There wasn't actually an 'us' as far as Dean was concerned, and so we pretty much didn't speak about things unless we were joking with each other. It was odd, but he really was becoming one of my best friends—that I occasionally thought about naked.

Good and awkward friends to have, I tell you.

"Those things are really fattening." Dean told me, pointing at my caramel frappachino as I smiled at him and sipped it.

"Well guess what…I like them, and I've been drinking them for forever and as you very well know, I'm not fat yet." I replied with a smirk and a shrug.

Dean smirked back. "You definitely aren't."

"And you know something else? Alcohol is more fattening." I told him playfully knowing that beer was really Dean's drink of choice. "I mean if you drink it all the time."

Dean smiled and laughed a little. "Well the sex is much more enjoyable sober, so that can easily be remedied."

"Someone thinks we're going to sleep together again."

"Haven't we already?"

I laughed a little with him too as he winked and then let it go, and I looked back down at the newspaper in front of me and tried to focus. Mostly I wanted to focus on anything other then Dean's infectious grin, but I couldn't seem to until Sam came over to us and that reminded me that we had a job to do here. Dean looked up at him when I did and we both grinned at Sam, Sam smiling at me mostly, which I understood—he knew that his suspicions about my intentions with his brother had been right. Sam pulled out his chair and Dean let out a chuckle, both Sam and I knowing that a joke was coming.

"Your half cafe vanilla latte is getting cold, Francis." Dean told Sam with a grin.

"Next time, give me a gender _appropriate_ badge." Sam told his brother in a huff as I held in a laugh.

Dean shrugged as he smiled. "It's more fun to go after the ladies."

"Yeah, fun for you." Sam said dismally, plopping down in his chair.

I waved it off. "Just ignore him, Sammy—did you find anything?"

It was the first time I had called Sam 'Sammy' in front of Dean and he did a double take just like I thought he would. He was the only one that Sam let get away with the nickname before I came along, and now I was allowed to call him by the affectionate name and Dean didn't know how to take it. At first I was fairly certain that he was now convinced that Sam and I were together or something, but soon the look was wiped off of his face and all attention was on Sam. That was Dean Winchester for you—moving on so fast you were still registering when he was already over it.

"I've checked the FBI databank: no John Doe fitting Dad's description. I even ran his plates for traffic violations." Sam explained dismally.

"I'm telling you, Sam, I don't think Dad wants to be found." Dean told him. "If we can't track him down, then there's no telling what lengths he's going to, to keep his distance."

"But why? I mean what's he doing? What if—he's in trouble? What if he needs our help?" Sam asked helplessly.

I reached over and took Sam's hand. "When we find a lead on him then we'll follow it. However, if we can't find anything before then, then it's probably best to—"

"—Yeah, I know. People to save, Evil to hunt." Sam told us with a sigh.

I nodded and turned my laptop towards him. "For instance, this. From Iowa—about 100 miles from here."

Sam looked at me and squeezed my hand before letting it go and focusing his attention on my laptop when Dean cleared his throat. The three of us were rather used to the new arrangement, but at the same time they still did things that surprised me sometimes. Like now for instance, Dean giving me a look and then instantly wiping the look off of his face when he realized I was looking at him and it dawned on me—I was already getting under their skin. Vain assumption, yes, but the behavior wasn't _that_ hard to read.

xx

**Dean's POV**

I was trying really hard not to let Lana catch on that I was totally into her right now, but it was kind of hard. She was just so close to Sam and while I wasn't in love and I wasn't going to be her boyfriend, I thought that our little arrangement had changed last night and suddenly she was all over Sam. It wasn't like I owned her or anything, but it was kind of bothering me that she seemed to be so close to him when I thought something was happening.

Then again, I'd been wrong about things before.

"Mutilated body found near victim's cars parked on a 9-mile road. Interesting." Sam read out loud and then looked at Lana and I skeptically. "What, for us? Really?"

"Keep reading." Lana and I persisted.

Sam nodded slowly. "Authorities are unable to put together a realistic description of the killer. The sole witness, whose name has been withheld, is described as distraught. She is quoted as saying the attacker was invisible."

"Could be interesting." I said as Lana said, "Death may equal case."

Sam laughed a little as he nodded. "Or it could be nothing at all. One freaked out witness who didn't see anything doesn't mean it's the Invisible Man."

I shrugged cavalierly. "But what if it is? Dad would check it out…can we?"

I could tell that Sam wasn't in the happiest mood ever that I would bring up that our father would do it, but it certainly caught his attention. So he nodded and looked over more of the information and we decided that it was only best to go to the college and pose as college students so we could find a way to talk to the reverend and his daughter that attended the university. That was where this particular hunt started to get kind of…personal and strange.

"We can say we're here for the fraternity, and she can say she's here for the sorority." I said with a shrug. "I mean it settles everything."

Lana gave me a look. "So you're sending me off by myself while the two of you get to stick together?"

I sighed, and set my hand on hers. "You'll be fine."

xx

**Lana's POV**

I rolled my eyes at him and then we finished up our little coffee break and got back into the Impala to drive to the university. When we got there, we talked to the people there, and said we were new transfer students. Before I could even get anything out story wise, Sam explained that the three of us were siblings, and after the loss of our parents we really wanted to go to the same school to spend time together. Dean grumbled and I wasn't too happy to not to get to flirt with the boys while I was there, but I sucked it up and decided to deal with it. After all, maybe it was time that I started acting more like a partner and less like I wanted to be a love interest.

One of the girls we talked to was really excited to let me into the sorority, and wanted to give me a tour, and Dean was eying her. At least when Sam checked people out he was rather subtle about it, but the truth was that Dean was about as subtle as a peacock. So I had to actually go _inside_ the sorority in order to talk to the girls in there without having to deal with the boys—without having to deal with Dean making a fool of himself. As funny as _that_ was, I just wasn't in the mood to watch him flirt with other people.

"So I heard a guy died a few days ago." I said after I introduced myself inside the sorority to some of the girls.

The one showing me around nodded sadly. "Yeah. It's terribly sad. And get this—the eye witness was the Preacher's daughter, Lori."

I made a concerned face. "That's gotta be rough, and I feel like I should go and give her my condolences…would you happen to know which church?"

She was surprised at first but then genuinely seemed to think that I actually _was_ the nice person I was pretending to be, and told me the name of the church. Once I got the address from her, I hurried out of the room and then I went outside and ran into the guy who had been eying me the whole time Sam, Dean and I had been coming up with our alibis before, and I smiled an awkward smile. It wasn't that he wasn't attractive at all…it was that for some reason I didn't want to flirt with anyone but Dean right now…that was definitely going to be a problem. Stop with the bad confessions, Lana!

"Hey." I told him, trying to be accommodating and trying to ignore my inner confessions.

He smiled at me. "Hi. So…what made you pick our university?"

I was about to come up with some random story off the top of my head, but Sam and Dean came up behind him and those two were rather intimidating. It really didn't matter if they weren't my boyfriends or anything like that—if I was actually their sister then it was probably a good idea not to touch their sister if they wanted to keep all of their limbs. The look on Dean's face was priceless as the guy made up an excuse and left and I couldn't help but just wish that I had it in me to flirt with someone _not_ a Winchester for crying out loud! Why couldn't I have my own fun too?

"I could totally have scored." I said in an annoyed voice.

Dean frowned. "You were honestly into that? That scrawny thing with the bad hair?"

Sam punched Dean in the shoulder. "He was actually kind of attractive and if Lan wants to flirt with someone legal, you should let her—it's not like you don't hit on much uglier waitresses."

I beamed at Sam and then turned to Dean and shrugged. "See? I don't ruin _your_ fun."

"Whatever." Dean replied, and reached out to stroke my hair a little, making me a little weak in the knees and I had to push his hand away slowly.

"We have a job to do and looking at your sister lovingly is a little creepy." I told him, but smiled at him so he knew I wasn't _completely_ shutting him down.

Then we went to go to the church and got in there late and all sat next to each other as we sat down and listened to the rest of the sermon. I kind of enjoyed being in the church atmosphere again since it had been quite a while for me, but Dean looked rather uncomfortable and I guess I couldn't blame him. When the sermon was over, we went outside and met the preacher and his daughter, of whom was already making eyes at Sam and the fact that even Dean seemed to think Lori was hot was making me upset so I was more than happy for the three of us to head to the library.

"What do you think?" Sam asked as we went into the library, referring to our conversations with the preacher and Lori.

"Lori's hot." Dean said with a chuckle.

"Excuse me?" I asked stopping suddenly and realizing what words I had let come out of my mouth.

Dean looked at me and raised an eyebrow while he smirked. "Is someone jealous, perhaps?"

I rolled my eyes. "What? No—I just think it's really inconsiderate to be hitting on a girl whose boyfriend just died."

"It's the classic Hook Man." Sam said, trying to change the subject as Dean and I gave each other awkward looks.

I composed myself though. "It makes sense. I mean the sharp instrument used in the killing, and everything…can we research a little more and take care of this, please?"

I knew that I wasn't very good at hiding the jealousy that I was feeling, and I was a lot harder on myself than the boys were hard on me. For some reason it was just too hard to keep my head around them and I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do if I couldn't get a handle on myself. This was too much, and all of the annoyance with myself and the caffeine crash made me fall asleep in the back of the Impala, waking up to Dean holding me, stroking my hair. I laid there for a moment enjoying the smell of leather, gunpowder and coffee, but then I realized what I was doing and pulled away from him and sat up, my arms crossed over my chest.

"Well someone is grumpy." Dean told me with a light chuckle.

I knew he was trying to be playful but I wasn't in the mood. "So where is Sammy?"

Dean cleared his throat and stopped smiling. "He's grabbing a couple things right now figuring some things out. So…honestly, Lana…are you into Sam?"

I gave him a look and reached for my laptop. "I believe I said once that I wasn't into either of you."

"Yeah, but that was before." Dean told me, looking me over. "You know…before everything."

"You mean before I slept with you again?" I asked him softly.

Dean and I sat there in silence for a little while and he just nodded and looked at the front seats of the car and I swallowed. I wanted there to be a little more from him on his part so I knew that I could trust him—I was pretty sure that I couldn't, and that was the worst part about all of it. I could totally trust him to protect me from monsters, and to have my back so I wouldn't get my ass murdered out here in the unknown, but with my feelings? How could you trust someone who didn't respect women? For now Dean and I had the physical down, but the emotional was something I would need and he wasn't willing to give it to me.

"Never mind, it doesn't matter. We're going to go and look at the source, so how about you try and find something else before Sam gets back, all right?" Dean asked me.

That was another thing about Dean Winchester—unless you got him drunk enough and alone enough to pretend to care, he shut down the emotional things. He thought it was rather macho not to talk about feelings, but I thought it was a lot manlier _to_ at least _address_ his feelings. If he and I were going to survive each other, then we were going to need to get our acts completely together and figure out like responsible adults how we were going to survive each other _without_ the sex. It was just one of those things that we were going to have to deal with…if Dean would be mature enough to deal with it with me…that was what I needed to find out.

"Does it occur to you that maybe we rushed into this?" I asked him suddenly.

Dean turned to look at me and we made eye contact. "What do you mean by that?"

I shrugged a little. "I mean if I hadn't been so persistent and just let you and Sam leave you never would have had to deal with me."

"Yeah, but it's honestly more fun with you around to be a mediator." Dean told me, smiling a little. "And you have to admit that you love hanging out with us adorable Winchesters."

I rolled my eyes as he wiggled his eyebrows. "Come on, Dean, I'm being serious here. I mean I could have just been a one-night stand for you and this could be you and Sam with no third wheel. I mean sure you're occasionally apparently getting sex out of it, but…I just…I think I'm jealous."

I bit my lip as Dean looked at me and then he scooted closer to me and I felt the butterflies again. This was hard, and I was trying to be strong, but how do you say 'no' to a guy that smells fantastic, has beautiful hazel eyes, sexy hair, and a grin that's to die for? How do you say 'no' to a guy that is willing to stroke your hair while you sleep as long as no one has to see the two of you in public? Honestly…if you have pointers for me, thanks, I'd love to take them.

"What are you jealous about?" Dean asked me, egging me on as he looked at my lips.

I swallowed and I knew he saw it. "I want to go with you guys to go to the source of it all."

Dean nodded a little, still looking at my lips, his face a little closer. "It'll be really dangerous."

I laughed awkwardly. "Like when would _that_ stop me? I can really handle myself and you know that."

"Fine, but you have to stay near me at all times." Dean replied, his gaze unwavering as he looked at my mouth.

Every time I bit my lip, the corner of his mouth would turn up into a rather satisfied smirk, and he seemed rather happy with the feelings he was making course through me. All he had to do was sit close to me and breathe on me while talking to me like he cared—which I knew on some level he did—and I was practically putty in his hands. It didn't matter to me in that moment that one day I could wake up and he'd be gone for good…I just wanted Dean Winchester to come out and admit some things and then kiss me for Christ's sakes! What exactly was he waiting for? A verbal invitation?

"You worry too much." I told him, and then I went for it.

I wasn't planning on it, but he was practically breathing down my neck and it bothered me and I had to act. What the Hell was wrong with him anyway? If he wanted me so badly then why wasn't he making a commitment? Or was he simply trying to get a rise out of me? He was definitely succeeding if it was a rise he was trying to get out of me because I was kissing him and he was kissing me back, his fingers already in my hair. I moved to get onto his lap but then I stopped and pulled away and he looked rather confused, and I was confused too because for once my brain was working more than my body.

"Any random kid on campus could walk by and see us making out and we're technically related." I told him, tucking my hair behind my ears.

Dean looked at me and laughed a little. "So we're a close family, whatever. We'll be leaving right after this hunt anyway."

I raised an eyebrow and placed my palm on his chest as he moved to kiss me again. "You may not care about it, but I dunno, it's a little weird."

Dean gave me a look. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." I replied, and Dean just held his hands up in the air and I moved away from him as Sam came back to the car.

I was trying so hard not to be a tease, and I tried to wave it all off as we went out to the place where the boy was killed, and while the boys sported the weapons, I just walked along with them. I knew I should have toted a weapon, but I was pretty sure we weren't going to find anything—blame my feelings—and it turned out we _didn't_ run into anything except a sheriff who took us in. Dean came up with a story about how we were just trying to haze Sam and Dean had brought me along to impress me because I was his girlfriend—step up from sister, I'll tell you that.

The sheriff actually bought the story, and he let us go and we tried to figure out what we were going to do next—especially since another murder had just happened. We had gotten up early to check on things and to see how Lori was—Sam's idea—and found out that Lori's girlfriend had been murdered the night before, which almost linked Lori to the murders. Her boyfriend, then her roommate? In this line of work there was really no such thing as coincidences, even if she seemed way too sweet and innocent to be a murderer.

"Think we'll get to see a naked pillow fight?" Dean asked suddenly as he, Sam and I were trying to sneak into a building to figure out some more information about what was going down and how to stop it.

I laughed loudly. "Wow…that is such a Dean Winchester thing to say, isn't it?"

Dean shrugged. "You just don't understand the hotness of a naked pillow fight."

"Who says?" I asked him loudly. "What if I enjoy them as much as you do? You are so sexist sometimes, Dean."

Dean smirked at me as Sam hopped up to get into the room where Lori's roommate was murdered. "Well aren't you just full of surprises?"

I rolled my eyes and Sam reached his hand down so that I could get into the room too, Dean helping me up from below. If I had been more upset with him I would have gotten upset with him for palming my ass, but I let it go and the three of us looked around the crime scene to figure out what happened. I was the first to find the symbol, and I waved the boys over, pointing to it, Sam showing up to it first.

"We are definitely dealing with the Hook Man." I told them.

Sam sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah…yeah we are. I'm going to go and check on Lori since the murders seem to be happening around her, and you two go to the graveyard and do what we do best."

"Yay for burning remains!" I told them with faked enthusiasm.

Sam smiled at me and then we parted ways that night, Dean and I going to find the gravestone and burn the bones of the Hook Man, burying his remains with salt. We were walking in the graveyard, and it was dark, and all together scary. Normally graveyards didn't have this kind of effect on me, but for some reason tonight it was just so much weirder than normal, and I wasn't sure how to handle it. Tack on the fact that I couldn't stop looking at Dean's ass and you've got yourself the source of the damn problem.

"I hate this." I said out loud since the silence was killing me. "I really hate graveyards."

Dean smiled at me. "Well, I'm here to protect you."

"Right, because I need the protection _so_ much. How about you just dig and I'll cheer you on?" I asked him with a big fake smile.

Dean frowned, and then we found the grave and he started digging…yes without my help. I was being the lookout, and it was kind of bothering him that I was being so hot and cold with him and I completely understood that. Perhaps if I just went into full-on 'flirt with the Winchesters' mode it would make all of our lives that much easier…no that would probably make things that much harder. Flirting never made _anything_ easier, and I had learned that the hard way many, many years ago and would rather not repeat that…that and a lot of my not so amazing past.

"I get stuck digging the grave while Sam gets to hang out with the hot chick." Dean complained.

I knew he was mumbling it so that I wouldn't hear, but it was pitch black and it was silent except for some night sounds so maybe he _knew_ I'd hear it. Besides what the Hell did he mean by that? I knew it was my vanity that made me find myself rather hot, but what the mother-loving fuck? Honestly if it upset him this much to be paired up with me then why hadn't he simply argued over the positions with Sam and gone off to stalk the hot college girl and made Sam hang out with me, the ugly one, in a graveyard?

"Nice to know you appreciate my looks." I told Dean, looking down at him in the grave.

Dean sighed loudly and looked up at me. "Lana, I didn't mean it like that and you know it—you're one of the most attractive women I've ever met, I just…Sam has the easy job."

I shrugged it off. "Maybe that just means you get more man points this time."

Dean smiled up at me as he crawled out of the grave, and then lit the match and dropped it onto the bones. They went up into flames and we watched them burn in silence, Dean dumping the salt onto them and then setting to cover it all back up as I watched him and tried to figure out what to say next. I wanted Dean and I to be good friends and at this point it seemed to me that the two of us would never really be friends—not the conventional meaning of it anyway.

"You're kind of hot when you're shoveling." I told Dean with a shrug as he finished up what he was doing.

He chuckled and looked at me. "Oh yeah? Wish I could say the same for you…but you didn't do any work."

I laughed loudly. "Yeah, I know. Look at you though! You're sporting some serious dirt!"

Dean rolled his eyes and kissed me, and I found myself for the first time simply accepting that this was how things were going to be with us. The two of us were pretty much going to flirt with each other and yell at each other, and sometimes sleep with each other. It was something I was finally on board with, and I loved that for a moment I actually felt like Dean cared enough to make the kiss soft and caring. Before he had just been getting me in the mood because he was a master of the bedroom, but this was different—this time he didn't have to.

"We should find Sammy." I told him, pulling away. "I mean as much as I'd like to make out with you covered in dirt and sweat in the middle of dead people, there's things we need to get done."

Dean nodded and stroked my hair. "You make sense, Meckenzie."

"I know I do, Winchester. Let's go." I told him, and though surprised when he took my hand, I grasped his back, and we headed to see Sam.

Sam called us and let us know that Lori's father had been attacked, and that the Hook Man was most definitely connected to Lori and what Lori found to be immoral. Her boyfriend tried to get too far with her, her roommate was kind of easy and trying to get Lori to change, and Lori's father was having an affair. So Dean and I hurried to be by Sam's side while he was in the hospital with Lori and her father, and had to tell the cops that we were Sam's brother and sister—yeah…we were back to _that_.

The talk with Sam pretty much led us to believe that there was something in the church tying the spirit here that we needed to find, so Sam went to check on Lori who had left to go to the church to pray. Dean and I watched him go and followed slowly, both of us trying to figure out how to define this new arrangement we'd reached and yet not really wanting too. At this point, with no label, it was easier to get out of it later when I pulled back away from him.

"They have an attraction." I told Dean in the silence.

Dean smiled a little. "Like ours?"

I smirked and then laughed and shook my head. "Not like ours. Theirs is based on more than just sex and kissing the other one to get a rise out of them."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, well…that just means ours is way more fun to test out than theirs is, don't you agree?"

"I have to concur." I told him with a laugh and then pointed towards the church. "We should prolly go waste a ghost."

"How do we know you and I didn't kill it _after_ it attacked her father?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged because I honestly _didn't_ know, but as always seemed to happen to us in our profession, the Hook Man was alive—that and my gut feelings were pretty much never wrong and I meant _never_. We were desperately trying to scramble around to figure out what we needed to burn, Dean making rather nice shots with the shotgun, and then I saw it, around her neck—what if it was connected to Lori because part she wore part of him around her neck in the form of a cross? That could work, right?

"I thought you burned the silver!" Sam cried out to Dean.

"Obviously we missed something!" Dean replied angrily.

I nodded and pointed to the necklace around Lori's neck. "Where did you get that?"

"My father. He said it was a church heirloom!" Lori replied in a scared voice.

I nodded, and Sam took the necklace from her and handed it to me as the Hook Man began to scratch through the walls. Since it had to be burned, I tossed the necklace into the fire, and the Hook Man melted and burned before us, and I smiled. I had pretty much just proved that I as a vital part of the team, and that in itself made me more confident about my decision to stay. Then the ambulances came and Dean and I talked to the cops while Sam made sure that Lori was all right.

"So you saw him?" The cop asked us.

Dean and I nodded and Dean replied. "Yeah I saw him. We all saw him. We fought him off and he freaked out and ran."

The cop listened and when I nodded, he looked around and sighed. "Look, you two and your brother—"

"—oh don't worry, we're leaving town." Dean told him.

I nodded, and followed after Dean, smiling at Sam and Lori as she went up to Sam and checked on the arm the Hook Man had scratched. Mostly I wanted to check on Sam's arm, but I knew that with the way they had bonded without me—which yes, I was a little jealous of—it was really her place to do it, and Sam needed a girl who could focus sole attention on him…not one who kind of slept with his brother sometimes and was only interested in having am 'I-get-to-flirt-with-you-but-we're-platonic' relationship with him. So, I got in the back seat as Dean got into the driver's seat of the Impala, and I opened up my laptop.

"They're definitely attracted—it's a pure attraction." Dean told me.

I smiled up at him. "Our attraction is pure as well—at least _I_ think it is."

Dean shrugged a little. "You also think we need more. Don't deny it either, because well…I know girls like you."

I laughed and nodded. "I think that sentence is _all_ an understatement, honestly. I am also offended that you actually just said 'girls like you'."

Dean laughed a little himself and nodded, then dropped the subject and watched Sam's interaction with Lori in the mirror on the side of the car. He kind of wanted Sam to be happy and I could tell that, but at the same time he wanted Sam to be aware like I was, that attachments were bad and that was just the way things were in our lives. Still, Dean smiled at the sight, and then Sam got in the car and he looked down, and Dean looked over to him and then in the rearview mirror and sighed.

"We could stay." Dean told him.

Sam shook his head slowly though, and then Dean started the car and we began to drive off. It became clear to me right then and there that the three of us really needed to take some time for ourselves and stop being so selfless. I mean our job was incredibly important, but so was actually having some semblance of a life. Even if the life wasn't incredibly wonderful, we owed it to ourselves to have a _little_ fun.

"Anyone want to take a little vacation before we move on to the next monster before we find your dad?" I asked them out of the blue.

"What did you have in mind?" Sam asked me with a small laugh.

I shrugged a little bit. "A beach or something. I just think that we could use some sort of fun for a few days."

Sam turned to me and smiled. "All right. I think we could do that if we only took off like two days."

"Seriously? I thought you were incredibly set on saving dad." Dean told him, raising an eyebrow that Sam seemed to always cave to me.

Sam smiled and nodded. "We can still find and save dad…we just get to take a little break…like Lan said, Dean: we could use some sort of fun."

**Note: I apologize again for re-writing when there were 84 chapters already, but yeah. This is fun and the next chapter was a lot of fun for me too. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	5. Under Your Skin

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

I was busy e-mailing Jen late in the afternoon at the beach when Sam showed up and sat behind me, peering over my shoulder. He had been rather excited honestly that I had mentioned taking a break, because we both needed to get our thoughts sorted out, and I was pretty certain that the two of us were at the same area for now as far as thoughts were concerned. I pointed to the e-mail and Sam rolled his eyes and placed a quick kiss to my cheek because he wasn't going to _read_ over my shoulder—that was a Dean thing to do.

"So does she miss you yet?" Sam asked me, his chin resting in the dip in my shoulder near my neck.

I smiled at our friendship. "She misses me _all_ the time, Sammy."

Sam chuckled and his breath tickled my ear. "Is that so, Lan? Well I can't say I blame her—your company is rather welcome."

"Don't I know it?" I replied with a cheeky smile and nuzzled my face against his for a moment before I sent the e-mail off and shifted to face him. "So what's on the agenda for today?"

I have to tell you right now, that Sam was spending the most time with me because Dean was acting as if he didn't care. He still thought that Sam and I were starting up some kind of relationship, but Sam and I were just friends and that's the way that it was—we were becoming very close, but it wasn't about romance with us…just about company. I liked it though. I liked being this close to Sam and I loved that I got to still see Dean, but I was wondering where we all stood and what everything meant. Dean was right: I was that kind of girl.

"So, on this vacation that you've laid all out for us, why are you e-mailing people?" Sam asked me as he pulled back and sat down. "There are plenty of other things you can do on a beach, now isn't there?"

I smiled and glanced at Sam. "You mean like hit on the life guards and tan?"

Sam laughed and I laughed too. "You could watch Dean and I try new things too…when you're not hitting on the lifeguard and focusing on your tan."

I rolled my eyes and then made eye contact with him. "Something new like what exactly? Isn't Dean hitting on girls with small bikinis that are easy?"

"Yeah, but he told one he could surf." Sam replied with a shrug.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing when I had heard that, but for some reason it really didn't surprise me in the slightest. Dean was always coming up with really farfetched stories to pick up easy women, and since we were at a beach, it only made so much sense that he would try and use surfing as one. Now I wanted him to reap what he was sewing—I wanted to see Dean Winchester try and surf, and I wanted to see it more than almost anything. Mostly, I just wanted to see who exactly this girl was that Dean was hitting on that was worth such a ridiculous lie.

"All right, lets go see how the Winchesters do at surfing." I told Sam with a large grin. "So which beach babe is it? The redhead with the rack that stayed all day yesterday to see him and made him extend our vaca a day? Or some new conquest?"

"The redhead with the rack and her friend." Sam replied.

I laughed loudly. "Well of course, it's for _two_ easy beach chicks."

I grabbed my laptop and my towel and went with Sam to go down to the beach to where Dean was chatting it up with two rather attractive women, and Sam reached out to stroke my hair. He was anticipating my jealousy, but honestly it was a Dean thing to do—flirt—and I was pretending to be all right with it. I have to say too that seeing the Winchester boys without their shirts on was rather nice to see, and I was certain the girls Dean was hitting on were rather excited to see the lean muscled Winchester…and one seemed to like Sam too.

I don't know how I felt about being the third wheel suddenly.

Sam was definitely more toned than Dean was, and had more muscle, but they were both appealing for different reasons. I pulled off my t-shirt and shimmied off my jean shorts as the two went to grab some surf boards, Dean checking me out when he and Sam came back and I let my hair down out of its ponytail and gave Sam a swat on the ass as the two turned to go. I smiled after them as they lay on their boards and paddling out to catch a wave, and then took a seat next to the redhead with the rack, and her blonde friend who looked just as easy.

xx

**Dean's POV**

Hitting on other girls was what was getting me through—I mean it was always what I did and Lana had suggested the vacation and then decided to spend her time with Sam. It wasn't supposed to bother me and if anyone asked, it didn't, so I was focusing all of my attention on the redhead and now her friend and then Lana had to show up. She had to show up and be wearing that same outfit that she had been wearing when we were working on the case with Lucas and his mother and I just…she looked so good.

There was no reason why I should be feeling like this. I knew that I had it in me to feel like this even though I had shut those feelings off since the last time, but right now I couldn't help but think about Lana even though I was supposed to be figuring out a way to get laid by someone else. Was that even what I wanted? I mean yeah, it was nice to keep having Lana around to banter with and all of that, but at the same time I felt like I was already getting far too attached to her and that was a bad thing.

So I decided to focus on this whole surfing thing even though I didn't know how to do it—it was about making an impression. It was also about balance and I could do the balance thing just fine if I tried, right? I honestly didn't think that it could be so bad and I wanted so desperately to be back to how I was: that guy that had fun all the time and damn the consequences because fun was worth it.

"You sure about this?" Sam asked me.

I laughed a little bit as the water ran along us. "Yeah. This isn't hard."

"Um, yeah it is," Sam said with a chuckled. "This is _surfing_…it's not like you can just pick it up. It takes a certain amount of talent."

"Just try and sell it, Sammy," Dean said gently.

"Is this for them…or Lana?" Sam asked me suddenly.

For a moment I just gave him a look, but we both knew even though I didn't say it that this was more for Lana.

xx

**Lana's POV**

"That one with the build is fine." I heard the redhead behind me say about Dean.

"I agree." The blonde replied. "Though the other guy is cute too—definitely toned."

The redhead shrugged. "I'm partial to the one with the hot ass."

"So either of them will do then?" I asked her with a small laugh.

They smiled at me and nodded as we laughed, and I turned around to look at Sam and Dean as they both stood up and tried to ride the wave but Dean fell off. I couldn't help but laugh loudly at how well Sam was catching on compared to Dean, and the girls behind me seemed to be even more turned on by the fact that Dean had lied to impress them. Remember when I said that Dean went after easy girls? It was starting to seem to me like Dean would have to go _off_ of my radar…I didn't want to be easy.

What I wanted, was for Dean to realize that women with more substance were allowed to get close too. That hadn't been the message that I was sending either because his touch sent my senses on overload and I caved to him all the time and maybe I _was _easy. Maybe I needed to change the game so that Dean saw me as more than just another girl he could have his way with whenever he wanted to.

"It's so cute that he can't surf!" The redhead exclaimed.

I laughed a little bit. "Yeah, it _is_ a little cute, but check out the one with the amazing ass."

"Is he your boyfriend?" The blonde one asked me. "I couldn't help but notice how you tapped his ass as they left."

"I'm Lana and no, he's just my friend—the ass tap is just an endearing thing, he is not my boyfriend." I told them, holding out my hand. "It's up in the air about the other one, though."

The girls nodded and introduced themselves—the redhead was Lynn and the blonde was Courtney. The redhead was hoping to get lucky with Dean even though I'd just practically said that I was into him, and I was pretty sure she would at this point if she didn't mind the lying, and if the blonde was willing to share him, Dean would have himself a party. I personally just wanted this to be over now that I was thinking about Dean having a potential threesome, but I slapped a smile on my face when I turned to see them coming back, the girls flocked to Dean as he dripped wet, Sam getting all of my attention.

"Well someone certainly doesn't suck at surfing." I told Sam, reaching up and shaking the water out of his hair. "Nice job and I think we may have the place to ourselves tonight, because he might be getting lucky with not just one but two ladies tonight."

Sam chortled. "Oh because they're such ladies."

I scrunched up my nose. "You're right…why in the world would _they_ be constituted as ladies—they're far too easy."

"Far too." Sam chorused, and we grinned at each other before turning to Dean and watching him deal with his instant popularity.

It made me rather happy actually to see the guy getting the attention thrown at him that he wanted so badly, but my stomach was churning. It wasn't a sick turning like I was going to throw up or anything, but it was a jealous churning and I knew that…so I tried to focus on something else when Sam took my hand and excused us. We were both pretty certain that Dean was going to get himself one wild night—if not two—and Sam and I were going to spend some time getting to know each other better. Neither of us really paid any attention to any of the faces Dean might have made at us walking away from him hand in hand, and I'd be lying if I said we were really thinking about it right that second—we were too busy laughing at how easily Dean got skirt. Well…I was trying to be okay with it and just laughed too.

xx

**Dean's POV**

Honestly, I was wondering what was going on when Sam led Lana off hand in hand but I was supposed to be focused on Lynn and Courtney. I was supposed to be showing off for them and yet for a moment I was stumbling over myself—not literally but figuratively and I cursed Lana mentally for being under my skin. It was strange because a woman hadn't gotten to me this bad since Cassie…

"She's a firecracker—I think she's into him," Lynn said as she ran her fingers through her red hair. "They left hand in hand."

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah, well…far as I knew they were both just friends. She's not that kind of girl."

"That why you're here?" Courtney asked him with a raised eyebrow. "You can't get with her so you're casting that net nice and wide to pick up something else?"

"Did you just compare Lana to a fish and me to a fisherman?" I asked them slowly.

I don't know why I was so upset about it, but there was something in my gut that was telling me that these girls weren't worth my time. Maybe worth the time of the man that everyone saw and maybe that man was me…maybe what was bothering me was that it was so obvious that Lana was too good for me. She wanted something I wasn't willing to offer and so perhaps this was good. This was a good thing here.

"It's kind of true though, isn't it?" Lynn asked me, but she had a smile on her face.

These girls were pretty and they were looking for a good time and I was just the man to give it to them.

"Hey…this night is about us." I told them with a wink.

xx

**Lana's POV**

Sam and I walked to the little beachside condo we'd rented with one of Dean's fake credit cards, and while Sam laid down on the couch, I sat on the floor—just by the couch, I assure you. Sam Winchester was far too gentlemanly to force me to sit on or sleep on the floor, and I was far too stubborn to let him switch places with me. We were going to watch a movie since there really didn't seem to be anything else to do, and since it wasn't like we carried anything with us, it was up to Pay-Per-View. I wasn't sure exactly what I was in the mood for, but I figured that if I wanted to have a good night and not think about Dean and his threesome…ugh.

"You really want to watch a horror movie in the middle of nowhere near a body of water?" Sam asked me with an eyebrow raised.

I rolled my eyes as I looked through the list of movies to choose from. "Honestly, I don't think any of these movies are even scary I mean under 'horror' they have _Van Helsing_…what about that movie inspires fear?"

Sam laughed. "You have a point…what about something _not_ scary then?"

I smiled and laughed. "You mean like everything on this list? Oh! _Wrong Turn_!"

"How is _Wrong Turn_ scary?" Sam asked me skeptically.

I shrugged a little and bit my lip, getting the movie to start after charging it to Dean's credit card that had paid for the condo. We had three different rooms, and there were two bathrooms, and though sleeping in my own bed the night before had been fun, I was so used to cuddling up next to Dean at this point—Sam and I had called it quits on that. On top of that there was a kitchen and a dining room, and then the living area which was pretty spacious, and we'd been utilizing its space for the time being since it was cushier than living out of the Impala.

Too bad this wouldn't last forever.

"Honestly?" Sam asked me again.

I shrugged again. "I have an irrational fear of incestuous mutants, all right? In all reality, things could mutate into them, and I certainly wouldn't wanna be killed by one."

"Fair enough." Sam replied, and started to play with my hair, which made me wish it was Dean for a moment. "You all right, Lan?"

"I'm totally fine." I assured him as the beginning of the movie began to play.

I watched as Sam nodded at me out of the corner of my eye and he told me I was tense and started to rub my shoulders. His hands were like magic as they ran along my shoulders, and he pushed my hair over my shoulder and I lulled my head a little because it felt so good to have his hands run over my skin. At first I was a little surprised when he untied my halter to get a better handle on my neck, but my body never showed the surprise and Sam kept going, working out the kinks but I wasn't really turned on.

"2003 was actually a damn good year for 'horror' movies." I told him, using my fingers to make quotes when I said the word 'horror'.

Sam chuckled and I loved it. "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?"

I shrugged a little and then stopped moving my shoulders to let him rub them. "Jenny and I spent a lot of time watching the movies that year with ice cream and various other junk foods. I mean there was _Wrong Turn_, _Underworld_, _Jeepers Creepers 2_, _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_—we enjoy movies with blood in them that have the occasional moment that make us jump or scream."

Sam leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Sounds to me like the two of you need to put a little fluff in your movie diet."

"Maybe…" I said gently with a shrug.

"Hey…you're off." Sam told me slowly, tying the halter up again.

I sighed loudly and looked at the TV and not at Sam because I really didn't want to have this kind of conversation—especially not with Sam. He knew his brother so well and he knew that he was close enough to me to think that he knew how my feelings worked and it was a little bit frustrating because the moment Dean went through with his threesome, I was no longer going to be available to him as some kind of sex buddy. Now Sam wanted to talk things out with me and I didn't want to talk about Dean because it was crossing over a line that business partners just didn't cross over.

"Oh look, blood." I managed to say, looking at the TV as they showed the first dead body. "You can tell it's fake."

"Lan?" Sam asked me.

I knew I was going to regret it the second I opened up my mouth to speak, but the words simply tumbled out of my mouth and I knew I couldn't stop them. I had a habit of verbally vomiting all the time over people who started asking emotional questions because I was a woman…and I was very open. So when Sam used my nickname while there was a movie on and I couldn't stop thinking about what Dean was doing right now, I just started unloading all of my problems onto him.

"I'm jealous," I told him shrugging some more. "Dean is this guy that I met that I got drunk with and most people would think that that was some move on my part and that I was some incredibly easy person, but I'm not. I have feelings and Dean knew that I had feelings and so he backed off even though we've been having intimate moments since the plane and I just…great…I missed the beginning of the movie."

Sam nodded slowly. "So you're into Dean, he's about to have a threesome and now you're jealous. Lan, that's okay. You're right—you're a woman that has feelings and it's not okay for Dean to exploit them."

"Sam…I appreciate that you're concerned, but I'm a big girl and I think that it's important that I get over this cause we all work together. My feelings in the grand scheme of things, don't matter."

"Of course they do—you're sleeping together."

"Trust me…we're not sleeping together now."

"Okay, subject change then…favorite song?" Sam asked me.

I laughed a little because he had so easily changed the subject even though I had given him plenty of information. My feelings had been dangled right out there and then I had told him that I was going to keep them to myself because I was certain that Dean was doing what Dean did best because this was Dean—and attachments were bad. So now we were focusing on the movie and Sam was making me try and forget that and just talk to him to talk.

I took a deep breath and tried to think. "Um…_Learning to Breathe_?"

Sam chuckled a little and nodded. "_Parachutes_."

I smiled and looked over at him. "A **Coldplay** kind of man, eh? That's kind of hot, I have to say."

"Most people wouldn't agree with you." Sam replied with a laugh.

I shrugged. "And who needs their opinion anyway?"

Sam chuckled and nodded but this time a scream interrupted us and we both were suddenly very alert because it hadn't come from the TV. I got up quick and pulled my hair back before heading to the window as Sam grabbed a gun and followed suit. We both sighed because we were going to have to go and check it out and so after grabbing some jackets we went outside into the cold night air and turned on our flashlights as we checked by the ocean. It was really breezy outside and I had bare legs, so I shivered and Sam started to pull his jacket off and I shook my head.

"No, no, no—I'm totally fine. Honestly my legs get cold last, keep your jacket." I told him with a smile.

"Not gentlemanly." Sam replied.

I sighed loudly. "Come on what kind of a friend would I be if I totally jacked your jacket? I might be a girl, but I'm also very independent."

"I insist." Sam told me.

The thought made me smile and it made him smile too as I nodded, and then I forced him to keep his jacket anywhere and we didn't run into anything and headed back to the condo to do a little bit of research before I yawned and Sam suggested turning in. Another difference between Sam and Dean Winchester—Sam actually meant _sleep_…and I really couldn't blame him. It was kind of an exhausting night and we were both thinking about a lot of things—he was thinking about Jessica because of all the sex and flirting happening around him, and I was still thinking about Dean.

xx

_"You're losing sight of what you're **supposed** to be doing." Bethany Meckenzie told me._

_I took a deep breath and nodded, looking at the girl tied to the chair in the basement of the warehouse. It wasn't the first time I'd been sent to find things out from someone tainted with demon blood and it wouldn't be the last. There were so many things that I wanted to tell them I wouldn't do for them, but I never had to torture—just ask questions until I was blue in the face. Most of them were willing to help me too—it was the possessed ones that wouldn't tell me what I needed to hear._

_"Last time I hit a dead end." I tried._

_Marcus scoffed. "Sweetheart, that happens—just means you need to think outside the box."_

_"Besides…you can't play into his plan." Bethany explained to me, running her fingers through my hair. "He wants to have you and you can't let him."_

_"You keep telling me that, but I don't know exactly what it is that you two are talking about." I told them exasperatedly. "Where is 'he'?"_

_Bethany and Marcus just smiled at me like I should know and I sighed and looked at the blonde girl as her face suddenly changed into that of a man. He looked up at me and suddenly he was standing on his own, in front of me and looking at me with sad, troubled eyes. I wasn't the only one looking for this demon, and I was fairly certain the demon had less to do with my parents' murder, and more to do with myself. There was so much I didn't know about my heritage—like how I really came into being—and I was already messed up because of my real mother._

_"He'll be the one to take you to the woman who murdered us." Bethany explained with a smile. "Memorize his face…find him."_

_I sighed loudly. "How do I find him without a name?"_

_Marcus nudged me lovingly in the jaw with his fist and grinned. "You'll figure it out, baby cakes…just go back to Jen and research."_

I had to do my best the next morning to simply stretch awake instead of bolting awake. I'd dreamt about my parents quite a lot actually, but never like that. Their spirits had never really moved on and if I had learned anything at all about my dreams, it was that they were always true—they always meant something. In fact, this time I was pretty damn sure that I needed to head back to Kansas, and that neither Winchester was going to be very happy about it—especially Sam. We'd finally gotten used to the three of us being a team and I hated switching it up on him when he was used to the estrogen again, but this was something I had to do all by myself, and the girl screaming last night was something that Sam and Dean could handle together without me.

Getting up, I went into the bathroom and I washed my face before I took a shower and I looked in the mirror at myself. I wasn't the happiest and the dream was still playing through my mind and I honestly didn't know what to do. Go back to Kansas and Jen, yes, but that meant leaving behind Sam and Dean and thinking about that made me remember just how much I wanted to be around Dean. However Dean hadn't come back that night so he had been in that threesome and that made up my mind for me right then and there—he and I were definitely _not _getting together.

"You're going to have to get over it, Lana…" I told myself nodding.

Then I sighed loudly and I got up and got dressed before running into Sam coming out of my room.

"Good morning," Sam said with a smile on his face and then it faded. "Are you alright, Lan? You kind of seem down and worried."

I nodded a little. "I'm going to be fine, I think, I just…I never really came clean to you guys about my parents and I had a dream about them and I just—it's been a long vaca and I think I'm ready to call it quits on the vaca and go back to hunting."

"We never really thought it was our place to ask about them." Sam admitted, and I nodded slowly. "What is it you want to tell me about them? Or do you want to wait for Dean to be here to talk about them?"

"I was adopted…" I replied slowly, trying to figure out how to say it without feeling like I was betraying Dean since he wasn't here. "I loved my adoptive parents to death, I really did, and they tried to keep me safe from the hunting world—but I always knew about it. They let me do what I pleased really—even with all of their rules—because my real parents were…well, they knew that my mother was in this too deep, you know?"

Sam nodded as he took in all of the information and I was suddenly thinking about my ex boyfriend, Lance, whom I dated all through High School who understood this stuff. Now I needed Sam and then eventually Dean to understand about Bethany and Marcus Meckenzie in order for them to understand why I had the dreams that I had…why getting involved with me was tiring, which Lance could very well attend to. It was easy too, telling Sam everything because he was so understanding about it all—so willing to help me in any way that he could. There was just so much I couldn't tell him, and so part of me was feeling bad that I was already lying to one of my new best friends and then I'd be lying to Dean when I knew that I felt more for him than some business partner.

"I'm sorry, Lan." Sam told me softly.

I smiled at him. "I know…there's nothing we can do about. The point is, when I was 18, my adoptive parents were murdered in a fire, and they felt it was their job to watch over me…to point me towards their murderer. So, occasionally when I'm off track they come to me in vivid dreams and I just had one—telling me it's time I headed back home and worked on my search."

Sam frowned. "How do you know you can trust them, Lan? I mean they could just be angry spirits luring you—"

"—into a trap? Yeah, I know. I have also been around a lot of spirits in my day, Sammy…and in the three years I've been doing things for them, not once have they led me astray." I explained, and then I shrugged a little bit. "I'd only be gone for a little while, I promise."

"So you're planning on coming back then?" Sam asked me.

"Of course I will," I said with a smile on my face. "You guys can't get rid of me that easy, I just…I have to do this. If you don't keep in touch, I'm going to have to hunt your ass back down, and you know I can do it."

Sam chuckled and then went to shower himself so I could get some breakfast ready for us and I took a deep breath as I looked towards Dean's door. The three of us had had separate rooms and I was avoiding going past it to see him not there, but I had to pass it to go to the kitchen so I would have to pluck up the courage and do just that. So, taking a rather deep breath and trying to remind myself that this was part of what I was going to have to deal with—Dean sleeping with people who weren't me—I headed past his room and glanced at the open door, a little shocked.

"I'm surprised you're in." I told him, catching a glimpse of him and then leaning on the doorframe of his room. "You have a good night?"

xx

**Third Person**

When Dean looked up from taking off his boots, he saw Lana standing there and thought that he was going to be able to go through with this charade with her, but now he wasn't so certain. He had been so close to being him and just having a random threesome and then all of these thoughts kept crowding into his mind: would Lana be upset? Would she leave? Did she even care? So he decided that he needed to sever this tie and even though he hadn't had sex with either Lynn or Courtney, he was making it look like it because he couldn't afford the ties to Lana.

Dean nodded slowly at the question presented to him. "Judging from the fact that I _just_ got in, you tell me."

"Well then it must have been some night." Lana said and nodded with a sad smile. "Sam and I had a little fun ourselves."

"I figured seeing as how you two left together and then were just talking together in the early hours of the morning." Dean said with a cheeky grin. "I'm not stupid when it comes to testing the boundaries."

There it was again: jealousy in the pit of his stomach. Dean wanted more than anything for Sam to be happy again and to move on since Jessica, but he didn't want it to be with Lana Meckenzie. He didn't want to have to see the two of them together or have to pretend like he was alright with it. If he and Lana couldn't be together, then she couldn't be with anyone else, rubbing her happiness in his face.

Lana rolled her eyes. "For your information Sam and I did _not_ jump right into bed with each other. We are just friends—business partners. Sam and I are not together, nor are we sleeping together, but we're still flirting."

Lana didn't know what to classify the look on Dean's face as, but she was pretty certain he was actually relieved to hear about her and Sam not being together. She wanted to smile a little bit when his look fumbled a moment, but then Dean seemed to be right back to not even caring about it and it made Lana nod a little bit. Then the words came out of his mouth and suddenly Lana was just hopping mad at him.

"Well, your sex life is none of my business, so whatever." Dean said shrugging. "Let's just have a good last day of vacation and then get back out on the road."

Lana knew she wasn't allowed to be upset about the fact that Dean was upset, but he had also had a threesome and she wasn't about to be that girl. She was going to go and pick up her life a bit and then she was going to come back here and she was just going to be a business partner. Right now she couldn't afford being this emotional about him and so she decided to lay it all out there in a strong voice.

"Look, you're right—our sex lives are none of each other's business." She told him with a nod as she started to back up from the door toward the kitchen. "By the way, when I come back from Kansas to help out some more we are done with the random sex. You can obviously get sex from other women and I am not easy, Dean. I am a strong, independent woman and I will _not _be another notch on your bed post."

Dean came out of his room into the living area to follow Lana into the kitchen. "Wait, what? You're leaving already?"

Lana opened up her laptop on the coffee table and nodded. "I have some things to take care of in Lawrence and then I'll be back—you and Sam can take care of whatever scream Sam and I heard last night."

"Scream?" Dean asked suddenly.

Her reaction had at first made him a little happy because she wanted to try and be his keeper, but then he'd just gotten upset. Obviously he had upset her, but now she was leaving and had saddled on him that he had a case to solve her already and she was leaving it to him and Sam. Normally he wouldn't be upset, but Lana Meckenzie was already under his skin and so now they were _both_ hopping mad.

"You've got some pretty damn good timing, Lana!" Dean told her angrily. "Sam _just _got used to this!"

Lana looked up at him and made a face, rather confused by his sudden change in temperament. He obviously had something on his mind that he hadn't come clean to her about because even though he didn't know the whole story behind her going, he sure wasn't making a fuss because he was mad she was leaving Sam. When Lana looked away from him to book her spot on a flight, he scoffed and she sighed loudly and then took a deep breath because she really wanted him to just spit it out.

"What exactly is your problem here?" Lana asked him.

"_My_ problem? You accept Sam's proposal to be a part of this team and right when he's happy with it all, you abandon him to go home!" Dean exclaimed.

Lana laughed, practically in his face. "That is _not_ what is going on here and that is _not_ why you're mad at me. You're mad at me because I'm changing the dynamic on _you_ again."

"This has _nothing_ to do with me." Dean replied, but his voice faltered.

It was in that moment that Lana realized that even though they'd only known each other for a little while, she was officially something to them. Dean, even though he acted tough and made speeches about not getting attached, got attached damn fast and he was attached to her in one way or another and now he had to figure things out without her. His father had abandoned them, and now he was afraid that Lana was abandoning them too and she wasn't—she just had some things to take care of that she had to do with Jen, and Jen had a life of her own she hated leaving unless she had to. Since the search for the woman that murdered Lana's parents kept hitting dead ends, it was no reason to uproot her and besides…her parents had explained that she had to go back to Kansas.

"Dean, I'm not abandoning you two, all right? I have some things to work on surrounding my parents' murder, and I have to do it from home…I'm coming back." Lana explained, closing the laptop when the e-mail confirmation went through on the booked ticket.

Dean gave her a look. "Who said anything about abandoning?"

"I know more about you than you want to let on, Dean, and I get it, all right? You hate being alone, and now I'm switching things up on you again. It was you, your father and your brother and then Sam left and you had to cope. Then your father left and the first thing you did? You went to get Sammy." Lana told him softly with a shrug.

"Don't do that, Lana. You have no—"

"—you told me that first night after we met that you needed to be near him because besides your father, he was all that you had. Well Sammy is still here and even though you've gotten used to the estrogen and the boobs, you can do without me for a little bit, all right?" Lana told him as he ran his hand down his face. "I'm coming back, okay? I promise."

He and Lana looked at each other for a moment and then he nodded—wishing, Lana knew—that he hadn't been drunk enough to tell her anything like that. Lana knew him and Sam better than she knew she should be at this point, but hunting and everything brought out sides that no one else had ever seen—it really showed your character. Deep down Dean hated being alone, and Lana hated making him feel like he wasn't going to see her again when he was attached to her, but Lana was coming back, and he had to know that too. They were part of her family now, and she wasn't going to stay away from them for too long—that was a promise Lana was going to keep to herself.

"I hate that you know me like that." Dean told her.

Lana smiled as she headed for her room, her back to him. "Yeah? Well get used to it, Winchester, because we're all going to have to have to know quite a lot about each other to survive this if demons try and possess us or something."

Dean laughed a little when Lana turned to face him. "That's right…like how you sleep on your right side? And how when you have a nightmare you furrow your brow when you sleep? And that like me…you have to have at least one person around that understands you?"

Lana was honestly taken back by how much Dean knew about her, and she wasn't sure anymore how to react to him. He and Sam as close as Lana was to them, in the back of her mind Dean would always be there, nagging her and pushing all of her buttons…making her feel these feelings about him. One second he's totally pushing her away to flirt with the hottest thing he can see, and the next he's practically all over her with soft kisses and gratitude sex. One minute he's all over two chicks on a beach he probably slept with the night before, and the next he's telling her things about herself that Lana guessed she always knew, but never thought about…he was one layered son of a bitch and she loved that about him.

"Cheater." Lana told him and he smirked and shrugged.

"Yeah, but you're still playing the game." Dean replied, and they both heard the shower turn off in one of the bathrooms.

Lana laughed a little and then looked at him as she went to her room to pack a little bit. "Just make sure Sam has something to make for breakfast."

With that Lana shut the door in his face and started to pack as she thought things over because she had to be stronger about this no matter how well she knew Dean at this point. He was making it a point to be with other women and that was fine because they were working together and a romantic connection wasn't allowed to be formed between the two no matter what happened. Maybe it was a matter of life and death and so she kept reminding herself of that as she packed her duffle and put her shoes on, heading out to sit next to Dean, the island ledge between them and Sam cooking, and Lana smiled as Dean did. Sam Winchester could cook…who the Hell would have known _that_?

"Smells good. Eggs?" Lana asked him.

Sam nodded happily. "Yes—eggs."

Lana pulled her hair back into a ponytail. "Well what a breakfast to be shipped off with. You guys are going to keep in touch with me, right? Like even if you get into _big_ trouble and have to change your phones and numbers?"

Sam gave her a look and nodded. "Yes. I will keep in touch with you no matter what—this guy isn't as great with communication."

"Well he has other women to keep in touch with," Lana teased, looking at Dean and then getting a little serious as she looked at Sam and then back to Dean. "But hey…I'll miss you—both of you."

"Thank you for including me, now can we eat?" Dean asked out loud.

**Note: Lana and Dean are under each other's skin. And what is Lana hiding? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	6. Apple Pie and White Lies

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is important and it was a lot of fun to re-write, I'm telling you.**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

It took me three weeks to get the courage to even go see my parents' graves. Sam and I had had lots of conversations over the phone, and lots of laughs, and stories of what he and Dean had been doing, and then the conversations stopped—for some reason he stopped calling, and stopped answering the phone. When I called Dean, he didn't answer either, and I was worried, but I needed to do what I came to do. I had left them to take care of things that I hadn't been quite emotionally ready to take care of, and Jen had been busy with work and with little things of her own and the dreams were getting worse—I needed to visit their grave.

I put on some tight jeans, a white tank top, a jean jacket that matched my jeans, and then I put tennis shoes on, packed up my car, locked up my house, and went to the graveyard. I took some flowers I had picked out of the garden in the back of the house, and I sat down between the graves, pulling my hair back into a ponytail and then looking from grave to grave, wondering what it was I was supposed to say. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but my questions were only answered when I slept, and the dreams were starting to get scary…they were starting to get unbearable.

"I came because I had the dreams again." I began slowly, and when I was only met by silence, I wiped my eyes before the tears leaked out of my eyes and ran down my cheeks. "They aren't staying consistent either, which is what I'm most worried about. There's the one—the fire and you two just smiling at me, holding me to you while the house burned. Then, the two of you weren't there anymore because I knew that you were dead—that you were in the house burning and I wasn't allowed to go in and save you. Then there's the other one…the one with the girl strapped down to a chair and then suddenly it's a man—always the same man. But now the dream is starting to change—sometimes I kill the girl and I don't know why I do it. Why do I do it?"

I took a deep breath and nodded because I knew the question wasn't going to be answered, but that was what I was most worried about—me killing that girl. I honestly had no idea why she was strapped down to the chair in the first place but she always was—and she always told me that 'this wasn't me', and I couldn't figure out what that meant. I knew my task right then and there was figuring out who that man was, but with no name, there was no way I was going to find him—and I was getting worse and worse it seemed at figuring out the clues hidden in the dreams. Somewhere in the dream was the man's location, but for now I wanted to go back to Sam and Dean…so I changed the subject as I sat there on the ground and looked at the gravestones—I knew I had a job to do, but there was just no way that I was going to get it done on my own, and I had a new family now…I had a new place to belong. Besides…couldn't Sam and Dean help me with this if I asked them?

"I remember the house after they repaired it—after they refurnished it. It looks the same, but it's different without you…I was convinced for the longest time that the two of you were haunting the place—and you were. But then you left, and you were supposed to move on but you send me these dreams that I don't understand! Annie's gone, Jen has a life, Chelsea was murdered, and I then met Dean and Sam, and through them I found my purpose in life—I found a new place to belong and I don't want the dreams anymore. I will avenge you…but please…the dreams are starting to scare me." I admitted, and then I shrugged. "Besides…something it wrong because the boys aren't answering their phones and that means that something is wrong." I let go of the flowers and then stood up, smiling down at the gravestones. "I love you—both of you—but I have to go and make sure if Sam and Dean are all right."

With one last fond glance I got up and I went to try and pick up their trail, which was a lot easier than I thought it would be—but I knew them. It was weird that I knew them already after very little time, but we had bonded so fast that none of us really took the time to question it. The only thing I was questioning besides the dreams was why Sam and Dean weren't answering their cell phones and I was getting nervous. It took me a few days to drive all the way to where Dean and Sam had been last time, and then I had to pick up the trail again, and I ended up in a town where disappearances had been occurring so I figured, 'jackpot'!

As I drove by a house, I saw Dean's car, and Dean talking to an attractive female, so I pulled over behind him and parked. I checked my hair and applied lip gloss before I remembered that I had promised myself that we were just partners and that I would leave my crush feelings out of this…and where was Sam? He was probably just back at the motel doing some research—that was just like him. I got my jeaned butt out of the car, fixing my black top, and straightening my jean jacket and I sat on top of the hood of Dean's car, leaning back and crossing my ankles so I could get his attention. Even if I wasn't dating him or anything, I was rather happy to see him alive, and in the mood to kill the son of a bitch for not talking to me in the last little bit.

When he turned around as the girl went into her house, he smiled a little, coming to me, and giving me a classic Dean look—what a smartass.

xx

**Dean's POV**

Turning around to see Lana had really been the highlight of this week for me and I wanted more than anything to just pull her to me and be all cheeky. Fact of the matter was, however, that she had made it perfectly clear to me that we were simply business partners and I was trying to put distance between us by not talking to her the last month practically in hopes that the two of us would find come common ground again. Then she had to show up and be incredibly hot posing on the hood of my car and then pull me into a hug…and I couldn't not put my arms around her and hold her close to me protectively. I was so tense and worried about Sam, but just feeling her in my arms—feeling her heartbeat against my chest—made me relax a little bit.

I just wasn't about to share my feelings with her and cross back over the line.

"I figured you'd be with Sammy." I told her with a shrug.

Lana raised an eyebrow. "Okay…and where _is_ Sammy?"

I raised an eyebrow in response to her question. "What? He hasn't talked to you?"

Lana gave me a look. "Neither have you, so don't try turning this around on him like it's some sort of childish game or something. Where is Sammy?"

"Last I saw him he got mad at me for taking this case and I left his ass on the side of the road." I replied and Lana smacked my arm. "Hey! It's not _my_ fault he went and had to get all stubborn, all right? I blame _you_ for that trait, Missy."

"Whatever, you are both stubborn—I'm pretty sure it's a family trait." She said before taking a breath. "Have you at least talked to him? I'm worried that he's alone."

I smiled a bit at that and reached out to stroke her hair a moment upon instinct. She cared so much about my brother and yet she kept trying to tell me all the time that she wasn't into him in that way and I was grateful for that—I wanted her to not be into Sam that way because Sam could find someone else. I wanted Lana to be here all the time and if that meant finding a way to deal with letting her be with other people than fine…or maybe she'd be open to something open…

"So what demonic or supernatural thing are we dealing with now?" Lana asked me, changing the subject so that I didn't have to.

"Let's go see." I told her, plastering a smile on my face, and then I pointed to her car. "What will you do with your car?"

Lana shrugged and looked at me. "I have family close to here, and if you don't mind seeing them, I can drop it off with them."

I smirked. "Isn't it a bit early to meet the fam? I thought we were just business partners."

"We are, but sooner or later Aunt Debra is going to want to meet you Winchester boys." Lana told me with a laugh. "So you drive and I'll follow so you can fill me in first, all right? We can drop my car off later."

"The quicker we get this done, the quicker we get to Sam." I told her as I caught her looking at her phone. "Follow me to the motel, then we can pile into my car and get farther on the hunt and drop your car off later."

Lana nodded slowly. "Yeah, you're right—let's go see this scarecrow you keep mentioning."

xx

**Lana's POV**

Since he had a point, I followed him to the motel and I tried to think about what was going on here. Somehow in my absence, Dean and Sam had broken up their duo and I had a feeling that it had a lot more to do with their dad than either of them were letting on—it wasn't _just _about finding their dad and I knew that. There was more going on here that they weren't willing to tell me and how could I blame them? There were things about my family that I wasn't willing to tell them either.

Dean grinned as we piled into the Impala, me riding shotgun for the first time. "I haven't actually seen these orchards up close and personal yet—you showed up before I made that happen."

I laughed a little. "Well sorry to be such a bother."

"You're never a bother, Lana…well…you know…" Dean said, and we both laughed.

It felt nice to be back here doing this again, even if it was with just Dean at the moment. I had missed the company and the banter and the fun and the car, and it was nice to know that after three—almost four weeks—Dean and I were still good friends. Honestly, it was even nice to know from the glances we snuck with each other that we were still highly attached and attracted, and though it could prove fatal later on, for now it gave us both the company that we craved. Let it be known that Dean Winchester and Lana Meckenzie _hated_ to be alone, and they would do practically _anything_ to keep themselves from such a terrible fate.

"Is that it?" I asked as we got out of the car and headed towards a figure in the distance.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I think it might be—let's get closer to it."

I nodded as well and we both went right up to the scarecrow saying simultaneously, "Dude, you're fugly," and then Dean had to turn to me and add, "and you're beautiful."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Still smooth, Dean, still smooth."

He shrugged and gave me a playful wink and I just brushed it off, both of us looking at the picture Dean had printed out. We held it up to the one in front of our faces to make sure that it was a match, and then Dean took a couple steps to the side and nodded, noting that everything was there that was supposed to be there and I checked my phone. It was a bad, nervous habit, but I really wanted to hear from Sam and soon—the Winchesters needed to get their asses into gear.

"Nice tat." Dean told the scarecrow.

I laughed and looked at Dean. "I am so glad yours and Sammy's arms are clean from something like that—nicer to look at."

Dean smiled at me. "You don't have any new markings, do you?"

I smiled back as I shook my head and laughed again. "No, I don't."

"Remind me to check that later." He winked and then headed back towards the Impala.

I rolled my eyes and called after him, "Hey! That is not your job!"

Dean shrugged and without turning back around replied, "I recently took that job up."

I laughed and rolled my eyes again and while Dean worked on the task at hand, I ran my fingers through his hair to calm him down and to calm my nerves. The two of use needed some sort of closeness with Sam not even answering for Dean, and to keep our mind off of that, we were researching the ugly scarecrow thing. It seemed to be some sort of sacrificial thing given how many couples were missing and when Dean mentioned 'fertility God' I couldn't help but laugh and then I had to compose myself when Dean shot me a look. I wasn't even _trying_ to be immature, I just thought there were better reasons to sacrifice people.

"Never mind, I'm just going to agree with you, because the information fits." I told him, holding my hands up in surrender.

"Fine, but don't stop." Dean replied and went back to researching.

I rolled my eyes and started to massage his shoulders, taking a deep breath before asking what I wanted to. "So…what happened between you and Sam?"

Dean sighed loudly, but he was too close to me to lie. "It's just that Sam belongs in his world, and I belong in mine. We—I'm obsessed with fighting demons and doing what Dad wants, but Sam—Sam's obsessed with reading between the lines and trying to find him when he wanted us to deal with this thing. It just makes him who he is."

"Wait a minute…John actually _told_ you to do this one?" I asked him surprised. "Like he just showed up or what?"

"He called us and told us that we needed to focus on the hunt, but Sam wanted to find Dad instead." Dean said and he would have shrugged, but he liked the rubbing.

I nodded, and then after a little while I decided to take a shower and he let me go, me getting out and getting dressed, Dean trying to figure out some more of the lore and sneaking glances at my toweled body—I won't even lie and tell you that I was bothered by it either. When I yawned he told me to take a nap, which I shouldn't have done because when I woke up, Dean was gone, and there was only a note left behind in his wake. It infuriated me that he would try and take something like that on by himself, and the note infuriated me even more than his disappearance.

_Lana,_

_Went to check in with the sheriff._

_Didn't want to wake you._

_Did you know you drool when you sleep?_

_Dean_

So the first thing I did was head out and check in with the sheriff but no one had apparently seen him and it all began to make sense—everyone was in on it. It was like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre thing, and so I headed out to the apple orchards to try and see if I could find Dean. If they were using him as a sacrifice, then all I had to do was find him before the scarecrow came to life and claimed him, and then it would all be over. Well, it would all be over if we could kill the scarecrow…so that meant finding Dean, which meant grabbing a gun and heading into woods by myself. Good thing I wasn't blonde or a serious ho—meant I wouldn't be dying first.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Sam asked me out of nowhere and I jumped. "Aren't you off doing what you need to do?"

"Sam, you're such an ass!" I yelled at him and then I jumped on him and hugged him close. "I finished that. I—I got worried about you guys when you stopped answering your calls."

Sam returned the hug and held me. "I knew that if I told you what was up, you wouldn't finish what you needed to do…but you did that anyway."

"I'd rather be with you guys then on my own. That being said, we should split up to find your brother." I told Sam, getting off of him and pointing in two different directions. "I'll go that way, and you go that way."

Sam wasn't really happy with the whole idea of splitting up, but that was probably because he was the smart one that would be picked off in a true horror movie. Even so, we split up, both of us armed just in case, and then I saw two people tied to trees as offerings: a very attractive female that looked scared out of her mind, and then none other than Dean himself. At first the girl thought I was the scarecrow come to get them, but one look at me and she realized I was there to save them—maybe she noted the excited look on Dean's face too.

"Thank God! I knew I was much too pretty to die by the hands of that ugly thing!" Dean exclaimed, motioning his head in the direction of the scarecrow.

I smiled and nodded. "You know, that thing is even _fuglier_ from far away if you can believe it."

Dean looked up at me and smiled, and I squatted setting my gun on the ground. "I can believe it—the guy gives fugly a bad name."

"It seems you got yourself into quite a mess without me. It seems this is what you get for leaving me sleeping." I told him and I laughed a little and then gave him a look as I started to work on the bindings on his wrists.

He smirked, and then his fear took over. "Hey, you could cut me down, you know, _before_ the scarecrow comes alive."

"What scarecrow?" Sam asked from behind me.

I looked towards where the scarecrow had been, and then moved a little quicker than I had been moving before to get Dean untied, and then hurried over to untie the girl as Sam and Dean headed to the Impala to get Dean a gun as well. We needed to hunt this thing down and kill it once and for all, and after grabbing the girl to get her to safety, we all split up a little again, me on my own away from the group. I really hadn't intended to be separated from the others, but I didn't really have a choice at this point and I knew it.

Part of me had felt something on the wind—something I was supposed to listen to, but it wasn't the way it should have been…something was different. When I looked around, no one was there, and I felt that my legs were suddenly lead and I sat on the ground. Sometimes this happened and I just had to accept it but not right now—not in the middle of a hunt where I needed to have my wits about me. This was no time for the spirits of dead parents to be angry with me for giving up on what I was being told to do.

"Don't come to me now." I whispered, knowing my parents could hear me.

"Remember what you promised." Marcus whispered on the air.

I swallowed and nodded. "I remember, Dad."

"Don't let him win." Bethany replied and I found my legs able to work and I stood up and nodded slowly.

"I promise." I replied, and then I opened my eyes and the breeze stopped.

There were things about it I understood, and things about it I still didn't, and it was about time I came clean to Sam and Dean about _all_ of it. If there was one thing I had learned over the years, it was that I was a liability, and I needed to be honest with the people that I surrounded myself with. Jen had always been able to take care of herself, and it was our common bonds that we shared in Junior High that bonded us together forever, and if Sam and Dean were going to be my new family, then they needed to know too…they needed to be made aware.

Shaking the thoughts away because there were more important things to focus on, I hurried through the words and ended up back at the trees that the girl and Dean had been tied to. Apparently burning the tree would make the scarecrow go away forever, so we were all on board with it and let her do it since her family had been the ones to turn on her and sacrifice her. That was one area where Sam, Dean and I differed from these people…there was absolutely _no_ way in Hell that we would _ever_ sell each other out, and I was grateful for that…grateful for them.

"Oh my God! Your eye looks so much worse now then it did before." I told Dean.

He nodded a little and shrugged. "This is what happens when a sheriff beats you in the eye with the butt of his rifle."

I made a face. "I'm really sorry, Dean."

Dean waved it off and we all looked around at the lighter morning sky, and then helped the girl back home. She got herself all together and then we took her to the bus stop, seeing her off on the bus and then turning to each other. There were some things that we all needed to sort out together, and I was a little worried about how all of this was going to go down. I didn't know how they were going to react to me, or what they were going to do when they found out, but I knew that I had to trust them no matter what.

"So I guess we all need some answers." I said out loud.

"I think that's an understatement." Sam told me with a nod. "I mean what the Hell happened to the three of us?"

Dean took a breath and shrugged. "I think its obvious, don't you? We lost sight of the most important thing—killing the things that go bump in the night."

"That's not what Sam and I meant, and I think you know that, Dean." I told him firmly and then stuck my hands in my back pockets. "What's with you two anyway? I've been having the worst dreams lately, and then you two not calling me back, and not answering—it was a bit unsettling. I know that it was _my_ idea to run off and go back home, but I told you I would be back and you two promised to keep in touch and not even my Sam called me back. What exactly does that say?"

"That you don't put out enough?" Dean offered with a playful shrug.

Sam and I both shot Dean looks, but we knew he was just trying to _not_ have a serious conversation that we all _needed_ to have. It was simply in his nature to shut off the feelings and we got that because it made his job easier to do—the killing and all of it—but at the same time there should have been a certain level of emotions…a certain agreement between the three of us. We were going to have to deal with each other all the time, and we needed to be honest with each other…needed to act like adults.

"I wanted you to do what you needed to do for your parents, Lan—even Dean understood that you had to do what you had to do." Sam explained, placing his hand on my waist and drawing my body close to his, resting his chin on the top of my head. "We knew we needed to give you your space and we did just that…we didn't mean to worry you."

Dean nodded slowly. "I think I understand better than _anyone_ what it means to do what your parents say—even if it's blindly following orders."

"Yeah, but to be fair when she got here, you shouldn't have left her asleep." Sam told Dean. "She could have saved your ass."

"Or gotten sacrificed with me." Dean pointed out and then he shrugged.

Sam nodded and then smiled at him. "Good point. It's a good thing he left you sleeping."

Dean smiled and nodded and then told Sam he was welcome and they both headed towards the Impala like nothing had happened between them. I couldn't just wave it all off like they could though—I had to know what we were all going to do now, and I had to explain to them about what was going on with me. If things with me were going to get worse, then they had to understand that and they had to be prepared…they had to be ready for what was going to come and they had to accept me, or I had to go back to the original arrangement with Jen.

"Guys, there are still things to discuss." I told them stubbornly, not moving towards the car.

Dean sighed loudly. "Can we talk back at the motel, please? I would _really_ appreciate it if we could get your car to your folks and _then_ have a serious discussion _not_ out in the open."

I nodded slowly and headed towards the Impala. "Fine, fine—for once Dean Winchester brings up a good argument."

Dean grinned. "Hear that, Sam? I'm smart sometimes."

"'Sometimes' being the key word." Sam replied, and got into the passenger seat and closed the door behind him.

We were all pretty speechless in the car ride to the motel, and then as the boys turned to me to watch me get out to go to my car and then follow me to my aunt's place, I froze. This was the best time to talk to them about everything, and I had to explained things in a way that would give them all of the facts, and yet still keep them protected enough from the truth. My past was dark, and it was sorted, and I knew I could keep them safe…but I didn't know if after this, they would exactly be so keen on me still tagging along with them, and I wanted that more than anything in the world.

"Are you getting out or what?" Dean asked me impatiently.

Sam sighed at him and shot him a look. "Dude, will you give her a minute please? She's looking for a way to tell us something so just chill out."

I smiled a little at Sam and nodded slowly, wishing I had opened up earlier. "Yeah, uh…I have something I need to tell you."

"Great you look _really_ serious." Dean noted, sighing and giving me more of his attention.

I nodded and then I took a deep breath and decided to just go for it. "Look, part of the reason why I haven't opened up about my parents other than saying they died in an accident, was because of the _nature_ of the accident. Well, also because I'm adopted and my birth parents are a really sore subject for me. You see, my father—my real one—he got bitten by a werewolf when he was younger, and so I have some wolfish tendencies. It sounds really retarded, I know, but no one ever caught him, and he didn't know he did any of it, and then married my mom, they had me, he took off, my mother I have no idea what happened to her and…I'm completely normal." Okay, so that was kind of a lie, but right now I really couldn't bring up 'demon' things when it came to bloodlines with them. "See, Jen and I did tests when my adoptive Mom and Dad explained things to me, and I don't transform or kill people, I just…I get weird around full moons when the full spectrum of the wolf instincts kick in. No transformations or anything, I promise you—I'm just in tune with all the supernatural stuff. It's kind of like Peter Parker's spider senses, actually. Instead of going through a transformation, I tend to just, get bombarded with information that I suddenly start to pick up and know, and after three nights—the night before, of, and after the full moon—I'm all better."

Sam and Dean looked at me in shock for a moment, and then they seemed to finally process everything that had just spilled out of my mouth. I was rather thankful for that, but it wasn't the full story and I knew it…but maybe it was just better for now to let them chew on that for a while. After all, they had just found out that the reason I had so many flaws was because of my weird, tainted blood and I couldn't come clean about it being demon blood…especially when I didn't know the demon that was my birth father.

"Um…so the accident…?" Dean asked me finally. "The one with your adoptive parents?"

I nodded slowly. "Someone found out about who I really was, and retaliated. I blame myself everyday for that fire and that's part of why I listen to them when they come to me in my dreams."

"Oh God…you have freaky dreams too?" Dean asked me with a groan. "I have no idea why I even find that endearing."

"It's because you're impressed she can handle it all and not go crazy." Sam told him, reaching out and holding my hand. "Besides, its spirits talking to her, so it's not so freaky a thing and you know it."

Dean shrugged and nodded slowly. "True…it's more just she should salt and burn the bones of her parents."

"Not that simple Dean, and please be a little more considerate about the dead, all right?" Sam asked him.

I couldn't help but smile at the two because I appreciated them much more than they knew. It was already quite obvious to me that they accepted me for who I was and not for what my blood defined me as, Dean was just trying to make the situation lighter than it was, and that was his coping mechanism. Sam had already heard part of my confession, and he seemed completely un-phased by the other part of it now that he'd had time to process—I was just Lana Meckenzie to them, and that was the way that I wanted it to stay, and it looked like for now, that was how it was going to be.

"So did you ever find who killed your parents?" Dean asked me slowly. "Or is that why you're telling us this now?"

I smiled a little sadly. "I'm telling you because sometimes I'm going to have to go and do things and you aren't going to understand why I have to do them. There's so much that I still don't understand, and I won't until I actually find my mother. No one knows what happened to her, and Jen and I have hit dead end, after dead end, after dead end—the woman either didn't exist, or she's _damn_ good at hiding. I mean she used to visit me quite often but recently…I just don't know."

"Sound like someone we know?" Sam asked Dean.

Dean sighed loudly. "Sadly, yes, but now that the care and share is over can we please get your car to your family member's house and then be on our way? I mean there are other things to fight, and other places to see."

"And other waitresses to romp with?" I asked him with a laugh even though the green-eyed monster was definitely not gone.

"Well that's a given." Dean replied with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and laughed and then hopped out of the backseat, and drove to my Aunt Debra's and I dropped the car off in her driveway and looked up towards the door. I really wanted her to meet the Winchesters, but I didn't want her to give anything away to them that I wasn't quite ready to share yet. There were still things that I needed to protect them from, and I very desperately needed them to understand more about me before I was able to come clean _completely_ about my past.

"She'll like both of you, I'm sure. She hates rude people though." I told the boys when they came to stand next to me, looking at the house. "Other than that, she's rather friendly—and I mean she'll grab your ass."

Dean laughed. "Well if she's hot, I don't mind that."

I rolled my eyes and looked at Sam. "I think she's really going to like _you_ at least."

**Note: This is a really fun re-write, lol. Just so you know, the next chapter is longer than this one. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	7. I Can't Lose You

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**As you might have noticed, I put a "(Season One)" at the end of the story title. I think it's going to be easier to manage if the seasons are separate 'stories', so I will let you know when to move over to the next one.**

**This chapter is _really_ important to the Lana/Dean arc.**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

xxxx

Dean and Sam parked the car in front of an abandoned house and retrieved weapons from the trunk. We had been keeping to the three of us lately, and even when nights resorted in me and Sam cuddling _while_ we talked to Dean, the three of us were getting to know each other better. Now we were at the end of a rather tiring hunt, and the boys were getting out the strong taisers, and I was making sure all of my research was up to par.

"So, the strong ones?" I asked them as they were getting the taisers out of the back.

"Yeah." Dean replied with a nod.

"I really don't think this is a good idea." I told them, looking at the strong taisers that could only be used once. "Because I really think there's another way to go about it."

"We'll be fine." Sam assured me. "How about you stay here?"

I really hated having to be the look-out, but sometimes it was my job, and I mostly accepted it. To be fair, Sam and Dean were far more experienced than I was when it came to hunting, so if they told me to stay behind, I gave them very little distress about it—okay, I always had something to say, but getting in their way was dangerous for them so I did as I was told in the end. I was starting to give them more grief about it in some situations, but still didn't feel like it was entirely my place yet these days unless it was something I could honestly do because let's face it…I was physically stronger than both of them due to my demon blood.

I frowned at them. "And miss the fun?"

"We can handle it, and you've been doing all the researching." Dean told me with a shrug. "Just hang out here and be look-out."

"All right. Fine. I'll stay." I told them with a sigh.

"Good." Sam said swiftly before leaving with Dean to go and find the demon we were tracking.

I sat in the car while the boys went into the house, and decided to call Jen, but all I got was her answering machine, so I left a message. She'd been pretty distant since her parents had her doing some online classes since she was taking time off from hunting now that I had a new 'crew' to run with, and I really couldn't blame her parents for wanting to keep her safe. When I hung up though, I looked up to see Sam coming towards me fast, and I hurriedly got out of the car to meet him as he came towards me. That look on his face rather terrified me and I had no idea what it was that I was going to do should something be desperately wrong.

"Where's Dean?" I asked him in a panicked voice as I noted his worried face.

"Call 911 now, Lan!" Sam told me frantically.

I didn't ask questions, I just dialed and got an ambulance, learning that Dean had somehow electrocuted himself. At the hospital, Sam gave the nurse a false credit card, with the name Burkowitz on it, to pay the bill and went back to make his statement to two police officers. He told them that we had taken a shortcut that took them by that house and we heard screaming, so we stopped and found the kids in the basement. Sam put an end to his statement to go talk to the doctor who told him that the electrocution triggered a heart attack and Dean's heart was damaged, and I found myself getting teary eyed and Sam grasped my hand because he knew how much I cared for Dean.

"How damaged? Sam asked the doctor.

"We've done all we can." The doctor answered. "We can try and keep him comfortable at this point, but I give him a couple of weeks at most, maybe a month."

"No, no, there's…there's got to be something you can do, some kind of treatment." Sam replied, doing his best to hold back his tears as some leaked out of my eyes.

The doctor gave him a rather sorry look. "We can't work miracles. I really am sorry."

"Oh God." I told no one in particular, sitting in a nearby chair. "I should have gone with you two and stopped this from happening."

"No Lan, don't think like that. Let's just go and visit him okay?" Sam asked me.

He was trying to be so strong for me and I wished he wouldn't, because honestly as much as I wanted Sam to be able to cope in his own way without worrying about me, I cared about Dean and was devastated at what was happening. Our relationship was definitely not one-sided, and I wanted him to know that if he needed to show something, I was here for him—I wanted Dean to be a little unlike himself, and actually talk about how he was feeling without making jokes about it. Even so, Sam wanted to be strong for Dean too, and so he grasped my hand and we went into Dean's room and found him busy watching television, knowing we came in, but keeping his eyes fixed on the TV.

"You actually watch daytime TV? It's terrible." Dean told us with a slight smile in his tone as he spoke to us.

"I talked to your doctor." Sam answered in a voice full of sadness.

"That fabric softener teddy bear, ooh I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down." Dean said, and I sat next to him on the bed, Sam watching us.

"Dean?" Sam asked him.

Dean looked at him and turned the TV off, shifting a little as my fingers found their way into his hair. "Yeah, all right, well, looks like you're gonna leave town without me."

"What are you talking about? I'm not gonna leave you here." Sam replied.

Dean gave him a look when Sam stood his ground firmly and I was surprised actually that Dean would honestly think we would just take off without him. We were family, and there was absolutely no way that Sam and I were going to leave him behind when he had limited time to live. We were planning on spending our time with him, and trying to figure out how to get him out of this fate because there was _always_ a supernatural answer, and he knew that. There was always a loophole.

"Hey, you'd better take care of that car or I swear I'll haunt your ass." Dean tried to joke.

"I don't think that's funny." Sam replied, tears in his eyes.

I shook my head and sniffled a little, holding it together as best I could. "Sam's right…the joke isn't funny, Dean."

"Oh c'mon, it's a little funny." He told Sam who tried to form half a smile but above all was just trying to hold back his tears. "Look Sam, what can I say, man? It's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw, that's it, end of the story."

I bit my lip and did a rather good job at keeping the tears at bay, wishing I had more time with him, and wishing he wasn't being so cavalier about all of it. Dean was not supposed to die on me already—I hadn't even gotten to have the kind of time with him that I wanted, and I wished desperately that Dean and I had more time to spend together. I was losing the guy I had all these unresolved feelings about, and I really wanted Sam and Dean to have more time to get to know each other too…after all they were getting to know each other again after their fall-out when Sam went to college.

"Don't talk like that, alright? We still have options." Sam explained as I nodded.

"What options? You got burial or cremation." He told Sam who shook his head. "No, I know it's not easy…but I'm gonna die and you can't stop it."

I looked at Dean and we made eye contact as I stroked his hair. "Watch us."

Sam nodded and after he and I exchanged looks with each other and he nodded, he left the room and I sat there looking at Dean, and he looked up at the television again. Every time the two of us got into a situation like this, I was the one who had to try and start the conversation because Dean hated having intimate talks and I needed it. This was serious and I didn't want to lose him and he knew it, but he had to cope with it all by making jokes, and I was going to have to deal with that.

"This really is crap." He said, looking at me for a moment as I wiped the escaped tears away and gave a brave smile.

I lay there next to him and curled up with him, knowing that if I tried to talk, my feelings would pour out of me and it might just make him feel worse. I knew him well enough to know that if I just started spilling my guts out, then he would start to lose it and he really didn't want to right now…but part of me needed it. Whether he liked it or not, Dean Winchester meant something to me and if he really was going to die, then he needed to have the decency to have a personal conversation with me.

"Come on, where's my brave girl?" He asked me after a pause. "I mean even Sam was holding it in better then you. Why aren't you off comforting Sam anyway?"

He laid down a little bit and held me, and I snuggled into him and tried to form the words in my head because I really didn't know how to make them come out. I simply wanted to spend time with him because something bad had happened to him that I was responsible for, and I felt like I really needed to be here for him. There were all of these feelings swirling around in my gut and a lot of them were regret…some guilt. Sam needed someone to stand by him too right now, but he also understood that Dean meant a lot to me, and I could make it up to Sam later, but for now Dean needed me…and I needed him more than anything.

"Don't try to think too much—it might hurt." I told him with a smile on my face, snuggling into him. "Sam and I are fine I just want to make sure that _you're_ all right. You are, right? I mean besides the knowing that you're going to die?"

Dean kissed my forehead. "I'm going to be fine, Lanni."

I looked at him and smiled a little more, the tears coming back and him shaking his head and kissing my forehead again, holding me closer. He'd just given me a nickname and part of me felt like it was because he knew he was dying, but the other part of me was pretty certain that he just honestly felt that right in that moment, he and I were connected, and it was time he made me feel like he actually cared. Dean wiped my tears away with his thumbs and then made a joke and I rolled my eyes and got off of the hospital bed, heading to the motel room with Sam.

"How is he doing?" Sam asked me when I shut the door behind me.

I shrugged a little. "He's not actually _coping_ if that's what you want you want to know."

Sam nodded sadly. "Yeah…that was what I wanted to know. Hey…are you all right, Lan?"

I smiled at him as genuinely as I could. "Me? Yeah…I'll be all right. You should call your dad."

"Already done." He said, and came over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

I let him gather me up in his arms and stroke my hair, and I suddenly realized that when Dean was gone, Sam and I would only have each other. If there was anything that I knew right in that minute, it was that as much as we needed Dean, and as much as we were sure that we could get him out of this and keep him with us, we would always have each other after he was gone. There was an unspoken agreement there to take care of each other, and I never felt closer to either of them than right in that moment.

"I'm so glad I know you two." I told Sam, looking up at him and smiling as he looked down at me and ran his fingers over my face. "You really don't understand how much I appreciate you, Sammy."

Sam smiled and kissed my forehead. "I appreciate you too, Lan."

xx

Three days later, Sam and I were in the hotel room and Sam tried to call his father, but he got the voice mail again. It was becoming a rather regular habit for John to ignore calls, and I was kind of getting sick and tired of it because I really thought he should care more about his own children. Dean was dying, and John didn't have the decency to pick up _or_ to call back, so what did that _really_ say about him? I mean honestly…what kind of father would do something like that? Then again, my mother had been ignoring me too.

"Hey Dad, it's Sam. Hmm, you probably won't get this but…it's Dean." Sam sighed. "He's sick and…doctors say there's nothing they can do. Hmm, but they don't know the things we know, right? So don't worry 'cause I'll do whatever it takes to get him better. Right, I just wanted you to know."

He hung up and dropped the phone as I came and sat next to him, feeling like I should really be of more help than I was being. Sam and I had found a few things that we wanted to go over with Dean, but first we were trying to get a hold of John again and to no avail. So I ran my fingers through Sam's hair and smiled at him as he kissed my head softly, knowing then and there that my presence really was enough as far as Sam was concerned. Now all we had to do was go and talk to Dean about what we had finally come across, that we were sure would save Dean's life—and _that_ was what we were _really_ set on.

"At least Joshua called you back about saving Dean." I told him as I got up to get my things. "That's all that matters right now—that we have an option."

Sam nodded and held me close, and I returned the embrace and ran my fingers along his scalp as we got ready to leave the motel room and thought things over. All I needed was to be here for him, and he was always going to be there for me, no matter what happened, and for this moment he needed comfort because his father was ignoring him. Suddenly somebody knocked on the door, which surprised us because why would someone be looking for us? It surprised us even more when Sam opened the door and Dean was standing there.

"Are you crazy?" Sam asked as I got up to go to Dean.

"I'm not going to die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot." Dean answered, but he was looking at me and I smiled a little, Sam noticing the looks between us.

Sam and I saw right through his attitude and Sam pointed it out to him as I helped him to sit down on his claimed motel bed I had been sleeping in while he was in the hospital. Dean wanted to go through the journal just in case there was anyway that we could get him out of this since he knew Sam and I had been trying to do just that, and I piped up about Joshua. I told him that Joshua called Sam back and told him about a guy in Nebraska—a 'specialist' as Sam put it.

"You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?" Dean asked us with a slight chuckle, and we knew he was grateful for it.

I shook my head as Sam said, "We're not gonna let you die period. We're going."

Even though he put up a little bit of fuss because he was Dean Winchester and it was in his nature to do just that, he agreed to see the specialist. Just seeing Dean there was making Sam feel a little bit better and so he went out to grab some food and that left Dean and I alone together, looking at each other. We'd had several moments in the hospital together and I sat down next to him on the end of the bed, reaching up and stroking his face gently.

"You sure you're feeling alright?" I asked him slowly. "I've been so desperately worried about you."

Dean nodded slowly. "I needed to be with Sam…and you."

"And why did you need to be with me?" I asked him as I ran my thumb over his lips.

Before he could answer me though, I'd leaned in for a kiss, and Dean needed the emotional release as much as I did. Besides, we'd both been kind of working back up to this physical milestone for a little while now, and though I had kind of hoped it wouldn't be partially because we were in need of cheering up and he was potentially dying, I knew that deep down it was something both of us had been wanting, and we were both willing. There was so much about Dean that he kept hidden from everyone else and I suddenly couldn't think of anything that I wanted more in that moment—screw my whole decision to just be a business partner to him.

I smiled into him as Dean returned the kiss with want and need, smiling at him as I pulled my shirt off, Dean nodding as he smiled and pulling his off too, both of us sitting there with our tops off, our eyes meeting as he scooted in close to me. The eye contact was only broken so that I could look at his pecks, running my fingers along them and wondering how I came to be the way that I was now. One drunken night and suddenly sex was just kind of sex…not that there was nothing really magical about it anymore…it was just that with Dean I was more than willing to just part my legs and let him in. I'd gone all the way through High School with one boyfriend…and we never had sex because I was saving myself and then Dean Winchester happened.

One of Dean's hands traveled down my body to the zipper on my jeans and I watched him unzip it as I realized that there was a reason for everything I was doing. I honestly believed in fate, and I believed in karma, and I believed that there was a plan laid out for everything and even though it was my fault I let myself be deflowered, there was nothing _wrong_ with sex. Dean and I were in a somewhat committed emotional relationship, and the majority of the world did this in 'their relationships' all the time, and even though it complicated things, it could bring people closer together.

"You're thinking a lot." Dean told me, slipping his long fingers down low which made me close my eyes and claw at his pecks a little at the invasion.

I bit my lip and then composed my thoughts as his finger dipped and stroked inside of me, putting my senses into overdrive. "Are you sure _you're_ ready to do this…I don't want to hurt your heart anymore than it's already hurt by making you have a heart attack."

Truth was I'd be rather disappointed if he just simply pulled his finger out and then pulled away and made everything stop. I was on autopilot now and he couldn't turn me off if he wanted to, and he seemed to like it that way, but I was more worried about his heart than I was about my need for him. He responded to my words by using his free hand to cup my chin, bringing me in for a kiss as his invading finger pushed a little farther in and made me moan against his mouth. Why did Dean Winchester _have_ to be experienced when it came to sex? Damn him.

We quickly got each other out of the remaining obstacles and made it into a better position on the bed, Dean stroking my hair and me tugging at his softly as we continued to bruise each other's mouths with kisses as we merged. He moved against me deliberate and slow, and when neither of us could really take any more of it, Dean held me close to him and kissed me soft and slow as we tried to process the last go. It had helped us to cope in our time of need, and it had felt incredible, but all it was doing was binding me to Dean so much more.

"You sure your heart is okay?" I asked him, looking up into his eyes.

Dean smiled and nodded. "Yeah, my heart is fine. Even if I'd had another heart attack because of sex with you, it would be a great way to go."

"Not funny," I said as he chuckled, kissing him gently. "I'm not going to let you die."

Dean nodded and kissed me again, both of us getting up and making the bed and getting dressed so that Sam would come back to things looking somewhat normal. When he did, we headed out to see the specialist because even more than he wanted to be difficult, Dean wanted to be saved. So when we got to the place, we parked the car near a tent a lot of suffering people were heading for, and I hurried over to the passenger door to help Dean out of the car. Sam got there as Dean shook his head at me and reached out to help Dean get out of the car, but Dean pushed him away and then looked around annoyed as I felt guilty for keeping him so weak with that round of sex.

Dean gave Sam a look. "Man, you're a lying bastard. Thought you said we were going to see a doctor?"

"I believe he said a 'specialist'." I told him with a smile on my face.

"Look Dean, this guy is supposed to be the real deal." Sam pleaded with him. "Lan and I spent a _lot_ of time trying to make sure he was the real deal so we wouldn't get your hopes up too much."

"I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent." Dean argued.

One of the people heading towards the tent heard Dean and said, "Reverend Le Grange is a great man."

"Yeah, that's nice." Dean retorted.

I gave Dean a look and he shrugged his shoulders at me, not really in the mood to argue with me about him being rude or not. Since he was dying I had to let it go, and as we walked, we passed a protester who was distributing tracts. It was sort of nice to see that not everyone followed the flock, but at the same time, Dean really didn't need anything else detouring him from what Sam and I were trying to accomplish here. I needed Dean to live.

"I take that he's not a part of the flock." Dean said ironically.

"Well when people see something they can't explain, there's controversy." Sam protested with a shrug.

Dean gave Sam a look. "C'mon Sam! A faith healer!"

"Maybe it's time to have a little faith Dean." Sam told him.

"You know what I've got faith in? Reality. Knowing what's really going on." Dean explained to his brother.

The boys and I had never actually sat down and talked about faith before, but it seemed like one of those things that really honestly needed to be discussed. I was huge on faith—it was one of those things that really kept me going, and it was kind of heartbreaking to see that Dean really wasn't a believer at all. At least Sam was more open to it, but since Dean was the one I wanted to someday have a relationship with, it made other feelings churn in my stomach. For some reason I really felt like Dean really needed to put some faith in things he couldn't explain and I couldn't help but dwell on that.

"How can you be a skeptic with the things we see everyday?" Sam asked him.

"Exactly," Dean answered in a lower voice, "we _see_ them. We know they're real."

Sam nodded slowly. "But if you know Evil's out there, how can you not believe Good's out there too?"

Dean was ready with his answer _there_. "Because I've seen what Evil does to good people."

"Maybe God works in mysterious ways." A young woman said.

"Exactly." I agreed with her.

Since it wasn't a romantic look, the feelings of jealousy as Dean turned to look at the beautiful blonde woman that festered in my stomach were unacceptable. Dean was allowed to look at whomever he wanted and I knew that what had transpired between us earlier had meant something because he was soft and caring after and had even initiated some kisses. So I just smiled and tried to focus on the task at hand because this was all about healing Dean and that was it.

"Maybe he does." Dean replied with a small smile. "I think you just turned me around on the subject."

She smiled at him and I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"I'm Dean." He said holding out his hand. "This is Sam, and this is Lana."

"Layla." She answered and then her tone changed a little. "So, if you're not a believer, then why are you here?"

"Apparently, my brother believes enough for the both of us." He replied, which made Sam smile. "And I can't very well tell Lana I won't do this for them."

I was rather happy to hear that mine and Sam's opinions meant so much to him—even if he was still flirting with her—and it made Sam happy too and that was what mattered. As long as Dean was here and willing to receive whatever help we were willing to get him, that meant that he was going to stay with me and Sam that much longer. This had to work…Sam and I had faith in it and if there was one thing neither of us was willing to live without yet, it was definitely Dean.

"C'mon Layla, it's about to start." A woman that looked like her mother told her.

We went into the tent where a notice was displayed: "Welcome all faiths – True believers revival."

"Yeah peace, love and trust all over." Exclaimed Dean, nodding his head in the direction of a surveillance camera.

I rolled my eyes a little and then the three of us looked for seats and it was no surprise that Dean wanted to sit in the back of the room, but Sam and I made him sit closer to the stage. Sam and I were determined to make this work, and so we wanted Dean to be as close to the faith healer as possible, and though he protested, he did in fact sit with us. Then, Reverend Roy Le Grange started his speech and we were all ears, even Dean, who wasn't believing us.

"Each morning, my wife Sue Ann reads me the news; it never seems this good, does it? It seems like there's always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act, but I say to you: God is watching. And God rewards the good and he punishes the corrupt. It is the Lord who does the healing here, friends, the Lord who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people's hearts…" He was saying.

"Or into their wallets." Dean said leaning towards Sam, and I sighed.

"You think so, young man?" Roy asked.

Dean looked around and then up at Roy. "Sorry."

"No, no, don't be. Just watch what you say around a blind man, we've got real sharp ears. What's your name, son?" He asked.

"Dean." Dean replied.

"Dean, I want you…I want you to come up here with me." Roy said with a smile on his face and Sam and I couldn't help but smile too.

Our plan looked like it was going to work, and even though Layla's mother seemed very disappointed, everybody applauded. The look on Dean's face was disconcerting, and I was pretty sure he wasn't on board with it but everybody applauded to encourage Dean to climb onto the stage. Far leave it to Dean Winchester to disappoint a whole audience of people.

"No, it's okay." He answered Roy.

"What are you doing?" Sam and I asked him.

Roy nodded and smiled a little. "You've come here to be healed, haven't you?"

"Oh yeah, but um…maybe you should just pick someone else." Dean answered with a wave of his hand.

"I didn't pick you, Dean, the Lord did." Roy told him.

"Get up there!" Sam insisted and Dean complied to loud applause as I motioned my head to the stage and pointed sternly.

There was a slight smirk on Dean's voice as the commandingness came out in me, and he got up and Sam and I let out a sigh of relief. The slight smirk was gone when Sam and I grasped hands, and then he went on stage and I tried really hard not to get my hopes up, but I had to believe that Dean would be healed by this. He just had to be…I wasn't willing to be without him yet…I still needed Dean Winchester.

"You ready?" Roy asked Dean as Dean stood before him.

Dean laughed a little. "Yeah, look no disrespect but I'm not exactly a believer."

"You will be son, you will be." Roy told him with a smile on his face.

Then Roy invited the faithful to pray with him and he laid his hand on Dean's forehead and suddenly I felt like this was a bad idea and I tensed up. Dean didn't seem too well and he fell down to his knees, and I started towards the stage a little, but Sam held out his hand to stop me as the feeling got worse in the pit of my stomach, and my feelings were almost never wrong. When Dean suddenly collapsed, Sam and I rushed to the stage and tried to get Dean to come around and when he did, he seemed like he was seeing something, but there was nothing in the area that he was looking in…but the feeling still remained and that worried me more than anything.

xx

After the healing session, we all went to the hospital to make sure that Dean's condition had definitely improved. Sam and I were banking everything on this and Dean was rather annoyed and wanted us to stop doting on him and making such a fuss, but we couldn't help it. Dean even _looked_ better than he had when he was dying, and so we were pretty certain that whatever Roy had done had worked, and we were excited for him and his 'new chance at life'.

"So you really feel okay?" Sam asked Dean.

"I feel fine, Sam." Dean answered him with a sigh.

I ran my fingers through Dean's hair and then squeezed his hand. "You're sure?"

"Yes, Lana." Dean told me, kissing my hand and looking me in the eye.

We couldn't very well dwell on it too long though because Dean was started to get sick and tired of our constant babying, and the doctor came into the room. I don't think Dean had ever been so happy to see someone else in his life, and I couldn't help but smile a little at him as he gave her his full attention. It wasn't even a flirting attention either—he just really needed someone other than me and Sam talking to him right then.

The doctor smiled at him. "Well, according to all your tests, there's nothing wrong with your heart. No sign there ever was. Not that a man your age should have heart trouble but, still it's strange it does happen."

"What do you mean 'strange'?" Dean asked her after a moment with a look on his face I had already come to understand.

"Oh, just yesterday a young guy like you, 27, athletic, I don't know, had a heart attack." She answered with a small shrug.

Dean waited until the doctor left to speak again. "That's odd."

"Maybe it's coincidence. People's hearts give up all the time, man." Sam told him.

"No, they don't." Dean answered him and shot him a look.

The look in Dean's eyes was _quite_ unmistakable _now_, and I really wanted to just get as far away from here as I could, but the feelings in my stomach didn't want to be ignored. Sadly, there was something supernatural here and I was pretty sure that Dean knew that and because he was such a stubborn bastard, he was going to argue with Sam and me until he was blue in the face. I just wanted to take this miracle and run with it, because if the death was connected to Dean's recovery, Dean would never truly forgive himself for it, and I would hate to see him do that to himself.

"Let's not look into this much further in the direction you're going." I said suddenly, wanting to change the subject desperately and take Dean out of the hospital.

"I agree with Lana. Look Dean, do we have to look this one in the mouth? Why can't we be just thankful at the guy who saved your life and move on?" Sam asked him with a sigh.

Dean gave him a look. "Because I can't shake this feeling, that's why."

"What feeling?" Sam and I asked together.

Dean took a breath. "When I was healed, I just…I felt wrong, I felt cold and for a second, I saw someone. This old man, I'm telling you Sam, it was a spirit."

And there we had it—Dean had seen something rather supernatural, I had a feeling something was wrong, and now we were going to be sucked into a hunt. It wasn't that I didn't want to help out, I really did, but I just didn't know how I felt about Dean going right into another hunt practically with a brand new heart. Still, this was no time to be selfish because I was a hunter, and hunters always put everything else before themselves…it was just the way.

"But if there was something there, Dean, I think I would have seen him too. Man, I've been seeing an awful lot of things lately." Sam replied with another sigh.

"Oh excuse me, Psychic Wonder, you just need a little faith on this one. Sam, I've been hunting long enough to trust a feeling like this." Dean answered.

"Is that what you were looking at?" I asked Dean and at first he was confused, but he nodded. "Fabulous…I was getting my feelings and so…I think Dean might actually be onto something Sam, as much as I don't want to deal with it either."

Dean nodded slowly. "Why don't you go check out the heart attack guy, Sam, and Lana and I can go to visit the reverend."

"It sounds like a fool-proof enough plan to me—_someone_ has to keep an eye on the guy that almost crapped out on us." I replied.

Sam smiled and nodded, and then Dean and I went to Roy's and told him Dean would be fine but that he wanted to make sense of what happened. According to Sue Ann, it was a miracle—which was apparently the case around her husband. When Dean asked him when the miracles started, Roy explained that one day he woke up and he was blind and the doctors figured out he had cancer and gave him one month to live. So he and his wife prayed for a miracle and when he got too weak, he asked Sue Ann to keep praying and he ended up going into a coma and the doctors thought he wouldn't wake up but he did and his cancer was gone, his blindness being the only proof he'd been sick.

"And suddenly you could heal people?" Dean asked him curiously.

"I discovered it afterwards, yeah. God blessed me in many ways." Roy answered.

Sue Ann smiled and took her husband's hand. "And his flock just swelled over night and this is just the beginning."

"Can I ask you one last question?" Dean asked Roy after a pause.

"Of course, you can." Roy told him.

Dean nodded and then found the right words. "Why? Why me? Out of all those sick people, why save me?"

I had a feeling that the question would come sooner or later, and I squeezed Dean's hand and he grasped it back because whether he'd admit it or not, he needed the closeness, and he needed the reassurance. He and I made eye contact as Roy smiled and began to explain what it was that he did and how he did it, and I couldn't help but smile softly at Dean as Dean focused his attention on the man.

"Oh, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart and you just stood out from all the rest." Roy explained to him.

Dean nodded slowly. "What did you see in my heart?"

"A young man with an important purpose, a job to do and it isn't finished." He told Dean with a small nod.

I smiled at the words he spoke. "And he saw right."

"I've been meaning to ask you, miss, what is your name?" Roy asked me.

I hadn't actually thought that Roy knew I was there entirely even though his wife had mentioned I was there, but it was nice that his smile on me was so fond. This man couldn't be connected to anything bad as far as I was concerned, but it was because I truly wanted to have faith in his healing powers. He was the kind of man I would go to listen to, and part of me felt bad that we were here gathering information to use for a hunt…a hunt where we weren't sure _what_ we were hunting.

"This is Lana—she's one of the only things I have true faith in." Dean said, and I blushed…I hadn't been expecting that.

"Well you keep her around—she's the light at the end of the tunnel." Roy told him.

I blushed some more and smiled. "Well thank you very much for that."

Dean smiled at me and we made eye contact and it felt like we were both finally understanding each other, and then we turned to Roy and thanked him for everything. He had given me Dean back and I couldn't be more grateful to him at all. Roy and Sue Ann wished us the very best and then we began to leave the house and in doing so, we ran into Layla. She seemed pleased to see us, and I smiled at her because she was so friendly and kind and I really wished her the best.

"How are you feeling?" Layla asked Dean.

"I feel good. Cured, I guess. What are you doing here?" Dean asked her.

Layla smiled. "You know, my mom, she wanted to talk to the reverend."

"Layla?" Sue Ann asked her from the front door.

"Yes, here again." Layla answered her.

It took me a moment to figure it out, but I was starting to understand something about Layla—not only did she have a lot of faith, but she was waiting for a miracle. The miracle she was searching for was going to come to her from Reverend Roy, and she was so hopeful, and Dean hadn't been. The sadness of _his_ revelation of that only flashed in his eyes for a moment, but I knew it was only because he was trying to have a conversation with her that wasn't _too_ meaningful.

"I'm sorry but Roy is resting, and he won't be seeing anyone else right now." Sue Ann told her plainly.

"Sue Ann, please." Layla's mother begged. "This is our 6th time. He's got to see us."

"Roy is well aware of Layla's situation and he very much wants to help, just as soon as the Lord allows. Have faith, Mrs. Roarke." Sue Ann said before going back inside.

Mrs. Roarke was very disappointed and angry with Dean. "Why are you still even here? You got what you wanted."

"Mom, stop." Layla intervened.

I understood her fury and her sadness because she was a mother and she wanted her daughter to be healed, but I really wished she wouldn't take it out on Dean. It probably seemed rather unfair that Dean had showed up out of nowhere and gotten healed and here they were trying again and again just to get in and see him. I felt for her, but honestly? Honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way because I selfishly needed Dean alive.

"No Layla, this is too much. We've been to every single service. If Roy would stop choosing strangers over you, strangers who don't even believe…I just can't pray any harder." She told her daughter rather dejected.

Dean was feeling guiltier now. "Layla, what's wrong?"

"I have this thing…" She began.

"It's a brain tumor." Her mother explained. "It's inoperable. In 6 months, the doctors say…"

Dean nodded slowly. "I'm sorry."

Layla smiled at him and shrugged a little. "It's okay."

"No, it isn't. Why do you deserve to live more than my daughter?" She asked, and then left, Layla following her.

I took Dean's hand and leaned into him, running my hand up and down his arm to reassure him that he wasn't alone in this and it wasn't his fault. He knew what I was trying to tell him with my body language and he didn't believe me, but he didn't verbally say it at all. He simply squeezed my hand and we walked back to the motel, Dean and I getting into our room to see Sam looking upset, and I suddenly didn't want to know what it was that he had found.

Sam took a breath. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?" Dean asked.

"Marshall Hall died at 4:17." He answered.

I swallowed as I looked over Sam's research. "That's when Dean was healed."

In fact, each time someone had been 'miraculously' healed, someone died at the same time of the same symptoms the person saved by a miracle used to suffer from. It seemed Le Grange was trading a life for another, and Sam had now given the three of us proof of that. Dean began to feel that Marshall Hall died so that he could be saved, and Sam tried to comfort him by saying that Marshall would have died anyway even if someone else got healed, but Dean still felt guilty, so it didn't make any difference in the long run.

"The thing I don't understand," Sam mused, "is how is Roy doing it, how is he trading a life for a life?"

"Oh, he's not doing it. Something else is doing it for him." Dean replied.

Sam looked at him funny. "What do you mean?"

"The old man I saw on stage. I didn't want to believe it but deep down I knew it." Dean said as he thought out loud.

"You knew what? What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

"There's only one thing that can give and take life like that. We're dealing with a Reaper." I answered. "Every culture has one under different names."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "But you said you saw a dude in a suit."

"Oh, what do you think? That he should be working in that old black robe thing? You said it yourself that the clock stopped, right?" Dean asked, showing Sam a picture of a Reaper holding an hourglass that I had found. "Reapers stop time. And you can only see him when he's coming at you, which is why I could see him and you couldn't."

"Maybe," Sam said thoughtfully.

I took a deep breath and sat down on the end of Dean's bed and I put my head in my hands because it was all so much more real. Dean had actually almost died, and now we had to stop the man who had saved Dean's life because he was taking the lives of innocent people—he was playing God. Everything about this whole experience was completely bittersweet and I kept feeling conflicted even though I knew that made me the worst kind of person that there was. On the one hand I wanted very badly to leave Roy alone because he had given me Dean back healthy and safe, but on the other hand I had to save the innocents because Roy was going about saving people in the wrong way—he wasn't God.

"There's nothing else it could be Sam. The question is: how is Roy controlling the damn thing?" Dean asked heatedly.

"That cross." Sam told him as he thought about it.

Dean looked at him funny. "What?"

"There is this cross." Sam said searching in a tarot deck. "I know it's in the church, still I know I've seen it before. Here."

"A tarot?" Dean asked as he looked at the card that Sam was showing him.

I nodded slowly and finally looked back at them. "It makes sense."

Sam then explained that tarot dated back to a time of Christianity when some priests were still using black magic, necromancy to push death away or to cause it. Dean took the information in as I tried to figure out what it was that I wanted to ask Sam, and I realized that I knew what he was getting at. There were really only a couple explanations for _how_ Roy was doing what he was doing, and we had to narrow it down to the right one.

"Is Roy using black magic to bind the Reaper?" I asked Sam.

"If he is, he's riding the whirlwind; it's like putting a dog leash on a great white." Sam replied as I nodded in agreement.

Dean nodded slowly. "Okay, then we stop Roy."

"How?" Sam asked.

"You know how." Dean replied almost immediately.

Sam made a face at him. "Hey, what the Hell are you talking about? Dean, we can't kill Roy and you know it."

"Sam, the guy's playing God. He's deciding who lives and who dies, that's a monster in my book." Dean told him.

I shot Dean a look and hit the coffee table with my hand. "No, we're not gonna kill a human being Dean. We do that and we're no better than he is."

Dean could tell how upset I was growing and he nodded slowly. "Okay, so we can't kill Roy, we can't kill Death. Any ideas?"

"Okay…if Roy is using some kind of black spell on the Reaper, we've gotta figure out what it is, and how to break it." Sam said, and I nodded because it was far better than killing the old man.

We ended up going to the church—if Roy used a spell, there might be a spell book somewhere. Dean sent Sam and me searching for it while he tried to stop Roy. As for the protester, he was still there distributing tracts. I admired his determination, and since we were pretty sure that Roy was one big fraud his healing didn't actually make up for his taking of life, I was rather on the guy's side at that moment and so were Sam and Dean.

"Roy Le Grange is a fraud, he's no healer." The protester said.

"Amen, brother." Dean retorted.

Sam nodded and added, "You keep up the good work."

"If you try hard enough, I'm sure you'll get through to them." I assured him because I knew when we were done, Roy wouldn't be 'healing' anyone else.

The protestor smiled at us. "Thank you."

Sam and I waited for Roy and Sue Ann to leave their house and then we got in through a window and headed for their library. We didn't really want Dean coming in for fear that he'd lose it and do something we'd _all_ regret later, and so it was up to Sam and I to do the sleuthing at that particular moment. There, Sam noticed on one of the shelf units a place where there was no dust and he deduced from that, that the book placed there was moved recently which was our safest bet…even though it looked unpromising book-wise.

"There's nothing interesting about that book though." I said dismally.

"But look at this." Sam told me.

Behind it, was hidden another book in which Sam found an article about Marshall Hall who was a homosexual teacher, and an article about the young woman who died just after him who was a militant for abortion rights. He also discovered an article about David Wright, the protester who distributed tracts and suddenly it all made sense to me and I realized why I had felt the feelings before—this was wrong and I had to help stop what was going on before it happened again.

"Oh my God—he's going after the people he finds immoral." I said out loud. "He really _is_ playing God, and he's taking it much too far."

Sam nodded and phoned Dean and told him that Roy chose his victims among the people he saw as immoral and how we thought David was going to be the next one. He asked Dean to prevent Roy from healing someone else while he and I tried to find David, whom Sam and I managed to find thanks to his screams, but we couldn't see the Reaper. Dean called us to tell us he had stopped Roy, but it made no difference—he proceeded to tell us that it was in fact Sue Ann that was behind it, and we really believed that Roy had no idea, and thought he was doing it all for the greater good. When we met up again, Sam showed Dean the book we found in the library and we were all pretty sure _exactly_ how to handle this case.

"There's a spell to bind a Reaper in it. All we have to do is find a black altar with human bones and blood." I explained to them.

Sam puffed out a breath of air. "To cross the line like that, a preacher's wife, black magic, murder, evil."

"Desperate." Dean answered. "Her husband was dying and she's done anything to save him. She was using the binding spell to keep the Reaper away from Roy."

"Cheating death literally." Sam said with a nod.

Dean looked at him. "Yeah but Roy is alive so why is she still using the spell?"

"Because she let the power go to her head and she's using the reaper to kill anyone she thinks is immoral." I replied.

Dean shook his head and I knew he hated her, but that he was going to—for Sam and I—simply follow our laid out instructions. This was going to be a little hard to do but if we got it done quickly, everything would be just fine and we could continue on with our lives…a life that Dean now had back. Thankfully Roy wasn't aware of what was going on, and so I felt much better about him saving Dean…even though I knew Dean would never let it go because someone else had to die for him to be saved…because Dean Winchester honestly had a heart.

"Hey, Sue Ann had a cross around her neck." Dean said suddenly.

I smiled at his helpfulness. "All right, so we destroy both the altar and the cross just to be on the safe side."

When we arrived at Roy's, Layla's car was already there and Dean felt guilty again. It was coming in waves from him and I understood it, but I really wanted him to have his wits about him, even though I felt bad for Layla too. What had happened was really upsetting, and I wished that Layla could be healed too, but we weren't like Roy—we couldn't choose who lived and who died just because we cared the way that we did because sometimes life was unfair…and it was me realizing that that made me truly hate myself for my selfishness about Dean being saved before.

"You know, if Roy had picked up Layla instead of me, she'd be healed right now." Dean said suddenly.

"Dean, don't." Sam and I told him.

Dean couldn't stop though. "And if she's not healed tonight, she's gonna die in a couple of months."

"What's happening to her is horrible, but what are you gonna do? Let somebody else die to save her? You said it yourself Dean, you can't play God." Sam told him earnestly.

Dean just closed his mouth and we looked around inside the tent, Roy and the faithful gathered about, but Sue Ann wasn't there. She was the one that we really needed to find so that we could get the cross from around her neck and so Dean sent Sam and me searching for her in the house while he created a diversion to move the policemen away from the house. It was going to be harder than we thought, but we could do it—I had faith in our teamwork and Sam and I found the entrance to the basement and I followed him down there. We found the altar, on which a picture of Dean had been placed, which meant that tonight Dean's life would be traded for Layla's—I could _not_ let that happen.

"I gave your brother life and I can take it away." Sue Ann told us and Sam knocked over the altar, but Sue Ann had time to escape and she locked us in the basement. "Sam, can't you see, the Lord chose me to reward the just and punish the wicked and your brother is wicked and he deserves to die just as Layla deserves to live. It's God's will. Goodbye, Sam. Goodbye, Lana."

"God would never ask you to kill innocent people!" I cried up at her through the locked doors. "That's not your job!"

Sam couldn't manage to open the doors, so we had to find another way to escape. I realized that if there was any time good enough to show some of my hidden talents, then there would never be a good enough time. Then again, I was much more willing to chant a spell silently while Sam hit the doors hard, and then when they in fact gave way, Sam just assumed that he'd done it. It wasn't the time yet to come clean about that and we hurried to Sue Ann, and Sam broke her cross, which stopped the Reaper. Unfortunately without her control over it, the Reaper smiled at Sue Ann and Sam and I couldn't stop it from taking her life.

It was kind of a horrible thing to see, but that was what she got for playing with something as dangerous as dark magic, and Sam and I had to make sure that Dean was all right. He seemed all right considering the Hell he had just been through, and I hugged him tightly and he hugged me back as Sam reached out and rested his hand on his shoulder. Then we went back to the motel to get some sleep, Dean restless and me not able to sleep knowing he was upset even, so I stroked his hair and kept close to him, and in the morning we began to pack and Sam and I were worried about the expression on Dean's face.

"What is it?" Sam asked him.

"Nothing." Dean replied almost immediately.

I nodded a little and then repeated, "What is it?"

"We did the right thing here, didn't we?" Dean asked Sam and me after a pause.

Sam nodded at him. "Of course, we did."

"It doesn't feel like it." Dean replied.

"It really doesn't, does it?" I asked him as I took a breath and he shook his head.

Someone knocked on the motel door, and then Sam let Layla in—he had called her pretending Dean wanted to tell her goodbye, and Sam and I started to leave the room. I smiled at her as she came out of the room, and I hugged her because I honestly wanted the best for her, and I was very sorry that things hadn't worked out any better for her. Life sometimes handed us things that we had to tough through, and he had a plan for everyone.

"Thank you." She told me. "I've learned something today about God."

"He works in mysterious ways." I told her with a smile. "Just let the faith, guide you. As long as you have faith, the world feels like a better place. I'll keep you in my prayers."

She smiled, and then Sam and I headed out of the room and left Layla to talk to Dean on her own. We lugged our duffles out to the Impala and tossed them into the backseat and then I wrapped my arms around Sam and gave him a big hug. We had gotten Dean back and I knew that he knew that there was something else going on here between us…but I wasn't sure that I really wanted to get into it right now.

"I didn't know you believed." He told me.

I nodded and smiled. "I have great faith, Sam."

"I'm beginning to understand that." Sam replied and he rested his hand on my shoulder. "You are quite smitten with Dean…did you know that?"

"What? I don't see what you're getting at here, Sammy." I told him with a stunned look on my face.

Sam nodded slowly. "It's obvious, Lan. You look at him with this look that I haven't seen you give anyone else and this whole time you went out of your way to save him no matter what. You are incredibly attached to him—you care for him very deeply."

I could tell by the sound in his voice that he was pleased that I cared about Dean so much, but that he was a little nervous at the same time. It would change the whole dynamic of the three of us if Dean and I started up a relationship and I sighed a little bit because that was what I had been trying to avoid: changing the dynamic again. We were a hunting trio and I thought that it was important for us to have each other no matter what.

"I care for you _both_ very deeply." I admitted with a nod.

Sam smiled at me. "I'm going to go pack up the car—check on him please?"

I nodded and headed back into the motel room, passing Layla leaving in the hallway. Dean looked up from packing and smiled at me, me trying to keep my body still and resist the urge to hug him but I lost out on the battle. The last two incredibly nail-biting hunts were now over and I could breathe, and Dean wasn't going to die and leave me. I flung my arms around his neck and buried my face in him, him wrapping his arms back around me and running his fingers through my hair.

"I have no idea what I would have done if I had lost you." I whispered to him, trying not to cry. "You have no idea how much you mean to me."

Dean nodded against me. "It's actually nice to know how much you care, Lanni."

I pulled away and smiled at him, my eyes glossed over with tears. "Promise me that next time you won't carelessly get yourself electrocuted, all right?"

Dean rolled his eyes but he chuckled a little. "I promise. Now will you go and ignore the giant please? You two don't need to keep your eyes on me constantly, okay? I am a big boy and I can take care of myself."

"Will do, Dean…so you'll be out soon?" I asked him.

Dean kissed my forehead and then looked me in the eye. "I promise I'm all right, Lana, you don't need to worry about me."

"But I do." I admitted, and he really had no idea just how much I had to.

**Note: I hope you enjoyed the little over 21 page chapter! More very soon! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	8. The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This one changed A LOT in the re-write, but I really do love this story to death, and re-writing it is really keeping me happy.**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"I think that if we take this route, then we'll be right back on track." I told Sam as Dean was on the phone.

We had stopped off on our way to Pennsylvania because we had lost our way, and we were trying to figure out what to do and where to go. Dean looked kind of detached over on his phone and it was a little troublesome, but all in all it was turning out to be a pretty damn good day. Sam and I were a little distant, but we were trying to keep up the happy façade until we could get alone to talk about things, and I can honestly tell you that the two of us wanted to get to Pennsylvania _really_ badly.

"That seems right." Sam said with a nod.

I smiled at him and then Sam told Dean we had figured out where to go, and then Dean told us that we weren't going to Pennsylvania—we were going to go help out an old friend. Honestly I didn't mind that he wanted to head out to help an old friend, but it was the anxiety he was trying so hard not to show to us that was making me a little nervous. As Dean drove, I sat in the back and I sent Jen an e-mail, and listened to Sam as he talked about a Cassie, and Dean mentioned that they had dated, and I suddenly became very interested—when he talked about her it felt like he had unresolved issues with her. Perhaps she was the one…the one that had made Dean the way that he was.

"You told her?" Sam asked him suddenly. "The big family secret and you told some chick you dated for a couple weeks?"

I swallowed when I realized that Dean had loved this girl—trusted this girl—enough to tell her the family secret, and I was actually jealous. This had to be why Sam was pulling away from me…he was starting to know me better than I knew myself and I was jealous every time Dean was with another girl, every time Dean talked about other girls…every time Dean looked at me like I was family. I was close to Sam and that was all well in good, but he didn't want to be an outlet for me and Dean's issues and we both knew it…God I needed to sit down and get my head in gear.

"Are you coming?" Dean asked me finally.

xx

**Third Person**

Dean hadn't know what he wanted Lana to be like this hunt, but he certainly hadn't expected her to be been silent the entire drive, and they had finally made it to the police department to meet up with Cassie Robinson. Part of him wanted Lana to be a little jealous because she and Dean had been growing so close and he'd certainly known her longer than he had known Cassie, but the other part of him really wanted to see Cassie again. Dean had loved her and he hated to leave her and was feeling really conflicted right now.

Lana was feeling conflicted too—part of her wanted to see Cassie and to meet her and to just do her job since she was desperately trying to be a good hunter, but if Lana was this jealous without knowing anything about the girl, then there was really no telling as to what she was going to do just meeting her. This was a terribly hard hunt for Dean and Lana wanted to be there for him but if the green-eyed monster seriously was inhabiting her right then, there was no way she was going to get through this.

She kind of felt like she had no right to be jealous and yet she felt like she did because Dean had been being so affectionate toward her, which was just making the jealousy worse because she was pretty certain that Dean _still _loved Cassie. Why should she be jealous of Dean anyway? So what if his pain acknowledged that he in fact had a heart and he in fact _was_ capable of respecting women? Lana had told herself over and over again that the way that things were was the way that they should be.

"I'm in the middle of something, just go talk to her, and I'll be here when you get back." Lana told Dean, and Dean knew she was jealous.

He nodded slowly, and Lana could tell that he was a little torn between what he really wanted, but she wasn't going to let him see me in a vulnerable position—Lana was done with that because all it was getting her lately was hurt. Lana was making some really terrible decisions, and all she could do right then was be as strong as possible and focus on what could be a hunt. Dean and her both knew that that meant that she was going to need to talk to Cassie and she was going to need to figure out what was going on here, but Lana just couldn't bring myself to get her legs to work and Dean wasn't going to force her to move. So, Lana did what she had always done in situations like this…she called Jen and was so relieved that she answered her cell.

"Hey, Lan! How goes the hunting adventure?" Jen asked me, and Lana could tell she was in the middle of something but making time for her anyway.

Lana took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I'm a harlot."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa—you didn't convince them to do a threesome or something did you?" Jen asked her, joking and yet suddenly alert and focused on Lana.

"No!" Lana exclaimed rather loudly, and then calmed down a little. "I just feel like suddenly romance is what matters to me and it has never been that way with me before. I haven't felt this way since Lance, Jenny! Since _Lance_! You have _got_ to talk me down."

"Have you talked to them yet about everything?" Jen asked me calmly. "Because until you talk to them about what it is that you're feeling, nothing is going to get resolved. Besides…I thought you weren't sexually attracted to Dean anymore…what are you not telling me about?"

Lana sighed loudly. "Remember when I told you about how Dean almost died?"

"Yeah, I remember." Jen told her nodding.

"He and I slept together and it was gentle and loving and then…we haven't talked about it since then." Lana said honestly. "It meant so much to me, but Dean is treating it like I was just doing it because I thought he was dying. Besides, it's not about sleeping with Dean, Jenny…it's about seeing yet another facet of his personality. I want to be close to both of them…I do…but I can't do it without getting too attached. What if I'm more than crushing on Dean? Like in all seriousness, what if I am starting to fall for him?"

"That could be it, Lan, but you won't know until you talk about everything and come clean about it all. You won't solve anything by keeping it all to yourself." Jen explained to her.

Jen had always wanted what was best for Lana and that meant doing things for Lana that she wouldn't normally do for herself. Right now, she wanted Lana to be honest with herself because this was important—if there was any way that love could start forming between them, then Lana needed to figure out what it was that she was going to do about it. Lana nodded as well because she knew that Jen was right, and venting had made her think about things a little more clearly.

From the moment Lana had laid eyes on Dean, she had been attracted and she had wanted to try something out with him. Then she'd been a little turned off by his womanizer attitude, and she had decided that it was time for her to take a step back and remember that no matter what happened, they were still a fighting team. It had all been going so well for her, besides the jealousy, up until she had almost lost Dean for good and been faced with all of the thoughts of her life without him.

That entire hunt had really been one of the hardest hunts Lana had ever been put through, and she had realized that all that really mattered to her then was saving Dean—and all the while in the back of her mind, no matter what she was doing, she needed Dean safe. How could Lana have never noticed just _how_ attached to him she had become? It wasn't love yet…Lana was pretty sure of that…but she was definitely in serious like with the man and the jealousy was just the icing on that proverbial cake.

"Alright, I will talk to them, but later…we're helping out an old flame of Dean's with a case." Lana explained to her slowly.

Jen nodded slowly in understanding. "So _that's _why you're suddenly freaking out about all of this? Dean Winchester can love. You had to have known deep down that he could."

"Yeah, I just—" Lana began.

"—we're meeting up with Cassie at her house." Dean informed Lana as he and Sam and got back into the car. "She's going to fill us in on everything there."

"I'll call you in a little bit, Jenny, I know you're busy." Lana told her and told her she loved her before hanging up the phone and nodding at Sam and Dean as Dean pulled the car out onto the road. "Sounds like a plan."

Dean looked at Lana in the rearview mirror. "Hey…are you okay? You seem a little out of it, Lanni."

xx

**Lana's POV**

If it wasn't bad enough that I was already going over everything in my mind over and over and over again, Dean just _had_ to call me by that infernal nickname. All I could do of course was just nod my head and flash a smile, but my insides were working over time when I realized that I really needed some air—some time _away_ from Dean. How could I honestly like him this much? He chased skirt more than he hunted, and though he seemed hurt and upset even though he was rather desperately trying to hide that, he was still Dean Winchester. I wasn't supposed to get involved with a guy who could break hearts in a heartbeat and didn't look back when it was done.

But I knew in my heart that Dean was so much more than that.

"Why did you two split up?" I found myself asking, wishing I hadn't when I felt the pain coming from Dean, but he still wasn't physically showing it.

Dean shrugged. "Sometimes things just don't work out…happens in this line of work."

And there he went again—pushing emotion out the window to focus on things that actually made sense to him. I could only imagine how hard it must have been for Cassie to even get in the realm of close to the man. For a little while I had thought that I was close to him—that he trusted and respected me—and it was partially that, that had my stomach all in knots and twists over this. He had told me so many things that he had told Cassie and she hadn't accepted it…and it had broken his heart, but he was Dean Winchester…he wouldn't _ever_ admit that he had a heart to break.

"She's got a nice house." I told her when Dean parked the car. "Can't wait to meet her."

"Something tells me you two will either love or hate each other." Dean said as he got out of the car, Sam and I in tow.

I shrugged a little at his words and sent a smile in Sam's direction as he reached out and squeezed my hand a moment, both of us making the eye contact that used to be so reassuring. Now it was kind of hard to be reassured when there was so much uncertainty and unresolved tension behind the irises. Still, I managed to keep a rather brave face on as the beautiful mixed woman in front of me opened up the door wide and smiled at the three of us standing there. She looked strong and I could feel the inner struggle within her—this was going to be a really hard hunt for me, selfish as that sounded.

"Good to see you again." Cassie said with a smile and then her eyes landed on me and I didn't like what she was feeling about me. "Hi…I'm Cassie."

I smiled at her to try and be sweet. "Alana Meckenzie, I'm—"

"—she's a hunter like Sam and I. She's our partner." Dean told her.

I was pretty certain that he was trying to keep me as an option so he could make Cassie see what it was that she was missing, but that wasn't fair to me at all. Maybe I was just jumping to conclusions because looking at the beautiful woman was making me sad and conflicted, but I was really upset that he had cut me off and not let me introduce myself. This was _his_ fight with Cassie, and his alone, and I was not going to be dragged into it even if Dean wasn't trying to be petty exactly. He'd cut me off prematurely because he wanted to have some way of showing her that he'd moved on, when in fact he'd simply chosen to ignore the whole situation, and I didn't want to be his crutch.

"I'm also Sam's girlfriend." I lied, trying to make it like I was staking my claim as Dean got a look on his face like he was upset I kept going.

"You two look good together." Cassie told Sam and me.

I smiled at her. "Thanks. I think so too."

I didn't want any tea, and I wasn't tuning into the conversation all that much even though I knew that I should have been. The just of it was that Cassie's father had been murdered—run off the road by tracks made from a car that didn't actually exist, and it was that reason alone that she called Dean. Dean dealt with the unexplainable, and now she believed what he had told her before, and Dean was not in a happy place right now. Part of me was ripping apart because of it, and part of me knew that this was something Dean was going to have to deal with—it was his unfinished business, and he and Cassie were going to have to work things out. I wasn't happy about that, and it killed me that I wasn't happy about that, but that was just the way that things were going to have to go.

"We should talk to some people to narrow down suspects." I told Cassie.

She nodded at me. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

I smiled a little. "We'll be back to let you know what it is that we find out."

She still wasn't sure about me because she was noticing the looks I had been throwing at Dean and honestly I could care less. I was figuring things out and she needed to figure things out, and that was just how it was going to have to be. So the boys and I left and I opted to go back to the motel and research a little, Sam dropping in later and shrugging off his jacket as I looked things up on the web. I was actually working this case instead of moping around feeling like a terrible person, and Sam looked like he had something to tell me so I gave him my full attention.

"Believe it or not, Dean was in love with her." Sam said with a shake of his head and a smile. "It's seriously unresolved though because she dumped him and well…you noticed their looks I'm sure."

I furrowed my brow a little. "I didn't like the tone in that, Sammy."

Sam took a deep breath and sat down on his bed. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what's going on with you lately, Lan. Don't forget that you threw out the 'boyfriend' card earlier just to see that look on Dean's face."

I sighed loudly and stood up, walking over to him and looking down at him as he looked up at me. I knew that Sam was far from stupid, and so just the fact that he practically knew what I was going through wasn't surprising—but it hurt. Sam honestly didn't deserve what I was putting him through, and yet he didn't look hurt at all…he looked sort of amused and that was a little strange. I had been under the impression that all of this tension was really getting to him, but it wasn't.

"You've been slowly falling for Dean since the two of us met you, Lan. You and I both know that and I think it's time that you stopped acting like you're just his partner. I saw you when he almost died and you need to own up to it." Sam explained.

I nodded slowly. "Jen told me the same thing."

"Jen's incredibly intuitive." Sam replied with a chuckle.

"Yeah." I agreed with a smile. "It's just that…I don't want to get in the way of whatever it is that he has with Cassie, okay? If she can make him happy then so be it."

Sam nodded slowly and the look that we were sharing let me know that the two of us were on the same page and that we were there for each other no matter what happened emotionally after this hunt. It was nice to tell you the truth, because Sam was really my closest friend besides Jen, and I needed him no matter what. Still feeling bad about how things had gone down, but needing Sam's comfort since Dean still hadn't come back yet and was "checking on" Cassie, I cuddled up with Sam in his bed. Dean and Cassie had some things to work out between them, and if that meant resolving sexual tension then so be it—this was after all Dean.

As much as I wanted to believe that Dean and Cassie could just talk things out like normal people, I knew there was history there and since they'd only dated a couple of weeks, there had to be sex involved. Dean was a primal, sexual man and even though he had managed to fall in love in such a short time that_ I_ couldn't even manage, there were things about him that wouldn't change. I didn't want to think about them touching each other, and so I tried to push the thoughts from my mind as Sam and I drifted off to sleep, waking up in each other's arms.

I gave him a hug that he returned and kissed his forehead as his phone rang, me getting up to get changed as he got a little down. It was pretty obvious by the look on his face—the slight sadness and the determination—that someone had died and that meant we needed to buckle down and close the case. Oh, the sooner the better as far as I was concerned—I was almost ready to go back with Jen and try and have a normal life just so I wouldn't have to be around Dean and Cassie together. She wasn't even a bad person—I had no right to even be upset—I just couldn't help but wish she was out of the picture.

"We need to go and check out a murder. One of the guys that Dean and I talked to yesterday was murdered, and it may give us another clue." Sam explained, starting to get dressed. "Dean's meeting us there so are you sure you wanna come?"

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for the concern, Sammy, but I'm a big girl and your brother is a whore. Sleeping with his ex-girlfriend he somehow managed to fall in love with in two weeks is not something I can control, nor do I care."

Sam nodded with a smile on his face. "Yeah…the bitterness and resentment in your voice _really_ makes it sound like you don't care."

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm, Sammy—move your ass out the door." I told him.

Sam just laughed and nodded, and the two of us went to the crime site and looked around and then Dean showed up and I frowned—he smelled like her. I had kept telling myself that I was going to be just fine with knowing that the two of them had slept together, but for some reason I couldn't help but feel hurt. I _knew_ that I had started to fall for him a while back, and he'd known me much longer than just two weeks and what? Love wasn't ever going to be on the plate for us? Why did I even care about Dean's love anyway? He was more than willing to give it away to the first easy chick with a nice ass and huge rack in the form of sex. Being jealous…I can pretty much tell you with absolute certainty that I _hated_ being jealous.

"I lied, I'm not okay." I told Sam with a sigh. "He slept with her and it bothers me."

Sam nodded and reached out to stroke my hair. "I'm sorry, Lan. We're just going to have to see how this plays out."

I swallowed as Dean came closer to us. "I'm going to go and call Jen."

Dean looked a little upset that I simply ran off the second he got to us, but I really couldn't handle the fact that he smelled like her—that he'd slept with her. To a certain degree I knew that was something I was going to have to get used to, but right now I didn't want to deal with it, so I wasn't going to. Besides, Dean and Sam could talk to the cops without me, and I could vent and be a silly High School girl. Oh God…was that really what I was becoming? Some jealous High School twit? God should just smite me now…that would be a lot better than what I was putting myself and everyone else through…what bullshit.

"Jenny, I'm becoming a silly High School twit." I told her dismally when she answered her phone.

Jen laughed a little. "I take it you talked to the boys and something went wrong? That's just like your karma, Lan."

I nodded slowly. "Sadly, yeah that _is_ just like my karma. I talked to Sammy…Dean though I didn't. This case we're on is with his ex-girlfriend. His ex-girlfriend that he only dated for a couple of weeks and feel in love with and now they've gone off and had sex and I just…"

"You feel hurt because you were willing to give him something at one point but he didn't fall for you? That he's capable of love but it looks like you'll never get to have any from him? Wow…you should come back and hang with me." Jen told me and I knew she was smiling because she found the whole situation entertaining.

"I've actually been thinking about it." I admitted honestly. "I can't focus on being a hunter when I wanna claw out the eyes of _every_ girl that looks at him. I can't stop thinking about him, Jenny!"

I whined a little and she told me to finish up the hunt and then seriously consider coming home, and we hung up after our usual 'I love yous', Sam telling me Dean was going to research a bit with Cassie. Then he offered to take me to get something to eat since we'd skipped breakfast, and I was completely up for that. _Anything_ to get my mind off of Dean and Cassie and what they _might_ be doing instead of researching was definitely a good idea. So I ordered some coffee and some pancakes, and sucked the coffee down and then poked at the food as I thought about things, Sam watching me.

"Are you going to be okay?" Sam asked me finally. "Sorry, stupid question."

I waved it off with a smile. "No, no, that's all right—it's _not_ a stupid question. I think I will be just fine as soon as I stop acting like a teenager. I can deal with this, and I can suck it up and hunt."

"I think you should just tell Dean how you feel." Sam told me, taking my hand. "I'll always be here for you, you know? Even if he's a total dick about it, or doesn't feel the way that you feel, it's best in the long run that you let it be known so you can close the door on it and focus if need be. We're friends, and we're family, Lan—just think about talking to him, all right?"

I smiled, and kissed Sam's cheek swiftly and softly, and then the two of us ate our food and got up and went back to the motel, Dean already there and looking through things. I avoided his gaze and sat on Sam's bed with him, plugging in my laptop and checking my e-mail from Jen, who was sending me information about the current hunt. The two of us were feeling pretty on top of things and Dean wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to talk to him for fear of verbally vomiting all over him. I had been in this place before, and right now I didn't want to be in this place again.

"So…" Dean began as Sam went out of the room for a moment to get something from the car, leaving Dean and I alone together.

I was silent, trying hard not to just blurt out everything that was going through my head right that second.

"…I don't really know what to say." Dean finished. "All I know is you seem to be avoiding me suddenly."

"Maybe it would be better if neither of us spoke." I told him with a shrug. "There's nothing to discuss."

Dean nodded slowly. "Did I do something to piss you off, Lanni? Cause I seriously didn't mean to."

"You haven't done anything wrong, Dean. Drop it." I said with a smile and a shrug. "We should be focusing on Cassie and on the next death right now anyway, shouldn't we?"

Dean was going to say something when his phone rang, and then he dragged Sam and me with him because Cassie was almost attacked by the scary ghost car that was killing people. Apparently it was all because of something that Cassie's father had done in the past, and we would need to get the body of the man he killed out of the swamp and destroy it. Luckily that meant we'd probably have to split up eventually and I could go with Sam because I really didn't want to deal with Dean at all when I was being ridiculous. At least I knew I was being ridiculous and I could admit it…it was just so much harder when you had feelings for a person—so much harder to _actually_ want them to be happy even if it was with someone else.

"I don't know if I want to deal with it, Sam." I told him as Dean came out of Cassie's house.

"I know, but hey at least you're being professional." Sam said with a smile. "I mean you could have totally bit her head off when she was being kind of bitchy when you sided with Dean, but you didn't."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…but how long is _that _going to last?"

"You've always got me." Sam told me for what seemed like the hundredth time, and then he hugged me. "I will always have your back."

I nodded as I hugged him back, letting go as Dean showed up. There was a small look between Sam and me and then it was gone just like that and he and Sam started talking about getting the body. I was about to put my two cents in but Cassie came out of the house and I accidentally rolled my eyes and groaned, getting into the car before I embarrassed myself any further, occupying myself until Sam cleared his throat. Why did I have to look up and catch Dean and Cassie kissing each other so happily? Had the two of them really no decency at all? PDA, seriously…I didn't want to see it.

When the two of them finally broke apart, Sam and Dean got into the car and I bit my lip to keep myself from making anymore of a fool out of myself than I already had, and we went to get the car out of the swamp. We set the body on fire, but the spirit car was still alive and kicking—and it was so fantastic for us that it was seriously pissed. Dean left in the Impala to lure it away, and Sam and I were supposed to figure out how to burn the truck—this so wasn't good. I may have been seriously pissed at the man, but I didn't want him to die.

"If it hadn't been in the swamp this would be a whole Hell of a lot easier." I told Sam angrily. "Wait—what about hallowed ground?"

Sam looked at me for a moment, and then he called Cassie and got directions to the old church, and led Dean there via phone directions. It was really the only plan we had, and Sam and I were pretty much crossing our fingers that this would work. We both wanted Dean alive and kicking after this, and so this had to be timed perfectly.

"Make sure he goes _exactly_ seven tenths of a mile." I told Sam.

"Did you hear that, Dean? _Exactly_ seven tenths of a mile." Sam repeated.

I looked hard at Sam as he continued to talk to Dean, and then felt myself calming down a little bit since Sam seemed happy. He assured me that Dean was all right, and then he told Dean about the plan and then turned to me and told me Dean had hung up on him after he had said that the thought hadn't occurred to him that the plan wouldn't work. I couldn't help but laugh rather loudly because there had been some doubt in my mind, that was for damn certain.

"So he's all right?" I asked Sam.

Sam nodded and smiled. "He's fine."

"Good. It would be a Hell of a lot harder to hunt demons without our bait." I told him, and Sam smiled because he knew I was trying to make myself feel better. "Hey, Sam?"

"Yeah?" Sam answered as we began to walk along the road.

"Are you mad at me at all?" I asked him.

Honestly I really couldn't understand how Sam could be just fine with me and with everything that had happened. I knew we'd talked about it, and the two of us agreed that though we were attached to each other it was just friendship. At the same time, we were so close that I sometimes felt like I was leading him on and I wasn't entirely sure where Sam stood with all of this. Honestly, I could be handling this and all the other situations so much better than I was.

Sam smiled at me and shook his head. "You and I are always going to be friends, Lan. I knew from the moment I realized that you were into Dean that that was what you wanted and honestly? That was how I wanted it. I love the closeness that we have to each other, but I'm not Dean, and you're not Jess. Anything other than friendship between us just wouldn't work out and you know it."

I nodded slowly. "Thank you, Sammy."

Sam nodded, and then we smiled at each other, both knowing concretely that we were simply family, and that whatever we had thought was there upon meeting wasn't there romantically in the slightest. We were going to be there for each other, and we'd always have the other's back, but the spark we knew we needed in a relationship just wasn't between us. I leaned on Sam as we walked, and after spending the night in the motel room, me still in Sam's bed, but Dean in his, we got up the next morning to leave. You can just guess what Dean wanted to do…yeah…say 'goodbye' to Cassie.

I sat in the car with Sam and we watched the interaction between the two, Cassie telling Dean that she didn't see a future with him, but he told her he'd seen stranger things happen. Still, I knew that deep down he knew that it was her way of telling him that once he left out of her life again she was going to move on and he should too, and he would deal with it like he dealt with everything—easy sex and not talking about feelings. It hurt me to know that Dean had so much bottled inside him he needed to let out, but there was no way for me to help him with that if he wasn't willing. So I simply watched him walk away from her and get into the car, us driving away.

"You ever think it's worth it? Doing what we do when you could find a girl to accept you and settle down instead?" Sam asked Dean, glancing back at me a moment.

I was rather eager to know the answer to that, but Dean wasn't talking, and simply grabbed some sunglasses and put them on with a small smile on his face.

"Wake me up when it's my turn to drive." Dean told Sam, and I nodded from the backseat and composed an e-mail to Jen on my laptop.

xx

"Why didn't anyone wake me up?" Dean asked me when he realized I was driving.

I shushed him. "Sam's in the back sleeping."

Dean nodded, took his sunglasses off and then he looked at me. I wasn't appreciating that he was simply staring at me through silence and I knew I had no right to be angry with him but I was. What right did he really think he had to just stare at me for no good reason? I was in a rather bad mood and I didn't like that his eyes were on me like that when there were other things to look at and I honestly didn't want to be forced into talking to him.

"What?" I asked, seeing him out of the corner of my eye.

"I'm sorry." He told me. "I'm sorry for whatever it was that I did to you that's making you act like a royal bitch."

I scoffed. "_That_, Dean Winchester, is the _worst_ apology I have ever heard. Besides…you have nothing to apologize for."

"Obviously I do." Dean replied.

I took a deep breath as I shook my head and then I glanced at him and then looked back at the road. It would be so much better in the long run if I just gave up and laid it all out there but how I could I? He had practically _just _left Cassie, and it wasn't fair of me to lay all of _my_ stupid ass problems on him when he had problems of his own he'd never own up about, right? But how was I going to get through this if I knew I hadn't come clean about _everything_? Oh God…here goes nothing, Lana.

"It's not your fault that I'm losing it because of you." I told him finally.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What? I'm a little lost by that statement."

I took a deep breath. "Does it occur to you that maybe I've been so pissy and I was so cold to Cassie because maybe I like you? I've been practically falling for you since we met at Chelsea's wake, and I turned off the idea of you and me because I thought you were in it for the sex and even when I realized that you really did have feelings, I was too afraid of it all. Then I find out that you're capable of love—even more capable of it than I am—and I couldn't focus on the case once, Dean. Not _once_! All I can think about is you, you, you. Why the Hell did you have to go and electrocute yourself, huh? If you hadn't have almost died, I would never have figured out just how much I wanted to be with you!"

Dean was rather stumped. "Wow…"

"Yeah…" I replied with a nod.

Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Poor Sam."

I glanced over at him questioningly and then remembered that Dean had no idea that Sam and I weren't actually together. That had been exactly how I had introduced Sam and honestly I hadn't expected Dean to actually believe it. Actually, more than anything, I had expected Sam to tell Dean that I had just said that in the heat of the moment to get a rise out of him because I'd been avoiding Dean like the plague due to my jealousy about Cassie. I didn't have the time to tell him it was a lie either because Sam had woken up and asked if he should take back over. He was trying to give Dean time to process and me time to realize the severity of everything that I had just blurted out, and it was a good idea.

"Sorry to wake you." I told him genuinely.

Dean scoffed. "You have more than that to be sorry for."

"Dean, don't—you have absolutely no idea what the whole story is." I told him dangerously. "I will not allow you to tear me down when you have no right to."

"What whole story is there, Lanni?" Dean asked me, raising his voice. "This is the worst situation I have ever been in!"

I sighed loudly. "You know trying to talk to you is like expecting a rock to talk back—it's fruitless. So how about you and I just _don't_ talk? Sound peachy? Good, I'm glad."

I got off on an exit and parked in a motel parking lot, getting up and going to go and get the three of us a room. Dean was beyond pissed because he thought I was mind cheating on Sam, and if he hadn't been getting so damned defensive I would have set him straight but there was too much going on in my head. I just really needed to sleep, and when Sam came in and spooned me, I happily accepted the comfort and Dean scoffed and mumbled to himself as he turned over and went to sleep. He was never going to talk to me about any of it until he was sure he wouldn't be screwing Sam over.

In fact for a whole week Dean and I didn't talk unless we had to. Sam was letting us stew in our own juices and wanted Dean and I to talk things out without his involvement, and lucky me, I got the chance to talk to Dean over breakfast. It wasn't so much talking as it was Dean scoffing and me getting really fed up with him thinking I was a mind cheater, and Sam really didn't want to be in the middle of it even though I'd kind of put him there. He looked like he wanted to leave the table, and Dean and I just kept going, which made me wonder if this was just part of Sam's plan the whole time—let me unravel my own slip of tongue and actually talk things out with his brother.

"Sam…" I started dismally, but he shook his head and I sighed. "Fine," I told the waiter, "I'll have apple juice instead of another cup of coffee."

"I'll have orange juice and pancakes." Sam told him.

"And I'll have strong coffee." Dean said, looking at me. "It's so sweet that you let your boyfriend order you around."

I looked him in the eye. "You know for your information, Sam and I haven't been dating at all! I know that I introduced him as such, _before_ you slept with your precious bitch of an ex-girlfriend, but I was jealous—I still am! In fact it was _your_ brother who suggested I talk to you in the first place so you scoff at me one more time and I'm stabbing you with a fork."

Dean looked at me blankly. "Wait a minute…you've been letting me push you around for the last little over a week when I honestly had no right to?"

"Oh my God! The thing has a brain!" I exclaimed, standing up from the table. "I'm not hungry anymore."

Sam wanted me to stay and I felt like a bitch for being so angry, but I just left the diner and went back to the motel.

xx

**Dean's POV**

"So…was there ever a point when you were going to tell me that you and Lanni weren't actually dating?" I asked me brother suddenly.

He laughed a little bit and shrugged. "I figured the two of you would talk eventually, or she'd get mad enough to yell at you about it like now."

"Well thank you very much!" I told him shaking my head. "I mean all this time I thought she was like betraying you or something and I was stuck in the middle of a love triangle that I did _not_ want to be in and yet…I'm far less pissed off about it."

"Please, Dean, like Lana and I would ever actually happen when she only has eyes for you," Sam responded shaking his head. "She said it to see your reaction and you only got pissed about it because you want her too. The only reason you push her away so much is because you're afraid of being too close to her."

While I got what Sam was saying and I agreed with it, I just rolled my eyes and scoffed at him. I was not a caring and sharing kind of person and I didn't want to admit out loud that I was angry before thinking that they were dating…that I actually got upset when I thought about the two of them together. Then again, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how Lana felt about me.

It was all in the looks she gave me.

That beautiful, pain in the ass of a young woman looked at me like I was the one thing in the world she had to protect. She cared about me more than any other woman had ever cared about me before and when we'd actually made love when I thought I was dying, I had honestly been thinking that my last moments should be with _her_. It was thoughts like that, that would get us both killed and yet…Sam was right—I wanted her.

"This soon after Cassie makes me an ass," I said aloud, shaking my head when I said it. "Not that I'd go after her, just stating a fact."

Sam laughed a little and nodded. "You should go after her—it'd do you a world of good."

xx

**Lana's POV**

I actually _was_ rather hungry so I searched through my duffle for anything at all that would transubstantiate, finding an unopened but squished granola bar and realizing that it would have to do. Since I was much too hungry to protest, I simply bit into it and finished it before Dean came into the motel room and I sighed loudly. I had really said everything that it was that I thought needed to be said—everything that I had _wanted_ to say—and I wasn't so keen on us being alone right now.

"This isn't—"

"—I know."

"We can't—"

"—I know."

He nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. "Good."

I simply nodded at him and then I put my hands in the back pockets of my jeans and took a couple steps back when he took a couple towards me. Obviously _he_ wasn't finished, and so I was kind of worried about what was going to happen next if Dean and I actually just started to talk about everything. There was absolutely no logical reason for us to be together, or to talk things out and we needed space—something that was and wasn't Dean's forte of things.

"What happened to 'this isn't' and 'we can't'?" I asked him as he took a couple more steps to me and then stopped.

Dean swallowed. "_You_ made me think that you picked _Sam_."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah I did, and I'm sorry for that…I was just so jealous, Dean. We get so close and then we push each other away and when I was there with Cassie and you cut me off, I got upset and this whole time I just wasn't sure if you'd hurt me or not."

"Well you were smart to think like that. If you haven't noticed, getting close to me really doesn't help anyone." Dean replied, sitting on his bed and then chuckling a little. "You satisfied with your granola bar?"

I snatched up the wrapper and sighed, shaking my head. "I'm seriously hungry, honestly."

"Then we should go and get you some food." Dean told me, standing up and heading for the door. "Unless you wanna stay here and practically starve."

I smiled a little at him and sighed and rolled my eyes, letting him take me by the hand and drag me back to the diner. We got the same waiter who seemed rather amused that I had stormed off and then come back with Dean and not with Sam, which by the way…where was Sam? It was nice to be this close to Dean right now, but I was wondering where he was. Dean ordered some pancakes for me though and I just smiled it off and then I leaned back a little and looked at him.

"What?" Dean asked me, a cheeky smile on his face.

I shrugged and laughed. "Nothing just…I think my inflating your ego made your head bigger."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Oh ha, ha."

I laughed again. "Seriously, you're starting to look like a bobble head!"

Dean retaliated by stealing some of my pancakes when they got to me, and I couldn't help but just laugh and then we went back to the motel room and we sat with Sam, who had movies for us to watch. We were all kind of in need of serious unwinding, and so we watched a few movies and then it was time to pick a bed and with a smile and nod from Sam while Dean was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, I crawled into Dean's bed and snuggled under the covers. Dean was rather surprised, but he turned the light off and got under the covers with me, snuggling up against me. It wasn't some romantic arms around me thing seeing as how he hadn't told me anything about how _he_ was feeling—even though I wasn't expecting him to ever—it was simply an arm draped over me, both of us keeping the other warm until we woke up to Sam freaking out.

"Sammy, what's up?" I asked, Dean grunting an annoyed grunt.

"We've gotta move…now." Sam replied, his duffle already thrown together as he grabbed some pants and a jacket.

It was almost deafening, the emotions pouring off of Sam, and the second he told us that he had a vision of a man being trapped in his car, in the garage, and suffocating, Dean and I were up and packing to head to the car. It had looked like suicide according to Sam, and as Dean drove and Sam looked up the license information as I pulled some clothes on in the back seat. Once we got to the house, we found out that the man had died _exactly_ how Sam had seen it play in his head, and I went back to the car to look a few more things up while Dean talked to Sam in the crowd.

"It couldn't be, could it?" I asked myself out loud, staring at the seat in front of me. "I mean…no…no…there has to be another explanation."

I shook the thoughts off and then the boys and I found a nearby motel and the next morning we came back dressed as two priests and a nun. I was really hungry, kind of sore, and I just wanted to sleep. My senses were practically in overdrive and it was starting to make me a little queasy, but that wasn't the hard part—it was determining what emotions were coming from whom.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Dean asked me as I rubbed my temples, trying to fight off a headache.

I waved it off and shrugged as I smiled. "Just wishing I wasn't dressed like a nun."

Dean smiled and then the three of us talked to the family at the wake, trying to piece together what had happened to figure out why Sam had seen it. Dean pigged out on the little beef hotdogs on a stick while Sam talked to Max, and then we all decided that there was something up with the fact that there were no traces of paranormal activity. It was pretty weird, and then I felt it—something was emanating from the Max, but I wasn't sure exactly what yet.

There was something so familiar about it and so I went to look through some of my old files on my laptop while Sam and Dean went to go and stop Max's father's brother's death. I would have helped them, but it was just too much of a feeling and I had learned _never_ to doubt my feelings. That's when I realized that Sam and Max had something in common with Annie—something in common with me. It was too painful to go into so I just let it sink in and then tried to ignore it. Sam and Dean showed up though and I knew I could at least warn them without actually having to come clean about my past. This was something they needed to know at least, and so I took Sam by the hand and I smiled at him a little.

"You and Max have the same kind of power." I told Sam. "It's not the exact same power, but it originated from the same place. I just…you two have similar feeling…auras I guess you could say."

Sam nodded and then stroked my hair. "You're heading back to Lawrence aren't you?"

"I have to. Can you handle this hunt without me?" I asked him.

"Yeah, we can do that." Dean replied before Sam could. "Just…don't take three weeks this time, all right?"

I smiled at him. "I promise."

**Note: The next chapter will come VERY soon! I'm excited with how this one is going, and I hope you guys are too! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	9. The Oddest Things Bring People Together

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Here is some more and I hope that you guys enjoy it. I may or may not get another one up today, it depends—I work in 3 hours and tonight I have company over, so we'll see. Tomorrow there will be one or two chapters up.**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Being away from the boys was actually really hard, I have to admit it. Now that everything was out in the open all I wanted was to talk to Sam and Dean and hunt with them but I had to look up things on Annie…Annie, the little sister I had lost years ago. I really wanted to look up some things on our parents too, but everything was cut short when Dean called me on my cell phone. If I told you I was expecting to hear from him first I would be lying—and I'd be lying even more if I told you that my heart didn't skip a beat when I looked at the cover of my phone and saw that it was in fact him calling me.

"Hey, Dean—what's new?" I asked him, trying to sound cool even though just knowing he was on the other line was making my stomach do belly flops.

Dean took a deep breath. "How quickly can you get to Hibbing, Minnesota?"

I swallowed and suddenly my whole demeanor had changed. "What's wrong, Dean?"

"It's Sam—he's been kidnapped and for some reason the first person I thought of was you. If you were here it would make this easier and I'm sure we could find him faster." Dean explained to me.

I smiled a little and nodded. "I'm coming straight there."

I thought it was kind of adorable that Dean was trying to be really strong and tough by pretending he just needed me there to help him find Sam. Obviously Dean could get it done by himself, but it was nice to feel needed even if he was pretending he didn't need me just to be by his side and reassure him. So I got there as soon as I could by plane and when he opened up the motel room door for me that night I smiled at him and he ushered me in and locked the door before coming over to me and hugging me tight.

He leaned his head against mine and then pulled away and though I wished he'd held on longer, I knew I needed to be caught up on what had happened exactly. While I was researching for the last couple of days and hitting dead ends, Sam and Dean had come to Minnesota to look in on some kidnappings. Now Sam had been kidnapped and Dean wasn't sure what to do, but wanted to go to the sheriff station in the morning to check in on things since he was pretty sure whatever had happened was caught on one of the surveillance cameras.

"We should both get a little sleep and then be up right when the sheriff station opens, all right?" I suggested and nodded when he did, shrugging off my jacket and tossing it onto the motel room couch.

He got into his bed after taking off his shoes and his jeans and his jacket and I stripped down to my tank and my panties, sliding into bed with Dean and smiling when he slipped his arm under my neck. I snuggled my body into his warm one, and the two of us laid there for a moment or two, my forehead in the crook of his neck as his other arm wrapped around me as well. I knew it was one of those rare Dean Winchester moments to cherish, so I simply kissed his chest softly and slipped my arm in between his and his side, because I knew he needed the closeness since Sam was missing and he was worried.

I hadn't been expecting him to start stroking my hair though and I had to get a grip on myself because the closeness was definitely something that I had been lacking and I needed him but this would be taking advantage of him. He was worried about Sam, I was worried about Sam, and the two of us desperately needed to sleep and then get up in the morning and find him. Still, his lips pressing against my temple as his fingers ran through my dark locks was starting to make me crave more closeness, so I simply closed my eyes and pressed my body against his a little more and whispered, "Goodnight, Dean", which seemed to make him understand—he just nodded and we drifted off to sleep.

The following morning I woke up to breathing on my face, but kept my eyes closed as Dean stroked my hair and then kissed my lips ever so softly before getting out of the bed. He was thankful for me and he knew where I stood with him now, and that changed our entire 'relationship' with each other because now he knew that I was falling for him and with no Sam as an excuse not to face it, Dean had to deal with it. Believe me I still wasn't sure what all of this kissing me while I was 'sleeping' stuff was, but I could certainly get used to it and that was what _truly_ mattered to me right now…besides finding Sam.

"Good morning." I let out lazily, stretching and opening my eyes as Dean changed.

He smiled at me. "Get up and get dressed."

"How direct and forceful." I replied playfully since the tone he had used for me hadn't been harsh in the slightest. "I'll be ready in five minutes."

I got out of the bed and grabbed some clothes to change into to, then I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth before I ran a comb through my hair and then pulled my hair back. Then I joined Dean in the main part of the motel room and with a smile and wave of his head, the two of us were out of the room and headed towards the sheriff station. Dean explained to me that he had taken the name, "Gregory Washington" because of the mishap in Saint Louis with the shapeshifter when I was off doing my thing and he had been framed for murder and then the shapeshifter died in his form and I simply nodded.

When we got in there, however, I took on the persona of his wife and though confused at first, I was rewarded by the glint of satisfaction in his eyes. We met with Deputy Kathleen Hudak, and asked her to search the missing persons. At first she thought we were covering the Jenkins case which was odd because the State Police weren't doing that to her knowledge, but Dean replied that he was looking for his cousin.

"We were having a few last night at this bar down by the highway and I haven't seen him since." Dean explained.

"Does your cousin have a drinking problem?" She asked Dean.

"Sam? 2 beers and he's doing Karaoke." Dean answered, a slight smile on his face when she smiled at him. "He wasn't drunk, he was taken."

She nodded at him. "Alright. What's his name?"

"Winchester. Sam Winchester." I replied, feeling slightly jealous even though I knew I shouldn't be.

"Like the rifle?" She asked, slightly amused.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, like the rifle."

She ran a search for him and came up with quite a lot of information about him.

**Name**: Samuel Winchester

**Born**: May 2, 1983

**Place of birth**: Lawrence, Kansas

**Physical description**: 6'4'' Height 180-190 lbs Brown Hair, Brown Eyes

_No distinctive markings or tattoos_

**RELEVANT LINKS**

Dean Winchester (deceased) - brother of the subject

The woman clicked on Dean's file and some more information was displayed on the screen.

**Name**: Dean Winchester

**Born**: January 24, 1979

**Died**: March 7, 2006

**Place of birth**: Lawrence, Kansas

**Place of death**: St. Louis, Missouri

**Physical description**: 6'4'' Height 175 lbs Brown Hair, Green Eyes

_No distinctive markings or tattoos_

Subject was prime suspect in multiple homicide investigation in St. Louis area prior to his death

**RELEVANT LINKS**

Samuel Winchester - brother of the subject

"Samuel Winchester." She said out loud. "So, you know that his brother Dean died in St. Louis? That he was suspected of murder?"

"Yeah, Dean…kinda the black sheep in the Winchester family—damn he was good looking though." I replied with a smile. "Is there anything on Sam though?"

Dean rested his hand on the hip of mine farthest from him and pulled me close to him, noting the care in my voice—and maybe rather happy with me that I thought he was good looking. Kathleen checked for Sam and told us he wasn't showing up in any current field reports or hospital records. I nodded slowly and then looked at Dean, who looked directly at Kathleen and decided to go for a completely different approach—mention the surveillance cameras outside the bar.

"I'm thinking the cam would pick up whatever took him—or whoever—" Dean immediately corrected himself.

Turned out that Kathleen had access to the traffic cams but to have things done the right way, Dean and I had to fill out a missing person's report about Sam. It was annoying but seemed like it absolutely had to be done, and so we filled it out and then we handed the report over to her.

"Officer, look, he's family. I kinda…I kinda look out for the kid. You have to let me go with you." Dean pleaded with her.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that." She replied and Dean looked a little upset.

"Well, tell me something. Your county has its fair share of missing persons, any of them come back?" He asked her when she didn't answer he nodded. "Sam is my responsibility and he's coming back, I'm bringing him back."

She nodded and went to go and get the two of us the images from the traffic cameras and I set to rubbing Dean's shoulders as he sat down. He was surprisingly rather relaxed given what was going on and when Kathleen got back with the images, she let Dean and I looked at them. There wasn't anything really interesting in them, but she showed us a van that was probably stolen and told us that it was most likely involved with Sam's disappearance—which meant an actual kidnapping…no demons or ghosts or anything supernatural…just humans.

"So you're pretty sure he was kidnapped by the people driving this van?" I asked her.

She nodded and we started searching for the van in the police car—however the vehicle didn't pass the next traffic cameras so the driver turned off somewhere. Add on that there was no road on the map but according to Kathleen and that spelled out trouble…especially when she explained that there were private roads allowing access to backwoods properties. Then her computer beeped and she explained that she ran our badge numbers just to be thorough and they had come up stolen. Not to mention I was a man with a unisex name and Dean was apparently an over weight black man.

"I lost some weight and I got that Michael Jackson skin disease." He told her with a small smile on his face.

She didn't believe him and I just sighed and she asked us to step out of the car but we really needed to find Sam and this was starting to make everything harder. Dean and I both knew that even though we were probably getting arrested when this was done Sam was the top priority and we had to fight to keep looking for him. Neither of us were about to give up on him, and we knew that we needed Kathleen's help whether she wanted to give it to us or not.

"Look, you want to arrest us? That's fine, we'll cooperate I swear but first please, let us find Sam." Dean explained to her.

I nodded and looked at her. "Sam is important to us and we need to find him."

"I don't even know who you are or if this Sam person's missing." She told us.

"Look into my eyes and tell me if I'm lying about this." Dean said firmly, pleading with her without actually pleading.

She gave him a look. "Identity theft—you two are impersonating officers."

"Here is the thing. When…when we were young, I pretty much pulled him from a fire and ever since then I've felt responsible for him—you know, like it's my job to keep him safe. I'm just afraid if we don't find him fast…please, he's my family." Dean explained to her.

"He's the only family that we have and we have to make sure he's safe." I added, grasping Dean's hand.

"I'm sorry; you've given me no choice. I have to take you in…" She told us, looking at a picture of a man and herself, "…after we find Sam Winchester."

It made us feel rather thankful for her when she didn't arrest us because she needed our help, but it confused Dean and I little bit too. It was pretty late and it was best to keep us together, and by morning we were trying to find where the van had veered off and I was trying to rely on my instincts while Dean talked to Kathleen. Turned out the man in the picture with her was her brother, Riley, who had disappeared under the same conditions and despite all the research, they never found anything.

"I know what it's like to feel responsible for someone." She told us.

Dean and I nodded and sat in the back of the police car until I pointed out a road and Dean asked Kathleen to pull over. She did and then got out of the car and told us to stay back while she went to take a look, but we refused. Sam was our responsibility and neither of us were _completely_ convinced that it was just a run of the mill kidnapping—of course we weren't going to tell her we thought it was demon related but come on…could it really just be some messed up human beings?

"You're civilians…and felons I think—I'm not taking you with me." She told us firmly.

Dean nodded. "You're not going without us."

"Alright, you promise you won't get involved; you'll let me handle it?" She asked us.

"Yeah, we promise." I piped up, really needing to save Sam.

She nodded slowly. "Shake on it."

Dean reached out to shake her hand, and she took the opportunity to handcuff him to the car door handle. Part of me was going to fight back but she could take me so I simply let her handcuff me to the handle as well and Dean made a disgruntled noise. He was pissed I just gave in so easy, but he was going to have to start giving me the benefit of the doubt—maybe even trusting me a little more.

"Kathleen, I really think you're gonna need our help." Dean told her.

"I'll manage, thank you." She told him and then headed off.

Dean sighed and gave me a look before looking at the cuffs. "I gotta start carrying paperclips."

"You think bobby pins will do?" I asked him with a smile.

I reached up with my free hand and got one out of my hair, handing it over to him as he beamed at me—apparently a bobby pin would do. He didn't say anything to me, but I knew by the cheeky grin on his face that he had something to say but he was keeping it to himself while he concentrated on picking the lock. We both heard an engine so he tried to be quicker about it, getting his off and then mine before he handed it back and I put it in my pocket and followed him as we followed Kathleen's path.

The two of us were dead set on getting in, freeing Sam and then punishing whomever or whatever had taken him. It was in that moment as we got to the barn where they were holding Sam that I realized I hated being away from Sam and Dean—I hated not being here to have their backs. Jen would always be my family and I would always love her more than life itself, but Sam and Dean were my family too and I couldn't leave them out here to simply fend for themselves. They meant everything to me and it was my job to stick by them and to make sure that neither of them would die—I could keep them safe and that was what I _should_ have been doing.

"Sam, are you hurt?" Dean asked him.

Sam shook his head. "No."

"Damn, it's good to see you!" Dean exclaimed and I rested my hand on the cage.

"I leave you two alone and you get yourself kidnapped?" I asked Sam, and he smiled at me.

Kathleen spoke up though. "How did you get out of the cuffs?"

"Oh, I know a trick or two." Dean replied.

I smiled at him as I kissed Sam's hand through the gate and then Dean and I looked over the locks but they were complicated. Sam explained to us that they were controlled by a box and showed us there it was which was very helpful. At the same time, we were still kind of iffy about what or who had actually done this, and it wasn't so straight forward—but our lives _weren't_, so it was kind of expected.

"Have you seen them?" Dean asked Sam.

Sam nodded to us. "Yeah. Guys, they're just people."

"And they jumped you? You must be getting a little rusty there, kiddo. What do they want?" Dean asked as he headed for the control box.

"I don't know. They let Jenkins go, but that was some sort of trap." Sam explained. "It really doesn't make any sense."

"Yes well they don't have to play by any rules, do they? I mean normally what we look for is kind of straight forward—they follow a pattern." I said with a shrug.

Dean nodded. "She's right—people are just plain crazy."

"Did you guys see anything else on the way in?" Sam asked.

"There were a lot of cars and in case you didn't know, you're in a barn." I replied with a small smile. "I'm pretty sure they take the cars when they take the people."

That little bit of knowledge seemed to appeal to Kathleen and she looked at us as Dean tried to find the key to the cages. Right now we needed to get Sam out of here and find the people behind it that were responsible for all of these terrible things. I was pretty sure they were inside but my attention was focused on Kathleen when she opened up her mouth to ask me a question that burning inside of her.

"Did you…did you see an old black Mustang?" She asked me.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah I did."

We all felt pretty bad when we realized that she was asking about a car that belonged to her brother, and Dean mentioned that the key had to be inside the house. I wasn't about to let him go search by himself, so the two of us headed into the basement of the house with flashlights, and found all sorts of collections of pictures. Then we headed upstairs as quiet as we could and we found some jars—one of which Dean picked up and I made a face…it had human teeth in it.

"Did you hear something?" I asked Dean softly.

He nodded and we turned around, facing a little girl and Dean said, "It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you."

She nodded. "I know."

Then before I knew what was going on she threw a knife at Dean, pinning his jacket to the wall, then when I went to stop her from calling her father, she stabbed me with another one. I paused a second when Dean cried out my name and then looked down at my wound and the blood on my hands before the two other Benders showed up and Dean went to fight them. He was actually doing pretty well, and I sat down because I was starting to feel a little lightheaded.

"I'm gonna kick your ass first, and then yours." Dean told them, but the father knocked him unconscious with a frying pan and then knocked me out too, Dean regaining consciousness before me. "Oh you gotta be kidding me? That's what this is about? You…you yahoos hunt people?"

"You ever killed before?" The father asked Dean.

Dean paused a moment. "Well, it depends on what you mean."

"I've hunted all my life, just like my father and his before him. I've hunted deer and bear; I even got a cougar once…but the best hunt is human. Oh, there's nothing like it. Holding their life in your hands, seeing the fear in their eyes just before they go dark makes you feel powerful alive." The father replied.

"You're a sick puppy." Dean told him softly.

The father kept going. "We give him a weapon, give him a fighting chance. It's kinda like our tradition passed down, father to son. Of course, only one or two a year, never enough to bring the law down. We've never been that sloppy."

"Don't sell yourself short, you're plenty sloppy." I told them, wishing I didn't feel a tad dizzy.

Father Bender went up to Dean and looked him in the eye. "So what, you're with that pretty cop? You're a cop?"

"If I tell you, you promise not to make me into an ashtray?" Dean answered, and one of the sons hit him in the face.

"The only reason I don't let my boys take you right here and now is that there's something I need to know." Father Bender explained.

Dean scoffed a little. "How about 'it's not nice to marry your sister'?"

The man grabbed a heated up poker and asked Dean if there were more cops on the way looking for them and I swallowed. I was in a lot of pain and pretty sure Dean still had something cheeky left in him to say, and I wanted him to be careful because I didn't want him hurt. Maybe he didn't remember, but I couldn't lose him—he meant far too much to me and now I was starting to freak out because the knife had obviously hit something semi-serious.

"Eat me! Oh no, no, no, wait, wait…you actually might." Dean said, and the son that had hit him before made a face.

"Stop playing games and answer the question—you play games and we'll play games." The son threatened Dean and Dean made a noise when I opened my mouth to speak, and so I shut my mouth. "Looks like there's gonna be a hunt tonight after all, boy and you get to pick the animal: the boy or the cop?"

I shook my head. "No one else is coming, all right?"

"I will stick this in your eye." The son holding the poker to Dean's face explained.

"The boy!" Dean said suddenly. "I pick the boy."

We were both aware that Sam was the one that could actually take care of himself out of the two of them—Sam or Kathleen—and yet I felt bad about it. These were hunters and as much as they wanted a game, they didn't want any trouble and we had brought a cop with us. Blame my feelings, but I knew that this really wasn't going to end well and I needed to get untied.

"Lee, go do it." The father said, handing his son the key that Dean and I had come in to search for to free Kathleen and Sam. "Don't let him out though. Shoot him in the cage."

"What? I thought you said you're gonna hunt him, you're gonna give him a chance." Dean said suddenly.

The father looked at Dean. "Lee, when you're done with the boy, shoot the bitch too. We'll clean up this mess before any more cops come running around here."

The moment we heard a shot Dean yelled, "You hurt my brother I'll kill you, I swear. I'll kill you all, I WILL KILL YOU ALL!"

Father Bender called out for Lee but when he didn't answer he told his other son, Jerry to go with him to check, and left us with Missy—the little girl. It was actually kind of embarrassing that I had been stabbed by a 13 year-old girl, but I was trying not to dwell on it when Sam came in and got Dean and I untied as she ran off. I went after her even though I was bleeding and managed to lock her up in a closet before going back downstairs and trying to explain to Sam and Dean that I was fine.

"You need to have that looked at." Sam told me and Dean made a face and then cleared his throat a little which made Sam smirk. "Dean would you like to check her over and see if I missed something?"

"I believe Kathleen is still out there." Dean said and I nodded so we headed out to find her.

When we got outside she was coming out of the barn and when she asked where Missy was we explained where she was and I told her that I locked her in a closet. Then Dean wanted to know where Father Bender was and she said she shot him while he was trying to escape but I was pretty sure it was revenge. All I wanted to do was get to a hospital and I smiled at Dean when he let me lean on him for support…for some reason I was seriously falling for him.

"So, the State Police and the FBI are gonna be here within the hour, they're gonna want to talk to you…I suggest that you're both long gone by then." Kathleen explained after she talked to the sheriff station.

"Thanks." Dean replied. "Listen, I don't mean to press our luck but we're kinda in the middle of nowhere and she's been stabbed…think we could catch a ride?"

Kathleen nodded. "Start walking…duck if you see a squad car."

"Sounds great to me, thanks." Sam told her.

I smiled at her. "Don't worry I get it and there's honestly no hard feelings."

"Listen, huh…I'm sorry about your brother." Dean said slowly.

Kathleen smiled and nodded. "Thank you. It was really hard not knowing what happened to him, I thought it would be easier once I knew the truth, but…it isn't really. Anyway, you should go."

The three of us nodded and moved away from her, and Dean opened up my jacket and looked over my wound and I pushed his hand away when he got a worried look on his face. He sighed loudly and told me to stop, and I rolled my eyes and shook my head and then he gave me a look and I pointed to Sam—there was no way I was going to let him carry me when we had found Sam and Sam was all right.

"Don't ever do that again!" Dean scolded Sam.

Sam laughed a little. "Do what?"

"Go missing like that." Dean replied.

"You were worried about me." Sam told him happily.

Dean gave him a look. "All I'm saying is that you vanish like that again, I'm not looking for you."

"Sure you will." Sam told him.

"I'm not." Dean protested, but the three of us knew he really would.

It was actually kind of adorable the looks the two were giving each other and I wanted more than anything for them to stay this way forever. I envied their relationship—mostly because I missed Annie and the two of them seemed so close and so willing to do absolutely _anything_ for each other. The more time I spent with them, the more I wished that my sister was around and I really wished it hadn't been The more time I spent with them, the more I wished that my sister was around and I really wished it hadn't been _my fault_ she was gone.

"So, you got sidelined by a 13 year-old girl, huh?" Sam asked Dean with a laugh.

Dean gave him a look. "Oh shut up."

"Just saying you're getting rusty there, kiddo." Sam replied.

"Shut up." Dean told him laughing.

I smiled at them and then stopped and Dean turned around as we walked. "You know speaking of the creepy girl can you please carry me before I pass out?"

Dean smiled too as Sam reached out to stroke my hair and Dean picked me up, making a joke about how heavy I was that made me hit him in the shoulder, but we knew it was a joke…we knew that there was something about the moment that was bringing us closer together. It was kind of a weird thing to bring us together, but we were just getting closer and closer and I was okay with that.

**Note: Next chapter very soon—either tonight or tomorrow after work. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	10. That's the First Step, so Listen to John

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**All right now we're getting into the romance and the secrets and as it progresses I really do think it gets better.**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

xxxx

"Oh my God I'm fine." I told them as I sat up in the hospital bed. "Stop babying me—you're enjoying torturing me and I can't believe _you're_ letting him do it, Sammy."

Sam shrugged and smiled at me as Dean started to annoy me again with the spoon in the pudding. I didn't need to be fed and he knew it, but the three of us were kind of bored just sitting there waiting for the nurse to come back and tell me I was fit to leave. When Dean came at me with the 'helicopter spoon' again I smacked his arm and laughed when some of the pudding got upset and landed on his shirt.

"Oops…my bad." I said with a laugh.

Dean gave me a look. "You did that on purpose."

"I did no such thing, stop blaming the wounded." I replied, a grin on my face.

Dean smiled a little and then the doctor came in and told me I was free to go and so I shooed the boys out of the room and got dressed, all of us heading to the motel and then settling in and bonding some more. The three of us felt like a family and even though Dean and I still had yet to talk about _anything_ regarding my verbal vomit, it felt nice to be close to him and Sam. Then it happened…a visit from the past that I hadn't wanted to involve the boys in—especially since I'd been lying and now they were going to know about it.

"Chelsea?" I asked into the phone.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Little Lana." Chelsea said with playfulness in her voice.

"Wow. I didn't think I'd ever hear your voice again." I told her, and it was true—no matter what it was that I was lying about, I hadn't expected her to contact me ever again.

Chelsea laughed. "Well I never thought I'd try and help you."

"What's this about?" I asked her, looking around outside of the motel to make sure that Sam and Dean weren't around to ask me what was going on.

"This is about me showing you and Jennifer that I wasn't just something you two could push around—I have brains, brawn, and I know all about your little bonding with the Winchesters, and the man who can help you put your parents' souls at rest and the death of Jen's last boyfriend—it just comes at a price." She explained to me.

The only thing weirder than Chelsea calling me out of the blue was Chelsea calling me to barter away information. Knowing Chelsea and what she was capable of, I just took a deep breath and rubbed my temples and decided to play her little game with her. The only thing holding me back was how deep the involvement with Sam and Dean could potentially get and how much of a threat she could be to them.

"I thought it would." I told her finally when she made an annoyed noise at my silence. "What kind of price?"

"I want Dean Winchester." She said without skipping a beat.

I froze suddenly. "What?"

"That or his younger brother, Sam. Unless…you or Jen would rather sacrifice yourselves." Chelsea added with a little hope in her voice.

"Of course I'm going to sacrifice myself." I told her quickly, swallowing a little. "No questions asked."

"What?" I heard Dean say.

I turned around and shushed him by putting my finger to my mouth and he gave me a look and I knew we'd be talking about this soon. It wasn't that I didn't want to somehow tell them 'goodbye', it was just that I didn't want them making a big deal about things and babying me. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately and this was just going to make them baby me more.

"Just tell me where I need to meet you, and I'll come alone and unarmed so you can sacrifice me or whatever." I told her and Dean gave me a concerned look.

"Alley behind the church. Tomorrow night. Better show or I'll take someone precious to you." Chelsea explained to me.

Before I could say anything, Chelsea hung up and I turned to Dean and sighed as I pocketed my cell phone and he started to talk to me. He hated that I was being secretive and when I said it was just a joke between Jen and I and I needed to go see her, he saw right through my lie. Then he was even _more_ upset that I was lying to him when he and Sam could help me with whatever it was that I was hiding from them.

"You're not sacrificing yourself." Dean told me firmly.

I took a deep breath. "I don't think that you get to tell me what I can and can't do."

Dean was rather upset that I would even _say_ something like that to him and in a huff he was back in the motel room and I was sighing because this wasn't his fault and I had no right to take anything out on him. So I followed him into the motel room and he sat in a huff on the bed, me and Sam making direct eye contact and him nodding. He and I always seemed to be on the exact same page, and I smiled at him when he kissed the top of my head and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, leaving the motel room.

I took that moment to climb onto the bed with Dean and he gave me a look so I kissed him and when he didn't respond, I pulled away and pouted a little. He narrowed his eyes a little at the emotional manipulation, but when I kissed him this time, he returned it, his hand going into my hair. I wanted more than anything for him to just talk to me about my little outburst but I wasn't going to force anything on him—I wanted Dean Winchester to come around in his own time anyway.

"Sam gave us some space…" I whispered as Dean bit the hollow of my neck softly making me smile and moan softly.

Dean nodded and kissed the bite mark. "I caught the look between the two of you."

"Oh, so you're not _completely_ brain dead and oblivious then?" I asked him, giggling when he rolled his eyes at me and in one quick movement pinned me to the bed.

"You mind telling me what that phone conversation was about?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head and sat up a little, pulling off my shirt and wishing that would be enough for us to move on but Dean was stubborn and he wasn't letting it go. Even when I kissed him and he kissed me back, the moment we pulled away for air he asked me the same question and I sighed. It wasn't something I wanted to talk about or come clean about and if these were our last intimate moments together, I wanted some damn action.

"I think we can talk later." I told him.

He shook his head. "We're not having sex until you explain the phone call."

I nodded and then gave him a look, and he nodded too and got off of me. When I grabbed my shirt from the floor where it had been tossed and went to put it on, Dean told me I was being selfish and that wasn't what family was about. The notion that he thought of me as family almost made me tell him, but when I turned around he had already dialed Sam to get him to come back so I just sighed and dropped it, ending up sleeping in Sam's bed that night because Dean was upset.

I couldn't blame him, and it was those thoughts that made me have trouble falling asleep that night. When I woke up the next morning, I stretched and then saw that Dean wasn't on his bed and I turned to look at Sam. I smiled at him and pushed his hair out of his face—he was so adorable when he slept. As he stirred I returned to the feeling that something was definitely wrong, and I got up and went to the door, looking at how it seemed precarious even though it looked fine—then I saw the note. I saw the note and suddenly everything was wrong and I started to panic. The note read:

_Dean's with me. Show up before he learns the_

_truth—unless you don't mind him learning_

_about your little secrets…_

I showed Sam the note and sighed. "I don't have any idea why the two of you even tolerate me in the first place."

"What is going on here, Lan?" Sam asked me.

I took a deep breath. "It's the return of my past."

I knew that he wanted more than that, but I was already grabbing my jacket and then raising an eyebrow at Chelsea calling me. She was bored that I hadn't been there sooner and when I explained I was just about to head to a library and a store to get some information and some things to do a spell to track her down, she told me it was more fun for her if I just showed up. So I hurried to the coordinates that she had given me and I swallowed when Sam said my name in an annoyed tone and gave me a look.

"Chelsea?" Sam asked me.

"My name sounds so much hotter when little Sammy Winchester says it." Chelsea said, licking her fangs.

Sam shot her a look. "Don't call me that."

"Oh, I forgot—only your brother and your little girl friend can call you that. Lana, Lana, Lana I thought you'd be here sooner." Chelsea mocked me with a laugh.

"Well you called—didn't that defeat the purpose of watching us squirm to get to you?" I asked her.

When I gave her a look and laughed she didn't look as amused and made a sudden movement that I wasn't ready to anticipate. Chelsea grabbed my throat, and though I could tell that Dean wanted to cry out and get her to let me go, a sound never escaped his lips and with one move she had tossed Sam away from us. I squirmed a little and then looked her in the eye as she looked at me angrily.

"I'm going to kill you and then Dean, and possibly leave Sam alive for my own pleasure." Chelsea said, winking at Sam who looked disgusted. "You people are way too good at killing demons."

"Let her go!" Sam said, hitting Chelsea when he got back over to us.

She flinched a little, but her vampire strength and her ability to read minds was the only thing that kept her on her feet. I watched her as she gave him a look and then she turned to Dean and smiled. It annoyed me that she was smiling at him like she knew so much and the problem was she did…she knew so much that could threaten our already fragile right now balance of things.

"Dean and I had a little chat about things while you two weren't here." Chelsea said and shrugged, tightening her grip around my throat a little. "He's a little pissed that _someone_—I'm not naming names—didn't tell him the truth about me."

I tried to swallow. "You mean about how Jenny and I stupidly let you get exposed?"

"Yeah…how you and Jennifer get people you care about killed." Chelsea explained.

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me, Lanni." Dean told me, hurt in his voice and he wasn't even trying to mask it as Chelsea moved the hair away from my neck, licking my skin so she could bite me.

Sam seemed hurt about it too and I kicked a little and Chelsea smiled at me, glad that she had managed to put a wedge in between me and the boys. It was rather annoying too that neither of them was making a move towards me, not because they didn't care, but because they were still a little stunned that I kept such a vital secret. Honestly the secret could have gotten us all killed and I was feeling bad enough about it, but it was worse when Chelsea grinned, and ran her incisors along my flesh. Right when she was about to bite me Sam finally moved towards us and stabbed her through the heart with a stake I had given him before we came in, and she screamed, making me double forward to get her voice out of my ear, and then I turned to see her burst into ashes right in front of me.

"That's not the end of her…" I said softly.

"That is an odd way for a vampire to die, but," Sam turned to give me a look, "are you kidding me?"

"Chelsea…she has tricks up her sleeves." I told him and then went to untie Dean, who pulled away from me and I nodded slowly. "We should get back to the motel and I need to call Jenny and let her know what's up."

"Maybe you should just go back to Kansas." Dean spat at me hostilely and then headed out of the warehouse and Sam looked at me sadly.

I knew that he didn't want me to leave and he told me to give him and Dean a little time, but that he didn't want me to just take off. Truth was I knew Chelsea would be back, and I knew this was not the time to leave them so I just decided to go ahead and go back to the motel, even though Dean wasn't talking to me. Oh well…I was sticking around to help them and to let them know that they were still my family and in fact in a little over a week later as the three of us accepted that we were going to be a team even though Dean still had yet to even speak to me. It was mostly me and Sam doing the bonding and it was the two of us that got wind of a hunt and told Dean so we headed to a young woman named Meredith's building.

"Manhunt continues for Stealth Killer—second murder in 2 months." Sam said while Dean got a bag out of the trunk.

I fixed the ridiculous "Pierce-Franklin Alarm Systems" outfit I was wearing that the boys were outfitted with as well and sighed. It wasn't that I didn't like dressing up to lie—that was my favorite part, dressing up—it was that I felt like my time could be better spent doing more research while Sam and Dean actually looked around inside, but they were babying me. They were worried that without them around to protect me I couldn't handle myself or something and that bothered me…it bothered me a lot—I could take care of myself no matter how "sweet" the gesture of protection was.

Mostly, though, I got the feeling that they just didn't _trust_ me on my own anymore.

Even so, we got into the apartment because the landlady believed our story, and after closing the apartment door, Dean noticed the security chain was cut. Dean explained to the lady that we were just seeing what was wrong so we could stop it from happening again. Then Sam asked the hard questions—like if she was the one who found the body—and she explained to us that she had, and that it had been a few days after she had died…she had been alerted by the smell.

To make things more exciting, the windows weren't broken, the door was bolted and the security chain was on the door since they had to cut it to get in to retrieve the body. Moreover, the alarm was on, and there had been absolutely no sign of struggle at all when the policemen and investigators had been searching things.

"Everything was in perfect condition…except Meredith." She explained to us.

Sam nodded slowly. "In what condition was Meredith then?"

"Meredith was all over, in pieces. The guy who killed her must have been some kind of whack job. But I tell you, if I didn't know any better, I would have said a wild animal did it." She told him.

We gave the apartment a once-over without her and found some EMF residue which honestly got me incredibly excited. It wasn't people dying or anything—it was the exhilaration of a hunt and the satisfaction of stopping something and saving lives. Now we just had to figure out what exactly we were dealing with so we could research it a little more and stop it before it struck again so we headed to the police station and Sam and I waited out in the car.

"I wish he'd look at me." I told Sam, who nodded and gave me a small smile as Dean came back out to the car.

"You say you talked to the cops?" Sam asked him.

"Huh…yeah, I spoke to Amy, the charming perky officer of the law." Dean said with a grin on his face.

Sam nodded to prompt Dean continue. "Yeah? What did you find out?"

"She's a Sagittarius, she loves tequila, I mean…" He sighed happily and smiled a little more when I scoffed. "…and she's got that little tattoo…"

"Dean!" Sam and I scolded him.

"What? Yeah…huh, nothing we don't already know. Except for one thing they're keeping out of the papers." Dean told us and we both gave him looks and he was no longer having fun with his game. "Meredith's heart was missing."

I nodded and pointed at the shape of blood on the pictures. "Well it's not a werewolf—the lunar cycle is not right. Plus, if it was a creature, it would've left some kind of trace. It's probably a spirit…what the Hell is that symbol?"

None of us knew and so we headed to a bar and Sam let me look over John's journal while I looked things up on my laptop, Dean at the bar flirting. I knew that I deserved his not trusting me, but it was driving me crazy seeing him hitting on random girls. It was too much to ask for him to talk it out with me—or even just _yell_ at me—and I knew I was going to have to deal with it but we were also doing a goddamn heart and he was my freaking Winchester! Oh God…no more confessions, Lana…stop…

"I talked to the bartender." Dean told us when he came to rejoin us, a napkin in hand.

Sam nodded. "Did you get anything, besides her number?"

"Dude, I'm a professional, I'm offended that you would think that." Dean told us but we weren't convinced _or_ impressed. "All right, here." He said proudly, showing us the napkin, making sure I saw it.

"Would you mind doing a little bit of thinking with your upstairs brain, Dean?" I asked him. "You could at least _pretend_ that you're taking this seriously."

He seemed amused that I was so upset and smirked a little. "There's nothing to find out: Meredith worked here, she waited tables, everyone here's her friend, everybody says she's normal. She didn't do or say anything weird before she died. So, what about that symbol? Did you find anything?"

"No, nothing. Nowhere in Dad's journal or in the usual books, I just have to dig a little deeper I guess, but with Lan's help I'll get there." Sam explained.

It was apparently Dean's turn to scoff and I rolled my eyes when he made a joke about how Sam and I were just the perfect team, and then I sighed loudly when Dean wiggled his eyebrows at us. Sam cut into the tension between us by mentioning the first victim, Ben Swardstrom, which was good because otherwise I could not have been held responsible for my violence towards Dean. Basically a month prior, he was found mutilated in his house which was locked with the alarm on and Sam still didn't know the link between the banker and the waitress cause so far they had nothing in common.

"To recap, the only successful intel we've scored so far is the bartender's phone number." Dean replied in a cheeky tone.

I was going to react to him but I caught Sam's gaze and noticed the blonde that he was looking at. He stood up as she made her way over to him and apparently her name was Meg and they knew each other and he asked her why she wasn't still in California. Mostly I was worried because she had a weird aura about her and I wasn't impressed at all by her…I was worried about the potential danger to the boys she could present—blame my instincts.

"Oh, I came, I saw, I conquered. Oh, and I met…what's his name… something Malcolm Murray, at a bar." She told him with a smile.

Dean was surprised by her "The Ballad of Malcolm Murray" reference, and then Sam asked her if she was from Chicago, she informed him that she was from Andover, Massachusetts. Sam nodded and Dean got a little antsy about being in the conversation and cleared his throat so that his brother would realize that he was in need of attention. The action made me smack Dean in the arm and at the same time Meg reacted and Sam turned to face Dean and me.

"Dude, cover your mouth!" Meg told Dean.

"Meg, this is my brother Dean and next to him is Lana…pretty much the same as before only deeper in." Sam explained and blushed a little.

Meg nodded slowly. "So you're Lana? I guess your feelings for Dean are more than just slight now?"

I was shocked but Dean was flattered and asked, "So you heard of me?"

"I heard of you. Nice, the way you treat your brother like luggage." She told him angrily.

"Sorry?" He asked her, confused and no longer smiling.

She nodded. "Why don't you let him do what he wants to do? Stop dragging him over God's Green Earth."

"Meg, it's alright." Sam told her.

Dean nodded slowly and whistled. "Okay, awkward. I'm gonna get a drink now."

He gave Sam a look and I smiled awkwardly and told her it was nice to meet her before I followed after Dean and sat next to him at the bar. For just then he seemed less angry with me because of how Meg had reacted to him and I sighed a little and I reached out to grasp his hand and was surprised he actually let me touch him. A slight smile spread across my face and when he looked up at me and made actual, direct eye contact I felt even better about things.

"What kind of terrible things do you think he told her about me?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged and smiled a little. "You're his big brother and he looks up to you…I highly doubt he just bad mouthed you the whole time he was with her. I'm more worried about the fact that he blabbed all about my feelings for you at a time when I was pretending I didn't have them. How did Sam even know?"

"I thought you were supposed to be the observational one." Dean told me with a laugh.

I pushed him in the arm hard and then we saw Sam making his way back over to us and we headed out of the bar and Dean asked Sam how he knew Meg and Sam sighed. He knew what I knew—Dean was pissed that Sam would say something bad about him behind his back and I wanted to know what she knew too. Sam explained that he met her right after he and Dean fought in Indiana—during the time period when he wasn't calling me or returning my calls.

"I think there's something strange going on here, guys." Sam explained to us.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, tell me about it, she wasn't even that into me."

"No, man. I mean, like our kind of strange, like maybe even a lead." Sam said when I smacked Dean upside the head and he grabbed my hand.

"Dean!" I chastised when he grabbed my other one too. "Let go!"

"Why would you say that?" Dean asked Sam, holding my hands behind my back and still walking me out to the car.

Sam chuckled a little when I squirmed. "I met Meg weeks ago, literally on the side of the road and now I run into her in some random Chicago bar. I mean the same bar where a waitress was slaughtered by something supernatural. You don't think that's a little weird?"

"I don't know: random coincidence. It happens." Dean replied.

"You let me go right now or I'm kicking you where it hurts." I threatened and Dean chuckled and kept his hold. "What? You don't think I will?"

Dean shook his head. "Nope…you're not going to hurt my cargo."

I sighed because he was right. "Please just let go."

"I'm looking for an apology for assaulting my head." Dean explained to me.

"Well you're not getting one." I told him and sighed because he was still holding my hands behind my back.

"Guys, focus, please, all right. Coincidences _don't_ happen to us. I could be wrong; I'm just saying there's something about that girl that I can't put my finger on." Sam said and then pushed on Dean. "Let her go."

Dean sighed and nodded letting go of my hands and shooting me a warning glance when I smacked him arm. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head, calling us children, and then Dean smirked at his brother and it was _my_ turn to roll my eyes. Maybe I was acting like a child but Dean and I needed to have an actual conversation and he wasn't going to give it to me unless I pushed him for one and I didn't want to push! Why was liking him so goddamn hard?

"I bet you'd like to put a finger on it. Maybe she's not a suspect, maybe you've got a thing for her, maybe you think a little too much with the upstairs brain, huh?" Dean asked his brother, raising his eyebrows playfully and pointing down at Sam's crotch.

"Do me a favor: check and see if there's really a Meg Marsters from Andover, Massachusetts, and see if you can dig anything up on that symbol on Meredith's floor." Sam told us and I nodded.

Dean made a face. "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna watch Meg." Sam replied with a shrug.

Dean chuckled. "Ah, ah, yeah, you are…"

"I'll try to see what's what…better safe than sorry." Sam explained to him.

"Alright, you little pervert." Dean said and I couldn't help but crack a smile.

Sam left Dean and me in the motel and we started to research as Sam took the Impala to go and check on Meg, and it was pretty easy to look up Meg Marsters—the woman really existed. Dean found the information on her while I looked up the symbol and showed it to him, him nodding, but not really smiling _at_ me…just smiling that we had the information in front of us. So then he picked up his phone and called up Sam, teasing him about his way of showing affection and after I smacked him playfully and he grabbed my hand I swallowed…our fingers interlaced and he just held my hand in his lap.

"Yeah, Lanni found the symbol—it's a Zoroastrian symbol…I'll let her tell you about it." Dean said, and handed me the phone, still holding my hand with his other one and looking at me.

I blushed a little and put the phone up to my ear with my free hand. "Hey, Sammy. Um…the symbol is actually used to summon a kind of demon of darkness called Daeva whose origin goes back to 2000 BC and nobody knows its real appearance. They're really savage and from what I've found, the demon must be summoned so somebody's controlling it, Sam—somebody who really knows his stuff."

"All right…well…I'll keep my eye out." Sam told me.

"Sounds like a plan—hey, your brother is making annoying hand gestures so uh…here he is again." I told Sam with a laugh and gave Dean the phone as Sam chuckled too.

"Why don't you go give her a private strip-o-gram? No, but bite her—not too hard though that would leave a mar—Sam? Sammy?" Dean asked and then chuckled, Sam obviously having hung up on him.

I laughed a little and then randomly reached out to stroke Dean's hair. He turned to me and leaned in a little and I wished he wasn't still holding my hand in his lap because he was kind of starting to take my breath away. When I swallowed he glanced at my lips and smirked at me, then he let go of my hand and stood up to go to his duffle and I made a face. Had he seriously just done that? Left me hanging completely after making it look like he was going to kiss me?

"Are we ever going to talk about any of this?" I asked him suddenly even though I knew it wasn't the time.

Dean chuckled a little. "I think we pretty much talked about the symbol already—and how that Meg chick has no idea what she's talking about."

"I meant about how I feel about you, Idiot." I told him rolling my eyes. "I mean are you even going to acknowledge it?"

"No…because feelings are a weakness and they could get us killed." Dean replied and then he slowly turned to look at me as I nodded. "Come on, Lanni, don't look so down—what did you _want_ me to say? Did you want me to ask you to be my girlfriend? Promise not to hit on any other girls and commit to you? If any demon caught wind of how much you meant to me, we'd both have Hell to pay—literally."

I got what he was saying and I wanted to be really upset but then I went over what he had said: "If any demon caught wind of how much you meant to me, we'd both have Hell to pay—literally". That meant that Dean had feelings for me—he was suppressing them, but he had them and even if he hadn't realized he'd said it, they were there. It annoyed me that he wouldn't just admit it and maybe stop glancing at me and then looking away, but I promised I wouldn't push…I promised that I would give him his space and be professional and so I had to keep my promise.

"I was having some negative vibes earlier with Meg…do you think that maybe she has something to do with the symbol?" I asked Dean with a shrug, trying to change the subject. "I mean Sam also thinks something is wrong…that something is up with her."

Dean looked at me. "Why didn't you tell me you were getting bad vibes from her sooner?"

"Because in all honesty I was getting bad vibes from the bartender but do you really think she has something to do with the symbol?" I asked him.

Dean took a deep breath and then he nodded, opening his mouth to say something but then deciding against it and then Sam came running in the door. We were going to have a heart-heart because I was going to say something to him that I thought needed to be said, but the look on Sam's face made me rethink everything. I had to focus on the mission at hand and Sam looked like he had some information for us so Dean and I focused every bit of our attention on him.

"I gotta talk to you!" Sam exclaimed. "That symbol? Meg had an altar with that symbol on it and she was communicating with someone."

"With who? With the Daeva?" Dean asked him.

Sam shook his head. "No, you said those things were savages. No, this is something different; someone is giving her orders, someone who's coming to that warehouse."

"Well Dean called Amy earlier and found out that both of the victims were from Lawrence…so we all kind of fit the bill on this one." I explained to him.

"What if she has something to do with whatever killed Mom?" Sam asked us.

I bit my lip. "Guys this feels like something big so I think we should stick together on this. Normally I would support splitting up—questioning Meg _and_ taking out that altar of hers but…what if something bad happens?"

"I have to agree with Lanni when she puts it like that…I don't think we should do this alone." Dean agreed.

I saw the look in his eyes and I swallowed reaching out and grasping his hand while Sam grabbed a duffle and put some things in it. Dean opened up his phone and dialed his father's number and I smiled a little when he grasped my hand and looked at me as it rang. Then it was obvious that it went to his voicemail and though Dean looked mighty crestfallen, he just left a message.

"We think that we've got a serious lead on the thing that killed Mom so, this warehouse, its 1435 West Erie. Dad, if you get this, get to Chicago as soon as you can." Dean explained, and then hung up the phone and pocketed it.

Sam came back into the room and shrugged a little at his collection of warfare. "I'm not sure what to expect so I guess we should just expect everything, huh?"

We started to get all of the weapons put together, and I couldn't help but wonder how I was going to fit into their lives if we killed the demon that killed their mother. That was all that John had ever wanted according to Dean, and honestly I wasn't sure Sam would stick around after this—Sam wanted a normal life someday…he didn't want to hunt forever. Dean on the other hand…Dean was the one I had no idea about because as sure as I was that he'd keep hunting, he was full of surprises still.

"Big night." Dean said suddenly and I looked up and smiled as they spoke to one another.

"Yeah. Nervous?" Sam asked him.

Dean shook his head. "No, no. Are you?"

"No, no way. Yeah, could you imagine if we actually found that damn thing, that demon?" Sam asked him a little excited.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, alright?" Dean told him.

Sam nodded. "I know, I'm just saying, what if we did? What if this whole thing was over tonight? Man, I'd sleep for a month, go back to school—just be a person again."

"You wanna go back to school?" Dean asked him.

Sam and I both looked at him and I knew that there was going to be a small sort of row and I didn't think I should be in the room for it. Part of me wanted to stay and hear what was going to be said but it didn't feel like it was any of my business so I wanted to give them their space. This was their problem and it had absolutely nothing to do with me even if they sometimes called me their family.

"Yeah, once we're done hunting the thing." Sam said with a nod.

"Huh..." Dean replied.

Sam gave him another look. "Why? Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, no, it's great, good for you." Dean told him and it didn't sound so sincere.

"I mean, what are you gonna do when it's all over?" Sam asked him as I started to cross to leave the room.

Dean shrugged a little. "It's never gonna be over, there's gonna be others so there'll always be something to hunt."

"But there's gotta be something that you want for yourself." Sam said as I made it to the bathroom door.

"I don't want you to leave the second this is over, Sam!" Dean answered as I turned the doorknob, and I watched Dean head over to the chest of drawers and lean on it as I went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, still listening through it.

It was a moment between them I shouldn't have been a part of and I wanted to let them talk things out amongst themselves. Whether we were bonded to each other or not, they were brothers and this was their fight, and it wasn't my place to be in between them. So I simply listened to them because I was curious, but I was keeping my two cents to myself on this one.

"Dude, what's your problem?" Sam asked him.

"Why do you think I drag you everywhere, huh? Why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place?" Dean countered.

There was a pause. "'Cause Dad was in trouble, 'cause he wanted to find the thing that killed Mom."

"Yes, that, but it's more than that, man. You and me, and Dad, I want us to…I want us to be together again—I want us to be a family again." Dean explained to him and I found the tears forming. "Hell I even want Lanni to be there with us."

I hadn't expected the last part and I perked my ears up…had he really just said that? Was I really _so_ important to him that he considered me part of their family? And was that even a thing to get so excited about?

"Dean, we _are_ a family. I'd do anything for you but things will never be the way they were before." Sam told him.

"They could be…" Dean said, and he actually sounded hopeful.

"I don't want them to be. I'm not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you're gonna have to let me go my own way." Sam replied after another pause. "And if you really want to keep Lan around, you're going to have to talk to her…you're going to have to let her in."

There was then silence between them, so after a few more moments I came out of the bathroom to go back to what I was doing and they simply glanced at me and then went back to what they had been doing as well. The talk seemed mostly out of their systems now, and so we finished up and went to the warehouse to see Meg and she was reciting incantations. Dean asked her where the Daeva was and Sam asked her who she was waiting for, and after telling us that weapons wouldn't harm the Daeva, she told us she'd been waiting for us and the Daeva appeared and attacked us.

If I haven't mentioned lately how much I hate being rendered unconscious and tied up…I have to mention it now. I came too after Dean did, and a little before Sam and realized I was bleeding just a little bit—bleeding _again_. Mostly I was worried about the boys though, and thinking about trusting my instincts just a little more since Meg actually _was_ bad news…since we were totally screwed since all three of us were now caught and bound up.

"Hey Sam, don't take this the wrong way but your girlfriend is a bitch." Dean told Sam when Sam came to.

Sam nodded slowly. "Yes, the whole thing was a trap. Running into you at the bar, following you here. Hearing what you had to say. It was all set up wasn't it? And that the victims were from Lawrence…"

"Doesn't mean anything. It was just to draw you in, that's all." Meg replied and looked at me. "I expected you to figure it out sooner what with all of your little combined talents."

"You killed those 2 people for nothing?" Dean asked her after he glanced at me because of what Meg said.

Meg shrugged a little, still looking at me. "Maybe—I've killed a lot more for a lot less."

I didn't like the way she was looking at me and neither did Dean or Sam, but what worried me the _most_ was that she acted like she knew things about me—things about me that I didn't want anyone to know until I was ready to tell them. Dean was being cheeky, and Sam had things figured out, and I was starting to think that Meg was going to spill everything and I couldn't have that.

"You trapped us, good for you. It's "Miller time", why don't you kill us already?" Dean asked her.

Meg looked at Dean finally. "Not very quick on the uptake, are we? This trap isn't for you."

"Dad. It's a trap for Dad." Sam said out loud.

Dean scoffed at her. "Oh sweetheart, you're dumber than you look, 'cause even if Dad was in town, which he is not, he wouldn't walk into something like this, he's too good."

"He's pretty good, I'll give you that, but, you see," She told him, getting closer to him and it was making me annoyed with her even more, "he has one weakness."

"What's that?" Dean asked her with attitude.

I spoke up. "You and Sam. Whether he answers your calls or not, he's your father and you're his boys and if he thinks this will avenge Mary, he's gonna show."

Meg smiled. "You're smarter than I pegged you for, Lana—on top of that I happen to know he is in town and he'll come and try to save you and then the Daevas will kill everybody. Nice and slow and messy."

"Well, I've got news for you: it's gonna take a lot more than some shadow to kill him." Dean told her firmly.

"Oh, the Daevas are in the room here, they're invisible; their shadows are just the only part you can see." Meg explained.

I looked around and I swallowed a little, wishing I didn't feel as helpless as I did right then, and then Sam spoke up and I looked at him. He and Dean were worried about John, and I knew that if we could figure something out then we could get out of this mess alive. So I tried to get out of my restraints without alerting Meg as she smiled at Sam.

"Why are you doing this, Meg? What kind of deal have you got worked out here, huh? And with who?" Sam asked her firmly.

Meg shrugged a little. "I'm doing this for the same reasons you do what you do: loyalty, love, like the love you have for Mommy…and Jess."

"Go to Hell." Sam told her when she mentioned Jessica.

"Baby, I'm already there." Meg replied.

I watched as she got closer to Sam and told him that she knew how he felt about her—that she knew he had watched her changing. It was kind of disturbing to watch her hit on Sam so strongly like that and then I noticed that Dean was trying to cut through his ropes and I wished I felt naked without a knife too. In fact I really wanted to be out of the room when Sam started to kind of hit on her back and she heard Dean's knife and headed over to him, taking his knife and throwing it away.

"Are you just trying to distract me while your brother gets free?" She asked Sam.

Sam shook his head. "No, no, it's because I have a knife of my own."

He pushed her back from him and Dean told him to go and take care of the altar, leaving me to close my eyes and focus as the Daevas appeared again and took Meg, sending her flying out the window. I got out of my restraints before Dean made it over to me and then we went to the window to see Meg's body sprawled out on the street. Dean wanted to ask me how I got out of my restraints with no knife or anything, but it wasn't the time or place for that conversation, so we all headed back to the motel instead, Sam still holding the bag containing the different weapons. When we entered the room there was a figure standing in front of the window and when he turned I knew I went pale—he was the man from my dreams…the man that Bethany and Marcus had been telling me to find.

"Dad!" Dean said, and I had to do a double take when I realized that the man I was supposed to find was in fact Sam and Dean's father, John Winchester…and Dean looked _so_ happy to be in the same room with him.

"Hey boys." He answered before embracing Dean when Dean headed over to him, and then he looked at Sam. "Hi Sam."

"Hey Dad." He told him before putting down his bag.

Then John looked at me when Dean apologized for not knowing it was a trap and I swallowed because the look he gave me reminded me of the look Meg had given me—somehow he knew who I was but I'd never seen him before…not before my dreams anyway. Dean and Sam noticed the look and then Dean piped in and told him that I was Lana, their hunting companion and I held out my hand and John shook it slowly.

"Nice to meet you." He told me with a smile, giving me a once-over.

I smiled as best I could. "You too…um…how long have you been here?"

"I got there just in time to see the girl take the swan dive. She was the bad guy right?" John asked them, he and I still looking at each other, our hands still in each other's.

"Yes, sir." They answered in unison as I just nodded.

xx

**John's POV**

The moment I had seen Lana, I was suddenly assaulted with images of Florence Meckenzie in my mind and I didn't know what to do. It was obvious by the look in her eyes that she knew that I knew more about her than I was letting on and in all honesty…I did. She was keeping secrets and so was I and didn't quite know what to do right now because part of me wanted to get her as far away from my boys as possible.

I knew that there were things that I didn't know about Florence and Lana, but I certainly knew that there was something demonic about her daughters. Florence and Mary had known each other rather well and I knew that no matter what happened here and now, I was still in Florence's debt for what she'd done for me and for the boys. In fact the only one that would remember Florence is Dean, and even then, I didn't think he really remember all that much from when he was 4 and 5…especially if Florence's charms on their memories were still in place.

All I knew was that Lana was a rather important and dangerous asset, but she looked as if she was honestly also confused. She knew me from somewhere and we'd talk, but she was raised by her foster parents and I didn't have any reason to kill her…not that I would kill either of Florence's daughters. I was just rather surprised to see Lana here with the boys and even more surprised to see the looks that Dean was giving her—the same kind of looks that I used to give Mary, only I knew he was holding back to protect her.

xx

**Lana's POV**

I didn't know how to just bring up that I needed John's help with my parents' spirits while we were on a hunt that had nothing to do with them, and I had no idea how to talk to him with the boys there without spilling things I didn't want to spill. How did he know me anyway? It was obvious that there were things he didn't want the boys to know about me and with Dean glancing at me like he was jealous I was still touching his father and Sam wondering what the Hell was going on…I was surprised John and I were remaining so damn calm here.

"Good. Though, it doesn't surprise me, it's tried to stop me before." John told them, pulling me out of my thoughts as he dropped my hand.

"The demon has?" Sam asked him.

John nodded. "He knows I'm close—it knows I'm gonna kill it…not just exorcise or send it back to Hell, actually kill it."

"How?" Dean and I asked him.

"I'm working on that." John replied smiling.

"Well, let us come with you, we'll help." Sam told him. "Lana is also a perfect addition to the team—even Dean thinks so."

John smiled at me like he knew all about me and Dean, and then shook his head. "No Sam. Not yet. Listen—try to understand…this demon is a scary son of a bitch. I don't want you caught in the crossfire, I don't want you hurt. I'm sure that Lana can handle herself too, but this is too dangerous."

"Dad, you don't have to worry about us." Sam tried.

"Of course I do, I'm your father." John answered, tears welling up in Sam's eyes. "Listen Sammy, last time we were together we had one Hell of a fight."

Sam nodded slowly. "Yes sir."

"It's good to see you again. It's been a long time." John said sincerely.

"Too long." Sam nodded, and John smiled a little and hugged him close and I wiped a tear away.

Dean reached out and stroked my hair and I smiled at him a little, John looking over at us and then me going over to Sam and moving the duffle, turning to see John whisper something to Dean and then pull away. I raised an eyebrow because Dean looked miffed, and shook his head, but John's smile made him nod slowly and then the Daevas attacked and ruined the moment. They went after John first and then me and the boys and when I mentioned light, Sam took a flare bomb out of the duffle and it went off, the shadows disappearing long enough for the four of us to head out of the room. Sam wanted to leave immediately, but Dean shook his head a little and it looked like he was making a really tough decision in his head.

"Wait, wait, wait! Sam, wait. Dad, you can't come with us." Dean told him.

"What? What are you talking about?" Sam asked Dean, totally miffed.

"Hey boys, you're beat to Hell." John told them and then reached out to move some of my hair out of my face to reveal a cut and I just let him. "You should get Lana looked at."

I smiled at him a little. "I can handle myself, thank you."

"We'll be alright." Dean assured him, though he checked my wound too.

Sam made a face. "Dean, we should stick together…we'll go after this demon—"

"—Sam, listen to me. We almost got Dad killed in there. Don't you understand? They're not gonna stop. They're gonna try again, they're gonna use us to get to him. Maybe Meg was right: Dad's vulnerable when he's with us. He…he's stronger without us around." Dean explained and when he glanced at me, I knew he was trying to get this 'feelings' thing through to me and I nodded slowly.

"Dad, no." Sam said, putting his hand on his shoulder. "After everything…after all the time we've been looking for you. Please, I've got to be a part of this fight."

John smiled at him a little. "This fight is just starting, and we are all gonna have a part to play. For now, you have to trust me son, okay? You've got to let me go."

Sam didn't want to but he nodded slowly and John headed for the car after telling us all to be careful and I knew that he was going to keep in touch—that I was going to have to get John's number out of Dean's phone. We watched John drive off and then we got into the Impala and drove a different direction and I knew Meg was watching…I knew we hadn't seen the end of her. I told them I was pretty sure she wasn't gone for good even _if_ we'd seen her body on the ground and they thought I was just tired and drained even if by now they trusted my instincts. So I let it go until we got to the motel and Sam went into the bathroom to get ready for bed and Dean suddenly spoke up.

"He says I picked right." Dean told me.

I turned to face him. "What?"

"I think he thinks that I have feelings for you." Dean said and he shrugged it off but he swallowed when I walked up to him and looked directly at him.

"You do." I replied and smiled when he looked me in the eye and gave me a look. "Maybe you should stop punishing yourself—and me in the process—and come out and admit that you're feeling for me what I'm feeling for you."

Dean shook his head. "Lanni…I can't do that. I can't be a reason for getting you killed."

I rolled my eyes and kissed him, pouring myself into him. He responded for a moment but when I tried to deepen the kiss more he pushed me off of him softly and shook his head, looking at me with sad eyes.

"I am not going to be a reason for you getting killed." He repeated.

I nodded slowly. "Tell me you don't have feelings for me, Dean—and say it truthfully. Honestly and truly tell me that there is absolutely nothing between us."

"What is the point in that?" He asked me.

"The point is that you can't say it…you can't say it because there's something between us and you're as scared as I am about it but the difference is _I'm_ willing to face it." I explained to him.

Dean didn't like the implication that he was a coward and kissed me, wrapping his arms around me and then moving one hand from my lower back to my hair as I deepened the kiss this time and he didn't pull away. I held him close to me and then when he pulled back our eyes met and he smiled a little, and I knew that the closeness was at least making me happy and I felt accomplished. Things were different even _without_ his vocal recognition of that but I needed the vocalization and he seemed to know me well enough to give it to me.

"I care about you…I care about you a lot." Dean admitted, the sad look returning because he didn't want his weakness for me or my weakness for him to ruin us.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly. "Baby, that's the first step."

**Note: More soon, I promise! I love where this is heading! Some of my favorite ideas are coming up so stay tuned…and feedback is always appreciated.**


	11. Dean is Falling, Oh Hello Kevin

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is a little angsty, and me having fun with love triangles that aren't love triangles, but kind of and there's a little smut so there's the warning.**

**Also, JEN IS BACK! Along with someone else…**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Waking up to Dean actually there in the morning was heavenly—it really was. I stirred that morning and cringed a little, feeling the bruise that was still there from being stabbed. The soft chuckle I heard next made me open my eyes, and since Dean was grinning at me, I couldn't help but smile a little too, but my attitude was still in tact. The fact of the matter was that I had cringed and he was now _laughing_ at me.

"Oh, so you find my pain amusing?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows at him.

Dean shrugged as he smiled. "Maybe a little."

"Well you better take it back." I told him, biting my lips as he looked at them. "Are you paying attention to me at all?"

"Something about you being commanding and thinking I'm listening." Dean replied with a shrug, still focused on my mouth with his eyes.

I smirked a little. "Oh, and now you're being cheeky, eh?"

I turned my head to look over to see where Sam was since I didn't hear any gags or laughing and when he wasn't there I looked over to the table in the small motel room and wondered where Sam was. It wasn't that I didn't want to focus all of my attention on Dean it was just that as nice as it was to finally have his undivided attention, Sam could walk in _any_ minute. He could walk right in and then all of our little fun would be interrupted anyway so why even start it?

"When did Sam step out?" I asked him when I looked back at him, smiling a little and rolling my eyes when he looked at my lips again. "What is so fascinating about my mouth, Dean? Is it the lip biting?"

Dean smirked when I bit my lip again. "It could be the lip biting."

"If you're going to kiss me you have to keep it—" I tried, but Dean's lips collided with mine when I tried to speak to him.

I kissed him back and slid my fingers into his hair, loving the feel of his warm lips on mine—loving that his lips were a little chapped. Then I felt his right hand on my knee, and I shook my head a little as he started to trace his fingertips along my skin, up my thigh. When he bit my bottom lip softly though and sucked on it I felt like I had to keep the kissing going but his hand was on the move so I stopped it with mine.

"Okay, lovely as this is…no." I told him softly, my eyes darting to the door and then back to him. "What if Sam walks in while we're starting something? I am _not_ going to be caught in a compromising position."

Dean sighed a little and then nodded. "That's your phone."

"I know it is." I told him with a smile, reaching over to the nightstand and picking it up. "Hey, Jenny!"

"Lan! I'm glad I caught you! Okay, um…you're not going to believe this but uh…Kevin is back."

I sat up a little, startled and Dean's whole demeanor changed. "Kevin? Jenny…Kevin's dead…isn't he?"

"Apparently he's just been held hostage. I kinda need you here." Jen replied in a pleading voice as I nodded.

"Of course, Jenny! I'll be right there as soon as I can!" I informed her. "I love you, hon—keep me posted on his condition."

She told me that she would and after she told me she loved me too we hung up the phone and then I got up from the bed and hurried to my duffle. Dean was giving me one of those looks as I opened my phone back up to call Sam, and then when I had told Sam that we had to go to Lawrence again, he gave me another look and I hung up with Sam and then looked Dean in the eye. I took a deep breath and decided that since we were in a "kind-of/sort-of" relationship, he deserved to know all the news first.

"Kevin was Jen's boyfriend for a long time—they were desperately in love and we all thought they were gonna get married and then procreate and have freaking adorable babies. Then Kevin was kidnapped and we were all pretty certain he was dead—or you know…._worse_ than that—and so Jen had to move on and it was hard for her. Apparently…apparently he is alive." I told Dean with a small shrug. "He's been kidnapped for a long while and Jen's looking into it but she needs me."

Dean nodded and got out of the bed too, standing next to me. "Of course she does. When Sam gets back we'll all head out to Lawrence."

"What?" I asked him with a smile when he chuckled at me.

"Nothing just…are those man boxers?" Dean asked me, looking at my black tank and my black Batman boxers with the yellow symbols on them.

I rolled my eyes. "Way to be sexist. Who says they have to be 'man' boxers?"

"Well there's a buttoned up hole for a piece of equipment you don't possess." Dean replied, his smile ever growing.

"Well forgive me—they don't make super hero 'chick' boxers." I told him with a laugh. "Batman is the greatest."

Dean laughed and then reached out to stroke my hair and I leaned up as he leaned down to kiss me for the second time that morning. If Dean could just admit he wanted to have a relationship with me, then everything would be easier for me to feel secure about. I knew I had to give him some time with that, but that meant that I was the vulnerable one here—I was the one with the feelings actually on the line.

"I need to get dressed…" I told Dean, pulling away a little and looking him in the eye.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah…we both do…"

"Yeah, in a minute." I said, and then I kissed him again.

Dean chuckled a little and kissed me back, his hands starting to roam a little before Sam walked into the motel room and Dean and I pulled apart at the sound of the door opening. I sent Sam an embarrassed smile and then grabbed my clothes out of my duffle, heading to the bathroom and getting dressed. Then I came out brushing my hair and let Dean go in to change, smiling at Sam when he handed me a cup of coffee—he really did know me fairly well.

Sam motioned his head towards the bathroom door. "So…you two finally together?"

"We're uh…we're at the stage where Dean admitted he cared about me." I told Sam, sipping my coffee and then sighing a little. "Right now it's really about Jen, so when Dean is dressed, we need to head to Lawrence. Kevin is back in the picture and I'll explain _all_ about him when we get into the car."

Sam smiled a little. "I'd definitely like to be in a loop."

I reached out and grasped his hand. "Sammy, you're always in _my_ loop."

Sam nodded at that and then we headed out into the car and I had to explain about Kevin—Kevin the man that would always have Jen's heart and now he was back. In fact in High School, Kevin and Jen didn't even actually date, even though they loved each other very much…they were just too worried about hurting their friendship to try and be together. At least until Jen got hurt on a hunt and Kevin refused to leave her side at the hospital, and decided to go ahead and take a shot—and it worked. I had never seen two people more in love in my life, and when Kevin was kidnapped and we thought he was dead, I had never seen Jen so broken…I had never seen her take so hard to hunting until her parents got involved.

"Wow…you guys really have some back story." Dean said from the driver's seat.

I nodded slowly. "You have no idea."

"Yeah just to be clear, if something like Chelsea out of the woodwork happens again, I am going to be thoroughly pissed so…anything you want to share?" Dean asked me.

I knew he wasn't exactly threatening me, but at the same time his voice sounded kind of ominous and I realized that if I didn't at least come clean about _some_ of my past, then when I laid it all on them in the future Dean would leave. I wanted Dean and Sam to stick around so I decided then and there that I should at least tell them about their father…that way they at least trusted me to be honest with them. I knew I didn't really deserve that knowing that there was so much I still couldn't share with them…still so much I wasn't ready to face about my past.

"Remember when I told you that my adopted parents come to me sometimes to try and get me to find their killer?" I asked them slowly.

Sam and Dean nodded, Sam turning to me. "Yeah…"

"Well…I had a dream where they told me that a man would be able to lead me to their killer—well _showed_ me the man. I couldn't find him because I didn't have his name or anything but his image has been ingrained into my mind almost and…and he's kind of…he's kind of your father." I said quickly, getting it over like pulling off a bandaid.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…Dad?" Dean asked me as Sam looked surprised at me.

I nodded at them. "Yeah…that's why I was so stunned when we met…and I think he knows me. He was looking at me weird too."

"Come to think of it, it _did_ kind of look like you guys had met before." Sam said as he thought about it.

Dean shrugged. "I just figured he was assessing whether or not she was good enough to be hunting with us honestly."

"How does _our_ father fit in with _your_ adopted parents?" Sam asked me.

"Trust me if I knew, I'd tell you but I don't know—I just know that he does." I replied.

Sam and Dean nodded, and after a few stops for food and a few naps in the car, we made it to Kansas and when I unlocked my house and stepped inside, I was filled with a mixture of sadness, pain, relief and happiness. I hadn't thought you could miss one place so much, but I certainly did and I was kind of glad to be back with Sam and Dean. My house was the first place where Dean and I had slept together, and the first place where we'd really researched for a hunt together…it was a fond place to be.

xx

Jen had told me to go ahead and sleep and so I made up the guest room for Sam and then Dean insisted that he sleep in my room. It wasn't that I was entirely protesting it was just that I wanted to be his girlfriend and we still had yet to have that talk. But I mean if you were confronted with sleeping in Dean Winchester's arms would you turn it down? Of course you wouldn't—in fact any of the Winchesters would be a nice choice.

I woke up in Dean's arms, our legs entwined, and I swallowed a little when I felt his fingers run along my stomach under my tank and I bit my lip. I mean I really didn't mind being propositioned for some morning sex but I think we all know how my brain gets and I want badly to do something but I feel like I _need_ something else at the same time. So when Dean kissed my lips and then bit my bottom lip, I mumbled out words I hadn't meant to mumble but I was kind of glad that they came out.

"Am I your girlfriend?" I asked him.

Dean pulled back a little and I looked him in the eye and then I cocked my head a little to one side as Dean stroked my chin and he smiled at me. Then his smile turned into a smirk when I bit my lip and I wanted badly to just kiss him again and then forget that I mumbled anything but when I sat up to kiss him again Dean shook his head and pulled back a little. It was almost like he was playing with me, and I kind of wanted to smack him in the arm and tell him to cut it out but when I opened up my mouth to say something else, he spoke first.

"Is that what you want to be?" Dean asked me.

I swallowed. "Well I know you have this thing about not getting attached but…I mean if we are going to keep sleeping together and I'm going to keep falling for you, it would be nice to know where this is going…"

"All right…then you are." Dean told me with a nonchalant shrug. "You made me decide to be somewhat attached and since I definitely like you…I don't mind if you call yourself my girlfriend."

"Yeah but calling myself that and _being_ that are two different things." I told him, propping myself up on my elbows.

Dean nodded and leaned in, his face inches from mine. "Lanni? You're my girlfriend."

"Right answer." I said, and then I kissed him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

Dean chuckled a little into the kiss and then I felt his hand on the move and I gasped a little when I felt his fingers traveling under the waistband of my boxers—well _his_ boxers. I'd gone ahead and grabbed a pair of his fresh ones to wear the night before and when I had gasped, he'd taken the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth and then my cell phone rang. Dean shook his head at me, making me gasp one more time as I felt a finger push in, and I shook my head too…only at him.

I reached over and picked up my phone, trying to roll my eyes at Dean when he chuckled, 'kinky' at me, but they were lulling in pleasure as my breathing got heavier. I tried to push his hand away but he pinned it to the mattress with his free hand, and then started to rake his teeth along my neck as I flipped my cell phone open. Jen was on the other line and I knew it was terribly tacky to answer the phone during sex but Jen and Kevin were the reason I had come back to Lawrence and though Dean added another finger making me swallow down a moan, I was determined to have a short conversation and then push Dean off and go to Jen's.

"Ready for us?" I mentioned to get out, closing my eyes and biting my lip hard as Dean hooked his fingers inside of me.

Dean smirked and I could have killed him.

"Yeah. Kevin hasn't woken up yet this morning, but he's sleeping pretty peacefully. I want you to hear his story from him and uh…oh my God…are you and Dean _occupied_ at the moment?" Jen asked me when I whimpered involuntarily as Dean dipped and stroked.

"What? No!" I puffed out, feeling like I couldn't hold my release off for long but definitely trying to.

Jen groaned at me. "You are sick…come over when you're done and you've showered."

There was a slight hint of amusement in her voice so I just puffed out a 'will do' and then hung up the phone and gave in, letting out a soft cry when my release hit me and then I took a couple deep breaths as Dean removed his fingers. He chuckled and then kissed me, brushing my bangs off of my slightly wet forehead and running his nose along mine.

"I should throttle you." I whispered to him, kissing him softly. "Jen needs us and you have me pinned."

Dean chuckled again and shrugged. "As long as the throttling involves a spanking."

"Who's kinky now?" I asked him with a cocked eyebrow and then ran my hand down his torso and look down a little. "Do you need help with _your_ little…problem?"

"I wouldn't call it a 'problem' exactly." Dean said and then grinned as I ran my fingers under the waistband of the boxers _he_ was wearing but before anything happened, Sam knocked on my bedroom door and Dean sighed loudly. "What is it?"

Sam sighed from the other side. "Don't we have a reason for being here?"

"You're going to have to help yourself." I told Dean, wiggling out from under him and then heading towards my dresser and shooting towards the door a, "I'll be right out, Sammy."

Dean sighed and then turned over and I blushed as he started to rub himself. "Thanks for at least a better morning than yesterday."

"I'm gonna…change in the other bathroom." I said suddenly and headed out of the door with a larger blush on my cheeks.

It wasn't that I was a prude—I wasn't—but the sex stuff was still totally new to me and to have Dean start to touch himself while I was in the room was awkward. All I knew was I needed to get dressed and go and see Jen, and in the process, I needed to figure out where Kevin and been and what had happened to him. God only knew what the poor guy had gone through, and I wanted to be there for Jen as well as for Kevin—I just needed answers.

"So I'm ready to head on out." I told Sam with a smile when I was dressed and had headed downstairs for some coffee and some cereal.

"Where is Dean?" Sam asked me and then he added on, "Do I even want to know?"

I blushed a little. "He's uh…taking care of something at the moment. Coffee!"

"And by something you mean…yeah…I didn't want to know." Sam replied, and poured me some coffee while I pulled some Crispix out of the cabinet.

I poured myself a bowl and turned to Sam. "So…how are you?"

"If you're trying to ask me how I feel about you and Dean, I really am fine, Lan. I'm a big boy and I know how you two look at each other and it's not going to get in the way of our job and if it does, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Sam replied with a shrug. "You both have my blessing."

"I meant how are you doing since you saw your Dad? I could cut the tension in the room with a knife…but thank you…for the blessing too." I told him with a smile.

Sam nodded and we both smiled at each other, making that eye contact that I had realized I had grown so completely dependent on. I knew in that moment that I could trust Sam with absolutely anything and he would be right there by my side—I knew that Sam was going to be one of my best friends forever. It was one of the greatest feelings I had ever had, and it was nice to know that he knew he could trust me too, because he opened his mouth to answer my question.

"I'm actually doing a little better than I had expected." Sam admitted to me. "I mean I kind of thought I was going to be somewhat of a wreck to have found him and had to push him away again, but I…I felt like he appreciated me again—if only for a moment or two."

I nodded slowly and rested my hand on his shoulder. "It was really hard for you when you went off to college, wasn't it?"

"Yeah it was…Dean and Dad both abandoned me. Dad's been upset with me for a long, long time, but I didn't want this life. I'm starting to realize that it's my destiny, but I just…I wanted to be normal, but I'm just a freak." Sam said with a shrug and I sigh.

"Sammy you are _not_ a freak—you're a hero as far as _I_ am concerned." I replied, sipping my coffee and eating my cereal.

Sam smiled at me and thanked me and then we ate some breakfast and talked with a Dean a little when he finally made his way down. Then we made sure we were ready and headed over to Jen's, her letting me in and smiling at the boys for coming too. It took me a moment, but I realized that I was _really_ excited to see Kevin again, and oddly enough he was excited to see me.

See it wasn't that Kevin and I weren't friends—it was just that I had _always_ been _very_ protective of Jen and so sometimes he was very weary of me. But the second he saw me he got up from the couch in her living room and he made his way over to me, hugging me tightly to him and I had to return the hug. Jen and I had just been so worried when he was missing and so upset when he was gone, and I liked knowing that he was alive.

"Am I glad to see you!" Kevin exclaimed.

"I'm so glad that you're alive!" I told him, stroking his hair a little and then pulling away and looking over the brunette man in front of me. "I take it Jen did all the usual tests on you?"

Kevin nodded. "And of course the not so usual ones. Are these the Winchesters?"

"I see Jen's been informative, I'm glad." I told him with a smile as I nodded and pointed to each Winchester respectively. "This is Sam, and this is Dean—he also happens to be my boyfriend."

Kevin chuckled a little. "Jen left that part out."

"It's a recent development." Dean replied, shaking Kevin's hand after Sam did. "So tell us…where have you been all this time?"

"How many details do you have and/or want?" Kevin asked them, motioning over to the couch.

Sam shrugged. "We only know the basics and we'd like to know everything."

Kevin nodded and the five us of sat in Jen's living room, me reaching out and grasping her hand as Kevin began to explain everything. It seemed like the boys showing up for Chelsea's Wake was _definitely_ not a coincidence now that we were learning all of these things. Kevin hadn't said that specifically, but Kevin had been kidnapped by a very powerful woman who was a werewolf. Luckily for Kevin the torture wasn't as excruciating as we had all thought, but it was still torture and he was still going to have to live with it. He didn't know the woman's name, but he made certain that I understood that the woman had known my adopted parents.

"Do you think that she had something to do with their death?" I asked Kevin cautiously.

Kevin shrugged a little. "I honestly don't know. All I know is that she mentioned you and I'm certain getting away wasn't a trap but…she's not going to stop trying to get me back."

"Well if she _is_ the one that murdered your parents, Lan…then you need to talk to Dad." Sam told me.

"This is all starting to hit me as strange." Dean said softly as Jen looked at me funny.

She squeezed my hand. "What does he mean, Lan?"

"John Winchester? Their father? He's the man from my dreams with Marcus and Bethany." I admitted and swallowed a little. "I don't think any of this is a coincidence."

"Well I don't believe in fate." Dean told me.

I just nodded as Jen looked between the two of us and Sam cleared his throat in the awkward silence to follow. If there was something that Kevin and Jen knew about me, it was that I _did_ believe in fate and that I had a _lot_ of faith. I honestly didn't mind that Dean didn't believe in either of those, but eventually it would get the two of us into trouble but this was the now. All that I knew right then and there was that I had to talk to John and so I stood up and turned to Dean.

"I need to borrow your cell phone so that I can call your father." I told him.

Dean nodded and got it out of his pocket, handing it to me. "I'm going to talk to Kevin more but tell me how it goes."

"Will do." I replied and went into the kitchen by myself, dialing the number and being sent to the voicemail like I had expected. "Um…hi, John. This is Lana Meckenzie—we met a little bit ago but I'm pretty sure that you know me. Look, I, uh…I'm calling because creepily enough I have dreamt about you and I need your help. It's about my parents. Call me back…bye…"

I hung up the phone and took a deep breath, turning around in the kitchen to see Dean coming in the door and I smiled at him a little. He came up to me and I leaned back on the counter, my elbows on it, Dean placing his hands on it on either side of me and then leaning in a little. Why I was so attracted to a man who liked to tease me a little by breathing on my face and just hovering there I had no idea, but it honestly turned me on a _lot_ and I couldn't help it.

"Your Dad isn't answering—is that a habit with him?" I asked Dean, handing his phone back to him.

Dean nodded slowly and sighed. "Sadly, yeah. He's been kind of elusive for a long while now and I don't know when we'll see him again."

"Don't worry—your father can take care of himself." I told Dean, stroking his cheek with my hand.

"Lanni?" Dean asked me slowly, stroking my hair and taking a step closer to me, our noses practically touching.

"Yeah?" I managed to get out.

Dean smiled a little. "Do you think that you can promise me that you're not just going to take off on me?"

"Of course I can promise you that." I told Dean with a smile, and kissed him softly.

Dean wrapped his arms around me and kissed me soft and slow stroking my hair with one hand and running his fingers up under my shirt with the other. It was Jen's house and I felt a little bad about doing this here, but at the same time I felt like Dean needed a kiss and I knew I sure as Hell did. It was when he went to hoist me up onto the counter that I shook my head and had to pull away and bite my lip, tucking hair behind my ears.

"Jen's house." I said.

Dean nodded slowly. "I know where we are."

"So you know it's not appropriate here then, right?" I asked him with a smile.

"All right, all right. Jen suggested we look up some things on this werewolf." Dean told me as he took a step back.

I nodded slowly and then got off of the counter, reaching up and slipping my fingers into his hair, pulling him back in for another kiss. I hadn't thought about doing that at first, but I knew I wanted it, and I wanted it _badly_. Dean chuckled a little and pulled me closer, slipping his tongue into my mouth as Jen came into the kitchen, breaking the two of us apart—it would have been _so_ much nicer to have gotten to continue.

"I called John and left a voicemail." I told Jen who looked at us and nodded.

"Yeah, well…Dean? Can I speak to Lan alone, please?" Jen asked him.

Dean nodded and kissed me swiftly, heading out of the kitchen and then I looked at Jen and I knew there were things she wanted to know. I actually wanted to catch up with her as well so I decided the conversation might as well start now—even though we had a werewolf to look for.

"So I take it you and Dean are all over each other now?" Jen asked me. "This morning's little tête-à-tête wasn't enough for you?"

I blushed a little. "We were _just_ kissing, Jen. In fact for your information the last man I slept with _was_ Dean and it was a while ago. I mean something might have happened this morning had Sam not knocked on the door, but I mean…I kinda want to…maybe I shouldn't."

"Does Dean _know_ that you and Sam were close to something else?" Jen asked me as she got some orange juice out of the fridge. "And on top of that how are you feeling about it all? How does _Sam_ feel about it?"

"Sam's fine—he has given us his blessing and no…no I kind of haven't told Dean yet that Sam and I have any connection other than friends. I mean…how much does it _truly_ matter?" I asked her and then I nodded and bit my lip. "The only spark Sam and I ever felt was when we met and then the flirting after was just flirting to annoy Dean and you know that…it's always been Dean. Hell, the only time I ever got close to sleeping with someone else was when I ran into Lance momentarily when I was separated from them after the whole Cassie thing."

It meant quite a lot but I didn't really know how to tell Dean that I had almost slept with Lance when that didn't really matter. We hadn't even made out, he'd just kissed me when I was spilling about being upset about Cassie and then he'd offered and I'd thought about it a moment and then shut him right down. I mean Dean couldn't get mad at me for it—even though he probably would anyway—because he had all sorts of sex experience under his belt and practically no relationship experience. In fact it seemed to me that 'love' wasn't really word that Dean said…it was something that he could feel, but he didn't actually voice it so that was something I was a little curious about in this long run.

"He'd rather hear it from you than finding out on his own." Jen told me as she sipped her orange juice. "It's not like Lance doesn't live around here and know where _you_ live, Lana. You should prolly tell him about your High School past if you're going to try to date him."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "I can't…I don't know how to just bring it up. Just go up to him and go, 'the guy I almost gave my virginity to a long time ago is still interested in me and I almost slept with him when I was mad about Cassie, thought you should know'?"

"Well maybe not _exactly_ like that, but you should tell him." Jen said again. "You know you have to do it so stop trying to talk your way out of it."

"I'm not trying to talk my way out of it I just don't see why I have to tell him anything about it. I mean I don't ask about _his_ sex life." I protested as I crossed my arms over my chest. "Lance and I dated for three whole years, we almost had sex like eight times back then, then we broke up, I met Sam and Dean, Lance and I had a reflecting on the past moment, there was a kiss, I shot him down, went back to the boys and now I'm with Dean and Lance and I are just friends, I promise. Besides, I don't ask Dean what he does with strange waitresses or nurses or what his past sex life has been like so why offer up the information about myself?"

Jen nodded. "All right, all right, point taken. Just…be careful, all right?"

"Always." I told her, and we both laughed when she rolled her eyes and headed out into the living room where Kevin stood up.

He looked like he had some news and Sam seemed like he was busy in research mode on his laptop and Dean…Dean looked rather upset but it was one of those things he wiped off of his face. I sighed just a little and then asked Sam if his research had come to fruition but he and Kevin had pretty much nothing to offer me so Jen said we could stay for a little while and maybe go have some lunch but Dean was fidgety so I told them we'd see them for dinner. Once Sam, Dean and I got back to the house I offered some places for us all to go and unwind but Dean had other things to say.

"So when were you planning on telling me?" Dean asked as Sam and I started to look over a list of things we could possibly do to pass the time.

Sam looked up at him. "Telling you what?"

"I was talking to Lanni—I heard what you were talking about in the kitchen." Dean said his eyes on me.

"What are you talking about, Dean?" Sam asked his brother.

I took a deep breath. "Sam…can you let Dean and I talk alone for a moment please?"

"No, I think that Sam can stay in the room for this one." Dean told me and Sam still looked pretty confused.

"I don't know why you're being such a hypocrite about all of this." I said as I crossed my arms over my chest. "You have no reason to be mad about it."

"He's your _ex-High School sweetheart_!" Dean protested and Sam looked like he got it.

I rubbed my temples and resisted the urges to yell at him as Sam started to step in when I wished he wouldn't. Dean had no reason to be angry about any of this, but at the same time it would probably have been better if Sam didn't try and argue with Dean when Dean wasn't angry about the fact that I had a past, he was just finally letting out some of his own jealousy. It would be worse if I had slept with Sam and Dean had only just found out cause Sam was his brother but this…this was just him exploding because he was holding back feelings.

"Dean, I think Lan is allowed to have sex with her ex—if she had, it doesn't really matter because it was before you and during a time when you had just slept with _your_ ex." Sam told Dean as calm as he could. "Why are you bringing it up? You have sex all the time."

"That is not the point and you know it, Sam." Dean said, looking at him and then looking back to me. "I mean were you ever going to tell me?"

I took a breath. "Honestly? I wasn't thinking about it, no. I don't go around asking you who _you_ had sex with or wanting to snoop around in _your _sexual history background. Besides, I don't even have one because I've only ever slept with you and the Lance kiss was just…you wanna talk to me about your exes? About those random nurses and waitresses you've been with?"

"I…I…I'm going out for a little while." Dean sighed and then grabbed his jacket and headed out of the house.

I watched him go and took a deep breath, turning to Sam and running my fingers through my hair, smiling at him a little. It wasn't that I was even ashamed of what Lance and I had done—Lance and I had dealt with that already and Dean had no right to pry. Then again, I understood that he was upset because he had this image of me pining away for him and yet I'd had a moment of weakness away and what did that say about me?

"He's falling for you." Sam told me as if he was reading my mind.

I looked at him funny. "What?"

"He's not mad about the kiss…he's mad that you two have a connection." Sam explained to me.

"He's _not_ falling for me but it is kind of weird that it was _this_ that set him off like that." I admitted with a sigh and then ran my fingers through my hair. "Do you think this ruined things?"

Sam reached out his arms and I fell into them, letting him hug me as I listened to his steady, comforting heartbeat. He stroked my hair while I pressed myself against him a little more and I took a deep breath and then pulled back my head to look up at him. I had once been attracted to Sam and it wasn't that I wasn't now…it was just that I was attracted to him in a platonic way and I knew what I really wanted and I was going after it—I just wanted Dean.

"He'll be back." Sam assured me, kissing my forehead.

I nodded slowly. "I certainly hope so."

"Don't worry…the man wouldn't just abandon the woman he's falling in love with." Sam told me, trying to reassure me.

"Yeah except he took off on Cassie." I reminded Sam with a sad sigh.

Sam nodded slowly. "Well Cassie didn't believe him or believe _in_ him and he knows that _you_ do so don't underestimate him, Lan—believe in him."

**Note: The next chapter will be longer than this one and some things will happen I think you guys will all be excited about—I know _I'M_ excited about it. Remember: Feedback is _always_ appreciated.**


	12. You Learn Something New Everyday

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay this chapter is like BEYOND fun—at least I found it fun.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

It turned out that Dean was pretty much out until around 2 in the morning—so Sam and I had gone to have dinner with Kevin and Jen ourselves and the waiter thought we were all on a double date. Sam and I didn't even bother to protest about it, we just gave the waiter awkward smiles and tried to keep conversation going with Jen and Kevin. He'd been gone for a while, but Jen was willing to try again with him and I couldn't blame her…I knew how in love with him she still was and now he was back and she wasn't about to let him go again.

"So you decided to come back?" I asked Dean, sitting up in my bed reading a magazine when he finally made it into my room.

In all actuality I hadn't expected him to come back to sleep in _my_ room, but part of me had hoped he would and this is where he had shown up. I wanted him to apologize even though I knew the words 'I'm sorry' would never actually come out of his mouth over this right now, but at least a little hint that he was would be enough for me. So, I was ignoring him with my body language, even though I was definitely talking to him.

"I think you know me well enough to know that I'm not just going to up and abandon you—I mean I made _you_ promise that you wouldn't do that to me." Dean explained, unbuttoning his button-up and setting to taking off his t-shirt as I watched him out of the corner of my eye.

I took a breath. "So basically if it was _me_ who got pissy _I_ could just storm out and come back whenever I felt like it as long as I didn't _abandon_ you? No calls? No nothing? Awesome. Didn't know that was what I'd agreed to, but thanks for letting me know."

"It's quite obvious that you don't see this from my point of view." Dean said as he pulled off his jeans.

"Yeah, and you don't see it from mine!" I replied, raising my voice a little as I turned to look at him.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"So what if I kissed my ex-boyfriend? Yeah, I get that it means that this picture of me only having eyes for you is all messed up but come on…you had just slept with Cassie and then ignored me for a week and I was thinking things over. This is nothing compared to what I have to deal with though—I have to live up to _every single_ girl you have _ever_ been with!" I exclaimed and angrily slammed the magazine down on the nightstand by the bed with the lamp on it and Dean nodded slowly and ran his hand down his face.

"In all my thinking about it, I hadn't thought about it like that…" Dean admitted, sitting on the side of the bed and looking at me.

I nodded slowly and then ran my fingers through my hair, taking a deep breath and running my hands down my face before I turned to him and looked him in the eye. His eyes were so beautifully hazel—just the right mixture of the green and the brown—and I wanted so badly to kiss him right that second but I was angry. This was no time for angry sex…this was the time for discussion and Dean and I needed to have it out if it was the last thing we did.

"I'm still not sorry I didn't tell you." I told Dean softly. "I mean I'm sorry that it's hurting you but I did what I did and you have to deal with it."

Dean nodded slowly. "I know that and I know it's childish for me to be angry about that, but he's this guy that knew and loved you for years and I may have gotten to touch you in a different way but…how am I supposed to compare to your first love when he's always going to be around here?"

"Why do you feel like you have to compare to Lance ?" I asked Dean rather confused.

"Why do you feel like you have to compare with all the other girls?" Dean retorted.

I shot him a look. "Because I do!"

"I make my point!" Dean replied.

I let out an exasperated groan and Dean nodded at me and I realized that this was one of those things we were just gonna have to accept and let go. Dean wasn't the only one to touch me and I was definitely _not_ the only one to touch him in a sexual manner so since Dean had more to be nervous about I was going to have to give in. I didn't have to travel with any of his old conquests—just interact with his potential new ones—but Dean had to always deal with the knowledge that my ex lived close and I came here sometimes to figure things out.

"I give in." I said, making a motion with my hands and then lying back on the bed. "I give in, you win—your point has been made."

Dean nodded. "Good, so…is there where we get to the make-up sex?"

"I don't know why I'm attracted to you." I teased, sitting up and pulling my tank off with a smile on my face. "Are you just going to sit there?"

Dean smiled at me and soon we were kissing, him on top for a little while, but as the clothes started to come off and Dean started trying to talk 'dirty', I had made my way on top and he was making me nervous. I pushed on his chest a little and shook my head when he cocked his head to one side all hot-like to wonder what it was that I was doing and soon I had the sheet pulled around me as I sat up on him a little and bit my lip. I knew he liked it when I did and that I really shouldn't have, but that's what I did when I was nervous, and when I was thinking, and when I was confused, so he had to deal.

"Remember when you did that and I let you the first time this happened and we were kind of both drunk?" I asked Dean and he nodded, cocking an eyebrow at me. "Well I'm not that girl and you're making me nervous. I don't do the 'dirty' talk or the strange positions or obscure sexual favors—I wouldn't even begin to know how."

Dean nodded a small smile on his face. "I'm sorry, Lanni—I'll lay off the talking part."

"It's not the talking I have a problem with…it's just some of the things you're starting to say." I told him, a redder blush rising up in my cheeks. "I'm considering myself still new at this judging by what _you _have done in the past, and I don't know how to react."

"Baby, I'm sorry." Dean said again sitting up a little with me still with my legs wrapped around him.

I closed my eyes and opened my mouth a little because sheet covering my chest or not, our skin still shifted against each other's and it felt fantastic. Then I bit my lip again and opened my eyes as Dean stroked my hair and leaned in to kiss me again, me realizing he just called me 'baby' affectionately. So I let him kiss me and then push the sheet away from in between us, and I laid back down with him, enjoying every action we took and lying next to him when it was over, trying to catch my breath and resting the palm of my hand on my forehead.

"I am so sorry that was the worst sex you ever had." I told him as I squeezed my eyes closed.

"That was definitely _not_ the worst sex I have ever had—stop beating yourself up over it." Dean said and I could tell he was sincere but I felt terrible.

I opened my eyes again. "I talked practically the whole way through it."

"Lanni, was it bad for you?" Dean asked me, ignoring what I had just said.

I shook my head. "Of course it wasn't bad for me."

"Then stop comparing yourself to the other girls." Dean said with a sigh.

"I don't know why you're even dating me." I replied and we both fell into silence.

I knew that I was being a little annoying but I honestly couldn't stop thinking about what it meant to be Dean Winchester's girlfriend. I mean I was going to be expected to do all sorts of things for and _to_ him, and I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to be able to do it. Dean Winchester was a sexual beast and he knew that, and he enjoyed sex more than most men did, and how the Hell was _I_, Lana Meckenzie, supposed to keep him entertained with that when I knew nothing about it? There was nothing stopping him from getting his rocks off somewhere else because as far as I was concerned the only things that changed was who was on top even though I knew that there was more to it than that but the thoughts made me blush.

Dean propped himself up on his hand and looked at me from his perch on his side. "Why don't you talk to me about what has you all flustered, all right?"

I turned my head to look at him. "You're amazing and you know things that could make my head spin but…you could be having better sex with a stripper or a prostitute or even God forbid a dominatrix. There are things you're going to end up wanting that I don't think I can do for you, which makes me a little insecure about how long I'm going to get to keep you. I mean I can't even imagine how women can, you know…with their mouths…"

"So you'd never even consider it?" Dean asked me, and I couldn't tell if he was disappointed or curious or both—I was too flustered to understand the tone in his voice.

I just kind of looked at him. "Not only do you use it for sex, but you use it to pee with."

Dean chuckled a little when I blushed a deep shade of crimson and I told him that it wasn't funny and he nodded but the laugh kept going. I rolled my eyes and started to scoot away from him a little so I could turn onto my side as well and put my back to him, but his arm shot out to stop my movement, and he pulled me closer to him. This wasn't the kind of conversation I had wanted to have with him, and I knew it was just making everything more awkward for us but I couldn't make the words stop.

"I think that is one of the funniest things I have ever heard." Dean said, laughing harder and shaking his head again as I blushed more and started to move away again. "Lanni, you need to stop worrying about everything, all right? You're perfect, I'm perfect and together this sex thing is just going to work itself out, all right? I'm not going to leave you, and I would _never_ push you into anything you didn't want to do, okay? I love you too much to push you away."

I paused a moment at the word. "You what me too much?"

"I care about you too much." Dean replied automatically and I noticed the hint in his eyes that he realized his slip-up.

The only thing left on my mind then and for the next few weeks was what kind of slip-up it had been because since then he hadn't said the word 'love' again and I hadn't pushed him on it. All I wanted to do was this next hunt and try and get the things Dean and I had talked about out of my mind but I just kept dwelling on it. Currently though I was hoping that this hunt in Richardson about deaths that started two months ago would be enough to occupy me for a little while.

"I should call Jen." I said aloud as we traveled down Interstate 35, me on my laptop, Sam sleeping in the passenger seat and Dean driving.

"Mmm-hmm." Dean replied, glancing at Sam.

I looked up and raised an eyebrow as I watched him glance at Sam again like he was checking to make sure that Sam was really asleep and then I sighed when I saw him pull out a white plastic spoon and put it in Sam's mouth.

"Dean, what are you doing? You're supposed to be driving, Moron—keep your eyes on the road." I told him with a shake of my head.

Dean faked a hurt look. "Ouch. That was cold, Lanni: calling your boyfriend a moron. Shame on you."

"Dean, don't you dare!" I told him as he snapped a picture of Sam with the spoon in his mouth with his phone. "The temptation just too much?"

Dean nodded and then turned the music up and started singing so that Sam would wake up—which he did…with a jump. He quickly knocked the spoon out of his mouth and looked rather upset, shooting Dean a look.

"I told him to keep driving." I said with a look shot Dean's way too.

"Oh I know you wouldn't encourage it." Sam told me and then looked at his brother. "Man, we're not kids anymore, Dean. We're not gonna start that crap up again."

Dean tried to look all innocent. "Start what up?"

"That prank stuff—it's stupid and always escalates." Sam replied.

"Oh, what's the matter Sam? You're afraid you're gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?" Dean teased him.

I gasped loudly. "You would do that to your own brother?"

"He would." Sam replied and then nodded at Dean. "Alright, just remember you started it."

"Oh, oh, bring it on Baldy." Dean chastised as I rolled my eyes.

It was kind of cute to be honest that Dean and Sam were getting along after the little hitch a few weeks ago, but at the same time I wanted their wits about them for a hunt. I needed to be able to focus on something I could hunt down and kill, and having them distract me with somewhat funny pranks wasn't going to help me. You can probably believe how excited I was when they seemed to remember why we were even on the road now.

"Where are we anyway?" Sam asked Dean as he looked out the windshield to the highway.

Dean shrugged a little. "Few hours outside of Richardson…why are we going there again?"

"Because two months ago a couple of teenaged kids got spooked by an abandoned haunted house that has a legend behind it." I replied because I needed focus. "According to the legend a spirit takes girls and strings them up and the kids saw a girl hung in the cellar but when the cops arrived the body was gone so they just think the kids made it all up."

"They might be right about that." Dean said with a shrug.

Sam shrugged too but shook his head. "I've read some of the accounts and I think they're pretty sincere."

"And where did you read these accounts?" Dean asked him.

"Well, I knew we were going to be passing through Texas so, um, last night I surfed some local paranormal websites and I found one…" Sam told him, trailing off.

Dean glanced at him. "And what's it called?"

"Hellhoundslair dot com." I replied and brought it up on my laptop in the back seat of the car.

"Let me guess: streaming live out of Mom's basement?" Dean asked us.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, probably."

"Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the pursqueeter." Dean reminded us slowly.

"Look, we let Dad take off—which was a mistake by the way—and now we don't know where the Hell he is so meantime, we've got to find ourselves something to hunt. There's no harm checking this out." Sam told him.

Dean agreed and so the three of us headed into Richardson and talked to the group of kids, who all had different accounts of what had happened but one name rang out with all them about where they'd heard the story: from a guy named Craig. Craig owned a record store and Dean pretended that we were reporters for the "Dallas Morning News" and Sam added that we were doing an article on local haunting and rumor had it that Craig knew his stuff.

"You mean the 'Hell House'?" Craig asked us.

"That's the one." Dean answered.

Craig nodded. "I didn't think there was anything to the story."

"Why don't _you_ tell us the story?" Sam asked him.

Craig looked a little pleased. "Well, supposedly back in the 30's, this farmer, Mordechai Murdock, he still lives in the house with his 6 daughters. It was during the Depression, his crops were failing: he never had enough money to feed his own children. So I guess that's when he went off at the deep end."

"Sounds like this is gonna turn into a tragic story." I said and smiled at him when he smiled at me.

"Well, he figured it was best if his girls died quick rather than starve to death, so he attacked them. They screamed, begged for him to stop, but he just strung them up, one after the other, and when it was all finished, he turned around and hung himself. Now they say that his spirit is trapped in the house forever…stringing up any other girl that goes inside." Craig explained with a little shrug.

I nodded slowly because I believed him, but at the same time I was pretty certain that there was something else going on that he wasn't letting us in on. It was the way he was _telling_ the story that made me a little suspicious, and almost ready to side with the cops about it all.

"Where did you hear all this?" Dean asked him.

Craig shrugged at him. "My cousin, Dana, told me. I don't know where she heard it from. Realize I didn't believe this for a second…"

"But now you do." Sam finished for him.

"I don't know what the Hell to think, man. Guys, I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, okay? That girl was real, and she was dead. This is not a prank. I swear to God, I don't want to go anywhere near that house ever again, okay?" Craig asked us.

I nodded and the three of us smiled. "Thank you."

He nodded and gave me a smile, and as we left I smirked a little at Dean rolling his eyes at me. I hadn't actually been flirting with the guy—it was just friendly smiles and I had left it at that. Besides, this was starting to look like if we couldn't find any EMF, then it was definitely just some huge prank.

"I can't get any readings off of the house with that transformer in the way." Dean said with a loud sigh.

I nodded and then shuddered a little. "Then we have to go inside the house."

Sam nodded and though I was rather hesitant—I mean come on I was a girl and if this was real I _could_ be the one getting strung up in there—I followed them inside. We looked around and saw the symbols that the kids had talked about, and I was starting to get a strange vibe off of the place…I was pretty sure this was a hunt. What _kind_ of hunt, I wasn't very sure about…

"It looks like old man Murdock was a bit of a tagger during his time." Dean told Sam and I as Sam and I looked over the symbols.

"And after his time too." Sam added, pointing out one of the symbols to me. "The reverse cross has been used by Satanists for centuries but this sigil of sulfur didn't show up in San Francisco until the 60's."

"That's exactly why you never get laid." Dean said, pointing to him and then going to another symbol.

I laughed a little as Sam took a picture of the symbol he'd found. "Sam is still respecting the dead—be nice to him."

"What about this one? Seen this one before?" Dean asked Sam and I about a cross looking symbol that kind of looked like it had a reverse hook on the lower branch in order to ignore my last statement and focus on the hunt.

"No." Sam answered before taking a picture of it too.

I looked at it and shrugged. "Well…it looks a _little_ familiar…"

"I've seen it…somewhere." Dean replied.

Sam went up to another symbol and ran his fingers on it, and we both realized it was fresh paint which brought us back to thinking the kids lied to the cops. Then we heard a noise in the other room and Sam and Dean broke the door down and we got practically blinded by flashlights. There were two men with the flashlights that looked like they thought they were professional paranormal investigators from TV, and gave us their business cards.

"Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler." Sam read on the card as I smiled at the attractive nerds who nodded in respect to their names. "Hellhoundslair dot com. You guys run that website?"

"Yeah." Ed answered with a smile on his face.

Dean decided to play to the ego. "Yeah, yeah, we're huge fans."

"And we know who you guys are too." Ed told us.

"Oh yeah?" Sam asked him.

"Amateurs." Ed answered. "Looking for ghosts and cheap thrills.

I put my hand in front of my mouth to stop from laughing out loud, my eyes raking over the men in front of us who thought they knew what they were doing. They kind of looked like Ghostbusters, honestly, and though attractive, they obviously had _no_ idea what was going on here, and prolly never would—unless they stuck around. Honestly, I didn't want them to get hurt, so Sam, Dean and I had to stay.

"So if you guys don't mind, we're trying to conduct a serious scientific investigation here." Harry told the three of us.

Dean nodded skeptically. "Yeah, what have you got so far?"

"Harry why don't you tell him about EMF." Ed said proudly with a grin on his face.

"EMF?" I asked with a small laugh, biting my lip to stop from laughing out loud at the ridiculous situation we were all in right then and there.

"'Electro Magnetic Field'." Harry explained and then added, "Spectral entities can cause energy fluctuations that can be read with an EMF detector."

Then Harry switched on his EMF which made a lot of noise like Dean's did outside, and Sam and Dean feigned to be impressed as the giggles started to bubble out of me. I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just highly amused by what I was witnessing and I was making it look like I had no idea what I was doing.

"So, have you guys ever really seen a ghost before?" Dean asked them.

"Once." Ed answered. "We were, um, we were investigating this old house and we saw a vase falling off the table."

Harry nodded with a serious expression on his face. "By itself."

"We, we, we didn't actually see it, but we heard it and something like that, it…it changes you." Ed added.

"Well we should go and let you guys get back to work." Dean told them, and with a wave and wink from me, I headed out with Sam and Dean to research the symbols.

xx

While the boys went to the library to go and check out some things, I hung back at the motel and got on IM, smiling at Jen online. I wanted to talk to her so it was best that I call her, and I did, smiling when she picked up rather happy.

"If it isn't Lan." Jen said and I knew she was smiling. "What are you doing? You're online so I assume that you're at a motel."

I nodded and took a breath. "You assume correctly! Actually there's a little more to talk to you about than just how I am, how the boys are, and how hunting is going."

"What?" Jen asked me. "How does that make any sense when all there _is,_ is how you are, how the boys are and how hunting is…"

"What about 'how is your relationship with Dean going'?" I asked her with a laugh.

I could tell she was rolling her eyes. "Lan, that falls under the 'how are you' category."

"Yes, well…remember when I told you the embarrassing sex story?" I asked her with a sigh and nodded when she said she did. "We haven't had sex since then."

"I'm not surprised—Dean Winchester is gonna want you to be a little more open to trying new things and you know it." Jen said through her laughter. "What are you guys hunting right now?"

I smiled a little and told Jen about what we had been up to and even took a couple pictures of our drawings of the symbols and of the ones Sam and I took pictures of already and sent her the pictures so she could help. Mostly she had been 'hanging out' with Kevin and by that I mean 'having sex with' but whatever…_someone_ should be getting lucky these days. And that was when I stopped dead in my tracks—why the Hell did I even _care_ about sex? That wasn't who I was! Oh God…who the Hell was I anymore?

"Are you listening to me, Lan?" Jen asked me.

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I just realized I'm not who I used to be."

"Well you're learning more about your companions and your past, so you have to change somehow." Jen explained. "I should go, but keep me informed. I love you."

"I love you too, Jenny. We'll talk soon. Bye." I told her, and we hung up and I smiled when the boys showed up just then, walking through the door. "So what did you find out?"

Sam sighed loudly as he sat down next to me. "Well there was actually a Murdock who lived in that house back in the 30's and he _did_ have children only 2 boys and he never killed anyone."

"Also the missing peoples' records don't show anyone that matches the description of the girl who supposedly died two months ago. I think the Hellhounds guys made it up, honestly." Dean said with a shrug. "I say we find ourselves a bar and some beers and leave the legend to the locals."

"Awesome. I guess I'll go ahead and uh—" I began and then Dean cut me off.

"—Sam's about to go out and scavenge up some dinner." Dean told him, giving him a look.

Sam laughed and told us there might be some more research potential here, and headed out as I went from the table to one of the beds and laid down on it. I bit my fingernail as Dean ran through some information on the laptop one more time and then I sighed a little and he looked up at me. I had _thought_ that he had gotten Sam to leave because maybe he wanted something but apparently not.

"Is someone looking for a service or something?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"Or something," I replied and sat up a little, resting on my elbows and looking at him. "Have I ruined _everything_ we had the potential to be?"

Dean sighed a little and came over to me, standing at the end of the bed as I sat up completely and scooted to the end of the bed, hanging my feet over the edge. He reached out and stroked my hair, which was a good sign, and then he leaned down a little and shook his head. I smiled and nodded and then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, holding up my hand to silence Dean when he started to ask me what was up.

"Why don't you teach me something—like one thing at a time?" I asked him slowly, shrugging a little.

He put his fingers under my chin and made me look up into his eyes. "This is all up to _you_, Lanni. We're not doing _anything_ that—"

"—Dean _I_ offered." I told him with a laugh, and then I pulled off my shirt and smiled at him. "So how about you stop trying to pretend you're chivalrous and you teach me something that you like all right? I know there's a lot more to you than just sex, but it would make me feel a little better knowing I can keep you."

"But Lanni you _can_ keep me, that's just it. I don't want you to do this because—will you stop taking your clothes off, please?" Dean asked, and though he sounded annoyed with me, he swallowed when I shimmied the jeans off and kicked off my socks.

I reached out for his belt. "Look I _want_ this, all right? Just…think of something simple and show me, all right?"

"All right." Dean resolved, helping me to get him out of his jeans as well, kicking off his socks and shoes. "We're going to need to start this little encounter over though."

I laid back on the bed and got comfortable, Dean climbing on top of me in just his boxers and kissing me. It started off soft and sweet, but soon I could feel the heated passion and his hands started to roam and I shook my head. He made a face and then raised his eyebrows as I ran my right hand down his torso and stopped at the waistband of his pants.

"This time should be all about you." I whispered, our eyes meeting. "I want you to show me what you like but try to keep it—"

"—Lanni—"

"—please?" I asked him.

He nodded and guided my hands slowly into his pants, our eyes locked the whole time and then I bit my bottom lip when I felt him in my hand and felt him wrap his hand around mine, around himself. He showed me the pressure and the movements and I swallowed but felt oddly powerful when he whimpered a little and closed his eyes, letting me take over. Then he kissed me and bit my bottom lip, mumbling to me to stop for a second and then I slipped my hand out and looked him in the eye to see the change in his demeanor—the lust in his eyes.

"You know the clasp in the front means business." Dean joked, his eyes resting on my bra.

I blushed and shrugged a little. "Well I thought I'd made it clear that I _did_ mean business."

"My turn." Dean whispered, and kissed me again before he got me out of my underwear and got his boxers off, both of us reaching each breaking point we needed, and I was hoping that for now, Dean was fairly satisfied.

Afterwards I laid on my back and smiled at him as he laid on his stomach, his torso on mine as he looked me in the eye, and I wished to God I hadn't said some of the things that I had. For some reason playfulness had taken over now that I wasn't feeling as shy about touching him in his more naughty places, and I had hoped I hadn't completely embarrassed myself.

"So how was that?" I asked him, biting my fingernail with a slight smile on my face.

He smirked and stroked my hair. "That was definitely good for me, Lanni."

"Well I'm glad." I said, grinning a bit. "I _told_ you that I learn fast."

"Let it be known that I should never, ever doubt you." Dean replied with a chuckle and he leaned down to kiss me, grunting when I pushed on him a little and gave him a look. "What is it with you trying to be all commanding and in control?"

I smiled and cocked my head to the side a little. "This is your brother's room too and for the record you like knowing I'm not that easy so let's get up, shower, and then go to sleep nice and warm and cozy."

"For some reason I wish we were at your place so we wouldn't have to worry about Sam walking in." Dean said with a big grin and then he nodded. "Let's shower."

I smiled at him and nodded, kissing him one more time before we got up and took a shower together—which took a little while to get Dean focused but eventually we got clean—and then we got dressed and snuggled together in the bed. It felt like I belonged right there in Dean's arms as he spooned me, stroking my hair softly as I smiled and rested my hand back on his thigh, glad to have him move closer to me and press his chest to my back. Then just when I didn't think it could get any better, Dean pressed a kiss right behind my ear and smiled against my skin, his breath on me.

"I'm glad you're here." Dean whispered to me and stopped stroking my hair to wrap his arm around me and pull me close to him.

"I'm glad I'm here too." I assured him as I snuggled my body deeper into his and removed my hand from his thigh.

I ran my hand down his arm and rested my hand on his, our fingers interlacing which sent my body into butterflies when he squeezed my hand and kissed the back of my head before making himself comfortable against me. We fell asleep peacefully and I felt safe and home wrapped up in his arms, and then we woke up to Sam telling us there was an accident in the house and a girl died. We needed to check it out and I sat up in the bed a little and looked at Dean, blushing and tucking hair behind my ear.

"I apologize now if I made your arm fall asleep during the night." I told him, referring to the arm he had under me at one point as Sam got up to use the bathroom first, now off of his phone.

Dean smiled and caught my chin with his thumb and forefinger, running his thumb along my chin. "Don't apologize for that."

"Have I ever told you that I like you when you're sweet?" I asked him, biting my lip a little.

"The lip biting has got to stop." Dean told me, pointing a finger in my direction. "Get dressed."

I grinned at him. "Wow you're sexy when you take charge—don't get used to it though."

He rolled his eyes at me and the two of us got dressed, Sam coming out of the bathroom completely ready and then we went to talk to the cops. We asked them what had happened and apparently a girl committed suicide in the house the night before. The thing that was stumping the cops was that she had a boyfriend, friends, a good life—it wasn't the M.O. of a person who would kill themselves.

"What do you think?" Sam asked us.

Dean sighed. "Maybe we missed something."

"That means when there's less police swarming around here tonight, we need to check this out." I explained texting Jen to keep her in the loop at the same time. "In the mean time I say food is our best plan ever and I kind of have a headache so I could go for some caffeine."

"Ever think that maybe the _caffeine_ is your problem?" Sam asked me.

I smiled at him and shook my head, us making eye contact. "It most certainly isn't."

Sam rolled his eyes and he and I palled around the rest of the day while Dean tried to figure out the symbol he had found and then the three of us set out for the house that night only it was swarming with policeman trying to make sure no teenagers went in there and got hurt. Then we saw Ed and Harry and so Dean shouted something and the cops headed for them, giving us our 'in' to hurry into the house and figure things out.

"No time to stall." Dean whispered to me when I halted before going in.

I nodded. "A bad time to get cold feet, I know, but…what if the ghost is real and I'm next?"

"I'll protect you—I promise." Dean told me, and I knew he meant it—he wasn't _just _trying to get me inside before we got caught even though I knew that was certainly part of it.

"Fine." I said and stepped into the house with them. "Give me the gun and don't let me out of your sight."

Dean nodded and smiled at me, and we walked around the house and then went down the stairs and saw some things on shelves. It was gross, and the dust was starting to work on my allergies, and then I noted the playfulness of Dean returning. This was like Heaven to him—especially with his and Sam's prank war going on still.

"I dare you to take a swig of this stuff." Dean said to Sam, smiling.

"Why would I do that?" Sam asked as he looked at things and I stayed near Dean.

"I double dare you." Dean told him and I smacked him in the arm. "Hey! Do you remember what happened _last_ time you smacked me?"

I laughed a little. "Yeah you held my hands behind my—"

I screamed though when I heard a scuttling noise and then clapped my hand over my mouth and sent Sam and Dean 'I'm sorry' looks.

"Sorry." I said in a hushed voice.

Dean smiled. "Since when do you scream?"

"Since I want to live and I'm _this_ close to dying." I told him with a forced smile and then I shrugged and pointing around. "And there are rats."

"I hate rats." Dean agreed.

Just when Dean and I were agreeing that was a sign something bad was going to happen, the ghost showed up and started for me—the girl. I didn't want to be strung up and the moment we realized the rock salt wasn't affecting it, I screamed again and headed out of the house as fast as possible, running right into Ed.

"Sweet Lord…of the Rings!" Harry exclaimed as I smiled at Ed a little who seemed a little protective even though he was scared.

Then Dean grabbed my arm and told Harry and Ed to keep their equipment—especially their video camera—out of his face and we were out of the house safe and sound, Ed and Harry getting nabbed by the cops. I felt a little bad for them, but at the same time they didn't have _any_ idea what they were doing and I didn't want them to get hurt. Then there was Dean getting annoyed with me when I happened to shrug and mention that maybe Ed was a little attractive…

"On the bright side we know it's a hunt." I tried, changing the subject. "Is Sam the only one talking to me?"

Dean gave me a look and then looked back at the symbol and sighed loudly. "What the Hell is this symbol? It's bugging the hell out of me. This whole damn job is bugging me. I thought the legend said that Mordechai only goes after chicks."

"It does." Sam answered. "That's why it went after Lana first."

"Yeah but then it came after you and me. I mean, that explains why he went after you, but why me?" Dean asked.

Sam rolled his eyes as I bit my lip. "Hilarious. The legend also says he hung himself but did you see those slit wrists?"

"Actually yeah, I noticed those." I told him. "You know when I wasn't screaming and running."

"What's up with that? An axe, too? I mean, ghosts are usually pretty strict, right? Following the same patterns over and over…" Sam mused.

Dean nodded slowly. "And his mood keeps changing."

"Exactly. I'm telling you, the way the story goes…" Sam began and then trailed off so I got up from his motel bed and went to look over his shoulder at the Hellhoundslair site. "Someone added a new post at the Hellhounds site. Listen to this: 'They say Mordechai Murdock was really a Satanist who chopped up his victims with an axe before slitting his own wrists. Now he's imprisoned in the house for eternity'. Where the Hell is this going?"

"I don't know but I think I might have just figured out where it all started." Dean said and he smiled as he looked at his notebook.

Then he got us to head back down to talk to Craig and I suddenly understood—the symbol was a logo for Blue Öyster Cult. So it was obvious that Craig had answers for us he hadn't been willing to share before and now we needed them. Things were getting too weird and though I could tell that my feelings were a little off, I knew that something was up, and something big was going to happen today.

"Tell me Craig, you're into B.O.C. or just scaring the Hell out of people?" Dean asked him, giving him the album on the symbol was on. "Now, why don't you tell us about that house? _Without_ lying through your ass this time."

I smiled at how commanding Dean could get sometimes and Craig explained that he and his cousin Dana came up with the story. He and Dana nailed some chicken legs and painted symbols found in theology text books and from albums, just to make the place look haunted—to them it sounded like fun. Then Dana pretended to be the dead girl from two months before and it spread to Harry and Ed who put the story on their website and that was how it started—it was all supposed to be a big joke.

"If it wasn't real, how do you explain Mordechai?" Dean asked Sam and me as we headed out of the record store.

I shrugged a little. "More research."

"Agreed." Sam said, and we headed back to the motel where we researched a little more and then Sam got into the shower.

I laid on Dean's and my bed and flipped through a book I'd brought along in my duffle, and then I sat up when I noticed Dean moving out of the corner of my eye. I made a face when I realized he was shaking something all over Sam's clothes, and then Sam opened the bathroom door and Dean whirled around.

"What if Mordechai is a Tulpa?" Sam asked us.

Dean scratched his head, glad to see Sam had no idea what was going on. "A Tulpa?"

"Yeah, it's a Tibetan thought form." Sam explained.

"Yeah, I know what a Tulpa is." Dean told him. "Hey uh, you get dressed and we'll talk about it over some food."

Sam nodded and as Dean started to leave he realized I wasn't with him and sighed heavily before he came over to me and held his hand out. I rolled my eyes and got off of the bed, taking Dean's hand and realizing I _was_ kind of assessing Sam's abs. It was Sam's damn fault his peck moved when he walked all hot like but that didn't mean I preferred him over Dean! I didn't!

"Come." Dean told me.

"I'm coming. I'm coming." I said, following him out the door. "And for the record I am not a dog."

Dean nodded. "Yes, but you _are _easily distracted."

I nodded, and then I stopped him in the hallway. "Why are you upset with me for the flirting?"

"I'm not upset with you. You can flirt if you want to." Dean said, trying to shrug it off.

"Dean it bothers you—you forget that I know you." I replied.

Dean sighed again and then he kissed me. He honestly thought that if he just kissed me for a little while I would let it go, but at the same time we both knew he was only _hoping _that was the case because he knew me too. We both knew that the second the kissing stopped, I was going to continue our conversation whether he wanted to continue it or not, and I certainly did.

"I kind of adore everything about you, so the flirting is merely flirting. You do it all the time and I don't want it to be okay for _you _to do it, but not for me." I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck as he slipped his arms around my waist. "I will, however, lay off ogling Sam's half naked body."

"You are a stubborn piece of work, has anybody ever told you that?" Dean asked me with a chuckle.

I smiled and nodded. "Yes they have, now kiss me again damn-it before Sam comes."

Dean kissed me again and pressed me up against the wall in the hallway before Sam came out and cleared his throat, Dean placing one soft kiss to my lips before taking my hand. Then we went to grab a bite to eat and Sam kept wriggling a little and I felt so bad seeing him in such discomfort but every time I went to open my mouth to tell him, Dean stuck a fry in it.

"Who says I'm hungry?" I asked him.

Dean smiled a cheeky smile at me and then looked at Sam. "Hey Sam, what's your problem?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." Sam replied as I went to smack Dean's leg and he grabbed my hand, ready for me, our fingers interlacing as he held my hand in his lap.

"Yeah, so keep going: what about these Tulpas?" Dean asked him.

Sam nodded. "Okay. So there was this incident in Tibet in 1950. A group of monks visualized a Golem in their heads. They meditate on it so hard they bring the thing to life, out of thin air."

"So?" Dean asked him.

"Oh my God! Imagine what 10,000 web surfers could do!" I exclaimed.

Sam nodded. "Craig starts a story about Mordechai then it spreads, goes online, and now there are countless people all believing in the bastard."

"Ok wait a second. You're trying to tell me just because people believe in Mordechai, he's real?" Den asked Sam as Sam typed away on his laptop.

"I don't know, maybe." Sam answered and shifted uncomfortably again.

Dean made a face. "People believe in Santa Claus, how come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?"

"Cause you're a bad person." Sam replied and I nodded vigorously as Dean nodded too. "And 'cause of this…"

Sam turned the laptop to show Dean the symbol that Craig and Dana had painted on the wall and it all made sense. For centuries it had been used it concentrate meditated thoughts, so people who visited the Hellhounds website are on it, staring at the symbol, thinking of Mordechai, and it's enough to bring him to life. That would explain why he was immune to rock salt, why he changed what he did each time, and why even though it started out as a joke, a girl was now dead.

"Why don't we just take the symbol off of the wall?" Dean asked with a shrug.

Sam and I shook our heads. "It's not that simple."

"Once these spirits are created, they take on a life of their own. So question is: how to get rid of Mordechai? We can't do it without these Hellhounds guys." Sam explained.

"It means we need to talk to Ed and Harry and the sooner the better." I agreed, standing up to go and frowning when Sam started to move more visibly.

Dean said he had an idea and started to go as Sam said, "Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or something."

"Your brother did it." I said as Dean laughed and Sam looked at him.

"You're a friggin' jerk!" Sam told Dean as Dean laughed harder and headed out with a coffee in hand.

Dean nodded and kept on laughing. "Oh, yeah!"

I rolled my eyes and then Sam went to go change while Dean got what he needed for his plan and we headed to the trailer where Ed and Harry were staying. I told Sam and Dean to let me try and handle it first, and then when Dean said something along the lines of 'you go flirt with Dungeons and Dragons', I rolled my eyes and listened intently. I could hear the two through the door thanks to my abilities and I found them both adorable.

"This story could be our ticket to fame, money and sex, Harry." Ed explained to him. "Be brave, he adds, okay? WWBD. What Would Buffy Do, huh?"

"What Would Buffy Do?" Harry repeated in a slightly low voice. "I know Ed, but she's stronger than me."

"It's okay." Ed replied and I knocked on the door.

It sounded like they were a little startled and I couldn't blame them, but I smiled pleasantly when they opened up and saw me there. Ed smiled a little and I wanted to totally up and turn on the charm but Dean was expecting that and stepped in and ruined it.

"Look at that, action figures in their original packaging." Dean joked. "What a shock!"

"Guys, we need to talk." Sam cut in.

Ed nodded slowly. "Yeah, um, sorry guys, we're…we're a little busy right now."

"Okay, we'll make it quick." Dean retorted. "We need you to shut down your website."

Ed and Harry started to protest and I got in between the four of them and plastered the 'Lana' smile on my face and decided to appeal to their ego—years playing KOTOR kind of gave me the upper hand there.

"Look they're just upset that you two are so popular." I explained, stepping on Dean's shoe when he started to snort laughter out of his nose. "I mean you guys have a website and everything. We're here because we know something really amazing about Mordechai and I thought you guys being the experts and all, you could, you know…use it."

"And why would you tell _us_ that?" Ed asked me.

I beamed and started to squeal like a fan girl. "I'm such a huge fan of your site! I wanted you guys in on it and these two are just being ridiculous."

"Lana it's a secret!" Dean protested.

"Besides they have to shut it down! More people are just going to keep going into that house and getting themselves killed!" Sam added on.

Harry looked concerned and nodded. "Hey, maybe he's got a point."

"No, no. Okay, we have an obligation to our fans, to the truth." Ed explained with an affirmative nod.

"Well, I have an obligation to kick both of your asses right now." Dean retorted.

Sam put his hand on Dean's shoulder. "Dean, Dean, hey. Just forget it, alright? These guys, you could probably bitch-slap them both like I could probably tell them that thing about Mordechai. But they're still not gonna help us. So let's go."

"Yeah, you're right." Dean answered.

I bit my lip and looked at Ed and Harry with the best puppy eyes I could muster and they told the boys to hold on. Sam and Dean started to feign arguing about whether to tell them or not and I bat my eyelashes at Dean who sighed loudly.

"I'm telling you two…" Dean said.

Sam nodded. "But if they agree to shut the website down, Dean?"

"They're not gonna do it, you said so yourself." Dean protested, shaking his head.

"They believe in protecting the innocent—it's what Buffy would do." I explained.

At those words Ed spoke up saying that he and Harry would shut the site down and there we had it—the plan had worked. We knew they weren't going to, but if we gave them the fake information, then they would put it up and the people on the website would believe it, and then we'd kill Mordechai.

"It's a secret Sam." Dean told his brother.

"Look, it is a pretty big deal, alright? And it wasn't easy to dig up." Sam added, turning to Ed and Harry. "So only if we have your word that you'll shut everything down."

Ed was excited and nodded. "Totally."

"Fabulous. This is a death certificate from the 30's—we got it at the library. Now, according to the coroner, the actual cause of death was a self-inflicted gun shot wound." I explained handing over the paper Dean had doctored up.

"So, he didn't hang or cut himself." Dean explained.

Harry looked at it and then us. "He shot himself?"

"Yup, with a .45 pistol. To this day, they say he's terrified of them." Dean explained with a smile and a nod.

"As a matter of fact, they say if you shoot him with a .45 loaded with these special wrought-iron rounds, you can kill this son of a bitch." Sam added.

I beamed and then touched Ed's and Harry's hands with mine and the three of us made eye contact before whispering, "Remember what Buffy would do with the truth."

Ed and Harry both looked incredibly excited and hurried into their trailer, me turning to Sam and Dean and all three of us high-fiving. Then we went to get some dinner and Dean started to irritate not only Sam but me by pulling the string on a laughing automaton. I rolled my eyes and took a swig of beer, while Sam checked the website for updates and gave Dean a very annoyed look.

"Why do I like this stuff?" I asked, holding up the bottle after taking a sip.

"I don't know." Dean said, pulling the string of a laughing wall ornament.

Sam glared at him. "You pull that string again, and I'm going to kill you."

Dean laughed and pulled the string again, making Sam get angry. "C'mon man, you need more laughter in your life. You know, you're way too tense."

Sam made a face and then showed us that the website had been updated, letting us know we had to wait long enough for enough people to look it up and believe in it. So Sam raised his beer to Dean and I and we clunk glasses and then Dean chugged his a bit while Sam started laughing and I set mine down—it just didn't taste right. Dean realized the bottle was stuck to his hand and I rolled my eyes: Super Glu.

"You didn't?" Dean told him.

Sam laughed his adorable laugh. "I did."

He showed Dean the tube of glue and then he laughed before pulling the string of the automaton. It laughed with him and I ate some food and took some Advil to make my headache go away, the three of us heading to the house, guns in hand to get rid of Mordechai once and for all.

"Do you think that Mordechai is at home?" Dean asked us as we headed for the cellar door.

Sam shrugged as I did. "I don't know."

"Me neither." Dean said and then we heard a noise and turned around to see Ed and Harry there trying to make a video.

We heard some noises coming from the cellar and then the spirit appeared suddenly, still holding an axe like last time and our guns were useless. I was the first one out of the house and found out as they all came running out that Ed's and Harry's server had crashed and so the fake story couldn't take. So Dean decided to just up and torch the house and I wasn't so sure about it, but it seemed like it would be the only way to do it and save anyone who tried to come to the house in the future. It was the only option at that point, so we burned the house with Mordechai in it and watched the house as it went up in flames, Mordechai trapped in the house.

"What if the legend changes? What if there's a new version in which Mordechai is allowed to get out of the house?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded slowly. "We'll just have to come back."

"It kinda makes you wonder, of all the things we've hunted, how many existed just because people believed in them?" Sam asked out loud.

We thought on that and packed to leave, meeting up with Ed and Harry before that, and so we stopped to talk to them. They seemed pretty smug and happy and so I wanted to make sure they were leaving with egos intact and I wanted to get to the Impala.

"We got a phone call from a producer who saw our website." Harry said.

Ed nodded to us. "He wants to discuss picture rights. Who knows, maybe he'll even want us to write the script."

"Sounds awesome." I told them. "Maybe there will be an RPG for X-Box or something."

Ed and Harry seemed hopeful and headed off in their car before Sam spoke up.

"I have a confession to make." Sam admitted.

Dean looked at him as we neared the Impala. "What's that?"

"I was the one who called them and told them I was a producer." Sam explained and we all laughed.

"Well, I'm the one who put the dead fish in their back seat." Dean said with a smile.

"Truce?" Sam asked him.

Dean looked at him and nodded. "Yeah, truce. At least for the next hundred miles."

"Thank God." I told them.

They got into the car, and then they got straight back up and made faces as I laughed and pointed at them.

"Sam!" Dean cried.

"I sat in it too!" Sam told him.

"You are cleaning that off of the seats." Dean said looking at me as I doubled over with laughter.

"So you can dish it out, but you can't take it?" I asked him. "You'll notice there are wet towels in a bucket in the back that will wipe it right up and not hurt a thing."

Dean gave me a look. "I have honey on my ass."

"I thought you found our pranks childish." Sam told me, a smile on his face.

I shrugged as I smiled. "I wanted to have _some_ fun."

"Clean it up." Dean said, looking at his ass. "I am _not_ sitting on a towel all the way to a motel."

"Oh, I don't know about that—I kind of feel like getting to a motel really soon and having a little R-rated fun but if you're not interested…" I said with a shrug, smiling when Sam rolled his eyes and sat on a dry towel after wiping up the honey from his seat and Dean's eyes lit up.

Dean smiled. "See Sam, I get laid."

"Don't be vulgar, Dean, or I'll take back the invitation." I told him.

"Just so you two know, I'm getting the room first, and then I'll be out early until lunch so you two will have time then." Sam said. "I'm tired."

"By morning she may not want to anymore, man." Dean protested.

I gave him a look with a small smile. "Dean, I'm right here, and at this rate I won't be in the mood anymore anyway."

Dean sighed. "Fine. Let's not talk about the hot and sweaty love."

"Let's not—especially if you're going to call it that." I told him and heard my cell phone go off in my pocket.

Dean smiled. "You know you love me."

"I might…I might love Sam too. You never know, do you?" I asked him, pulling my phone out and noticing that it was Jen.

"Lanni…" Dean warned—in a loving tone because he wanted me and we both knew it.

"Ha, Ha, the joke's on you." I told him and answered the phone. "Hey, Jenny."

I watched as Dean went to wipe the honey off of the seat and went to the vending machine to have a little more privacy with the phone call. I explained about my headaches and she talked to me about how she and Kevin were doing and then I stopped in my tracks.

"Oh my God." I said.

Jen stopped because I had cut her off mid sentence. "What?"

"I thought the headaches meant my period was coming but I'm like almost three weeks late for my period." I told her and I was met with surprised silence. "Oh my God, Jen…I think I'm pregnant."

**Note: Mwahaha…yeah, all I have to say there. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	13. This Isn't What I Planned

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay this next chapter is kind of filled with a lot of fun and angst.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

For a little while I just kind of shrugged off the notion of being pregnant. I totally couldn't be and so I decided to ignore it, but then I looked at the calendar and I new I had to be—there was just no other explanation for it. So I had bought a pregnancy test under the radar of Sam and Dean to make sure but I hadn't used it yet. There hadn't been a good moment where I actually had my own privacy, and so I was waiting until there was a good time and right that second wasn't.

Dean and I had been a little horny as of late and currently we were kissing each other in my room in Lawrence, and I smiled into the kiss as Dean pressed me up against the wall, his hands on my hips and his body against mine. Thankfully none of our awkwardness—okay, _my _awkwardness—had ruined any of the physical things between us, and I slid his jacket off of him, and then sighed when we both felt the vibration. As was Dean's way though, he continued to kiss me while I reached into my pocket and pulled away slightly, answering the phone.

"Hello?" I asked as Dean kissed my neck softly.

"Hey! I was just calling to check up on you. Are you all right? You sound out of breath." Jen told me.

Dean chuckled, able to hear Jen's voice. "Do you remember what happened _last_ time you answered the phone—?"

"Jen, I need to call you back, all right?" I asked, hanging up the phone before she could answer and before Dean could finish what he was saying.

I put the phone on the bedside table and then Dean smiled because he knew that he could definitely keep kissing me now—not that he would have stopped either way. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him, smiling as his hands went down to my pants, and began to unbutton them, but then the phone began to vibrate on the table and we both sighed. We just wanted to get done what we had wanted to get done, and the phone calls were _not_ helping us get there.

"Hello?" I asked, wishing Dean and I could continue, and shooting Dean a look when he started to slip his hand into my pants.

"Hey, this is Sam. Jen told me to call and ask what was up." Sam told me matter-a-factly.

"Look, Sam, Dean and I are kind of busy right now." I told him and gasped just a smidge when I felt Dean's fingers.

"Oh—OH!" Sam said quickly and I knew he was blushing. "Right. Bye."

"Bye." I told him shutting the phone, and Dean smiled and started kissing me all over again.

Soon we were both on the bed, and finally getting all of each other's clothes off, using that pent up lustful energy, content afterwards, lying amongst ruffled sheets. Dean stroked my hair and bit my neck softly in the same spot he'd been paying attention to for the last little bit. Then he pulled away and admired his work and I made a face and got up, the top blanket wrapped around me and went to look in the mirror.

"Dean…you had to, didn't you?" I asked him with a sigh, turning to look at him.

Dean smiled from the bed, lying on his side with his bare chest visible and the covers covering his bottom half except for his feet. Then he nodded and turned onto his back, putting his arms behind his head like he was proud and confident and I rolled my eyes and laughed a little bit.

"What?" He asked all cheeky and adorable.

I walked out of the bathroom, the blanket wrapped around me, my hair all pulled to one side and my head cocked a little bit. I pointed to the mark on my neck and he shrugged all innocent-like which made me roll my eyes and smile a little.

"Hickie. I can't cover this one up easily." I told him, raising my eyebrows at him.

Dean gave me a look too. "You bit my shoulder so…I think I'm entitled to leave my own mark. Besides—it's like a Dean Winchester brand."

"Oh, so now you own me, is that it?" I asked him with a laugh.

"Come back to bed…" Dean said softly.

I smiled and heeded the soft order, snuggling up against him and resting my hand on his right peck, kissing the left one that was next to me. It was nice to be so close to him, and yet at the same time I wished I had the bravery to tell him that I thought I was pregnant. I was hoping desperately that he would fall asleep so I could just take the pregnancy test and then know from that, but then I'd have to see a doctor.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Dean asked me, stroking my hair and kissing my head softly.

I smiled a little. "Nothing, I'm great."

"And that's a lie…" Dean told me, placing a soft kiss to my head.

"Well…maybe I just wanna make sure this is going to be sweet and not you know…interrupted." I told him lamely, closing my eyes at how stupid it had sounded.

Dean chuckled a little. "It's adorable that you think I'm sweet."

"You have your moments." I laughed and then looked up at him and we made eye contact. "This is not going to make you happy but uh..."

I trailed off a little and was going to go ahead and try to tell him but I didn't get the chance and had to hold the covers around me as Sam came barging in. He looked embarrassed so he put his hand up over his face as Dean told him to get out but it looked like he had something important to say to us.

"What is it, Sammy?" I asked him, tucking hair behind my ears.

"You two want to help with a case?" Sam asked as he swallowed.

I sat up with covers a little more. "Yes. What is it?"

"A demon." Sam said slowly. "Jen needs help."

I nodded and got up with the covers to grab some clothes. "Okay, we'll be ready soon."

I hadn't really thought about what I was doing but I realized I was changing with Sam in the room when Dean cleared his throat. I blushed and sent him an 'I'm sorry' look but he got really, really annoyed and Sam swallowed again his hand no longer covering his eyes.

"Get out, Sam." Dean told him and Sam hurried out, closing the door behind him.

I swallowed and pulled on some of my clothes. "Sorry. Just…I'm comfortable around the two of you and so it's habit to just do something—I don't think about it all the time."

"Well I'm not all right with that." Dean replied and got up to get dressed himself. "I mean is there an ulterior reason behind that one you just gave me?"

"Dean, I—" I tried.

"—no! I _know_ I'm a little _too_ worked up over it, but you're my girlfriend and you're Sam's close friend and this is sort of what I was talking about!" Dean told me as he angrily buttoned up his shirt. "Sam has always been really close to you—more than a friend kind of close even though you haven't slept together—and I can't deal with it when I know there's a chance you may get tired of me and you have him to fall back on!"

My eyes widened at his honesty. "Dean…hey! Look at me…"

Dean grunted and then he looked at me slowly and I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him softly and smiling a little when he returned it, angry or no. He hadn't meant to explode at me like that, and I needed him to know that I wasn't going to get tired of him and fall back on Sam. There was absolutely no way I could do that—I was in far too deep now and I knew it.

Dean ran his fingers over my bra strap, me standing there in my bra and my jeans, Dean fully clothed by now since he got dressed rather quickly when he was angry. Actually, he probably just knew how to get dressed so quick because he was used to banging and dashing—but I didn't want to think about that. I just needed Dean to know how I felt about him even though we hadn't known each other a terribly long amount of time, and I knew deep down it would frighten him just a little bit.

"Dean?" I asked him.

Dean's eyes made contact with mine. "Yeah?"

"I love you." I told him.

He looked rather surprised, and I knew I was kind of surprised myself—I had opened my mouth to tell him that I cared about him and I was his girlfriend and I was going to be by his side no matter what, but I'd just…I'd just said "I love you". Why in the world would I have just said, "I love you" to Dean Winchester? I mean…did I seriously _love_ him? Because I hadn't sat down and thought about _love_.

"What?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head and then I kissed him but for once in his life Dean Winchester didn't want to just kiss—he wanted answers. I didn't want to have this conversation because if I had blurted out that and known in my gut that I felt it, there was no telling what I was going to blurt out next. Couldn't he just kiss me and let me ignore it? I let _him_ ignore it when he'd said it after awkward sex and during an even _more_ awkward sex talk!

"What did you just say?" Dean asked me, having successfully pulled out of the kiss.

I looked him in the eye. "I care about you."

"That's not what you said." Dean told me, a sly smile on his face. "You love me."

"Yes well that's not what you said a few weeks ago! So what now?" I asked him, pulling away from him and putting my shirt on.

Dean swallowed and then he nodded slowly and ran his hand down his face. He wanted to be out of this conversation now too but there was no way I was letting it go. He started to pull his shoes on and when we were both dressed I got in between him and the door and he gave me a look.

"We're talking about this." I told him.

He sighed. "Jen needs help with a demon problem."

"And you love me." I replied and Dean sighed loudly.

"Lanni…please move." Dean said and groaned when I shook my head.

I took a step towards him. "Say it."

"I'm not saying it." Dean told me, looking me in the eye. "I told you I didn't want to get too attached to you because it was going to get you killed so…this thing we're doing is done."

"No it's not." I said, pressing myself flush against the bedroom door and looking at him as he put his hand on the doorknob. "Why the Hell do we have to suffer because demons are out there? I'm more than willing to feel the brunt of your burdens."

Dean shook his head but when I kissed him he didn't pull away and I knew that deep down it was because he wanted this as badly as I did. When I moved a little he nodded into the kiss and gripped my waist, hoisting me up and I pulled away a little. Our eyes met and I ran my nose along his, wrapping my legs around him and squeezing just enough with them to let him know that in that moment _I_ had the power.

"I love you." I told him again. "Don't freak out about it and tell me how you feel."

Dean swallowed and eyes still locked, I bit his bottom lip softly and he sighed. "I love you, Lanni."

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" I asked him with a smile and kissed him when he started to shake his head. "Please don't pull away now."

"What choice do I have?" Dean asked through the kisses.

I sighed a little and pulled back. "The choice _not_ to."

I kissed him one last time and then I got off of him, fixing my shirt and heading out of my bedroom, heading to the staircase when I remembered the reason I had come back to Lawrence in the first place—to take the pregnancy test and see my family physician. So I told Sam and Dean to head to Jen's without me and I'd meet them there, and though not really on board with that at first, they headed out, and I went into my bathroom and locked the door, looking at the box. It was really now or never and after I peed on the stick, I jumped at the vibration of my phone on the nightstand and went to answer it because Jen really _did_ need help and I was supposed to be being helpful.

"Hey, Jenny." I told her with a smile as I answered the phone.

She laughed a little. "You untangled from your boy toy now?"

"Yes and he and Sammy are headed over to you now." I told her softly.

"So you're, uh, finally taking that pregnancy test? Have you told Dean yet?" Jen asked me seriously.

I sighed loudly. "I don't know how to tell him, Jenny—I'm waiting to see if it's true first even."

"Well I'm gonna let you go to take deep breaths all right?" Jen told me. "You need to have a little space and I need to pick up a couple things before the doorbell rings and I bring them into a not _really_ tidy house."

I laughed a little. "All right. I love you—I'll call you the second I know."

"You do that, and I love you too." Jen replied and we hung up.

I was getting really antsy about all of it because I just wanted to know what the result of the test was so that I could figure out what to do about it. Then I could help Jen with her demon problem and I could go about my business and everything would be fine. I was just really stressed, and maybe I just forgot to write my period down on the calendar—that could be it!

"Will you just give me an answer already?" I asked the stick angrily, and then after taking a few deep breaths and waiting a good five minutes, I looked at the stick and my jaw dropped.

I headed out into my room and then I set the pregnancy test on my dresser and looked at my self in the mirror. The answer I had been waiting for was right there and I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it. Then I let out a small scream and I let all of my frustration and fear out.

"Why do _I_ have to be pregnant?" I asked loudly and then gasped a little when I saw Sam's reflection in the mirror. "Hey, Sammy."

xx

Sam and I had sat in silence at the Starbucks for a good twenty minutes or so after he had walked in on my outburst. I was no longer angry, but I still sure as Hell was scared. Part of me was actually a little excited because I was having a baby and I had always thought that someday I _would_ have one, but the other part of me was terrified not only of _being_ pregnant, but of having to tell _Dean Winchester_ that I was having his baby. How the Hell was I going to do that?

Love was bad enough because he didn't want to be in love for fear of hurting me, and now there was going to be a baby. What if he thought I was trying to tie him down or something? I mean there were so many things he could think when I told him and in all reality there were hundreds of ways the talk with him could go and I wasn't sure if _I_ was even ready to talk about it out loud…even though I knew Sam wanted to.

"And you're _sure_ it's positive?" Sam asked me.

I nodded quickly. "Yeah…I just don't know if it's true—I mean there _is_ such a thing as a false positive."

"Do you think that's what it really is?" Sam asked me softly, and I knew he could see right through my trying to make excuses.

"I think…I think I'm pregnant." I told him and sighed and put my head in my hands. "I told Jen that the test was positive and I made an appointment with my family physician, and I just…I think I'm stupid."

Sam reached out and rested his hand on mine. "Lan, you're _not_ stupid."

"Yes I am." I replied, nodding some more and looking up at him. "Even the stupidest kids in the class remember the things they tell you about sex during Sex Ed, Sammy. I mean I don't go around having sex with any random thing with legs like Dean used to do, but I should have been on birth control or something! Things were _so_ much easier when I had planned on not having sex until I was married!"

I put my head in my hands again and heard the noise Sam's chair made as he scooted it closer to me and put his arm around me. All I could do was lean into him, eventually resting my head against his chest and closing my eyes as he ran his hands along my arms. He knew I was freaking out and I knew exactly what he was going to say before he opened his mouth to say it to me.

"You have to tell Dean." Sam told me softly, kissing the top of my head.

I shook my head. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"Oh I dunno…use your words?" Sam asked me and I rolled my eyes, but smiled a little as he smiled at me when I pulled back to look up at him. "My brother's not the cold-hearted bitch that you think he is, Lan."

"I never said that Dean was a cold-hearted bitch." I replied with a chuckle and then I sighed a little bit. "I just…I'm already putting him under so much stress and this is just one more thing he's going to think is getting too close and putting me in danger."

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah, but Dean's automatic response to _everything_ is tied to his ridiculous theory about relationships, Lan. He has let you in more than any other girl, _ever_, and I think you owe it to him to let him know that no matter what happens between you two, you guys can talk about it and deal with it."

"Why do you have to be the smart one?" I asked him with a smile and then I nodded slowly. "Just let me grab a White Chocolate Mocha and we can be on our way."

Sam chuckled at me and nodded, letting me get myself some coffee and then he went to go help Jen and Kevin and I went back to my house after letting Jen know what was up. I just didn't want to deal with it when I knew that all I was going to do was obsess over it and freak out, but it was the only thought in my mind. How could I be a mother? I was a hunter, and I had a past that would make it practically impossible to even keep a child safe…so why did part of me even want one?

I started to tear up when I thought about my mother, and about Annie, and it dawned on me suddenly that there was nothing that I could do now that it was done and I had to accept what was happening to me. I knew that I still had to see the doctor the next day, but part of me simply knew that I was expecting and I had to accept it. The thing was…I already wanted the baby—I just didn't know how in the world Dean was going to react to it all and that worried me. What the Hell was I going to do?

"Lanni?" Dean asked.

I looked up as he opened the bedroom door. "I thought you were at Jen's with Sammy."

"Lanni are you crying?" Dean asked me, coming over to me as I stood up and tried to plaster a brave smile on my face. "What's wrong?"

"What a thing to ask." I said and shook my head, taking a step back from him when he reached out to pull me in to him. "If you hug me I'm going to lose it."

Dean just nodded slowly and reached out to stroke my hair, which honestly didn't make the situation _any_ easier at all and Dean knew it when a couple more tears slid down my cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs and looked me in the eye and I just couldn't take it anymore. Suddenly it was like verbal vomit everywhere and I couldn't stop any of the words that were coming out of my mouth.

"I have been freaking out for a couple of weeks trying to ignore what was going on here but I can't ignore it any longer, Dean. I mean we've been going at it like bunnies and neither of us has really taken the time to get our sex life in order. You've been doing everything you could—even though we've had the occasional slip up—and I'm not stupid, but apparently I shouldn't be trusted to do a Goddamn thing! I mean I come into your life, I practically throw myself at you, I decide sex isn't bad, I finally get you as my boyfriend, I fall in love with you and now I'm just about to push you away and I don't want to, but if _I'm_ not handling it well, then how the Hell are _you_ going to handle it?" I asked him and took a breath.

Dean cocked his head to one side. "What in the world?"

"I didn't plan it." I told him slowly. "I didn't plan on meeting you, or sleeping with you, or learning all this sex stuff before I was married—I mean that was my plan! I was going to fall in love, get married, have sex, start a family—then _you_ came along! You came along with your cheeky attitude, and your sexy banter, and that amazing grin and the hair and the teeth and the amazing kissing ability and we _slept together_. I mean I threw every moral I had away for _one_ drunken night with you and all I could think about was how much I wanted to be near you!"

"Lanni—"

"—God, I mean do you know how many times I just sat around and thought about you? Dreamt about you? Fantasized about you? You're _Dean Winchester_! And even though I didn't know your reputation, I knew there was so much more to you and there is! You are a hero! You and Sam! You save people because you want to and not because you have to and I swear that you're everything I've ever wanted!" I exclaimed and the tears started to come. "I have practically forced myself on you and I am _so_ sorry, Dean."

Dean shook his head. "Lanni, you didn't—"

"—of _course_ I did! _You_ wanted to keep yourself distanced from me because having feelings for each other was a weakness and now I've forced myself on you so much that I even _forced_ you to tell me you loved me! Who the Hell am I to make you _do_ that? I'm ruining your life and I—"

Dean was obviously tired of hearing me yell and watching me cry because I was silenced by him kissing me suddenly. The feel of his warm lips on mine was almost too much for me, and I felt a little overwhelmed when his fingers slipped into my hair and he brought my body closer to his, cradling me protectively. The thought that he wanted to be so near me and make me feel better made me start to cry a little and Dean shook his head and he pulled away and looked me in the eye, still holding me close, our faces only inches apart.

"Lanni—"

"—I know that you're not going to up and ditch me when I tell you but I just can't bear to think that I'm forcing things on you." I told him quickly, biting my lip.

Dean laughed a little. "Can you stop interrupting me, please?"

"Dean?" I asked him.

Dean shook his head. "No, I think it's _my_ turn."

"But—"

"—you never forced any of this on me, Lanni. I was attracted to you the minute that I laid eyes on you and even though I wanted to take off with Sam afterwards, I knew that I wanted you to come with us. Then you did, and I realized that I could talk to you about anything—I mean I've told you things that even _Sammy_ doesn't know and that's because I trust you. I trust you, and I respect you…and even though you had to take the moment into your hands I didn't lie about what I said before and I need you to get that, all right?" He asked me.

I nodded slowly. "Dean, I—"

"—the second I gave you your nickname I realized that you were part of this family and you're always going to _be_ a part of this family no matter what happens. I don't know what it is about you, Lanni, but I know on some level that I _can't_ let you go—you mean far too much about me…and you know far too much about me." He joked and then when I opened my mouth he continued. "I have _no_ idea where all of this is coming from, but I know for a fact that there is nothing that you could possibly say to me that would make me pull away. I'm in far too deep now and I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

I opened my mouth to say something again but this time Dean's mouth was covering mine again and I couldn't stop kissing him. He was just so caring and I was touched by his words of truth and kindness but then the thoughts crossed my mind again and I knew that even though this was nice and I was enjoying it, Dean had to know. He had to know why I'd gone off, and I had to come clean because if I really _was _pregnant, it would affect Dean's life too.

I pulled away and closed my eyes for a second before interrupting him again. "Dean, I think I'm pregnant."

**Note: Sorry for its shortness, but there will be a MUCH longer chapter next with some of Lana's, Sam's AND Dean's past in it and it should be up soon. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	14. The Past Always Comes Back

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"Okay, so he honestly looked at you and went 'with a baby'?" Jen asked me, laughing a little as we sat at her island counter in her kitchen. "Wow."

I swallowed. "At least he didn't just like…leave me. I mean when I looked at him like he was retarded, he nodded and he hugged me and he kissed the top of my head and I just…I think he's still digesting, so we're not really talking about it."

"But the doctor…she said you were?" Jen asked me, referring to the hospital visit that morning.

"Yeah…she said I'm definitely pregnant and we're thinking the conception date was the awkward sex talk." I told her, laughing a little. "About 6 weeks ago, Dean and I made a baby—a _baby_ Jen."

Jen laughed. "You mean as opposed to what?"

"At least he loved me then." I mused, and then I blushed when Jen's eyes widened.

Dean and I hadn't actually come out and talked about how we felt about each other to anyone else and now I'd blurted it out. So with practically no prodding at all I explained everything to her and she told me she was happy for me, but worried at the same time and I certainly couldn't blame her for that. I knew that there was so much more to Dean than his reputation as a womanizer, but at the same time I understood completely that his fear could potentially push us farther apart.

Right when I was trying to explain to her that I was pretty sure Dean and I could get through this as long as we stuck together, my phone rang so I took it out of my jacket pocket. It was a restricted number so I just let it go to voicemail—if they didn't leave a message than it wasn't important anyway. The thing was though, they _did_ leave a message so I checked my voicemail after it signaled me that I had a message and I was shocked to say the least.

"Lana, I know this is probably surprising that I'm calling you, but I think the two of us should talk about some things. I know you, and I knew your biological mother, and I know Annie. I haven't told Sam or Dean because my sons have far too much on their plates already but I wanted to let you know that I've seen them too. Right now I'm focused on my own case, but I have information for you as well. Call me back at 985-562-4527." John explained.

I stared at the phone and swallowed as I saved the message. "John called."

"Whoa! Really? You should call him back then." Jen told me, suddenly alert. "I mean if he is the way for you to avenge what happened to Marcus and Bethany than you need to do just that."

"I know, I just…I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed. I mean all of this is happening right now, and it's happening really fast." I told her and bit my lip. "I'll call him back later when my stomach doesn't feel so queasy."

Jen smiled sympathetically. "Morning sickness?"

"No…nervousness." I replied.

Jen nodded at me and took my hand in hers, then after a little more catching up and hanging out with Kevin when he got back, I headed back to my house to the boys packing. Sam explained that John had called them and given them the means for a hunt and I smiled and nodded, packing and looking up when Dean came into my room and opened up my underwear drawer to help me pack.

I chuckled a little. "What's with the helping me pack the unmentionables?"

"I dunno about 'unmentionable'—I like these." Dean replied, holding up one of my pairs of Marvel Super Hero boxers. "Let me guess: your favorite is Wolverine?"

"Oh God, no! I'm totally into Wade Wilson…Deadpool." I added when he looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Isn't he the guy with the scar? The mercenary?"

"Just the one. He's 'The Merc with the Mouth'. He's cheeky, he's horny, he's hot, he plays with swords, he doesn't take crap from anyone, he's—"

"—me?" Dean asked with a chuckle, tossing me the boxers.

I caught them and put them in my duffle and smiled. "Yeah…I guess you could look at it like that. Except of course that _you_ don't play with swords and I think you're a genuinely good person whereas Wade? Not so much."

"Knives are close enough." Dean said with a shrug and then he came over to me and took a deep breath, resting his hands on my shoulders and turning me to look at him. "How are you, Lanni?"

I smiled a little at his attempt to let me know that he cared and that he wasn't pushing me away even though I knew he was scared. We were _both_ really scared about how we were going to be parents and it was really nice to know Dean wasn't just burying the problem or walking away and so I just smiled a little and shrugged. When he started to stroke my hair with one of his hands I smiled a little more and took a step towards him, resting my hands on his open button-up and looked at his t-shirt.

"I told my Dad." Dean told me in the silence.

I looked up at him and our eyes met. "Yeah? How did he take it? What did he say? Does he hate me?"

"Lanni? That mouth of yours, as adorable as it is, needs to close sometimes." Dean laughed and I smiled a little and nodded. "He told me to be careful, and to make sure that I let you know that I'm not going anywhere."

"Seriously?" I asked him softly.

Dean nodded and I realized that he was confused as to the tone in my voice but I couldn't be anything _but_ confused. If John actually knew things about me and my biological mother than why in the world would he want Dean to stay near me? To _procreate_ with me? Then again the procreating part had come as a surprise to both of us and it wasn't like we could take it back now that it was done…so maybe John just wanted Dean to do the right thing and take responsibility…

"What is it?" Dean asked me.

I just shook my head to wave it off but Dean placed his fingers under my chin and raised my eyes up to his and they practically bored into me. He seemed so serious, and so in need of an actual answer and I didn't have anything for him—I couldn't talk about my mother, or my father or Annie…there was still too much _I_ couldn't face, so why tell Dean about it? It probably wasn't a good decision, but I was sticking to it whether it was or not.

"I think we should go ahead and focus on this hunt your father is sending us on." I told him, kissing him before he could protest. "Besides, sitting around here all comfy and cozy is getting boring."

Dean smiled at my joke. "Oh yeah? Hey…Lanni?"

"No, Dean—I'm _not_ staying behind." I told him, turning back to my duffle and zipping it up. "I'm pregnant, not useless."

"Lanni, the job we do is dangerous." Dean said. "And no, I'm not saying this so I can ditch you and not own up to this."

I sighed as he rested his hand gingerly on my stomach. "I wasn't going to say that."

"Consider it at least?" Dean asked me, leaning towards me and looking me in the eye, sighing as I shook my head. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

"I was born that way." I replied with a shrug and headed out to the car with him and Sam.

The three of us piled into the Impala even though Sam brought up that maybe I should stay behind too, and when I got upset about it the two relented and we got out onto the road. At one point I had them pull over so I could buy some things from a gas station, and while Dean filled up the car, I answered my cell phone as it rang.

"Hi." I said slowly, smiling a little bit.

"Hi, Lana." John told me softly. "I hope I've caught you at a good moment."

I smiled and picked out a bag of chips. "I'm doing great, actually. What's up?"

"Look, I didn't want to do this—especially now that I know you're pregnant—but I'm close on the trail of the woman that killed your parents. Her name is Nora, and I think she may be headed to Georgia. I'm going to keep you posted. I just wanted you to know, all right?"

"Thank you for that. Do you mind if I ask you how you know me? How you know my mother and Annie? Why you wanna help me?" I asked him, hoping I wasn't stepping on any toes asking him my questions.

John chuckled a little. "I owe your mother—that's something that I can explain to you when I see you next. For now, just know that I have your best interests at heart, regardless of the kind of heritage you have."

"I guess I can take that for what it is, so thank you, John." I told him. "I'll talk to you when you have more information about Nora for me."

"Bye for now, Lana." John said.

I nodded and we said our 'goodbyes', me heading back out to the car and getting into the backseat with my food and my Vitamin Water, wishing I had a coffee. I had a rather large smile on my face and Sam was looking over what John had given to them, and it was looking like it would be a good hunt. I knew I had to be careful since I was pregnant, but I really still wanted to help Sam and Dean out as much as I could.

"You know, I love your Dad." I told them.

Sam laughed a little and made a face. "That's good to know."

"So this place is called Fitchburg?" I asked them, changing the subject.

Dean nodded, but so far Sam wasn't convinced that any of the information we had was leading us to an _actual_ hunt. He didn't find anything strange about Fitchburg, be it in local newspapers or in police records, and soon I had to agree with him…except I felt like we had to do this. John didn't seem like the kind of hunter that would send us on a hunt that wasn't a real hunt.

"Are you sure you got the coordinates right?" Sam asked Dean.

"Yeah, I double-checked: it's Fitchburg, Wisconsin. Dad wouldn't send us coordinates if it wasn't important, Sammy." Dean said curtly.

Sam sighed. "Well, I'm telling you. I looked and all I could find is a big steamy pile of nothing. If Dad is sending us hunting for something, I don't know what."

"Because it's hidden." I piped up as we drove.

"Why do you say that?" Sam asked me, looking back at me for a moment.

I opened up my laptop and shrugged. "Because it always is."

"Or maybe he's gonna meet us there." Dean offered hopefully.

"Yeah, 'cause he's been so easy to find up to this point." Sam told him sarcastically.

Dean made a face. "You're a real smart-ass, you know that? Don't worry I'm sure there's something in Fitchburg worth killing."

"Or at least worth finding." I laughed.

I knew by now that it was never a good idea to joke around while the boys were sort of arguing, but I was in a pretty good mood—John was going to help me to avenge the death of my adopted parents. There really wasn't anything that could get me down right then—not even any of my slightly negative, conflicting feelings about what was going on around us. Something was here, I just wasn't sure exactly what that was yet, and I wasn't sure I could fix it…

"Yeah? What makes you so sure?" Sam asked us.

"Because I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right." Dean told him and shrugged. "Besides—if Lanni thinks something is here, we should trust her instincts."

Sam rolled his eyes. "You being older doesn't mean you're always right—Lan's instincts, however, I am willing to put faith in."

"Good thing you guys have a girl on your side, because otherwise we'd be _totally_ lost." I smiled at the two of them as they laughed.

Then we pretty much went silent as I sent out some e-mails and such, and then once we got into Fitchburg, we parked by a school yard and Sam leaned against the car and observed. When Dean came over to join Sam and me, he told us that nobody had heard anything weird and that kind of bothered me as I looked around the playground…it was _far_ too quiet.

"What time is it?" Sam asked.

I checked my watch. "It's 4:10. It's too quiet for the time kids should be getting out of school. Let me tell you, I was a loud one."

"You're loud now." Dean told me, but he smiled and so did I, and then pointed out how quiet it was to a little girls' mother who mentioned that kids were getting sick.

For a second I just chorused with Sam that it was a shame, but then a shiver went up my spine and I felt the blood rush away from my face. This was no coincidence, and I knew that I couldn't be there no matter what. There was pretty much no way on God's green Earth that I could sit around while kids were taken one by one…sit around while my past suddenly caught up to me.

"Lanni?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head slowly and took a few steps back. "I can't do this. I'm sorry."

I hurried back off to the Impala and got in the backseat, packing up some things and shaking my head as I muttered to myself. When I got my things together, I pulled them out of the backseat, Sam and Dean showing up to tell me we had to go to the hospital and they were both worried about me.

"Are you all right?" Dean asked me, and frowned when I took a step back from him. "Lanni, what is going on with you?"

I bit my lip as the tears formed in my eyes. "I can't stay in this town."

"Lan, we need more than that." Sam told me softly. "Can you tell us more than that?"

"Look, can I just go to the motel and research a little more?" I asked them softly. "Please?"

Sam and Dean nodded, and the two of them took me to the motel before they headed to the hospital and I called Jen on her cell phone, desperately needing her assistance with this. She answered after a few rings and I didn't even let her get through her greeting or get in a joke before I was already talking and trying to calm down and breathe.

"I can't be here anymore, Jenny!" I exclaimed, sitting down, taking deep breaths.

"Lan? What the Hell is wrong?" She asked me, trying really hard to get me to calm down. "You sound like you're hyperventilating! Breathe!"

I shook my head as I took a breath. "I got her killed and now it's back, Jen! I think the Shtriga is here and I can't do this! I can't!"

"The Shritga? Really?" Jen asked me calmly. "Lan…I think you need to face this."

"How can I face this, Jenny? I got my little sister _killed_! This is the one that got away from me and I know that part of me wants revenge against it, but I'm not strong enough! I'm not!" I told her, the tears coming out. "I'm the reason my baby sister is gone…"

Jen tried to calm me down for the next ten minutes or so and I took a few deep breaths and then I got a call from Dean who told me that the kids' bodies were all wearing out and that each time one kid got sick, it was the next siblings' turn the next night. It was the Shtriga's pattern, and though they didn't know what we were dealing with, I was pretty damn sure I did. So I told them I'd meet them at the latest victim's house, and when I got in there I was a little jumpy but I tried to assure the boys that I was fine as I looked around the room.

"You know this might not be anything supernatural, it might just be pneumonia." Sam told Dean and me as I slowly made it over to the window.

Dean shrugged at him. "Maybe…or maybe something opened that window. I don't know, man. Look, Dad sent us down here for a reason. I think we might be barking up the right tree."

"Open the window." I said, rubbing my arms because I suddenly felt cold.

Sam did so, and nodded. "Hey Dean, you were right, it's not pneumonia."

Dean went over to the window too, but I backed up in the room a little—I knew _exactly_ what we were dealing with, and it wasn't good. This thing fed on the innocence of children and because of my weakness so many years ago, I was now an only child and I had to live with Annie's death every day.

"It's rotted." Sam said. "What the hell leaves a handprint like that?"

"A Shtriga." I told them slowly. "It's a child killer—or almost. I just—can we leave please? I really can't be in here."

"Is there something—" Sam began.

I shook my head at him as I backed up towards the door of the room. "I'll explain when we're out of here. Please. Let's just go."

I got out of the room and went to the Impala, placing my hands on the hood and taking breaths to stop the tears, but I couldn't. Because I hadn't been strong enough to defeat this monster in the past, there were more little kids being killed off and I was responsible for it. It was my job to clean up this mess but how was I supposed to do that? I didn't have the strength to face this monster…I didn't have it in me.

"I know why Dad sent us here." Dean told Sam. "He's faced this thing before. He wants us to finish the job."

I wiped tears away and shook my head, not letting either of them touch me. "I never wanted to see that Shtriga again. I got away from it once, but that—oh God, this is all my fault."

"This isn't your fault, Lanni." Dean told me firmly, and something in his voice made me think that he was feeling guilty too. "So…you've seen it?"

I nodded. "It's not something you forget—that kind of thing scars you. It's what got me asking my mother about the supernatural—started me off wanting to hunt the bad things so no one else would have to deal with them."

"So, what the Hell is a Shtriga?" Sam asked as we got out of the car and went into the motel.

"It's kind of a witch, I think. I don't know much about them." Dean said with a shrug.

Sam nodded slowly. "Well, I've never heard of it, and it's not in Dad's journal."

"But it's _very_ real." I explained and shrugged. "It's _very_ real, and it's _definitely_ here."

"Dad hunted one in Fort Douglas, Wisconsin, about 16 or 17 years ago. You were there,

you don't remember?" Dean asked Sam.

"No." Sam replied, looking at both of us.

Dean nodded slowly. "And I guess he caught wind one of these thing's in Fitchburg now and kicked us the coordinates."

"So wait, this…" Sam began.

"Shtriga." Dean finished.

Sam nodded at him. "You think it's the same one Dad hunted before?"

"Huh, maybe." Dean said.

"But if Dad went after it, why is it still breathing air?" Sam asked again. "I mean no offense, Lan, but my Dad takes out everything."

Dean shrugged at him. "Cause it got away."

"Got away?" Sam asked unbelievingly.

"Yeah Sammy, it happens." Dean said impatiently.

"Not very often." Sam told him.

Dean got a little angry and it was obvious then that this was personal with him—almost just as personal with him as it was with me. I wasn't sure what his back story with it was, but I was pretty certain that I was going to have to explain about Annie now. They weren't going to let me off the hook with this and I wouldn't let them.

"Oh I don't know what to tell you, maybe Dad didn't have his Wheaties that morning." Dean said angrily.

"What else do you remember?" Sam asked.

"Nothing, I was a kid, alright?" Dean said, wanting to change the subject.

Sam just nodded and then we all went back to the motel, going past Joanna and her son, Michael, going to our room. I paced a little and got upset when Dean came towards me again and his own anger mixed with mine was making Sam uncomfortable. We were about to fight and he didn't want to be here for it, but he had to research, and he knew there was always a chance he'd have to be the mediator, so he stayed put as he opened up his laptop.

"Will you let me try to be comforting, please?" Dean asked me, his voice raised a little.

I turned to look at him. "If you touch me, I'm going to lose it, so no!"

"You can't blame yourself for this!" Dean told me.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I snapped at him. "This Albanian witch is going to feed off of the life force of children until it has its fill and it's because apparently not only did _I _let it get away, but your Dad did too!"

Dean's eyes flashed. "Don't talk about my father with that tone!"

"If you tell me what to do one more time!" I yelled back, getting into his face.

"Guys!" Sam exclaimed.

Dean and I looked at each other for another moment before turning to Sam and Sam nodded slowly and then pointed at his laptop. He'd found something, and by the look on his face he wasn't happy about it, which meant that the two of us weren't going to be happy about it either. This Shtriga was causing more problems than I was hoping she would be and I wanted badly not to have to deal with this all at once.

"Lan is right—this Shtriga is an Albanian witch that prefers to feed on the life force of children because their life forces are stronger. Also, 'Shtrigas are invulnerable to all weapons devised by God and men'." Sam read to us.

"Great." I muttered.

Dean shook his head. "No, that's not right. She's vulnerable when she feeds."

"What?" Sam asked him, looking up at him as I looked back at him.

"If you catch her when she's eating, you can blast her with consecrated wrought irons, buckshots or rounds I think." Dean explained.

I tried to get him to look me in the eye. "How do you know that?"

"Dad told me, I remember." He answered heading over to search something in a notebook.

Sam nodded angrily. "Oh! So anything else Dad might have mentioned?"

"No, that's it…what?" He asked seeing Sam and me staring at him.

"Nothing." Sam said, looking back at the computer screen.

I crossed my arms over my chest at the animosity in the room. "We need to find her before we deal with anything else."

"Well that won't be a cakewalk. Shtrigas take on human forms when they're not feeding." Sam explained.

"Then we have to figure out what disguise." I told them. "Most likely an old woman."

"Really?" Dean asked.

Sam nods. "She's right."

"Dead center of the houses that have been attacked was the hospital. When we were there, I saw a patient, an old woman..." Dean said.

He trailed off as Sam got a goofy look on his face and I took a seat on Sam's bed, not wanting to sit next to Dean right that moment. The three of us were trying really hard to just focus on the hunt, but there were a lot of things that the three of us had to get over and that meant coming clean. It meant 'sharing and caring' and it was pretty common knowledge that Dean didn't do that sort of thing if he could help it.

"An old person, huh?" Sam asked Dean.

"Yeah." Dean replied.

Sam smiled at him. "In the hospital? Wow, better call the coast guards."

"Oh, listen smart-ass," Dean answered, "she had an inverted cross hanging on her wall."

"You two should go check it out, but I'm not going." I told them firmly, resting my hands on the end of the bed.

Sam and Dean turned to me and they both made different faces at me that I didn't like. I knew I was being childish because this thing was _killing children_, but I was not going to be a liability to them when I knew when it came down to it, I was going to paralyzed again by fear.

"Why not?" Sam asked me with care in his voice. "I thought you were safer with us."

I looked up at him. "I just—please don't make me."

"Why don't you just tell us what's up with you?" Dean asked me.

"Why don't you go check up on the woman with the inverted cross?" I asked him.

He gave me a look and I gave him one back, which made him angrily grab his coat and head directly out of the door. Sam sighed and I shook my head at him when he opened his mouth to speak and headed out too. They went to the hospital and didn't really find anything, coming back in silence and getting ready to sleep on it and go back to work first thing in the morning. I changed into my sleep wear as well and then climbed into the bed with Dean, his back to me in a huff.

"Don't." Dean said firmly when I rested my hand on his side.

I took a breath because I knew I deserved it. "Look…I wasn't always an only child, all right?"

I took my hand away from him and turned to lay on my back, resting the back of my hand on my forehead and looking up at the ceiling. The weight shifted as the tears came to my eyes and Dean propped his head up on his hand, reaching his arm over me and resting it on the other side of me, pulling my body closer to his, which just made the tears come. The whole reason I hadn't wanted him to touch me or to comfort me was because I knew I would lose it, and now I was crying and even Sam was alert to what was going on as Dean held me even closer and ran his nose along my hairline, kissing my temple softly.

"Is that what this is about?" Dean asked me.

I nodded slowly, still looking up at the ceiling. "I got my little sister killed, Dean. I looked that Shtriga in the eye and I couldn't kill it and Annie suffered."

"Lanni, we're going to kill this son of a bitch." Dean told me.

"I know, I just…I can't do this." I said softly and turned to face him, snuggling into him and kissing his neck softly. "I want to help but I don't think I have the strength in me. Just _thinking_ about the Shtriga makes me practically hyperventilate."

Dean kissed me. "I am going to right this, Lanni."

I nodded and kissed him, holding onto him and then groaning softly when he bit my bottom lip and then slipped his tongue into my mouth.

"Dean, that's not fair." I whispered, trying to catch my breath. "You've gotten me all horny now and we can't because Sam is right there."

Sam sighed. "And still sadly awake."

"Sorry, Sammy. We'll sleep, I promise." I told him, and snuggled into Dean as he stroked my hair and held me close to him protectively.

Something had changed between us and as far as I was concerned, it was for the better, and I hugged him close, falling asleep feeling protected. Then when we woke up, we found out that Michael's little brother had been attacked by the Shtriga, and Sam and I offered to babysit him while Dean took his mother to the hospital. I was really upset that I hadn't been able to feel the Shtriga's presence the night before, but I was stressed…and now one more kid had paid for my mistakes.

"You want to go to the playground?" I asked him softly.

Michael shrugged. "Nah."

"How about I read you a story? I know that when I was younger, my little sister liked me to read to her. It could help take your mind off things." I offered, smiling at him fondly.

"All right." Michael answered with a nod.

I smiled and grabbed my Hans Christian Anderson book from my duffle, reading a few stories out loud to him until Sam decided to head to the library. When he was off researching, Michael and I played some board games and I realized that someday this was going to be me—someday _I_ was going to have my own child to read to and play with and I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to have all of this extra responsibility…was I?

"There's my baby." Joanna said when she and Dean got back. "Thank you so much for watching him."

I smiled and rustled Michael's hair. "It was my pleasure. How is Asher?"

"He's…I'm sure he's going to be all right." Joanna replied.

I smiled at her and nodded, following Dean back to the motel, Sam meeting up with us. Dean told us that the doctor was the Shtriga, and that we really needed to finish this up because he was getting really upset about it all.

"I'm surprised you didn't take him out." I said, hugging my knees to me as I sat on mine and Dean's bed.

Dean shrugged a little. "Yeah, well number one, I wasn't going to just open fire on him in a pediatric ward."

"Good thinking." Sam told him.

"Number two, the bastard's bullet proof unless he's chowing down on something. And number three, I wasn't packing. Which is probably good because I would have burned a clip in him just for the principle of the thing." Dean answered.

Sam smiled at his brother. "You're getting wise in your old age, Dean."

"Damn right." Dean said and Sam nodded.

I sat up and frowned a little. "He'll come back for Michael."

"Then we have to move him." Sam said, nodding slowly.

Dean shook his head. "We should use him for bait."

"Are you nuts?" Sam asked him. "No, forget it, that's out of the question."

"It's not out of the question, Sam. It's the only way. If this thing disappears, it could be years before we get another chance." Dean explained.

Sam shook his head in protest. "Michael's a kid. And I'm not gonna dangle him in front of that thing like a worm on a hook."

"I have to side with Sam here. It's wrong to make any kid endure that." I told him.

"Dad did _not _send me here to walk away." Dean said.

"Send you here? He didn't send _you_ here, he sent _us_ here." Sam corrected him.

That seemed to touch a nerve with Dean and I stood up, sighing a little and looked at him as Sam looked at him too. We really wanted him to come clean, especially since he had said he was going to finish this and now he was starting to get antsy which was never good with Dean. Dean Winchester trigger happy could really only go one of two ways and this hunt had to do with kids so _nothing_ could go wrong.

"This isn't about you Sam, alright? _I'm_ the one that screwed up. It's my fault, there's no telling how many kids have gotten hurt because of me." Dean said and then he looked at me. "This isn't your fault, Lanni."

I was thoroughly confused. "What?"

"What are you saying, Dean? How is it your fault? Dean, you've been hiding something from the get-go. Since when does Dad bail on a hunt? Since when does he let something get away? Now talk to me, man. Tell me what's going on." Sam told him. "I mean we at least know now that Lan faced it."

"Fort Douglas, Wisconsin. It was the 3rd night in this crap-room and I was climbing the walls, man. I needed to get some air." Dean began with a sigh.

Then he began to tell us about how John had left him with Sam and had given him explicit instructions to stay with Sam—stay in the room with him while he was sleeping. However, he wanted to go play a video game, so he left, and came back to the Shtriga trying to get Sam, so he picked up the gun, and the witch reacted to the metallic click but Dean didn't shoot right away—he hesitated. Then John entered the room, told Dean to move away and he fired a full round of bullets at the Shtriga who escaped through the window. Then he took Sam in his arms and made sure he was all right before scolding Dean for leaving when he was told not to.

"Dad just grabbed us and booked. Dropped us off at Pastor Jim's, about 3 hours away. By the time he got back to Fort Douglas, the Shtriga had disappeared. It was just gone—it never resurfaced until now. Dad never spoke about it again… I didn't ask but he…he looked at me different, you know, which is worse. Not that I blame him. He gave me an order and I didn't listen, and I almost got you killed." Dean said regretfully.

Sam looked at his brother lovingly. "You were just a kid."

"You can't take the blame for that." I whispered, smiling a little because Dean had told me the exact same thing and I had gotten upset about it when in all reality, sometimes monsters got away…sometimes we couldn't get the job done—we were only human.

"Don't. Don't. Dad knew this was unfinished business for me. He sent me here to finish it." Dean explained.

I nodded slowly. "I get how you can blame yourself—you disobeyed a direct order. At least Sam is around, Dean. When I first came in contact with the Shtriga, it took my sister—it killed her. I came into her room and read her a bedtime story, and as always, laid there on her bed with her until she fell asleep. The window opened, and then in came that terrible monster and it knelt by my sister—ignored me—just wanted her. Growing up in the environment that I did—but not being allowed to touch the guns—I knew to go to my mother, so I did and told her Annie was in trouble, and when she came up to see it was too late—I panicked. I just sat there. I didn't scream or anything. It even took me a moment or two to move. Then it was my turn the next night. I didn't scream when it came in my window. I just looked at it. It was a good thing my mother came in and tried to get it—but it escaped—then it either went to you, or it went into hiding. Either way, it's not just your fault. At least you pointed a gun at it—I just stood there like a dumb little girl." I recounted, in tears. "You know how tough I am now? I have to make up for it because deep down I'm a coward. Part of me wanted to die that night it came back—I don't deserve to be here when Annie paid for my mistakes."

Sam and Dean came and sat on the bed with me and I smiled a little but wiped my tears away and leaned my head on Dean as he kissed the top of my head. Sam ran his fingers through my hair and then grasped my left hand and I nodded and then shook my head and stood up, straightening myself out. No…I was not going to be that cowardly little girl any longer—I was going to help to kill this Shtriga for once and for all and that was all there was to it.

"It's really not your fault." Sam said. "Either of you."

I smiled at him softly as I stood there looking at them. "Look Sam, I know you mean well, but who else can we blame. It's our responsibility—and my sister's gone because I stood there. She was my little sister, Sam, and she's gone. I can't bring her back, and it was my fault I didn't scream and interrupt her. I've never been the same since then. All of this talking about it, is really just making me realize that I _have_ to kill it. I don't want to use Michael, but if that's our only hope…we have to take the chance."

"No—I still don't like using Michael as bait. How about me?" Sam asked me.

"That won't work. We need a pure source—a child. Believe me, I don't like it, but it's gotta be the kid." Dean told us firmly.

I nodded and took a breath to stop the tear. "Then it's what we have to do."

It was really eating away at me that we were going to have to use an innocent child as bait to such a terrible monster, and I rested my hand on my stomach as we went to talk Michael into helping us out. I was going to be a mother in nine months, and I was actually _willing_ to possibly sacrifice a _child_? What was wrong with me? Something inside of me was definitely telling me right then that I was definitely not supposed to procreate. Deep down I'd always wanted to be a mother, but in my chosen profession, it just wasn't in the cards and it shouldn't have been.

"I'll be back." I said suddenly, going back to the motel room to possibly throw up, coming back out a few minutes later and running into Sam and Dena in the hall. "What happened?"

Dean sighed. "He won't do it."

"Give me a minute." I told them and I went outside and found Michael. "Hey. Sorry we bombarded you earlier."

"I'm still taking it all in." Michael shrugged a little.

I nodded. "It's a big thing to take in. Look, this is going to sound terrible, but I lost my sister to this thing, and I can't—I just want you to know that you helping us could really help us to save all the other kids that could be affected by this in the future. I don't want to make you do this—in fact I would give _anything _not to let you do this—and if you don't want to, we won't make you—we'll find another way. This is just the best plan we can think of right now."

I ruffled his hair as Michael nodded, telling me that he would think about it and I smiled and headed back to the motel room. I stood outside the motel room door and rested my hand on my stomach again, shaking my head and wishing I wasn't such a terrible person before I headed inside. So I went in and told Sam and Dean that he was thinking about it, closing my eyes and nodding as a knock on the door sounded and Dean opened it up to Michael standing there.

"If you kill it, will Asher get better?" Michael asked him, me turning around to smile sadly at him.

Dean took a deep breath. "Honestly, we don't know."

"You said you're a big brother?" Michael asked.

"Yeah." Dean replied with a nod.

Michael nodded too. "You take care of your little brother? You'd do anything for him?"

"Yeah, I would." Dean told him, smiling a little at the young boy assessing him.

"Me too." Michael admitted and then he nodded. "I'll do it."

I couldn't help but speak up. "You sure you want to do this?"

Michael nodded, and then Dean looked at Sam and I, and we nodded in agreement. We began by installing a camera in Michael's bedroom and then Michael asked what he was supposed to do. I was second-guessing the plan but I kept my mouth shut about that and just smiled at Michael and tried to be my charming, convincing self.

"Just stay under the covers." I told him. "Just act like you're sleeping."

Dean nodded at him. "We'll be in the other room with the guns, and when we come in after the Shtriga shows up, you need to hide under your bed, okay?"

"You sure you won't shoot me?" Michael asked.

I smiled and sat on the bed, stroking his hair. "I promise you, they're terrific shots. They won't fire until it's clear."

"Oh, and another thing: gun shots are much louder than in the movies so you'll have to cover your ears and not come out from under your bed until we say so." Dean told him. "Michael, you're sure you wanna do this? You don't have to, it's okay. I won't be mad. Lana is always convincing, so I want to make sure."

"No, I'm okay. Just don't shoot me." Michael said strongly.

Dean smiled at his strength. "We're not gonna let anything happen to you. I promise."

"Remember, we'll be right over there." I told Michael softly. "You want me to stay or anything? Because I can stay with you if you need it."

Michael shook his head. "I'm okay."

I nodded and hugged him. "You're a brave kid."

We watched from the next room and by the time it was 3 a.m. still nothing had come through the window. It was starting to feel like nothing was going to happen and I wanted to go in and check on Michael, but I also didn't want to ruin this if the Shtriga really _was_ going to show. I couldn't let this Shtriga get out of this town—I couldn't let it live.

"Are you sure iron rounds are going to work?" Sam asked Dean and me.

I shrugged a little. "Maybe."

"Hey Dean, I'm sorry." Sam said suddenly.

"For what?" Dean asked him.

Sam sighed a little bit. "You know, I've really given you a lot of crap for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it."

"Oh God, kill me now." Dean replied with a sigh.

"How about don't do it, God: we need him for this." I told the ceiling.

Suddenly, the hand of the Shtriga appeared on the screen of the camera we had placed in Michael's room. Michael watched her open the window and then Sam and Dean got ready, but Dean made me stay put until the Shtriga was above Michael when I made a sudden move to go and save him. Michael took refuge under his bed, and then the three of us went in and started to fire, the Shtriga falling on the floor.

Dean went up to see if the Shtriga was dead, but she got up and sent Dean flying up against a wall. Then she disarmed me and smiled, backhanding me in the face and sending me across the room with one throw. Next she disarmed Sam and began to suck away his life force, Dean caught her attention as I got up, and then shot her in the head. This time, since the Shtriga was actually feeding, the bullet killed it and suddenly I felt a huge wave of relief sweep over me.

"You okay little brother?" Dean asked Sam, at his side as I went for Michael.

Sam just nodded as Dean shot the rest of his bullets into the already disintegrating Shtriga and then I couldn't help but shoot a few into it as well, before tossing Dean the gun and getting on my hands and knees. Poor Michael was probably completely scarred now, and I smiled at him as his eyes and mine made contact and he seemed scared, and yet incredibly brave.

"You can come out now, Michael." I told him.

Michael came out from underneath his bed, and I took his hand. "Is it over?"

"Yeah. It's over." I nodded to him. "It's safe now."

"Thank you." Michael said, hugging me.

I hugged him back and then tucked him in, having Dean make sure the window was shut and locked, and then we went back to our motel room and went to sleep, getting up the next morning and packing completely. We were putting our things in the trunk when Joanna, came over to us with the good news about Asher and the other kids being saved. As we were leaving, I waved to Michael who smiled at me and waved back, and I felt like I was going to miss him—I was proud of him.

"It's too bad." Sam said softly.

Dean shook his head. "No, they'll be fine."

"It's not what I meant. I meant, Michael. He will always know that there are things out there in the dark. He'll never be the same, you know? Sometimes I wish that…" Sam began, but then he trailed off.

"What?" Dean asked.

Sam looked at him as we drove. "I wish that I could have that kind of innocence."

"I know what you mean." I said with a nod.

Dean nodded as well. "If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could, too."

"I wish we _all_ could have been more innocent longer." I said and then I rested my hand on my stomach and I took a deep breath as Dean looked at me in the rear view mirror.

"Is Annie the reason why you turned to everything you turned to?" Dean asked me. "Is she that pivotal moment that turned you into a hunter?"

I nodded slowly and looked up. "After she died, I knew that it was up to me to save everyone I could from that fate—I—I'm surprised I didn't freeze that last time. That thing had me so messed up and now it's gone."

"You have us Lanni." Dean said softly.

Sam nodded and turned around a little to look at me. "We'll always have your back."

I smiled at them because it meant quite a lot to me to have their support, and at the same time I was feeling pretty bad about everything that was going on. For some reason I was freaking out, and I needed to voice it because that was how I was. All of this was happening so fast and I didn't think I could handle it—I didn't think I could do it.

"I am going to be a terrible mother." I said suddenly and Sam and Dean both glanced at me. "I am going to be a terrible mother."

**Note: There is some of Lana's past. Now some dark stuff is ahead as is some really sad stuff, so be prepared. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	15. Getting Dean to Care and Share

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay this chapter is full of a lot of stuff, including smut.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I was the most surprised that Sam flat out told me to make things up to Lana while he checked up on some things with Bobby Singer—one of our father's friends—and everything. We were both pretty worried about Lana's outburst in the car and though we had both set to tell her that there was no way she would be a terrible mother, my girl was stubborn and she was pretty sure she was doomed. Part of me had a feeling that it was my fault as well, mainly because I didn't want to talk about the baby, nor had I really been making her feel entirely like I wanted to have her around as of late.

Truth of the matter was that I was scared—I was scared that I was going to be a father, and I was scared of how close to Lana I was. Sooner or later she was going to want something more from me, and I didn't know how much more of me I could give her without putting her in even more danger. Damn woman had gone and made me fall in love with her and I'd gone and knocked her up and though part of me was giddy about it, the part of me that was sacred about what all of this meant was winning out.

"Why is Sam taking the car?" Lana asked me as she slung her duffle over her shoulder and looked at me. "I'm not in the mood, so whatever he thinks he's doing, you should stop him."

I took a breath and she headed for the office, getting us a room with two doubles and then claiming ours as she always did. Then she got ready for bed and laid on it, opening up one of her many books she brought with her, propped up against the headboard, reading. She was kind of rather attractive when she read, her head cocked to one side, and a fingernail in her mouth, her legs crossed. So I took a deep breath and I pulled off my shirt and undid my belt, pushing off my jeans and crawling onto the bed with her.

"What are you reading?" I asked her, kissing her bare shoulder softly, willing myself not to simply pull the tank off of her now.

She smiled a little and rested her head against mine. "I'm reading 'Othello'. It's about a man who is deceived by his best, most trusted friend, and kills his wife."

"Wow—talk about depressing." I told her, laughing a little. "You are kind of a freak, you know that?"

"Thank you." She replied, laughing too and then she kissed my nose as I looked at her. "Dean, I'm sorry."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "For what, Lanni?"

"Um, hello—for getting myself knocked up." She told me, closing her book and putting her fingers to my lips as I started to protest. "I should have been smarter about all of it."

"Lanni? You have to stop putting blame on yourself for _everything_." I told her sternly, running my hand up her leg and shaking my head when she started to talk again. "You need to shut the yap."

She stopped my hand when I made it to the opening in her boxers with my fingers. "I believe I said I wasn't in the mood."

"You lied." I replied with a shrug.

"Oh I lied, did I?" She asked me with a laugh.

I nodded slowly our eyes locked as she bit her lip and then glanced at mine, which made me smirk. She wanted it and I knew she did, so I simply looked at her eyes as she looked at my mouth as I often did, and then she groaned pleasantly and I slipped my fingers into her boxers, frowning a little. The frown caused her focus to shift and she looked me in the eye again, cocking her head to the side which honestly was going to be my undoing if she kept it up.

"What?" She asked me, smirking a little when I sighed. "You afraid of a little work?"

I laughed a little. "Oh so you _planned_ this?"

"Of course not—I just naturally put panties on and _then_ the boxers." She replied sarcastically. "If you want this, you're going to have to do a little work for it…" Lana told me and then started to get off the bed but I had other plans.

xx

**Lana's POV**

I was pretty sure that the entire set-up here was planned by Sam and Dean and though part of me didn't want to play right into their hands, part of me wanted this with Dean, and wanted this with Dean _badly_. So I let him pin me to the bed and then kissed him, smiling a little against his lips as he was shocked for a moment or two, but then responded readily. He was all I wanted and for now I had to count my blessings because I had him and he honestly wanted to be here…I needed to be thankful.

"I love you." I whispered as his lips left mine to kiss my jaw line and then my neck.

Dean paused a moment and then kissed my neck resolutely. "You too."

Part of me wanted to talk to him about his hesitation, but he honestly meant it—I could tell by the tone in his voice. Besides, if I tried to talk to Dean Winchester about feelings, and got upset about his hesitation to say 'I love you', this 'encounter' of ours was so over. I knew that 'love' was a word that Dean never used, and if I kept trying to pressure him into saying it, I was just one of those girls I didn't want to be.

All that really mattered was that I loved him, and he was here for me when he could have up and left a long time ago. Just that fact that he was so willing to have me in his life was flattering, and I was rather pleased that even though something big had happened to us, he was still here. Now whether he was still here because he wanted to be here, or whether he was still here simply because his father told him to be was _completely_ up for debate.

"I think it's time I do something for you, Mister." I told him softly, kissing him swiftly and pushing on him a little, sighing when he wouldn't budge. "I'm horny too, Dean, but honestly."

He laughed as I did. "Lanni, I don't need to be serviced through making you do things for me—I just want to be with you."

"And in order for _that_ to happen, I have to be allowed to do things _to_ you." I told him with a laugh, sliding my hand down his torso. "You've taught me well, I think."

"Lanni…that's not fair." He breathed out as I slipped my hand into his boxers.

I smiled and kissed him softly as I tugged on him a little. "Life isn't fair."

"Aren't you just adorable?" Dean asked me with a small laugh, and kissed me back, rocking against my hand as I changed the pressure on him. "You're a fast learner."

"Oh, I know." I replied, and kissed him again.

For a little while we just kissed and let our hands and tongues do the talking, but soon Dean was no longer open to the idea of not being the one in control. He liked to be the one that initiated things, and have things go the way _he_ wanted them to go, so soon the tables had turned and I was the one biting my lips trying to concentrate as he did things to me instead. It seemed to amuse him too when I told him not to be such a damn control-freak, even though we both knew it was good for me.

"I thought you didn't want to drag it out." I puffed out as his fingers pushed in and out. "I thought—"

"—I thought you _did_." Dean protested, closing his eyes as I went to touch the length of him again.

I smiled a little when he moaned and matched it. "No more games."

"Agreed." Dean replied, and slipped his fingers out, kissing me tenderly.

Soon his flesh was flush inside of mine and we rocked against each other until our climaxes shattered us, and then we smiled at each other and kissed a little more. Dean scooped me up into his arms and held me protectively close, kissing my damp forehead as I traced random shapes along his saturated pecks. I giggled a little and asked for another go, Dean making me promise we'd get straight to the main event—I wasn't sure _why_ he was in such a hurry, but right then it didn't matter…I had my man with me and that was all I needed.

xx

We were at a bar about a week after the whole Shtriga incident and Dean was picking up chicks and putting their numbers in his phone while Sam and I were looking at the paper. A couple had their throats slit in their own home, and Sam signaled to Dean, who didn't look happy being interrupted, and I laughed a little bit. Jen and Dean had been chatting over the phone about his commitment—even though I had wanted her to leave it alone—and Dean was trying to prove he could still get girls.

He wasn't going to sleep with any because he knew that would cause me pain and thankfully he didn't want to do that to me, but at the same time I was feeling pretty annoyed about how things were going. Dean was attractive, and he was flirtatious, and he really _could_ get any girl he wanted no matter what. I smiled at Sam as he rested his hand on mine as Dean came over and shrugged it off—I wasn't going to let it get to me.

"I think I got something." Sam told Dean when he made it to us with a beer.

"So do I." Dean said.

I rolled my eyes. "Anything could look like that."

I looked down at my jeans and halter-top as I said that and frowned—I was attractive even pregnant. Just because I wasn't throwing myself at him didn't mean I didn't have spunk and talent and everything else the boy needed and/or wanted. I mean I knew he was mine but I was also feeling a little neglected and I mean the bet had been that he could still get a girl _no matter what_. Maybe that meant that I could step in and raise the stakes a little bit…

"I could even look like that." I said with a pout.

"Lan, you're gorgeous just the way you are. What are we this time?" Sam asked Dean.

Dean said something along the lines of talent scouts, and I was annoyed, but I smiled when Dean smiled at me and rested his hand on my knee. I knew he loved me, and I knew he was just trying to win the bet since money was involved, but why did the bet have to involve cheap whores in bars? Why did the bet have to be Dean picking up floozies? It was annoying and I wanted it to stop.

"Sam, she has a friend over there. I could hook you up." Dean said with a smile. "Just because I'm not taking them home, doesn't mean that you can't."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, because Sam trusts your taste in women _so_ much—you got lucky with me."

"Lana has a point." Sam said, both of us high-fiving and laughing. "Besides, I can get my own date."

"You can, but you don't." Dean told him.

Sam looked up at him a little aggravated. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." Dean said quickly and then pointed at John's journal. "What do you got?"

"Well besides the case, I've got Lan to keep me company." Sam told him, and I smiled.

I smiled at the support. "You sure do."

As Sam began to explain the case, I looked over at the girls at the bar checking Dean out and I frowned and took my cell phone out to text Jen. As far as I was concerned, Dean was mine and there was no way in Hell I was letting some cheap sluts even _think _they had a chance with him. So when Dean asked if we could do this in the morning so he could win the bet, all bets were officially off.

"I have a feeling you're going to owe Jen that hundred bucks!" I called to him and he just laughed a little and stood in between the two girls, me smiling at Sam and then standing up. "Sorry, I need to wrangle up my man even though he's going to be out $100."

Sam chuckled and nodded. "I think he'll forgive you."

"Let's hope so." I replied, and then headed straight over to the bar, Dean raising his eyebrows at me, and the brunette and the blonde looking at me as I got up to them.

They thought I was stepping in on their territory and I totally wasn't—it was _my_ territory and _they_ were the ones trespassing. I plastered a smile on my face and Dean closed his eyes for a second, realizing that I was in fact the jealous type and he was about to lose money. Like he had _any_ right to be even _remotely_ angry with me…

"Looks like fun over here." I told them, sitting down next to the brunette on the bar stool.

The brunette took a breath. "Three was really our limit."

"Oh," I told her like I had just realized I wasn't welcome and then smiled and held out my hand. "I'm Lana—his knocked up girlfriend and I'm afraid _two_ is our limit and he's one, and I'm two so…"

"You are disgusting." The blonde told Dean, and she and her friend headed off after telling me I could do better.

I waved at them as they headed off and then my smile turned into a frown as I looked at Dean and shook my head. He was laughing because he found the whole 'face-off' rather entertaining, but I wasn't finding it entertaining. I could have blamed my hormones, but really I was just upset that my boyfriend was off flirting with not just one but _two_ girls that were definitely not me. Was it too much to ask to have Dean's _full_ attention? I really didn't think so.

"It's kind of adorable that you're fighting for me." Dean told me, placing his hand on the bar stool next to me and leaning in.

I rolled my eyes and put my hand up to stop his mouth. "I'm not kissing you."

"You _do_ realize that I _wasn't_ going to take either of them home, right?" Dean asked me and sighed when I widened my eyes a little and stared him down. "Baby, I think we _both_ know how I feel about you."

"Well you should show me that a little more often because I'm feeling ignored. You haven't said a single thing about my outfit, or my hair—I'm having a good hair day!" I protested, shaking my head and pushing on his mouth with my hand as he chuckled and leaned in again. "I look good tonight and you had divided attention and it was between _two_ girls, and neither of them was me."

Dean sighed. "Lanni, I—"

"—I don't want excuses, Dean; I'm just telling you that I'm upset. I'm your girlfriend, and I don't think it's too much to ask to have your full attention—_especially_ when I'm looking mighty fantastic tonight." I told him, pouting a little. "Like _mighty_ fantastic."

Dean chuckled and nodded, taking me by the hand and leading me back over to Sam, the three of us heading to the motel. Even though Sam and I really wanted to check out the house of the couple that had been murdered, Dean wanted to stay at the motel and so I sat next to him on the couch when Sam went to go to sleep. He stroked my hair and then started to nuzzle my neck with his nose, and I sighed and then bit my lip and closed my eyes as he started to nibble.

"I'm not caving." I whispered, but I knew it wasn't convincing since we both knew that I most certainly _was_ caving.

Dean chuckled a little. "Let's go outside."

"Why?" I asked him, but followed him when he took me by the hand and had me follow him outside and then I shook my head as we made it to the Impala. "Oh no…there is no way."

"Come on, Lanni—I promise everything will be fine." Dean assured me.

I swallowed and then nodded, holding the back door open as Dean got in before me and laid on his back, smiling at me and motioning for me to join him. I got in and straddled his waist, him pulling his knees up and then I reached back behind me and shut the door. I made sure the doors were locked, which made Dean chuckle and then I looked at him and bit my lip and he nodded softly and ran his hands along my jeaned legs.

"Don't worry, Baby—we won't do anything too crazy." He told me.

I nodded and smiled a little. "And we're staying like this?"

"Unless you'd like to shift." Dean replied with a smile.

"No! No…I like being on top." I said with a blush and then I pulled my halter off and smiled down at him, tucking my hair behind my ears. "I think I'm caving."

Dean chuckled and sat up, stroking my hair and bringing his face close to mine. "You look amazing tonight, Lanni."

"Stop trying to suck up and kiss me, Jerk." I told him, smiling and rolling my eyes.

xx

Sex in the backseat of a car? It wasn't the worst thing I had ever experienced, but definitely _not_ what it seemed like in TV shows and movies. It was fun, it felt incredible, but it was kind of awkward, and I'd hit my head on the roof of the car. Having Dean on top was definitely the easiest way to get through the sex, and then when we'd had all the sex that we had wanted, we'd gone inside and gotten dressed and laid in our bed.

Dean had been sweet, and charming, and he'd stroked my hair and held me close to him and I wanted so desperately for that moment to last forever and I knew it couldn't. Eventually Dean and I were going to have to get up, and we were going to have to go about life, and hopefully…Dean and I would talk about the pregnancy. Hopefully, Dean would acknowledge it instead of choosing to turn my switches on whenever we got in the neighborhood of discussing it.

I let it go though, so I smiled a little and snuggled up close to him, both of us getting up early with Sam and getting ready to go and EMF sweep the Telesca house. Dean was pretty tired though, because he'd been pretty active the day before and then we'd have a sex a good three times the night before—I'd already had myself some coffee. So Sam and I had done a sweep of the house and then when we'd found nothing, we went out to the car and saw Dean sleeping in the passenger seat with sunglasses on.

"Push on the horn." I told Sam with a laugh.

He looked at me. "Yeah? All right—it could be funny."

"_Could_ be?" I asked with a smile on my face.

Sam smiled too and chuckled a little before he pushed on the horn and the sound of it woke Dean up with a start, him jumping while Sam and I laughed. We got into the car and Dean gave us both a look, still calming down a little from the shock.

"Hey! So not cool!" Dean said.

I smiled at him. "It was simply too hard to resist."

"Quite the girlfriend." Sam told Dean with a laugh as Dean took the sunglasses off slowly. "Now we did a sweep of the house and we got nothing. However, Lan and I got a lead, so I'm thinking we should go to the Auction House and check some things out."

"Sounds good." Dean replied and then looked back at me. "How come _you're_ not tired?"

I leaned forward as I grinned. "Because _I_ haven't been up for more than 24 hours. _I_ got some sleep—now are you going to be helpful or lazy all day?"

"I think someone needs more caffeine in their system because they're grumpy." Dean told me with a chuckle.

I sighed loudly. "You and me both, but Sammy cut me off—he thinks my 'insane level of caffeine consumption' is harmful to the baby."

"Good thinking." Dean said, and it was all he said before turning to his brother.

Honestly, I hadn't expected more than that from him, but at the same time I was disappointed—I mean I was carrying _his_ baby and he never talked about it. I didn't wanna force the conversation on him but the least he could do was act like he wanted it—he just acted like it was just some other part of life and ignored it.

"So let's go." I said, and leaned back, making a face that made Dean sigh.

He just nodded though and then the three of us went and we found the auction house and decided to check it out since Sam and I had been so intent on going in. We were eating food when the guy came over to us and kicked us out because we weren't on the list after we had looked around a bit and found a creepy picture of a family. We met Sara, who talked to us about the painting, and then we were pretty much out on our asses trying to piece all of our findings together.

"You were attracted to her." I told Sam with a goofy smile on my face. "That Sara Blake made you a little speechless."

Sam blushed a little. "No she didn't."

"Well at first I thought Dean would go for her, but he turned down the mini quiche—there was no help after that one." I said, looking at Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes. "You know, lately you're sassier than normal."

I shrugged. "This is the real me. You're finally seeing my true colors."

"Besides—why would I pick her when I have you?" Dean asked me.

I smiled a little because he was kind of being mushy in public, and I knew it was his way of making up for making me upset in the car. So I rolled my eyes and told them we should get to the motel, and when we did I frowned at the black and white, and the disco type theme and the nasty taste of furniture—though it grew on me. As weird as it was at first, it really didn't seem too bad as the hunt wore on…and the beds were comfy, so how could I complain _too _much?

Once we were unpacked, I offered for us all to go out to dinner but Dean wanted to just order some pizza like always. After a little trying to persuade I gave in and Sam made a 'date' with Sara to talk about the paintings and everything, while Dean and I had some pizza, then I got dressed down, washed my face and brushed my teeth. Once I'd gotten dressed into my pajamas and then put moisturizer on my face and rinsed my mouth out with mouthwash, I looked up after spitting to see Dean's face in the mirror, and I almost screamed, but then I shook my head and turned to face him.

"That was nice of you." I told him.

He came to me without saying a word and kissed me. I was caught off guard, but because I loved him I kissed him back. When we pulled away, I smirked and Dean stroked my hair which made me rethink my witty remark from before. He was going out of his way to be sweet and caring, so how could I be mad at him at all? Right now he was just being a loving boyfriend, and I really needed the support—especially since I was starting to feel a little nauseous.

"What was that for?" I asked him slowly.

"You've been kind of down lately and I haven't been helping." Dean replied, and leaned in to kiss me again. "I'm sorry."

I waved it off and then put my hand over my mouth and groaned. "Why is it called 'morning sickness' when it hits in the early evening too?"

"I'm not the person to ask." Dean told me with a sad smile and left the bathroom when Sam came in with the Provenances that we needed.

I was focusing a little more on keeping the vomit down than I was on Dean being vulgar asking Sam how it all went, but I couldn't help but chuckle when I leaned on the bathroom door frame. Sam sighed loudly as Dean asked if he had to do Sara any 'special favors' and then Sam shot me a look when I right out laughed.

"Dean, get your mind out of the gutter." Sam said sternly.

"I don't think you'll _ever_ get him to do that." I told Sam.

Dean took the moment of eye contact between Sam and I that softened Sam a little to mention that we could always stay for a while so Sam could ask her out again, but Sam changed the subject to talk about the painting. Sam was pretty adamant about sneaking into the Auction House and stealing the painting to burn it, but Dean wasn't letting me go with them. Just in case something went wrong, I was supposed to stay behind, and though that annoyed me, I knew it was in my best interest.

I spent the time they were gone talking to Jen on the phone, and then she went to sleep and so did I, waking up the next morning to Dean sitting on the side of our bed, stroking my hair. I was about to turn over and tell him that I was thankful for him, but then he started to freak out about how he had left his wallet and we all had to go and get it back. When we got there though, it was all just a rouge to get Sam and Sara to talk again and I rolled my eyes as Dean steered me away from them.

"So we did that, why exactly?" I asked Dean as we got to the car.

"Sam needs some time—this is how he'll get over Jessica." Dean explained to me.

"Right. So…what do _we_ do?" I asked him, looking at him and shrugging.

Dean smirked at me. "I'm glad you asked."

Dean kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waist and then deepening the kiss, his fingers going to my shirt, but I stopped him. It was adorable that he wanted his brother to hook-up so that he could, but I wanted to talk things over whether he wanted to or not. He sighed as he looked into my eyes and knew what was coming, and I nodded slowly and then bit my lip before taking a breath and opening my mouth to speak.

"You know, when the baby comes you can't ignore it anymore." I told him softly, looking down at the ground. "I mean it's easy to do it now, but sooner or later it's going to be a crying being."

Dean nodded and put his fingers under my chin, making me look at him. "I know…I just don't know exactly how to deal with this. Right now I'm just trying to keep you and the baby safe."

"I get that, I do, but sometimes it would be nice to know if you actually _wanted _it or not." I explained slowly.

Dean was going to say something when Sam came out, and started freaking about the painting still being there. Apparently it had come back even though they had burned it, so we got into the car and tried to figure out what else there was for us to do. When I mentioned that it could have something to do with the bones of Isaiah, Dean nodded, and so we went to go and see if we could get more information on where the bodies were buried. All we found out was that the man had killed his children, then his wife, and then himself, and that the picture kept changing—that, and the bodies were cremated—so they were already burnt, and that would put a damper in things.

We went back to the motel and I groomed myself and sat on the bed, e-mailing Jen—she and I had been talking on the phone a lot lately, but I was starting to feel like there was something going on she wasn't talking to me about. She was busy, I was busy, and though we had made a pact a long, _long _time ago to tell each other everything, we both finally had solidly different lives of our own. Then what I thought was going to be calm and peaceful e-mailing, turned into Dean annoying Sam by continually bringing Sara up, and Sam and him started to fight. It was all about Jessica, and we knew that, but Sam knew it too, and that was the important part.

"Hey. How _you_ doin'?" Dean said, smiling at me as he laid on our bed next to me.

I looked up from the computer. "Look, I know you hit something with this whole Jessica thing, but you need to back off just a little and let Sammy be."

As we were talking, Sam freaked out on the phone with Sara because she had sold the portrait, and we all took off to go talk to Sara about getting an address and she came with us to this old woman's house—and the old woman had died the same way as the others—her throat was slit with a razor. She was definitely freaked about all of it, and when we got back at the motel we were happy Sara lied for us, but then we had to explain the ghost thing, and she wasn't taking it well. On the other hand, she wanted to come and help us, so I shrugged because we could use all the help we could get right then.

"All right, but I need you to try and wrap your brain around it." I told her. "I know this is totally improbable, but it's true and we need you completely on board, otherwise it could get someone killed."

After Sam convinced her of the truth, she was more willing to help us, but the look on Sam's face made me smile a little—he cared too much about her to let her come along. Sam told Sara he didn't want her to get hurt, but she felt responsible for selling the painting, and went ahead of us all out the door. I was actually incredibly fond of her, and went to grab a weapon because believe it or not I was doing this no matter what.

"So we going, or what?" Sara asked, going out the door and shutting it behind her.

"Sam," Dean said, pointing to the door, "marry that girl."

"You marry this one." Sam retorted.

I looked up suddenly. "Hey! Don't scare him like that! We're not at that point in our relationship yet, so drop it."

"I agree." Dean replied, and part of me felt sad about it.

I knew I shouldn't feel too bad about it since Dean and I really hadn't known each other a long period of time, but eventually what if I _did_ want to marry him? I mean I loved him, and we were having a baby, and what if one day I wanted to be his wife? Would Dean Winchester _ever_ want to even _get_ married?

"Lan?" Sam asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I smiled at him. "I'm fine. Let's go."

He and Dean sighed at me but let me go too, and we went to the crime scene and examined the portrait, giving us clues to the burial sight, and so we went there and found out that the father wasn't there. That meant we had more research to do so we went to find the death certificate and to figure out where he was buried, and left Sam and Sara alone and resulted to our wiles to get us in. When we came out, it was obvious they had had a meaningful chat, and I was glad because I wanted Sam to be happy—he deserved it more than most.

We went to go and dig up the body, and then we burned his bones and decided to go make sure that the deed was done, but Dean told me to stay in the car so that Sam could make his move, which made Sam a tad perturbed. I wanted Sam to be happy just like Dean did, but Sam needed to be able to go about being with Sara on his own _if_ he wanted to. Actually, it was a really admirable trait for Sam to want to give himself a good grieving period so he could honor Jessica's memory, but if he _did_ move on I wanted it to be with Sara Blake.

"You are being forceful." I told Dean, pushing on the back of his chair a bit. "Stop it."

Dean shrugged and turned on the music, lounging in the front seat, but Sam motioned for him to knock it off, and he did. Unfortunately, Sam and Sara got shut in the house and we found out that it wasn't the father at all—but the little girl. It was one more creepy little girl for the history books and Dean made me stay in the car as he tried to get through the door and then Sam called to him that we had to burn the little girls' doll—because it some of the little girls' real hair in it.

"Gross." I whispered as Dean made it back to the car.

Dean and I drove and found the doll and burned it, killing the spirit, which thankfully meant that our job was done. Unfortunately, this meant it was all over and we had to move on—which meant Sam saying 'goodbye' to Sara. We all got up the next morning and got dressed and ready to leave and everything, and then stopped off at the Auction House. We saw that the picture was back to normal, and that the little girl had murdered her first family, Isaiah adopted her, and then she killed his family and had been killing people ever since.

"We should leave." I said, hugging Sara as she hugged me back. "I need some fresh air. Nice meeting you, Sara."

"You too, Lana." Sara told me with a smile.

"I'll go wait in the car. See ya, Sara." Dean walked away. "Just burned the doll and killed the spirit. Don't thank me or anything."

I leaned over to him and whispered, "Thank you."

Dean smiled at me. "I'm just glad you're here too."

"So you can get me to cave to sex?" I asked him with a laugh.

Dean shook his head as we left the building and headed towards the car and then he sighed and I looked over at him. He reached out to rest his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye, which honestly made me feel better about it all. _I_ was making the jokes and _he_ was being serious for once and it was certainly a nice change of pace for us.

"No, Lanni, because we need you—_I_ need you—and I…love you." He said with a smile.

I smiled at him too. "I love you too. Is there…is there—"

"—I want our baby. I know that I don't come out and say it…but I do." He told me.

I smiled and got a little teary-eyed, about to say something when Sam came out and Dean and I both looked over in the direction of the noise. Sara gave Sam a glance and then shut the door, both Dean _and_ I surprised when Sam turned back around and knocked on the door. Sara opened it up and smiled at him, Sam kissing her and it made Dean and I both smile at them over there happy.

"That's my boy." Dean said with pride.

I nodded as I grinned. "Yeah…it's good he's happy."

"Let's wait in the car." Dean told me.

"Yeah, let's do that." I replied, and got into the backseat as Dean got into the Driver's seat and turned around to look at me. "What?"

Dean reached over to stroke my hair. "I don't want you to get hurt."

I rolled my eyes and kissed him slipping my fingers into his hair and biting his bottom lip softly before pulling away. Dean grunted and then his face changed when he noted my discomfort and he couldn't help but make a joke about the situation.

"Kissing me makes you want to vomit?" He asked playfully.

I shot him a look. "No, but carrying your baby apparently does."

"That's so much better." He told me and sighed. "What can I do to make you more comfortable?"

"Honey, I think morning sickness has to pass all on its own." I said and then scrunched up my nose. "You could bathe when we get to the next motel though."

Dean made a face. "I smell fantastic."

"What did you do?" Sam asked Dean, getting into the passenger seat of the car.

"Nothing, I just—the smells have been getting to me lately and he still smells like crypt." I replied and then buckled myself in. "Are we heading out or what?"

Dean chuckled and started the car. "God, you are so demanding."

"And you love me." I replied, all three of us smiling as Dean pulled the car out onto the highway.

**Note: Before anyone gets all upset, Dean isn't an emotions guy and he will continue to struggle with it. You'll start to see a lot of "I love you", "you too" instead of him saying it back. It's something they'll struggle with for a little while. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	16. Bonding with John Winchester

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so this chapter has a LOT to do with Lana, the woman who killed her parents, and John.**

**The standard warnings apply: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

A few days after the fiasco with the painting and the creepy little girl with the razor blade that came out of it, Sam, Dean and I were on the road again, heading to go and find a place to stop. There was no set hunt, but then my phone rang and I knew that for me there was definitely no doubt about who it would be: it was John.

"Hey!" I answered excitedly.

John chuckled. "Hey, Lana. Look, I know this is totally not the right time, and I know you have an unborn child to think about too, but I need you to fly over to Georgia—by yourself—and help me to defeat Nora."

"What?" I asked swallowing because I knew that was never going to fly with Sam and Dean—_especially_ right now.

"I have a pretty good feeling you haven't told Dean about your powers, right? Well you have to use them to kill Nora and avenge your parents' deaths." John explained to me.

I took a deep breath and nodded slowly from the backseat of the car. "Okay, but the thing is…they won't let me go—not by myself."

"I thought about that, but I came up with an alibi—I'm your crazy uncle in Georgia that only you're allowed to see, and I'm dying so you have to come fill out papers—no demon things for them to pick up on." He told me.

"All right." I told him and then quickly became somber. "I understand. Thank you. Talk to you soon."

I hung up the phone and looked at them, both intently waiting for me tell them what that was all about. There was only so much that I could say on the phone to John without telling them that their father was in fact calling _me_ and still had yet to get into contact with _them_. There would be Hell to pay for that so I pretty much had to suck it up and get this over with _without_ letting them in on it—besides…I still hadn't come clean about _any_ of my powers yet.

"So?" Dean asked me finally.

"So, what?" I answered with a shrug, trying to make it out like it was nothing.

Dean gave me a look in the rearview mirror. "What was that about?"

"I have an uncle in Georgia who's in an asylum, and he's dying. Since I'm now the immediate relative on his forms, I got the first call." I explained to him, biting my lip a little bit to accentuate my lie and pass it off for a truth.

"That sucks, Lan. I'm sorry." Sam said, smiling back sadly at me.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, Lanni. So what's going to happen?"

"They're going to call my cousin and have him deal with it." I replied sadly, shrugging a little and then shifting uncomfortably.

"We could take a trip there if _you_ want to deal with it." Dean offered, noting that I wanted to go but I wasn't making them go out of their way."

I shook my head. "No, that's all right. I think Ben can take care of him—I have faith in him."

"Is Ben your cousin?" Sam asked.

I nodded at him. "Yeah. Uncle Joe was always his favorite."

"Uncle Joe the crazy one?" Dean asked me with a small laugh.

I nodded yet again. "Next right is a motel. I'm kind of tired."

When we got to the motel, we all got ready for bed, and I said I was kind of wide awake and I'd come to bed later. Dean wanted to hold me to make me feel a little better about the whole situation, but I insisted and turned the TV on, keeping the volume low so that I wouldn't keep Sam or Dean awake. Unfortunately, Dean was making this rather difficult on me and brought a blanket over, snuggling up against me.

"Baby, I'm sorry about your uncle." Dean whispered, kissing my neck as he rested his head on my shoulder.

I smiled and leaned my head against his. "I know—it's all right though…sleep."

I kissed the top of his head and then when I was absolutely sure that Sam and Dean were sleeping, I got up, got dressed, and then I left them a note saying I'd be back tomorrow and to call me, after packing my things and putting them in the car, taking only myself. I called John and let him know that I was on my way, and then I got to the airplane by cab and got onto the plane. Something told me this wasn't going to end well, but I couldn't sit around and do nothing when Nora was out there and I was the key to stopping her once and for all.

The plane ride to Georgia was rather nice, and once the plane landed I got off the plane and went out through security, and found John waiting for me. I smiled and ran over and hugged him, keeping up appearances in public just in case…and for some reason wanting to hug my baby's grandfather. At first I thought John was going to be somewhat distant like he was when I first met him, but he hugged me back and then placed his hand on my stomach, which made me blush a little but I was happy about it.

"So you got here safe and by yourself." He said and then he laughed a little. "Or at least _mostly_ by yourself."

I nodded and smiled at him. "Yeah…_mostly_.I told Sam and Dean the uncle story, but they wanted to come and help me deal so I made up a cousin. For the record, you're Uncle Joe, and you're Cousin Ben's favorite uncle."

He laughed a little too. "Not yours?"

"Of course you are—I just needed a reason not to come—I left them a note saying I would be back sometime tonight hopefully and to call me if they wanted to." I explained to him. "It was bad enough I left without Dean okaying it—not that he wears the pants in this relationship because really…he _doesn't_. I just…I'm carrying _his_ baby and he's going to be beyond upset that I just left."

He nodded at me. "All right. Let's be quick, then."

We got into his car and drove to the crypt that John said Nora had been retreating to, and then explained that she'd been going from town to town. He only ran across her because his own hunt had led him here, and he decided to kill two birds with one stone. Besides…he owed my mother—whatever _that _meant. Note to self: when you survive this fight, ask John more about your mother.

"Crap!" I exclaimed, jumping as my phone rang and then answering it quickly. "Dean, honey, I love you, but I'm a little busy right now and I'm going to have to hang up. I'll call you back soon."

I hung up the phone as he began to protest, and then turned the phone off, turning to John as he laughed a little. He was amused, and he was proud, and at the same time he was trying so desperately to be serious but he was too entertained. When I raised my eyebrows and asked him what was so funny, he just waved it off and calmed himself down a little bit.

"That could have gotten us noticed." John informed me, smiling a little.

I blushed and shrugged. "Sorry."

"That's all right. It's good to know he's protective of you." John replied.

"I think he's only protective of me because he knocked me up. I mean I know he loves me and I'm trusting in that, but…I can't help wondering how differently he would be acting if I _wasn't_ pregnant." I told John with a shrug, pocketing my phone.

John shrugged a little bit. "I think it's because he cares about you. You Meckenzie women have a habit of ensnaring Winchester men with your charms."

Yeah…ask him hardcore about your mother…

John reached over and rested his hand on my stomach and I smiled sadly—John didn't really know me and yet he was being more of a grandfather in the respect of touching my stomach than Dean was being a father. Why wasn't Dean this way about it? I knew he had admitted that he loved me and that he wanted the baby, but couldn't he rub my stomach more often? Hold me protectively placing his hand on my stomach when we _weren't_ sleeping? All I needed was the non verbal and conscious reassurance…I needed to talk to him again.

"Give him time, Lana—he'll come around to all of it in just the way you want him to. My eldest has never really done this 'love' thing…but I'm sure that he'll figure it out with you." John explained and then took his hand away. "Shall we?"

I nodded and smiled at him. "Yeah…we shall."

"Grab a gun and make sure you're ready to use some magic. I know you don't want to, but Nora will be tough without it." John told me with a sad smile on his face. "I know you can do this—I believe in you."

"Mother, give me strength." I whispered as we got out of the car.

With a reassuring smile from John and a new feeling of power coursing through my veins, I got out of the car and grabbed a gun, heading into the crypt. I was _that_ much closer to finding out about my past—about my adopted parents' pasts. I was _that_ much closer to actually defeating the woman who had killed my adopted parents, and even closer to putting their restless spirits to rest.

"We can do this." John told me when we made it to the door of the crypt. "You have to embrace what you are."

I nodded and he and I made eye contact. "Here goes."

We burst into the crypt as Nora was knelt in front of an alter, chanting. The doors slammed shut behind us, and I did a double take, realizing it wasn't from a gust of wind or anything—it was Nora. She laughed softly as she felt mine and John's presences behind her, and I swallowed because I had to do this…I had to use the magic I had been trying so hard not to use over the years.

"If it isn't Alana. I wasn't expecting you to show." Nora told me.

Her voice was musical, but had a doggish quality to it and I firmly stood my ground as she stood up and turned to us. She gracefully walked toward us, smiling, her canine teeth glistening in the dim light and I wondered right then just how many different breeds there were. All the lores had very similar things in common, but for some reason there were differences in different places—almost like evolution or something.

"Don't touch her." John said, getting between us and making me look at him funny—why was he protecting me when he had said that it was _my_ fight?

"You shouldn't have brought the spectacle." Nora informed me, backhanding John so he went flying into the wall and then I understood—having someone else's life in my hands was going to make me do what I thought I couldn't do.

I narrowed my eyes at her after glancing at John to see if he was okay. "You disgust me."

She reached out to touch me, but I had already silently chanted the spell, and the force field burned her but made her smile a little as she pulled her hand away quickly. She was impressed—no doubt because the rumors about me had talked about how I had given up magic. Now here I was embracing the part of me I had tried so hard to suppress, and I was going to be an actual match for her…there were other parts of me that I was suppressing too.

Nora laughed softly. "So you decided to embrace the inner witch?"

"Why did you do it?" I asked her, wishing John would get up now, but he was knocked out cold.

Nora smiled and shrugged. "Why else? I wanted to dispose of you. You're an abomination—demonic in nature. Your mother thought that giving you and your little sister up was for the best but I knew—I knew who she gave you up to. Your mother thought that raised in a different kind of environment, you could become powerful enough to make a difference—a larger one than him and his sons are making now. She thought you could defeat your father, but I couldn't let that happen, so I burned your adopted parents' house down. First I used magic to bind them, and then I put the house up in flames and you were left alone, and vowing never to let your supernatural sides surface…it would have been better had you been in there too, but at the same time I've liked watching how you've suffered over the years without them."

I was crying now—it was all my fault. "You monster! Die the way you killed them!"

Nora laughed but it was soon wiped off of her face when she heard me speak the incantation and her face twisted in horror as her feet caught on fire. She began to look at me with hope in her eyes, but I wasn't going to reverse the spell and somehow she knew it. She almost seemed _pleased_ that I was so bent on my own revenge, but I couldn't see past my revenge to analyze that look.

"May your children use their magic to bring ruin." Nora told me as her entire body caught flame. "May your life be full of despair…may your father win."

As her body became ashes, I felt a presence I had known had been there for a long while, and I smiled as my adopted parents appeared in front of me, smiling and almost corporeal. I had finally laid their spirits to rest and they were saying their 'goodbyes'—they were no longer going to come to me. They were the ones that raised me when my mother was absent and now…now they were gone forever.

"You did it, Lana, my dear." Marucs said, smiling at me.

I nodded and cried a little just happy to see they were moving on, even though I knew I was never going to see them again…feel them again…talk to them again.

"Do not fret about what she said. You need to know that you're part of something far bigger—something that you won't comprehend until you're standing there in it all. Lana, you're coming up against the most powerful weapon of all—a weapon not even he will think about for a little while longer. Keep this to yourself, but find a way to eliminate Chelsea—she is at the root of the vampires holding this weapon. Once you obtain it, you will need to know how to take her out." Bethany explained. "I wish your task was done, Sweetheart…but your role in this is far from over. It might never be over."

I nodded as they both kissed me, their ghost lips brushing across my forehead as I tried hard to think of the perfect words to say.

"We haven't much time, Sweetheart. Thank you for releasing us. Now it is time for you to embrace your true destiny." Marcus said, he and Bethany both taking a step back. "Never lose your faith."

I nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat. "I love you both, and I won't forget you…ever."

They smiled, and then faded from view, making me stand there for a minute to assess everything that had just happened before I went over to Mr. Winchester as he stirred, and when he looked up he looked straight at the pile of dust and bone on the floor that was Nora. I had taken her out, laid my adopted parents' souls to rest, and now even though I didn't know too much more than I'd already known, I knew that if I stayed with Sam and Dean, I was going to be a liability to them—but I was in far too deep with them now. Did that mean…did it mean the day had finally come for me to be truthful with them?

John looked from the pile of ashes to me. "You embraced your inner witch?"

"Fire spell—a bit of her own medicine." I told him and then made a face at the wound on his head. "Ow! Your head needs attention!"

John smiled as he cringed. "Yeah, she did a number on me…but it pushed you to where you needed to be."

I nodded slowly, and helped him to his feet, both of us heading to his car to get the First Aid kit out. Once he was bandaged, we put everything back in the car and then we went to the airport and waited an hour for the plane. I hadn't checked my messages, or called them back, and for now I thought that was for the best…I still didn't have _any_ idea as to what to say to them.

"Shouldn't you call them?" John asked me, noting the worry on my face.

I shrugged. "I suppose, but I have to figure out what to tell them first. All of our paths will bring us together again, and when that happens, they need to know the truth."

"Before they left they talked to you, didn't they?" John asked me. "You sounded like your adopted mother just there—Hell you sounded like your _birth_ mother just there."

"When we first met you knew me, John. _How _do you know my birth parents?" I asked him as I swallowed, not sure I actually _wanted _to know the real answer to that.

John took a deep breath. "I have actually done quite a few hunts with your birth mother, Lana—well I _had _actually. Florence and I…we have a very complicated path. In fact I knew your mother before any of you were born—she was a good friend of Mary's. After a while when things were looking grim though, Florence explained everything to me: you, Annie, how you had to be kept safe. So I talked to Bethany and Marcus about things and they let me watch over you from afar. Demons sometimes mention the plans set in motion for you, but I truly don't know what those plans are—you're a promise I made, Lana. I don't know what your blood line means, but I'm not going to hurt you or stand in the way of my son's happiness but if you hurt him…you'll be just like every other monster."

I looked at him. "Duly noted."

I nodded slowly and smiled a little as the flight attendant said my flight was leaving, and so I hugged John tightly and then let go and got on the plane. It was another rather nice flight, and once I got off in the next airport, I took a taxi all the way to the motel, taking out my phone and turning it on to ten new voice messages and I smiled because they were all from Dean save three that were from Sam. They were worried, and they had missed me, and so I did what I should have done in the first place—I dialed Dean's number.

"Finally! Are you all right?" Dean asked when he answered his phone.

I smiled at the genuine concern in his voice. "Yeah. I'm okay. I just—I needed to take care of it myself."

"We figured, but we didn't leave." He said with a sigh. "We didn't know where you were, which wasn't very nice, nor like you, Lanni."

"I'm sorry I didn't leave any means of communication, it was just…it was something I had to do by myself." I told him with a shrug.

Dean cleared his throat so I knew Sam was in the room with him. "We were really worried—Sam especially…you know how Sam is."

"Yeah, I know—he totally loves me." I told Dean with a laugh.

Dean cleared his throat and I knew it was a sign for me to take back what I had said, but I wasn't going to—I wanted him to tell me how much he missed me. I wanted him to verbally tell me how much he wanted me, how much he loved me, and how much he had worried when I was gone. Unfortunately the words didn't come out of his mouth…he just handed the phone over to Sam and I felt like I was going to cry.

"Dean was flipping. Next time you leave _please_ tell us where you're going. I thought he was going to die." Sam told me.

I smiled sadly. "Nice to know he misses me…I'm on my way up."

"All right—I'll tell him you'll be here momentarily." Sam told me, and I thanked him and then I hung up the phone and headed to the motel room, smiling when I opened the door and then smiling more when they both got up and hugged me—out of character, but I was pretty sure it was because I was pregnant.

"Never thought I'd ever say this, but you guys have to stop with the love—I need to breathe." I said with a laugh and they nodded and let go, trying to act all macho and shrugging it off before they gave me looks. "What?"

Dean crossed his arms over his chest. "You tell us—you're the one that looks kind of guilty, Lanni."

"Yeah, well…liars are kind of naturally guilty people." I told him with a sigh, setting down my duffle and taking off my jacket.

"What the Hell do you have to lie about?" Dean asked me.

I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, pushing my bangs out of my face and realizing that I didn't even know where to start. I figured that the best place would be my powers but I didn't want to—after this I wasn't even going to use them again so why tell them that? Why did I have so many secrets from them anyway? What if I got them killed? What if I got my baby killed? I was in way over my head here…

"I fought a demon. I went out there specifically to kill Nora due to a tip I got from a reliable source, and then my parents' spirits were avenged. I know I shouldn't have gone alone and that it was dangerous but…I had to." I explained and for a second they actually thought I was kidding—and then they looked livid. "If you're gonna yell, remember that other people can hear you through the walls."

Sam was the first to speak. "How could you? You can't just run off in your condition and do things like this!"

"Sam it was _my _fight! Come on, you have to understand that!" I pleaded. "Dean, tell him I had to do it."

"I'm not going to tell him any such thing." Dean replied, and went for the motel room door. "I'm going for a walk—I'll try not to kill anything while I'm out without telling you first."

I took a deep breath and shook my head when Sam started to talk to me when Dean slammed the door shut behind him and I went to bed. I knew that I had deserved it and that this was my calm before the storm. Once I came clean, I was no longer going to be welcome so it was about time I got my affairs in order…it was about time I severed my ties with them and moved on, on my own.

xx

Even though Dean and I really hadn't talked for a good week and I was far too scared about having a baby to leave Dean and Sam for good, we had decided to play a game. We were bored on the car ride so we were playing the simplest game we could think of and Dean was kind of being a jerk about it.

"Look, it's been almost thirty minutes: answer the question." Dean told me.

I sighed and looked at him. "But it's a _hard_ question."

"I find it rather easy." Sam shrugged.

"Well you weren't paying attention to the little underlying message." I explained in an exasperated voice.

Sam chuckled lightly. "Okay. What underlying message?"

"He asked 'sweet and simple', or 'heated and breathtaking'—he meant 'him' or 'Lance', not just what kind of sex." I explained and shot Dean a look. "And it was an evil thing to do and I shouldn't answer but I'm going to even though I have no idea what it's like to have sex with Lance, he's just making assumptions cause of how long we knew each other compared to Dean and I."

Dean laughed. "I didn't think you'd pick up on it, honestly."

"Well I did because I'm smarter than you." I told him and crossed my arms over my chest. "All right. So how about this? I like the sweet and simple—it's all kind and loving and you never want it to end. The heated and breathtaking is amazing while it lasts, but after that it's just a memory—the love is forever. How's _that_ answer?"

"I don't think it was entirely truthful." Dean replied with a shrug as he parked.

We were all really hungry and cranky that morning, so we parked outside of a place that said, 'Home Cooking', and went inside. We sat down at a nice table and ordered some good breakfast, the three of us chatting a little, but I was kind of fed up with none of us talking about what we actually _wanted_ to talk about.

"You know, I'm a little fed up with this." I said, closing my newspaper and then sighing. "I'm eating more pancakes, and then rocking out to music in the car."

"You've had four." Sam informed me with a laugh.

I gave him a look. "You're a jerk. I'm eating for two!"

"Do you _both _want to be fat?" Dean asked me, pointing to my plate with syrup remnants on it.

I reached over the table and hit him in the arm. "Goodbye to both of you!" I told him and stood up, fixing my shirt. "For the record, I'm pregnant, _not_ fat!"

"Lan! We didn't mean it like that!" Sam called after me.

"I don't care!" I called back, and then had to turn around, go back, and take the keys out of Dean's pocket, and his hand caught mine.

Dean's eyes met mine. "You owe me for this."

"Dream on." I told him, and pulled my hand away.

I took the keys, went out to the car, and then I turned on the station to some oldies rock music. I then proceeded to play my air guitar and sing out loud until the boys came and they laughed, getting into the car. It made me shrug as they looked at me and Dean changed the station.

"That was embarrassing." Dean laughed, Sam getting into the back since I was in the passenger seat for once.

I smiled at him. "Not for me."

"We're going to Manning, Colorado." Sam informed me.

I nodded slowly. "All right. Did you at least—thanks."

I took my latte from Dean and smiled—I loved him for remembering me like that, but I was pretty close to yelling at him. Mostly I was keeping all of it bottled up inside of me, and we drove all the way to a man by the name of Elkins' house. He had been mauled, and it was obvious that there was serious handiwork involved in this one. Vampires—but not the kind I was used to—and it was then, right after Sam found the salt that I smiled.

"Can you guys wait a moment?" I asked them.

Sam turned to me and gave me a look. "What?"

"I just—I need to go out there and like—go to the car." I told them lamely.

Before they could protest, I went outside and then I smiled and looked to see the presence I had sensed—John Winchester. He had been trying to get by unnoticed, but I was learning more and more from my pregnancy that I was hyper-sensitive. So, I ran to him and hugged him, him hugging me back but sighing a bit.

"You know, someday you're going to get someone killed." He smiled, and tugged on my hair playfully like a father does sometimes.

I smiled too and let go, sticking my hands in my pockets. "I kind of just wanted to see you. You're the only one around here that actually talks to me like I'm not glass—like even though you know what's going on, you want me to be included. Besides, pretty sure at one point or another you slept with my mother so…"

"Well hello to you too, then, Lana." John replied.

"Hi." I said with a smile and small wave, and then I pointed in the direction of the boys. "I should probably go back before they see you. We covered our tracks well, and they probably found something—I'm having those stupid senses and the blood was too much anyway—then I knew you were here and had to welcome you."

He nodded to me. "All right. Just follow them—if I need to, I'll show myself."

I nodded, hugged him one last time, and then I went back to Sam and Dean who had found a clue—a post box. When we got to the office, there was a letter in the box. We took it out to the car and looked at the initials on it: J.W. How hard was it to figure _that_ one out?

"It's for your father." I said out loud as they stared at it.

"Are you sure? Are we really sure?" Sam asked me.

I sighed loudly. "Look, you know I have senses, honey. It's for your father. Read it. Memorize. Eat it. Besides, even an idiot knows that John Winchester is kind of J.W."

"Why are you hostile today?" Dean asked me suddenly.

"I don't know maybe I'm pregnant and no one wants to talk about it. My ankles are sore, I'm bloated, I pee a little more than usual, I have a headache and an unattentive boyfriend. Yeah…I think that's pretty much all of it." I told them and laughed a little when there was suddenly a face at the window and the boys jumped as he opened up the back door to sit with me. "Hey, John."

John chuckled. "Long time no see."

"Yeah. I expected you like an hour ago." I told him with a smile.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Wait. You two—what?"

"I heard about Daniel and came to check it out." He told them. "I'm all right."

"I saw him when he saw us at the house earlier." I told them, shrugging. "We're good buddies."

"Apparently," Dean said slowly.

He was pretty upset with me and Sam and John could feel the tension between us and part of me felt bad about it. I felt like I had every right to be mad that Dean kept ignoring everything and wouldn't open up to me when I'd given him everything—and the other part of me felt so hypocritical because I _hadn't_ let _him_ all the way in either…I had walls up. He was in my heart…I just hadn't been entirely truthful and for us to actually have a functioning relationship that was going to survive, I needed to be honest with him.

"Why didn't you come in?" Sam asked his father.

Dean nodded slowly. "So that's why you went out."

"I was making sure you guys weren't followed by anyone or anything—nice job of covering your tracks by the way. Lana here though—you should control her better." John told them as he smiled.

I smiled too. "Yeah they should, but too bad they can't. So—that's yours, isn't it?"

"Yes. Well…he taught me a lot about hunting, but we had a falling out. I hadn't seen him in years. Let me look at that." John told them.

He opened it and started to read it, and then he decided that we had to go because the man had had it all along—a colt revolver. The three of us were confused, but we decided that we were going to listen to him—and Sam was going to drive. We were supposed to find this gun and Sam wasn't happy we didn't have the whole story. John thought they were extinct, but they weren't—we'd encountered the easy ones—these ones weren't scared by holy water, crosses, could walk in sunlight, and could only die by beheading—not even by a stake in the heart. This was going to be hard.

So we went to the motel we had been at earlier when we had come to Elkins' house, and we decided to go to sleep. It was going to be a little hard because there were four of us and two beds, and there was no way John was sleeping with either of his sons. That meant one of them was getting the couch, and part of me wished it was Dean.

"You know, I think this whole two bed thing is how I got my grandkid conceived in the first place." John said aloud with a chuckle.

I blushed. "Yeah…that and Dean's inability to keep his hands to himself."

"Oh, I'm not the _only_ one of us that initiates—" Dean began.

"—oh shut-up. Your dad needs a place to sleep." I told him, cutting him off and awkwardly tucking hair behind my ears. "You can have mine and Dean's bed. I can take the couch and he can sleep on the floor."

Sam shook his head. "No—you're sleeping in a bed, Lanni. Dad can have my bed and I'll take the couch."

"Thanks boys, but _I'll_ take the couch. You know you have manners suddenly—impressing a certain someone?" John asked them, looking back and forth between Sam and Dean.

"Okay, Papa Winchester's turn to shut-up." I told him with a laugh. "Things were easier when I wasn't dating Dean and they had to thumb wrestle for me—loser got me of course because they wanted the bed to themselves."

"When we were in a fight once, Sam and I did 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' and I got her—I swear I got kicked only because in my dream she was working me over." Dean told his father, who laughed.

After a couple more 'funny' stories about the three of us, we all got ready for bed and I got into the motel bed with Dean, surprised when he wrapped his arms around me. He kissed my neck softly and nuzzled my hair with his nose which brought tears to my eyes. I turned over and kissed him, pressing my body as close to him as I could. What I really wanted was for him to just tell me how he felt—to care and share without me pushing him to do that.

"I love you." I whispered, nipping at his jaw line a little. "I love you and I'm still mad at you, but for some reason I need you."

Dean nodded, kissing me and stroking my hair. "I hate when you stop speaking to me. For some reason I miss that nagging voice of yours."

"Well aren't _you_ romantic?" I told him with a small laugh as I rolled my eyes.

"I need you safe, can you do that for me?" Dean asked me softly.

I paused but I nodded slowly, kissing him again and nodding into it, then pulling my lips away and curling up with him. It was nice to fall asleep in his arms, even if we were woken up by John. My head was on Dean's chest and he wiped his eyes from being jostled, John talking about a couple who had phoned in about a body that the cops found missing. He was certain it was vampires and when Sam questioned him, John told us to just follow and headed out of the motel room, which left Sam, Dean and I to get up and to so just what he said—to follow him.

"Where'd my jacket go?" I asked, looking around as John went out the door and

Dean started putting his shoes on.

"Here." Dean said as Sam followed his father.

I looked at him and sighed. "You'd think I'd remember where I put it. Where the Hell are—there's _one_ sock."

"You must have taken them off in your sleep." He told me with a chuckle.

I nodded at him. "I do, do that occasionally."

"Only when you're troubled." He smiled and brushed something off of my face when I looked up at him.

"Eye crusties." He told me.

I made a face. "Ew! Now I _know_ I look terrible!"

I started going to the door and Dean took my hand and it stopped me. He pulled me back around to face him and leaned his face in close to mine, breathing on me. If we hadn't needed to get our asses out to protect some innocents, I would have dragged him down on the bed then and there. Well…also if I didn't feel like I looked like shit.

"Ew." I repeated to him softly, my heart beating a little faster as Dean's beautiful hazel eyes held me in place.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "'Ew' that you have eye crusties? Everyone has them."

"No. 'Ew' that you had to touch them and that I look terrible." I told him.

I looked at him sadly with a little pout, holding my breath a moment as he leaned in farther, keeping the eye contact but closing the distance between our lips without touching mine with his yet. He was driving me crazy and he knew it—he knew as annoyed as I was with him when he did this, it seriously turned me on.

He smiled at me. "You're beautiful—don't let anyone tell you any differently. I know sometimes you wonder because of where my attention is turned, but you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever met, and that's the truth…I love you."

Then, he did something I _also _wasn't expecting—he kissed me as someone came in the door, and our lips parted and we smiled at each other before looking up. Part of me hadn't wanted to give the moment up, but he'd said it first with absolutely no pressure from me and I believed it: Dean Winchester loved me. Dean Winchester was willing to _admit_ that he loved me, and that was more than I could ever wish for…even if part of me had a feeling he was just saying it to make me feel better because he knew that I wanted to hear it.

"We need to go." John informed us, a small smile on his face.

"Right." I told him, heading for the door.

"Lan—jacket." Dean said, handing it out to me.

I turned around smiling and took it from him. "Right."

I headed out the door, Dean behind me, and when we got to the site, we were supposed to stay put, and Sam was getting agitated and hostile. He and his father fought a little when he came back, but we were going to follow him. All the tension Dean and I had been contributing was dissipating…but John's tension with Sam and Dean just seemed to keep mounting and mounting with everything that we did.

"Dean, touch up your car. I wouldn't have given it to you if I had known you were going to ruin it." John said as he went towards his car.

Sam and I smiled a little and almost mocked him with laughter, but the stern look on his face and his determination to get into the car made us shut up, and I got into the back while Sam drove. He and Dean started arguing about their father and I sighed because I was no stranger to this familiar disputing…but it was stressing me out and Dean and Sam were already upset I was with them in potential danger. Sam felt they were being treated like children, and Dean felt they should follow their father, and I felt like I had already done a lot of hunting while pregnant, so why not another hunt?

"You seem a little tense." I told Sam.

"Don't talk to him while he's driving." Dean shot at me.

I felt snapped at and sat back in the seat. "Sorry. I'll stop talking."

"I can't believe you—what haven't you told us?" Sam asked me angrily.

I took a breath. "Wait, now _I'm_ the victim of a fight? I've been nothing but supportive of all of you and I don't think you have any reason to be mad at me right now."

"Well you _do_ kind of talk to him like you have a secret." Sam informed me and I nodded slowly because it was only a matter of time, I supposed.

"That's because we do." I told them slowly.

Dean turned to look at me. "What?"

I sighed loudly. "Look, my source was your father. He knew where Nora was, and he told me and I went to fight her."

"Our father sent you after a werewolf by yourself? _Pregnant_?" Dean asked me sternly.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Then he goes and gets Lana to put herself and her unborn child in danger and she blindly follows him too!" Sam shouted.

"Sam! Not only am I _right here_ but I _chose_ to go! I'm my own person and I wouldn't have gone except that it meant letting my parents move on! Their spirits have been tied down to this earth for years, and I _had_ to let them move on! They deserved to go to the afterlife and be at peace! Why don't either of you understand that Nora was _my_ fight?" I yelled back. "_Mine_! She wasn't yours, and it wasn't you place to weasel your way into something when you have no right to weasel yourself there!"

Dean's cell phone ringing made us all stop talking, and then Dean told Sam that we needed to pull onto the next exit, but without an explanation, Sam lost it, floored the car, and pulled us all over and got out of the car to argue with his father. Dean and I got out of the car too and we were ready to get in between them if we had to, because both John and Sam looked pissed and this wasn't going to end well, I was sure of it.

"We need to talk." Sam told his father firmly.

"About what?" John asked, coming towards us.

Sam waved his arms around a little. "About everything."

Dean had to step in between them because Sam and his father hadn't resolved their past and things were getting unsettling. I didn't have anything to add, and Sam was done blinding following his father, and his father wasn't ready to talk about it. They got into another big fight just when I thought it was over about Sam leaving in the first place, and I got back into the car because it wasn't my place to be in their fight.

"Stop it! Stop it! That's enough!" Dean said, pushing them apart.

Sam and his father parted and we went to our own cars, and then we continued. We watched as we had found the lair, and their father thought it best we all go in and find the gun and leave. It wasn't exactly the _best_ plan, and I was still pregnant, but I sure as Hell wasn't letting them go in by themselves, and I sure as Hell wasn't glass.

"But there are four of us and then 8-10 of them—that's suicidal. I don't know if I can take two of them on by myself." I told him.

"That's all right—we just have to be quiet." John said and then leaned in to whisper, "And if things get rough, you have powers."

I nodded slowly. "Fine."

Then John told us about the colt and how they forged the gun to kill anything—there were only 13 bullets, and the gun was forged in 1935—the night people died at the Alamo. Somehow Daniel got his hands on it, and now we needed it because it was going to kill the demon that had killed Mary…Sam and Dean's mother. That was what had started it all, and John wanted the gun to avenge his wife's death.

"Kill anything, like supernatural anything?" Dean asked him.

"Like the demon?" Sam added.

John nodded at them. "Yeah…like the demon."

"I guess I'm in then…my mother would want this." I told them, grabbing a sword. "How come I never knew we had a pretty one?"

Dean smiled. "That's my girl, but, Lanni, I think you should stay put."

"Baby, I'm in this with you, and I can't let you go to your deaths without me." I replied as he stroked my hair. "So what are we waiting for?"

After a face from Dean and a small nod, we went in and tried to be as quiet as possible, but Sam tried to rescue a girl that was beyond rescuing—one that had been turned. She screamed, and it woke them all up, and we had to run. We lost John at first when we were out, and panicked—we couldn't lost him to damn vampires.

"Dad? DAD?" Sam and Dean called.

"John? Uncle Joe? Dad?" I tried with a swallow.

Sam and Dean looked at me and Dean was upset. "Uncle Joe?"

"Forgot that. He came up with the alibi." I said as I blushed a little.

Sam sighed and Dean looked a little mad too, but before they could say anything, John came towards us. Thank God he was alive and kicking because I certainly didn't want to lose him already. He was part of this somewhat broken family I had become a part of and I desperately needed us to be as patched together as we could be. Not to mention how close he was with my birth mother and I just felt like I needed to keep him around as long as possible.

"They won't come now—they'll wait until dark. Once a vampire has your scent, they have it for life." John explained to us.

I sighed loudly. "That sounds super awesome. What do we do now?"

"We get to the nearest funeral home, that's what." John said softly.

Dean and I ended up going to the funeral home just the two of us because we needed some time together. John was rather perceptive and though we were after blood because dead man's blood is like poison to vampires apparently, it was giving us some time to talk. Honestly though, do you think that Dean and I were going to talk about anything _truly_ important?

"Weird how there's different kinds." Dean said in our silence.

I shrugged a little. "Well look at humans—there are Caucasians and Mexicans and Chinese and Japanese—the point: we all have different races as it were, who are susceptible to different things."

"Good point." Dean told me with a slow nod.

I nodded at him and took a breath. "So where are we?"

Dean turned to me after getting the blood and we walked out to the car as he assessed the question. He knew what I meant by it, but at the same time he wasn't exactly sure what it was that I wanted from him. All I wanted was for him to answer truthfully, and he knew it, but deep down he wanted to make me happy and I liked that.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked me as he got to the car.

"It's just—where are we?" I asked him. "Where are you? Where am I? What are we going to do? Not the time to discuss right now, but…what are we going to do?"

Dean nodded at me. "Yeah, it's obviously complicated."

"Not really. We're only making it complicated." I said and then decided to change the subject because obviously this wasn't going to happen here. "You going to be bait?"

"Yeah." Dean told me, starting up the car.

I sighed and look at him from the passenger seat. "Be careful please?"

"Of course." Dean replied, and smiled at me.

I nodded and sat back as he drove us back to the motel, handing the blood to John, and then he told us that we knew what to do. We went and Dean pretended he was fixing his car, and one of the vampire females came up to him as the rest of us watched from our perches and I made a face.

"You need a ride? We could go back to my place." She told him.

Dean smiled a little and shook his head. "I don't think so. I draw the line at Necrophilia."

She slapped him, and then she picked him up, and kissed him, and I cringed—remind him about the showering and the brushing teeth and the mouthwash thing—only double this time. We shot her and the guy she was with, with arrows, and then came to the scene, her fainting and Dean picking her up because of the dead man's blood, and then John beheaded the male vampire and I felt a little hot and bothered. I'm not gonna lie—the way John did it was _incredibly_ hot.

"Burn these." John told Dean. "It will block our scent and hers until we're ready."

"This stuff stinks." Dean said, going over to the fire and burning what his father had given him.

John chuckled a little. "That's the idea."

"You sure they'll come for her?" Sam asked him.

John nodded to him. "When vampires mate, they mate for life—she's more important to the leader than anything. The blood sickness will wear off though, so we don't have much time. I want you guys to do what you need to do and then get out of here as fast as you can."

"Wait, Dad, you can't take them all out by yourself." Dean said suddenly and I nodded, standing next to him and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Look, that's an order." John told them. "And you listen too." He told me.

I swallowed. "Come on, this is a bogus plan and I'm not exactly your daughter so since when do _I_ have to listen?"

"But after that we'll meet up, right? Use the gun together?" Sam asked, and his father looked very much as if the plan was to do it alone. "You're leaving again aren't you? You still want to fight the demon alone. I don't get you. You can't treat us like this."

"Like what?" John asked him.

Sam looked at him firmly. "Like children."

"You _are_ my children. I'm trying to keep you safe." John replied.

"Dad, all due respect, but that's crap." Dean said and I did a double-take.

John did too. "Excuse me?"

Normally Dean didn't stand up to his father, and watching how loyal Dean was to him, and how rebellious Sam was with him this last little bit I was stunned. Suddenly Dean had a backbone where his father was concerned and it was attractive—he was trying to protect the only family he really had left, and John was being ridiculous.

"You know what Sammy and I have been hunting—you even sent us on a few hunts yourself. You can't be that worried about keeping us safe. Plus, you sent Lanni alone to fight the big bad that killed her parents and she's pregnant…I mean she's _pregnant_ with _your_ grandkid." Dean explained to him.

John gave him a look. "That's not the same thing, Dean, and Lana is special—she was the only one who could fight Nora."

"And that is a different story for another time." I told them. "The thing we're trying to point out here is that in order to survive this, we have to do this together."

Dean nodded. "She's right. So…what is it, Dad? Why do you want us out of the big fight?"

"This demon is a bad son of a bitch. I can't make the same moves and worry about keeping you alive." John explained, and I knew he was trying to keep them safe, but this was their fight too…and he was their father.

"We won't make a ruckus." Dean told him with a shrug.

John smiled sadly. "I'm not planning on making it out of this alive. Your mother's gone, and I can't risk losing you two, too."

"What happens if you die? What happens if you die and we couldn't save you? You know, I think Sammy's right: we should do this together. We're stronger as a family Dad, and you know it, we just are. With Lanni, we're even stronger—we can do this if we do it together." Dean told him, touched by his father's admittance, but not willing to show it.

"We're running out of time. You do your job and you get out of the area. That's an order." John said, and then he walked off leaving Sam and Dean angry.

I nodded slowly and looked at the boys. "Let's just do this, please."

We went to the vampires' nest, and had to take out the vampires and rescue the people in the cage. That was pretty easy in itself and then we all looked at each other and I spoke up because this was killing me. We had to save John, and we had to do it whether he wanted us to help or not—he was part of the family and we couldn't have his death on our hands.

"We have to go and save him." I said, fixing my jacket as we left the nest.

Dean looked at me. "What?"

"You both want to _not_ follow his order, so don't. You have a reason now—I have bad feelings that he'll die without us. Now move." I told them, heading out the door.

"Besides, I can be your loophole. I want to save him, I don't have to follow his orders and you two have to protect me."

They followed, and we ran through the woods, me handing Dean the crossbow so he could shoot vampires, and then Sam and I took the swords. Dean shot one of the vampires after we saw their father going down, and then Sam and I ran towards them, having to be close to cut off their heads. Sam got knocked down, and then the head vampire grabbed him and started to choke him as Dean and I ran towards him, and Dean picked up his dropped weapon and I rose my own.

"Come any closer and I'll break his neck." The vampire told us. "Put the blade down."

"Do it. Do it." Sam choked out.

Dean and I nodded, and the sword clattered on the street, and then Dean put the blade down. I didn't want to do it because now I felt like we were completely unarmed, but I didn't want Sam to die—he meant far too much to me.

The vampire looked at us. "Why can't you just leave us alone? We have as much right to live as you do."

"I don't think so." John said, and the vampire whirled around and was shot in the face with the colt gun we had been after.

The vampire fell to the ground slowly, but it was obvious that this gun was something else. He let Sam go, and I held onto him, and the female vampire was pissed that we could do something like that. And me? Alana Meckenzie? I was once _again_ hot and bothered by the hotness by Papa Winchester…great. At least in the long run it gave me something to look forward to with Dean should we still be doing this when he was his father's age and he was all sexy and strong…

"Luther!" The female vampire cried out.

She was going to come and get us, but the other female made her get in the car, and they left. Why we just let them go, I didn't understand, but at the same time we had to make sure that Sam was all right. We looked at John and we all knew this fight was not anywhere near as hard as the one to come and after helping Sam, we went back to the motel and started to pack, and I sighed and sat on the bed when I was done—I'm a speedy packer.

"What is it?" Dean asked me.

"I just—they'll be back. They have our scent for life." I reminded them.

Dean looked at me. "Let's not dwell on that. We'll deal with that when the time comes again—_if _it comes again."

"What's _really_ on your mind?" Sam asked me slowly.

"I made you guys ignore a direct order." I told them softly. "He'll be mad at me."

Sam and Dean smiled and kept packing and I smiled a little too because there was an unspoken agreement that I was part of the family—that John would only be angry because he cared so much. That thought made me feel pretty pleasant about it all, and at the same time I was a little worried because sooner or later I would have to come clean about the demon blood and then…and then everything would go to Hell.

"You didn't make us—you just gave us a better incentive too." Sam told me and smiled at me.

We all looked up as their father came into the room and I smiled a little and crossed my legs as he put his hands in his pockets. He was going to talk to us about our disobedience, and I was actually ready to be reprimanded…you can turn that into a dirty joke if you want to…I certainly am doing that in my head.

"So boys…" Their father began.

"Yes, sir?" Sam and Dean asked, going a little closer to him as I stayed on the bed.

John nodded at us. "You ignored a direct order back there."

"Yeah, but we saved your ass." Dean said, but he looked as if he would be punished under that strong façade of his.

"You're right." John told him with a nod.

Dean did a double-take, rather confused. "I am?"

Their father nodded at him. "It scares the Hell out of me. You're all I've got, but I guess we _are_ stronger as a family. So, we go after this thing…together."

"Yes sir." Sam and Dean said, and then they smiled.

"And you." He told me, making Sam and Dean part a little so I could be seen on the bed from the door.

I smiled my smile at him and beamed up innocently. "Yes?"

"You encouraged them, didn't you?" John asked me with a stern look that threatened a full-out smile.

I shrugged playfully. "Maybe a little bit."

"Thank you for that. It's nice to know you have our backs." John told me. "I think Dean was spot on when he said you were part of this family."

"Of course I have your backs." I said with a smile. "I love all three of you very much."

John nodded at me and then he went to go pack some of his own things, and then when Sam and Dean were done, we had to take the things out to the car, but I sensed Dean had something to tell me, and Sam taking their bags out pretty much let me know that he did. I put my hands on my hips nonchalantly and smiled at him as he came up to me and then placed his hands on mine.

"What?" I asked him.

Dean stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. "Vampires mate for life."

"They do." I nodded to him.

"So how come they have to be all respectable in that manner?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know—it kind of makes me feel like maybe humans have something wrong with them."

"Maybe," Dean agreed with a shrug. "So for the record, I've brushed my teeth, showered, and used mouthwash since that vampire kissed me…"

I smiled at him. "Oh, did you now?"

"Oh, I definitely did." Dean told me, leaning in.

I kissed him softly and then smiled when he deepened it on me, cradling me in my arms and smiling at me when he pulled away and I grunted in protest, my eyes still closed. He brushed his lips against mine but evaded the kissing and I pushed on his chest as he chuckled at how badly I just wanted to kiss him.

"You're a tease, damn-it." I said, sighing. "Is it too much for you to push tongue even just for a second?"

Dean chuckled. "How romantic, Baby."

"I just—" I took a deep breath and pulled out my phone to see the text and looked back up at Dean. "Jen needs me to call her asap…can we talk soon, please?"

"Of course we can, Baby." Dean told me, and then headed for the door. "Come out to the car when you're done."

**Note: Okay hope you liked that 24 page chapter. The next chapter leads up to some drama, and some sadness—you're warned now. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	17. When All You Love is Taken

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so this chapter is short and has a huge cliffy.**

**Standard warnings apply: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I kissed Dean's neck softly and smiled at him as we poured over some of John's things. Dean and I were sitting on the bed in the motel room and my legs were over his, both of us cuddled together. We had been trying to be as close to each other as possible and it was easy, and yet at the same time I was being distracted when we were _supposed_ to be focusing on John and on what John knew.

He had been through a lot and knew a lot about what we were going up against. I was pouring through his papers with great interest while he talked to Sam and Dean about the trail he had picked up a year ago, causing him to take off and Sam and Dean to reunite, and then about the demon. We found out it went after families—families with infants that were _exactly_ six months old.

"That why it came for me? So what happened to mom and Jessica is because of me?" Sam asked him.

Dean got up when I moved my legs for him. "For the last time, Sam, it's not your fault!"

"No it's _not_ my fault, but it's my problem!" Sam shouted at him.

"No, it's not your problem, it's _our_ problem!" Dean shouted back.

John stood up as I looked up and I wished that there was something that I could do about all of it. Sam, Dean and John were my family, and I wanted Sam not to pin all of this guilt on himself because this wasn't _his_ fault. A demon had come into his life when he was really little and had ruined all of this and it wasn't Sam's fault—I just wished I could explain that to him.

"All right, that's enough." John told Sam and Dean.

"So these heat fluctuations and everything—where are the signs now?" I asked, trying hard to change the subject.

John gave me a small smile. "Salvation, Iowa."

I nodded and opted to get into John's car, and he accepted because he knew how I felt and he knew I was trying here. Sam and Dean needed to talk to each other, and I didn't want John to be alone. So I sat in the passenger seat of his truck and I bit my nail, glancing at him as he drove and occasionally looked at me too.

"You okay, Lana?" John asked me calmly.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I think so—I'll be fine."

He nodded at me. "You know what you're going to do now?"

"No…no, I don't. I mean I need to be here for them but I can't tell them, John. I can't tell them about my powers, and about _how _I killed Nora, and I just…Dean said no more secrets and I have _so _many secrets!" I told him, taking a deep breath. "Hell, you've known my mother since before you married Mary and I just…I'm worried. I'm worried about the fall out."

John glanced at me. "What's stopping you from telling them? I think they've proven that they trust you—that you're part of the family."

"I _know _that they care about me!" I exclaimed and put my head in my hands. "It's just that Dean never really tells me what he feels. He's getting there, and I'll wait for him forever, but what if in all this waiting he realizes that he can do better—realizes that I can't possibly be the one for him? I mean I'm _lying _to him! I can't come clean about my true parentage, or about my powers and do you know how he's going to take this? I mean my baby is going to inherit my genes! I think…I think Dean knows that he can live without me and that's why he holds off on every emotional thing."

John paused a moment and then shook his head as I nodded. "I think Dean knows he _can't_ live without you, and that's why he pushes you away, Lana. He's going to stand by you no matter how angry he is at you for keeping so much from him. Just…trust him, and try not to condemn him for things he hasn't done yet. I know its daunting but trust me, Lana—that boy of mine is in love with you."

I turned to him and smiled. "I really hope that's the case."

John smiled too, and then his phone rang, and he got very grave as he chatted and I checked my text messages and sighed loudly. Turns out that Jen and Kevin had gotten into a fight and he had a flesh-eating bacteria for a while. He was fine now, but I was worried about them and hadn't seen them in a while, which was killing me, and then John pulled over and I swallowed as I felt the pain coming off of John in waves that he didn't show on his face…like Dean…and the boys followed us.

"I just got a call from Caleb—Jim Murphy's dead." John told them after getting out of the car.

"Pastor Jim?" Sam asked him. "How?"

John looked at him. "His throat was slashed."

We found out there were traces of sulfur, meaning a demon had found him, and it was time for us to act like every seconded counted and split up—going to the hospitals and looking for every certificate of birth to pinpoint which infants would turn six months next week—it would take awhile. In fact it was going to be a pretty daunting task, but I was willing to do it if it meant that I could help. Besides, the sooner we got this over with, the sooner I could do what I needed to do…what I _wanted_ to do.

"Dad?" Dean asked him.

John nodded slowly. "Yeah. You know, it's Jim—I can't—this ends now. I'm ending it. I don't care what it takes."

Then he got in the car and I went to his window, wishing there was more I could do and more I could say, but I didn't have anything. There was little I could say to make it better, and I knew John needed some time to himself and I knew that I needed to talk to Sam and Dean. What if this was it? What if this was the end for us?

"You want some space? I'll go with the boys." I told him, resting my hand on his arm.

He smiled at me a little. "All right."

I went to Sam and Dean's car and I shrugged when they gave me looks. "He needs space. Mind if I hop in the back?"

"Not at all." Sam said, but Dean seemed mad at me and I was going to let it go.

We drove to the hospital and Sam and I went into the Salvation Iowa Medical Center and Dean took off, and then when we were done getting our information, Sam began to look hurt—he was having a vision. I reached out and put my arm on his shoulder, taking a deep breath and rubbing it as he cringed.

"Sam? Are you all right?" I asked him.

Sam nodded at me. "It just hurts."

He pulled out a map and looked for a train and I just nodded, knowing he was onto something. Then we ran to the train tracks and he kept having vision spurts as we looked around to find the house from it—and we found it, running to talk to the woman from his vision. He was going to be a hero, and I was going to help him with that no matter what.

"Here, let me help you." Sam told her, offering to help her carry things as she tried to balance the baby carriage too.

We made small talk and found out that Monica's daughter, Rosie turned six months—today. This was bad…this was _very_ bad. What was happening here? Could the demon really be here? Could he really be right within our grasp?

"Sam? What do we do now?" I asked him as we started to head back.

He couldn't answer because he was having visions and I swallowed. I rubbed his back and he began to calm down, but he was still in pain. I kissed his check softly and ran my fingers through his hair before we went back to the motel and Dean and John sat on the bed while Sam sat in a chair rubbing his temples and explaining. I ran my fingers through his hair as he spoke.

"A vision?" John asked skeptically.

Sam nodded at him. "Yeah. I saw the demon burning a woman on the ceiling."

As they began to fight about the visions and not calling and everything, I got up and left the room. I sat down and I began to realize that I didn't really belong with them—this was their fight…it wasn't mine. What I really needed to do was find my mother…what I really needed to do was to find out what was going on with me and to figure out if I could really put Dean through all of this. I just…I needed to get away…

I ran down the street and I went to a nearby park and I sat on the bench and I started to cry a little. I loved Dean, and I loved our baby, but I was pretty certain that no matter what I did, I was never going to be able to do this. It wasn't that I didn't think that Dean would understand…it was that I felt so terrible about everything that I had put him through. Sometimes I felt at home and safe—no I _always_ felt at home and safe with them—but I just didn't deserve them.

"Hello?" I asked, picking up my phone when it rang.

"Lanni, are you all right?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head. "Not really. I need to be alone for a little bit, all right?"

"Where are you so we can talk?" He asked again.

I shook my head again. "You need to see your father off and get the gun. Please don't worry about me."

There was silence for a moment but then he replied, "I'm going to call you back soon, all right?"

I nodded and smiled sadly. "Okay."

I hung up the phone and I looked at it for a moment and then I called Jen because honestly she was the only one I could think of to talk to. She could understand the keeping secrets, and part of me knew that she would talk me into telling Dean. I was just scared, and I wanted Dean to stay with me no matter what, but my secrets were far too daunting, and the second I came clean, I could kiss him 'goodbye'…maybe it would be easier if _I_ was just the one to leave…

"Lan, what's up?" Jen asked me when she answered the phone.

I took a breath. "Jen, I'm lost."

"Honey, you sound like you've been crying! What's wrong?" She asked suddenly.

"I'm pregnant, I'm lying to my boyfriend, and I can't come clean. I'm too afraid, Jenny. I can't do this. I can't tell him about my heritage—about my parents, about my powers. He's scared enough about this baby…I can't scare him about it more." I explained to her. "It would just be better if I left him and let him move on with his life to someone better out there that actually deserved him."

"Take deep breaths, Lan. Take deep breaths. Look, even though you and I have always been close, Sam and Dean are your family. You connect with them much more than anyone else—besides me, of course. You guys have your downfalls, but you can't quit when it gets tough. You have to talk to them—have a heart to heart." Jen told me. "Dean is going to be pissed but you knew that. You knew that and you still entered into this."

I nodded slowly and smiled a little. "Yeah…hey, I would talk more and take in your wisdom, but I need to meet them—the big fight is just moments away."

"All right. I understand. I love you." Jen said truthfully.

"I love you too." I told her with a smile. "Bye."

I hung up, put the phone in my pocket, and took off for Monica's house. I saw their car and I took deep breaths before I got into the back seat of the car, and they both turned to me. This was a moment I had to take and even though they could tell I had cried, I was talking before they could.

I forced a smile. "Well look at this."

"Hey, Lan." Sam told me.

"Hey, you mind if I steal your brother for a moment?" I asked him.

Sam shook his head. "Of course not."

I got out of the car, and Dean followed, and we went to a clearing across the way so no one suspected that we were doing anything wrong. He stepped up close to me because he knew I was having a rough time and he wanted to make it better, but he couldn't. I was stubborn, and I had made up my mind and we were going to talk just in case some time we couldn't talk about it anymore.

"We need to talk about things." I told him, sticking my hands in my pockets.

"Yeah we do." Dean said, nodding and putting his hands on my hips, bringing my body closer to his.

I took a deep breath and looked at him, but I couldn't find the words to say, so I stepped up closer to him and kissed him softly. Dean nodded a little and licked my bottom lip a little and I opened my mouth for his tongue, wrapping my arms around his neck. He cupped my face with his hand and tried to bring me even closer to him, but then I pulled away and he opened his eyes.

"What was that for?" Dean asked me.

"I may not be around for much longer." I told him truthfully, feeling my voice crack.

Dean sighed loudly. "You're not going to die tonight, Lanni."

"Not that—I mean after this, I'm leaving. I'm going back to Kansas." I said and I regretted it the moment that I said it, but I didn't deserve him.

Dean looked at me for a moment with hurt in his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean after this I'm going. I don't belong here with you and Sam and your dad. You guys are my family, but I'm just another liability and I mean I'm pregnant and on top of that I'm hormonal. Look at how this demon unraveled you and Sam. Look at—look at the demon I had to kill." I said, but I stopped talking because it hurt me so much that I was keeping such important things from him.

"What happened with that?" Dean asked me slowly. "I mean you don't want to talk about it, but you keep bringing it up."

I looked at the ground and then into his eyes. "Because I'm a freak, Dean. My mother? She was a witch and not the sell your soul to the devil kind—the kind that has actual powers. My mother gave those powers to me, and I'm going to give them to our baby. How did I defeat Nora? I had to use my powers. I was faced with her, she hurt your father, I talked to her and she told me how much she hated me and how she needed me dead, and then I had to use incantations and I felt it rip me apart inside. I killed Nora, and talked to my parents' spirits who told me about Chelsea, whom I have to kill, and I realized I have darkness in me. I don't belong with you because in the long run, I'm going to hurt you…Baby, you're a hero and I can't be your downfall."

Dean pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. "Lanni, if you try, you can make this your home. Together we can have a home."

I nodded into him and cried. "How can you keep me around after knowing all of this? I mean I'm something that you should be hunting right now and you know it. I lied to you all this time, and I can't be the thing that distracts you and gets you killed."

"Baby, I'm freaked, but you taking off is _not_ the answer." Dean told me.

I just bit my lip and nodded slowly, and then we pulled away and he wiped away my tears. He kissed me tenderly and I knew that he was trying to get me to change my mind and I just needed to think because I felt like I was going to get him killed. Was this how Dean felt all the time? Was this why he hadn't pursued me in the first place? Why did I force myself on him?

"Go to Sam. I'll be there in a moment." I told him when he pulled away and ran his nose along mine.

Dean nodded, and then after a moment or two I began to walk back to the car and I got in, noting the looks on their faces. This could be our last night on Earth if things didn't go well with the demon, and I was freaking out. I just wanted them to know how much they meant to me, and this was as good a time as any.

"Obviously someone's been having a heart to heart." I told them, smiling at how patched up they seemed.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked me.

I nodded at him and smiled genuinely. "I'll be fine, I just…I want you two to know that I love you guys."

"Not again. Look, no one is going to die tonight except the demon." Dean said with a sigh. "So don't do this."

I smiled a little. "But I still love you."

Dean turned slowly. "I love you too."

"I love you too, Lan." Sam told me with a nod.

I smiled and then Dean tried calling his dad but there was no answer, and then the electric disturbances happened and there was a bit of a freak out. John was missing, the demon was on its way, and this was it. This was big, and I wasn't sure I could let them do this alone, but that would mean that I would be endangering the baby…again…

"It's coming." Sam said aloud.

We ran in the house to try and save Monica and her baby and the husband attacked us, and so we had to go and look for the demon upstairs, and save the baby from a fiery doom. It seemed easy enough, but the bullet just wasn't going to cut it because when the shot was fired, the demon just stood there like it was nothing and that didn't sit well in my stomach…neither did the way the demon was looking at me…

We all thankfully made it out of the house alive, and Monica thanked us, but the demon was still alive and though Sam wanted to go inside, Dean and I wouldn't let him—this was bad. The Colt didn't work, and there was something going on with the demon that seemed so familiar to me. This was definitely not going to end well and I wasn't certain what I was going to do now.

We tried to call John again, but it wasn't working. I sat hugging my knees to me and then Dean said something Sam didn't want to hear, and Sam grabbed his shirt and threw him up against the wall. Dean explained Sam and Dad were the only things helping him to keep it together, and he couldn't live without them. It made me think about my family, and I couldn't take it anymore. I got off of the bed and was going for the door when Sam let go of him, and Dean tried calling again—Dean's voice caught me.

"Where is he?" Dean asked aloud.

I turned to Dean and I looked at him, and knew right then and there that Meg had their father and they needed me more than ever. Dean hung up the phone and looked at Sam and I and I knew that I couldn't let them do this alone. Confused or not, I was certain that they were my family and I needed to be there for them.

"They've got Dad." Dean told us and started to freak out and he and Sam looked worse off than ever before.

"What are you doing, Dean?" Sam asked him.

Dean looked at him. "We have to go."

He and Sam began to talk as I grabbed my things, and then we all got into the car and we were all pissed off—tensions were high. While they were arguing, I was desperately trying to call Jen and getting no answer. I made an angry noise as Dean said we needed help, and we drove until we got to a man named Bobby Singer.

Bobby was pleasant and he was nice to me—especially after hearing about me having Dean's baby inside of me and the mention of my mother—and I was thankful for him. I also wondered if Bobby had slept with Florence too…ugh, Mom. While Sam read the books and Dean talked to Bobby and got some things, I stood outside and continually tried calling Jen. When she finally answered the phone, I screamed in joy.

"I know you two were probably busy, but this is big!" I exclaimed.

Jen was definitely out of breath. "I'm so sorry, honey! I just—what's wrong?"

Before I could say anything, I saw Meg and she smiled, and I hung up the phone, sticking it in my pocket. I was about to say an incantation when she backhanded my face and sent me flying. I blacked out for a little while, waking up to Dean backhanding Meg for saying something.

"Bitch gave me a serious headache." I said angrily.

I got up and then I went outside and I stood there, looking at my phone—three missed calls from Jen. I dialed the phone and then I smiled when she picked up even though I knew she was freaking and I couldn't help that.

"I thought the worst!" Jen cried.

"Well Meg showed up and Sam and Dean are exorcising the demon in her body right now." I told her. "Bitch gave me the world's biggest headache. I need you to pull up everything you can on—"

I stopped as a black cloud went into the sky, and I knew the demon had just been exorcised. It meant that they had gotten the information that they had needed and they had sent her packing, and now they were going to need me…so I had to go.

"Jen, I have to call you back. Right now they need me." I explained. "Can you please look up everything you can on these demons that work for the demon we're after? We need all the help we can get."

"Of course, Lan. Are you three all right?" Jen asked slowly.

I nodded a little. "Yeah, I suppose. I mean we're all freaking out, but this is their father. This is the man that helped in their creation, and they love him more than anything or anyone. If he's gone, then there's nothing that will stop them from snapping and getting revenge. I just—I understand and I probably would help them—if John's dead then I'll snap too. We need information to keep us at least _kind of_ safe, Jen. We need you."

"Of course. I'll call you as soon as I find something. Just give me a little bit because I'm a little tired—tossing and turning with Kevin and all. I'm going to need to shower." Jen told me.

I smiled at her happiness. "Okay. Tell Kevin I'm sorry for ruining his fun, all right?"

Jen laughed at that. "All right."

"I love you. Just in case I never get to tell you that, I love you. I always will. You're my best friend and I wouldn't be this far without you." I said as I wiped away a tear.

Jen sounded tearful. "I love you too, Lan."

Jen was my best friend and I knew that I could never live without her and that I needed to see her more often. She knew it too and we both hung up and then I wiped my tears and went inside to see the real Meg dead. Bobby told us to get to our next destination, so we went to Jefferson City, Missouri, and got the guns—and then Sam and Dean argued more over the Colt and whether it was staying or going, and Sam won—it was staying, guarded in the trunk by symbols so the demons couldn't get through it.

"This is going to suck." I told them when we found where John would be.

It was an apartment complex with human shields of all sorts: women, children, elderly—if it knew what we looked like and the demons could possess anyone they wanted to, we were screwed. We decided to pull the fire alarm, giving us all 7 minutes exactly to do what we needed to do. Sam pulled the alarm, and then Dean and I tried to come up with a clever story to distract the policemen so Sam could get us firemen suits.

When we got inside, we found two demons, and had to put them in the closet and then put massive amounts of salt there so they wouldn't escape—then we went looking for John. When we found him, he was sprawled on the bed and Dean ran to him, but thank God he was still breathing. Just to be sure, Sam splashed Holy Water on him, and then we found he was fine, and the boys began to move him while I directed them out—unfortunately, the demons were possessing people left and right now, and they kept coming.

"We've got to move." I said, guiding them away from them. "We need a place to hold the fort or something."

We ran into a room and tried to get out the window, pouring salt on the windowsill as we got down, making sure we were all going to get through this. A demon attacked Sam as Dean carried John, and then when Dean tried to help him, he got thrown off, and the demon started beating the crap out of Sam, and when I ran to help too, I was thrown away too, and then I saw Dean use the Colt, and I cursed myself for being afraid of embracing my inner witch again when I'd done it before. I helped them, and then Dean drove all the way to an abandoned house so we could have a place of sanctuary.

The first priority was John, and we got him into a bed, and then Sam went to lock up and put salt everywhere. I knew that I should've been helping, but I was more interested in patching things up with Dean. I wanted him to know that I was always going to be here, so I took his hand as he left his father's side and was looking at himself in the mirror in the bathroom, and he turned to me. I kissed him, and was only a little surprised when he kissed me back. The kiss grew between us, but we just stood there holding one another because it was a moment in which we both knew we were safe and loved—we both knew we were home.

"I won't leave you." I whispered when our lips parted. "I promise you, I won't."

Dean smiled and kissed me softly. "Good. I don't know what we would do without you."

"You'd be fine without me—it just wouldn't be nearly as much fun." I said, kissing him when he started to protest. "Go talk to your brother. We'll talk when this is over."

Dean nodded and as he went to talk to Sam, I sat with John as he slept, running my fingers through his hair. It was kind of amazing that I felt like he was like my father, but I really did—he was an amazing man and he protected me and he treated me like I belonged…I was going to miss him.

"I don't want to lose you. You're the closest thing to a father that I have." I told him sadly, and I wiped the tears and I smiled as he looked at me, and I tried to be strong. "Hi."

He smiled at me. "Don't cry, honey. I'm not leaving."

He got up to go and talk to Dean and Sam while I cried, and then the lights flickered and I got up to go and went out to see Dean pointing the gun at his father, and I suddenly wondered why if he was a demon, I didn't sense it. I backed up against the wall and then I started to mutter an incantation under my breath that would give Sam, Dean and I the strength we needed to do what we needed to do. When Sam came back, he sided with Dean and then we found out that the demon that was possessing John—was _the_ demon. We all got pinned against the wall, and then he started to talk to them and I got pissed suddenly.

"How dare you?" I asked him. "How come I can't sense you? And the Holy Water?"

The demon smiled. "You have no idea what you're up against, Lana. Until you embrace your heritage and the blood running through your veins, you'll never get it. You know me…I know you…someday you'll understand that. Someday you and I will use that to our advantage together."

I frowned, and then he started to taunt them as I struggled. He was telling their inner most secrets, and then the demon looked at me and I knew I was in for it. If he actually came clean about my secrets without letting _me_ do it, I was _definitely_ losing them and I didn't want to lose them.

"And you. Lately you don't feel like you belong. You know that more than this family not needing Dean, they definitely don't need you. Ever since you showed up, you've brought more drama then they needed, and you know you have to leave—but you never told them that you know you're going to die before this is over, have you? Did you ever think that maybe if you told them, you'd have the man you loved by your side before the end? Ever think to let him know that no matter what you would always love him and only him? Or did you realize he wouldn't care, nor would he change?" He taunted me.

Then the demon started to try and kill Dean, and I watched as he was in pain and he began to bleed from his torso and his mouth. Dean kept talking to his father inside and telling him not to let the demon kill him, and then as it looked as if he was dead, John was in control again and he began to cry, and as we were all let down from the wall we were being pinned to, Sam grabbed the gun and shot his father in the leg as I went over to Dean and I ran my fingers through his hair, looking up as Sam checked on him, and then on his father, who begged him to kill him and with that kill the demon, but he hesitated, and the demon left his body.

Sam and I got them into the car, and as we drove to the hospital, Sam and his father argued about Sam not killing him, but before it could go very far, I realized Dean was fading, and then we were all hit by a large truck, and the car was smashed. Amazingly, I was the only one who wasn't unconscious or maybe dead, though I was bleeding everywhere, and I checked Dean and then got out of the car, not knowing what to do or whether they would hold on or not as I pulled out my cell phone and tried to ignore all of my pain all over.

"I didn't think that would kill you." Chelsea said, laughing a little as she looked at me.

I turned to see her standing there and I was aware I had not heeded my parents' warning—find a way to kill her. What was I going to do now when I needed to get them to a hospital and I needed to save them? Dean was really fading here and I loved him and I was starting to have stomach pain. I placed my hand on my stomach and swallowed, looking at Chelsea.

"What do you want from me?" I asked her.

Chelsea just shrugged, raised a gun, and shot me…my body fell backwards, and hit the ground hard before I completely blacked out…

**Note: I'm really sorry this left on a cliffy and it was pretty much pure angst. This is the end of 'Season One', so look out for 'Hunting Demons: Remastered, Season Two'. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	18. The Continuation

**Don't forget to go and check out, "Hunting Demons: Remastered, Season Two".**

**It's the continuation of this story and I hope you guys like that one too.**

**ENJOY!**


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